The Choice

by Stella Gray

  Glancing at Tori, who was still comforting Anja, it was easy to imagine her as a mother. To picture her glowing and pregnant with my child. It was something I wanted, I realized.

  Maybe that could be the next step in our lives. Once my father had been brought to justice and his illegal business dealings dismantled, Tori and I could focus on having a family.

  Anja was still crying, with Tori crouched on the ground beside her chair, holding Anja’s hand.

  “I’m so sorry,” Anja said when she realized I was watching them.

  “Don’t be,” I said. I reached over and pulled some tissues from the box on the doctor’s desk. She was well-stocked; no doubt used to getting strong emotional reactions from clients.

  “I hoped so much that it was you,” Anja went on tearfully, dabbing at her eyes. “All these years, I never even allowed myself to consider that it wouldn’t be.”

  Tori and I exchanged a look. I could see the relief in her eyes, but I could also tell that she felt bad for Anja, who she had grown close to.

  “You didn’t know,” I reassured her. “It’s not your fault.”

  I didn’t blame her anymore for the part she had played in my father’s endless game of chess. We were all just pawns to him, a means to an end. Anja had gotten swept up in it just like the rest of us, only my father had managed to maintain near complete control over her life.

  “Maybe that’s why I stayed away so long, honestly,” Anja said. “Because I didn’t want to confront the possibility that you weren’t Max’s father. I wanted it to be true so badly, because it would mean he was a product of love, but I guess…I guess I was just fooling myself.”

  Her tears were welling up again, and Tori pulled her into a hug. I didn’t want to push Anja when she was already so upset, but I knew that we couldn’t have any more secrets.

  “Anja,” I said softly. “Do you have…any idea who Max’s real father could be?”

  Tori shot me a look, but I had to ignore it. I knew she was thinking of Anja’s feelings, but it was important to try to figure this out. Not just for me or for Anja, but for Max.

  “I think so,” she said, lifting her head to look at me. “I only had one client back then who refused to use protection sometimes.” She let out a breath. “He always gave me a fake name, but I recognized him once from the news on TV.”

  “From the news?” Tori repeated, frowning.

  “So you know his real name?” I asked.

  Anja nodded slowly. “Yes,” she said. “He was a politician. From here. Senator Mitch Lindsey.”

  Tori

  Chapter 20

  “Psst…Tori.”

  A little origami crane made out of notebook paper landed on my desk and I glanced over at Diane, snapping out of my daze.

  “You okay?” my hippie friend whispered.

  Faking a smile, I nodded. But I wasn’t okay, and I knew Diane would see right through me. Luckily, we were sitting in our Psycholinguistics class, and there was no way for her to grill me when Professor Dhawan was deep in the middle of a review for our upcoming final exams.

  “Let’s grab a tea after this,” she suggested. “You seem—”

  “Ms. Vergara,” Professor Dhawan called out, one hand on her hip, “I can only assume you’re talking during my class because you’re just as excited as I am about the written portion of your final regarding the applications of language acquisition within the field of artificial intelligence.”

  Giggles echoed around the room, and Diane immediately blushed. “I’m super excited, actually,” she said. “Really looking forward to it.”

  “Moving on,” Dhawan said drily, “there will be an additional short answer question worth ten extra credit points for those of you who skipped ahead to the chapter on the neurolinguistics of bilingualism…”

  Her voice faded into the background as I struggled to copy her notes off the board. She was basically listing every single concept that would appear on the exam, and I was grateful. I’d only missed a few days of classes when I’d fled to Springfield, but my timing had been awful. I knew I’d have to cram like crazy if I wanted to ace all of my finals. Unfortunately, with all the upheaval in my life and Stefan’s, I’d been having a rough time reacclimating to school.

  I’d felt a whirlwind of emotions since finding out that Max wasn’t Stefan’s love child after all, but instead my half-brother. I had a brother. It was surreal. Three days had passed since the DNA results had come in, but although I’d been doing my best to catch up with school and help Gavin’s brother get all the information he needed to bust Konstantin and the agency, all I could think about was Max. He’d looked uncannily familiar to me from the first day I saw him. I just hadn’t realized it was because I’d been seeing my father—and myself—in his eyes.

  And then there was the ugly side of it. The fact that my half-sibling had been conceived because my father had been in the habit of hiring the same sex worker and frequently refused to use condoms. Every time I thought about it, my stomach started to turn. I hadn’t been on speaking terms with him for awhile now, and this new development had only made my feelings of estrangement toward him grow even stronger.

  Stefan and Anja hadn’t even discussed telling him about Max yet, and they still hadn’t broken the news to Konstantin, either. As far as my father-in-law knew, we were all operating under the assumption that Stefan was Max’s dad. For now it was better to have this card in our hands. Keeping Konstantin in the dark gave us an advantage. Anja had also asked for some time to adjust to the situation, and Stefan and I were happy to comply. We needed to process it all, too. But now it was Thursday, and I knew I couldn’t stand any more inaction, just sitting around waiting for everyone to feel better about Max’s parentage. He was my brother.

  There was no way I could keep pretending that he wasn’t now a part of my life, my own flesh and blood. Stefan had gotten the chance to spend time with him already—now that I knew that he was actually my half-brother, why shouldn’t I get to see him as well?

  I had to see him.

  After class got out, I weaseled out of Diane’s tea invitation by promising her a lunch date soon, then made my way across campus with my phone pressed to my ear. I’d called Anja the second I was alone, and now I was anxiously listening to the ringing on the other end of the call.

  “Hi, Tori,” she answered, her voice a little husky.

  “Hey,” I said. “I’m just calling because, um…I guess I was wondering if I could see Max?”

  She didn’t answer right away and I started to feel anxious, gritting my teeth as a stiff breeze blew through my knit hat. It wasn’t until that exact moment that I realized how desperately I wanted a chance to get to know my brother.

  “I was thinking we could all have a playdate together,” I went on in a rush. “All four of us—you guys and then me and Stefan.”

  “What did you have in mind?” Anja asked cautiously.

  “Well, I don’t have classes this afternoon and there’s this really cool kids’ play area in the lobby of our apartment building. There’s a jungle gym and a ball pit and everything…”

  “Max loves a good ball pit,” Anja said warmly. “Though they are little germ factories.”

  “Then I’ll have to bring a bucket of hand sanitizer and a couple of plague masks,” I offered. “It’ll be tons of fun. Trust me.”

  We both laughed and then worked out the details.

  “I think he will like you,” Anja said, and I found myself grinning.

  “I think I’ll like him too.” I was practically kicking up my heels with excitement as I waved down a taxi.

  On my way home I called Stefan, begging him to leave work early and meet us at the condo. It wasn’t hard to convince him. Ever since our uncomfortable Zoric family dinner, Konstantin had been making life hell for everyone who worked at KZ Modeling’s offices. At least Stefan could take comfort knowing that his father’s reign would soon come to an end.

  I hung up and tapped on the divider b
etween me and the cab driver.

  “Can we make a stop?” I asked. “I just need to run into a store real quick—you can keep the meter running.”

  A few minutes later we pulled up to a curb in front of a toy store, and I tumbled out of the car and rushed inside, only to immediately find myself overwhelmed. What did one buy a seven-year-old? I had no idea, so I just started grabbing things willy-nilly. Board games, stuffed animals, Lego sets, a remote-control triceratops, a candy kit to make your own gummy worms.

  Within ten minutes, I had a massive load of toys spilling from my arms. After the cashier rang me up, she paged an employee to go outside and help pack me and all my purchases into the cab. The driver laughed at all the bags, but helped me rearrange everything in the backseat before we got back on the road, heading toward the condo.

  I’d probably gone overboard, but I couldn’t help it. The thought of giving all these things to Max, of showering him with all this fun stuff, gave me a warm feeling inside. I knew Stefan would probably be a little exasperated at the bill I’d just racked up, but I also knew he’d be happy that I’d taken so much joy out of spoiling the kid. Anja and Max had spent the last seven years under my father-in-law’s thumb, and everything they had ever gotten from him had probably come with strings attached. But these gifts had no strings. I just wanted my brother to like them—and me—and to be happy.

  When I arrived, Anja and Max were waiting in the lobby. They watched with amusement as I staggered out of the cab, laden with bright colored paper bags and struggling to carry everything at once.

  “What is all this?” Anja asked, her eyes wide as she helped me into the lobby.

  Max was already staring at the toys spilling out of the bags, his gaze laser-focused.

  “Things got a little intense at the toy store,” I confessed to Anja, lowering my voice to a whisper. “I just felt like…I’ve always wanted a sibling. I can’t imagine not spoiling him now. Plus, I’ve already missed so many birthdays and holidays, you know? I hope it’s okay.”

  There were tears in her eyes and she flung her arms around me.

  “He is very lucky to have a sister as generous as you,” Anja said, making sure to keep her voice quiet as well. “Of course it’s okay.”

  We hadn’t told Max anything yet, and I didn’t know when we planned to. Not only was my father a high-ranking politician with a reputation to uphold, but he was also up for reelection this year. If news came out that he had fathered a child with a prostitute seven years ago, his chances of reelection—or any kind of continued future in politics—would likely be destroyed.

  I pushed all thoughts of my father out of my head and forced a smile. I was here to get to know Max. To get to know my brother. Nothing was more important to me in this moment.

  Putting down the rest of the toys, I looked down at Max and took a deep breath.

  “I’m Tori,” I said.

  “I’m Max,” he said seriously, holding out a small hand.

  I shook it, thinking how little it was compared to mine.

  “It’s very nice to meet you, Max.” I gestured at the bags. “I brought you some things to play with. Your mom said you can keep them if you want.”

  His eyes widened. “All of them?”

  “Say thank you, Max,” Anja scolded gently, putting a hand on her son’s shoulders.

  “Thank you!” he said, his eyes darting around at the piles of toys and games.

  I felt a surge of joy.

  “There’s a really fun playroom down the hall,” I told him. “Do you want to help me take these toys there so we can open them and play?”

  “Sure!” he said, his eagerness making me laugh.

  “Great,” I said. “Let’s get to it.”

  Together, we gathered up all the bags and headed to the playroom. Just as we had managed to pry open a bucket of Legos, Stefan came into the room to join us. He frowned a little as he took in the amount of brand new toys surrounding us, but I saw a smile playing on his lips and when he caught my eye, he gave me a wink.

  While Anja and Stefan supervised, Max and I settled down on the floor mats and began building a city of Legos for the remote-control dinosaur to plow through. It soon became clear that Max was both creative and curious. He reminded me a lot of myself at that age.

  The four of us played all afternoon, cycling through the toys one by one, playing the games we liked and setting aside the ones that were too easy. Max was quick to learn, and I felt a surge of pride. After a few hours, Stefan stepped out to make a work call and Anja settled into a chair with her e-reader, leaving me to bond with Max by myself.

  “I heard you went to the zoo recently,” I said. We were rebuilding the Lego city after it had gotten clobbered by the lumbering triceratops. “That’s pretty cool.”

  “Yeah,” Max said, his head bouncing up and down in an enthusiastic nod. “We saw ALL the animals.”

  “All of them? Wow.” I couldn’t help grinning. “What was the biggest animal you saw?”

  He thought about it for a moment. “You mean the tallest or the heaviest?”

  “How about the heaviest?”

  “The elephants,” he said, very sure of himself. “The giraffes were the tallest, though.”

  “Makes sense,” I said. “What was the smallest animal you got to see?”

  That took a little longer to figure out, but I could see him thinking hard, his tongue sticking out of one side of his mouth. “The spiders,” he finally said. “But we saw some pretty big spiders too.”

  “Gross,” I said with a shiver, eliciting a laugh from him. “So, do you think you liked the big animals or the little animals best?”

  “I like all animals,” he said with a shrug. “Big and small.”

  My heart clenched with love for him. He was so charming.

  How could my father have this beautiful, brilliant child and not even know about him? He’d done some undeniably selfish things in his life, but this was seriously next-level.

  Despite our estrangement, I still loved my father because he was my father, and he’d raised me with love…but part of me couldn’t forgive him for the way he’d chosen to live his life. He had cheated on Michelle, who was the closest person I had to a mother. He had slept with Anja, and probably other prostitutes, and he had done so without protection, putting everyone’s health at risk. And he was actively working to protect Konstantin and the trafficking ring that KZM supported. I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to talk to him again, or if our relationship was even reconcilable.

  Max let out a yawn and I looked at my watch and found that it was later than I’d thought.

  “Do you want to get him home for dinner soon?” I asked Anja.

  “Let’s get a pizza,” Stefan suggested, coming over to help us clean up all the toys.

  “I love pizza!” Max said. “With all the toppings! Can we stay, Mom?”

  Anja laughed. “We can stay for dinner, sure.”

  Upstairs in the condo, Stefan called in our order while Anja set Max up in the living room with some animated adventure movie with talking animals. When the pizza arrived, she brought him a slice and returned to eat with me and Stefan in the dining room.

  “He’s really great,” I told Anja.

  She beamed. “He is, isn’t he?”

  “So smart,” I gushed. “And sweet as pie.”

  “I’m glad you called. It’s nice for Max to get to know his family.” She paused. “But honestly, I still don’t know what to tell him about you. Or his father.”

  I nodded. “I understand.”

  Reaching over, I took Stefan’s hand. While playing with Max, I had thought a lot about what I wanted, and how I could be involved in my brother’s life. I couldn’t just act like he didn’t exist, or that we weren’t related. He was a part of me. A part of my family. Nothing could change that.

  “I realize this is all really complicated for everyone,” I told Anja, “but I want to be in Max’s life, however I can be. If you’re comfortable
telling him that I’m his half-sister—when you think it’s the right time, I mean—I would be thrilled.”

  Anja smiled, but I could tell that she was still hesitant.

  “We don’t have to tell him anything if you don’t want to,” I quickly added. “Or if you want to wait until he’s older…”

  “No,” Anja said. “I would love to tell him. I think it would be good for him, and it’s obvious that he likes you very much.” She cleared her throat, looking down so that her hair fell in front of her face. “But I’m worried. I don’t know what the senator will say. Or do.”

  “Honestly, you have every right to be nervous,” I said. “I’m sorry to say so, but my father won’t be happy to learn about Max’s existence, I can tell you that.”

  Anja’s face fell, but she didn’t look surprised, just disappointed.

  I continued, “Not only will it be a huge bombshell for him personally—and also my stepmother—but this is an election year.”

  “An illegitimate child could ruin him professionally,” Stefan agreed.

  “But he needs to know,” I added. “And I think the world also needs to know what kind of man he is. No more secrets.”

  Anja was nodding. “No more secrets.”

  Stefan squeezed my hand. He knew how hard this was for me. How hard it would be for my family. But whatever happened, he’d be by my side. That was the most important thing.

  “So would you be able to…get me an appointment with the senator?” Anja asked us.

  “We can do that,” Stefan said.

  “He’s out of town right now, in DC,” I told her, “but he’ll be back soon.”

  “As soon as he’s back then,” Anja said firmly. “Only, I have to ask…” She looked at us pleadingly. “Will you come? I don’t want to be alone with him when I break the news. And I don’t think he will try anything if you are there. It will make things easier, safer. Please.”