Except she seemed to be the one doing the teaching.
He didn't like to think that there was more for him to learn when it came to the act of physical pleasure. Not necessarily because Eric thought he knew everything, but more because he didn't want to go deeper with anyone than he already had. But Alexa was like a big wave and Eric was like an amateur surfer. Stubborn and determined, Eric swam to the giant beauty of nature with the intention to master it, to teach it a lesson, and it wasn't long before she pulled him under, dragging him deeper, to a place he had never been before.
He didn't know how to feel about that.
Eric participated in morning skate, but to say he was present would be too generous. His head was still swimming with thoughts of Alexa, with what she was doing, with questions of when he was going to see her again and if he should see her again at all. He didn't like feeling out of control. He didn't like being confronted with the fact that he didn't know everything the way he thought he did. More than anything, he did his best to avoid Dan simply because Dan was more intuitive than Eric realized, and the last thing Eric needed was Dan realizing he was making out with Dan's sister as a way to educate herself on the art of pleasure.
Instead, he tried to focus more on what his coach was telling him but it was difficult to do so. In fact, Eric was sent to skate laps during a water break like he was back in Sweden, a boy of nine or ten, being punished for getting a drill wrong one too many times.
This was not how things were supposed to go. Eric was not supposed to lose his head over a woman. Even a woman as beautiful as Alexa.
And yet…
He refused to finish that sentence, even internally, because he didn't want to see what he would find at the end of it.
When the skate was finished, he decided to break habit and take a shower there rather than wait until he got home. It allowed him to focus his thoughts and linger on those he wanted solutions to. Of course, all that permeated his thoughts were Alexa and the way she felt against his body, how she clung to him with desperation, how she made that whimper and he'd realized controlling himself around her would practically be impossible.
His breathing started to quicken just thinking about it. He shifted in the shower, extending one arm out to hold on to the tile in front of him so the water pelted his lower back like a massage. The stretch caused him to groan and he pushed his shoulders down like a cat and moved his body to the left and to the right.
It was almost as though he was taking a shower to cool himself off.
Silly.
He never needed a shower to do something like that before.
When he finished, he turned off the water and allowed himself to stay in the steam and take a moment for himself. Burying these feelings he had never had before wasn't as easy as he thought it would be. As such, he wasn't quite sure what to do with himself.
"Move," he muttered, inwardly rolling his eyes at his helplessness. "Don't just stand around here—move."
Forcing himself out of the shower and back into the locker room, Eric clenched his teeth together, shaking his head. He should not be feeling so utterly helpless around one woman who was his best friend's little sister. He should have more of a grip on himself. He had never acted this way before because he never felt this way before and he didn't know how to snap himself out of it.
He pulled on clothes and pushed the thoughts away. He had a game later tonight, and then the team left for Chicago. He was looking forward to the trip because it meant time away from this place. He never should have agreed to educate Alexa on pleasure. He never should have let himself get so caught up in this mess that was now too complicated to get out of.
By the time he stepped from the locker room, Eric had banished nearly all thoughts of Alexa from his head until he saw Dan and a couple of the other guys in the parking lot.
"Finally," Dan called when he saw Eric.
Eric frowned. It almost looked like they were waiting on him.
"Princess needs her shower?" Cian asked, crossing his arms over his chest and arching a brow. He was a big guy on the team but one of the weaker links. Houston needed size though, which was why he had yet to be traded.
"Needed to wash off your mom's smell," Eric quipped. "What are you assholes doing in the parking lot like some kind of delinquents?"
"Waiting for you," Dan said as though it was obvious.
"Waiting for me?" Eric glanced to his car nearby before looking back at them. "Why?"
"Because we figured you wanted to come," Brett Ellison said. "We're heading to Hickory, that barbeque joint on Seventeenth Street. You know, where the waitresses wear the cute red miniskirts?"
"Oh, yeah." Eric chuckled. "Is that place even open? It's, like, ten in the morning."
"Yeah, exactly when they open," Dan said.
Eric shot Dan a look. "I'm surprised you're going," he said. "You're not really the type to ogle waitresses just trying to do their jobs."
There was a bitter breeze that nipped the back of Eric's neck.
"Hey, 'ogle' makes us sound so sketchy," Brett pointed out. "And last I remember, you typically jump at the chance to spend time with potentially interested women you could probably be able to convince to go home with you."
Eric looked away, swallowing a smart retort. He didn't like to admit it, but Brett was right. He did typically like to go out where he knew there would be at least one woman he could interact with, one woman that he knew would be able to go home with to forget for a second that he was a professional hockey player, that he was in the middle of the United States living his dream, so far away from home. That helped him forget that he was alone.
Eric had never been confronted with the feeling of loneliness before. He had never admitted it, especially to himself. But looking at these guys who were huddling together in a parking lot, planning to head to a restaurant filled with beautiful waitresses was not a life he wanted to be part of.
At least, not anymore.
What's the matter with you? a voice in his head questioned. There was judgment in the voice. This has you written all over it. What's gotten into you?
Before Eric could even think of something, an image of Alexa floated into his mind. His heart clenched at the sight and he immediately banished it. The last thing he needed was being tied to his best friend's little sister—especially someone who probably had no interest in him at all beside the fact that he was attractive. Changing who he was over some girl was not exactly what he wanted.
He cleared his throat.
"I'm in," he forced out, but as soon as the words left his mouth, he could not help but sense dread pooling in the pit of his stomach.
- - -
Hickory was notorious for its barbeque everything. They made their sauce from scratch each morning. Everything was fresh. The smell was so strong and so succulent, pedestrians and drivers with open windows could smell the food a block away. The restaurant was always busy, especially after 4:00 pm, and they didn't take reservations, so getting a table tended to be impossible. Waitresses were also beautiful and friendly, whether they were serving a bunch of flirtatious hockey players or a family that had just gotten out of church. They had a monthly specialty menu that was always better than the last month and they provided fully prepared meals for the holidays so cooking wasn't a requirement.
When the guys stepped through the doors, the strong odor of barbeque hit Eric's nostrils and immediately caused Eric's mouth to water. He was from Sweden. Barbeque wasn't typical, and yet, being in Texas had changed his tastes. Somehow, he had been trained to salivate over something as messy and succulent as barbeque.
They were whisked away by a heavily made-up hostess in a tight shirt and short shorts. Eric waited for the guys to slide into the booth so he could take an end seat. A couple of the rookies picked up menus but Dan and Eric already knew what they wanted.
Because they got there just as the restaurant was opening, a waitress stopped by immediately to take their order. She had curly brown hair a
nd was wearing tight black pants and a low-cut Hickory shirt. She had red lipstick and long eyelashes and Eric would typically have on his patented charming smile, oozing out as much charisma as he could muster after a morning skate, but, for some reason, couldn't bring himself to even try.
She was exactly his type—beautiful and perky—and, judging by the way her eyes kept shifting over to Eric even when they didn't have to, interested. Typically, he would say a few lines, she would eat them up. He would leave a tip; she would leave her number. That night, they would hook up, and Eric still wouldn't know her name in the morning.
He was obviously attracted to her. There was no denying how beautiful she was. And yet, there was no denying that he simply wasn't interested.
He shook his head when she left, watching her walk away and trying to get himself enthused about potentially sleeping with her.
"Fuck, the girl is fine," Brett said, shaking his head before biting his knuckle. "What, Eric, no comment about it? You're usually laying it on thick by now."
Eric shrugged and took a sip of the freshly made strawberry lemonade she had just dropped off. He decided keeping his mouth shut would be the least suspicious thing to do.
"What?" Dan asked, nudging Eric. "No quip? No smartass comment? You have a thing for a girl or something? You getting serious on us?"
Eric snorted. "I mean," Eric said with a shrug, "if sleeping with your sister is getting serious, then I guess I'm getting serious."
The rookies snickered and Dan shoved him good-naturedly. Eric immediately took another sip of his lemonade, this time making it long and worthwhile. Who knew that telling the truth was the best way to get out of a bind? Even better, Dan was quick to dismiss that anything was going on.
Eric had to make sure to keep it that way. If Dan found out…
He couldn't even finish that sentence.
The best way to avoid any potential suspicious behavior was to try and sleep with his waitress. But regardless of the logistics of this plan, he couldn't bring himself to do it. He didn't even want to.
And it was all Alexa's fault.
7
Alexa
Alexa wasn't expecting Eric to show back up at her door later that day, but just after she finished microwaving herself some leftover spaghetti, she heard a now-familiar knock on the door. She hesitated before opening it. The last time she did, he kissed her unexpectedly, taking her breath away and making her feel things she definitely didn't want to feel. She sucked in a deep breath and lectured herself about being a coward before forcing herself to open the door. She stepped back once the door was open and prepared herself for…
She wasn't quite sure.
She released a breath and looked at Eric.
"I thought," he said slowly, one hand cupping the back of his neck, as though he, too, was slightly uncomfortable being here so soon after he had left. "I thought maybe we could start the next lesson."
Alexa felt her mouth dry at the thought of what the next lesson might be. They had already kissed pretty thoroughly. From here, it would be things she hadn't actually done before. She felt her heart skip at the thought and she forced herself to try and remain as steady as possible. Such a task was impossible, however. In fact, she couldn't even get her voice to work so she had to nod her acquiescence.
She took a step back and he walked through. He seemed like he was headed for the couch but stopped and turned, as though he was just as nervous as she was.
But how could someone as experienced as Eric be nervous? He had done this plenty of times before. He knew exactly what to expect. In fact, Alexa figured he would be desensitized to what they were doing together. It shouldn't really matter at the end of the day, because it wasn't as though she was a girlfriend or someone who meant anything to him. She was just his friend's little sister asking him for a favor.
At that moment, the microwave beeped, letting her know her spaghetti had been sitting there for at least a minute.
"Uh, did you want something to eat or drink?" Alexa said. She'd suddenly lost her appetite but was going to pop open the microwave so it would stop beeping at her. She made her way to the kitchen and took out her spaghetti, sitting it on the counter before turning back to Eric.
Eric wiped his hands on his thighs as he took a seat on the edge of the couch.
"I'm fine," he said. "If you need something…"
"I'm good," Alexa said. She stepped back into the living room but kept her distance from Eric.
Something had changed between them. Something that most definitely had to do with the kisses they shared. She had experienced more than she realized and as she went back over it again and again, it was hard for her to express what she felt. Eric must have felt something strange too, simply due to how he was behaving himself.
"What's this one about?" Alexa dared to ask.
Eric tensed. She could see it in the way his shoulders stiffened and the way his jaw popped. Had she asked the wrong question? Were the lessons supposed to be some sort of surprise?
"Pleasure," Eric said. His voice was tight but his eyes were that dark blue again. Her body shuddered and she was struck by the fact that her body reacted to a change in eye color—but only with Eric. How strange that something so innocuous could have so much power over her. She did not understand it. Perhaps that was why it was so important that she learn all of this. Because sex and everything that went into it was not something she understood, and she wanted to.
Her mouth went dry. She couldn't respond. Instead, she tried to swallow but her throat was scratchy and it was difficult to do so.
She nodded her head, her food forgotten, and headed back to the living room. However, she made sure to keep a safe distance between herself and Eric. She didn't want to get too close—afraid he was going to suck her into his vortex with no hope of being saved.
"Okay," she forced herself to say.
"Does that scare you?" His voice smoothed out, his eyes locking on to her like a target. It was almost as though he had regained some of his notorious confidence.
"N-no." Her voice gave her away.
She felt like such a fool. So inexperienced. A child.
She looked away, her face turning hot.
His lips curled into a smirk and he patted the couch next to him. Alexa's eyes shot to him and her heart skipped a beat. She needed to take a breath and get a grip on herself or else she was going to make herself appear even more immature than she was already being.
"You lie." He patted the place next to him once more, his eyebrows shooting into his hairline as if to tell her he wasn't planning on asking her again. "Why? You should admit when you're scared."
"It's not a turnoff?" More than anything, Alexa wanted to stay where it was safe, in between the two walls that formed the entrance to the kitchen, but she forced herself to move to the couch. Each step felt weighted, like she was slogging through cement.
"A turnoff?" he asked, genuinely confused by her question. "Nothing you could do could ever be a turnoff."
Alexa furrowed her brow, her fear temporarily forgotten. How was that possible when Tim seemed to think everything was wrong with her, to the point he broke up with her because of everything she couldn't give him?
"Does my answer surprise you?" Eric asked as Alexa slid down next to him. Her body was still tense but her knee hit his own and she didn't move it.
"More like confuses me," she admitted, tilting her head to the side so her hair spilled over her shoulder.
"How so?"
She was surprised to see that he seemed genuinely interested in what she had to say.
"I just…" She didn't like to bring up Tim, especially in front of Eric, but she couldn't help it this time. "Tim essentially broke up with me because of my inexperience. I just figured that since I really have no idea what I'm doing, it would be more of a job than an enjoyable experience, because you would have to teach me how to make you happy. I guess I just assumed sex was something natural. Like, I should know how to make you happy e
ven though I've never done this before."
He chuckled but not in a mean way. "You foolish girl," he said. She shot him a look but even she could recognize that there was nothing but warmth in his tone. "One of the greatest things about sex is that when you do it with a new partner, you don't know what they like either. It's all a guessing game—a fun guessing game that you get to participate in. For all my experience, I have no idea what's going to bring you pleasure and what isn't. What works for you might not work for someone else. That's the exciting part—figuring it all out. Now, I will admit, we have our work cut out for us because you don't know what works for you either. Yet. But that's where I come in."
"But I was thinking more about how to please you," Alexa said quickly. "I mean, a guy. Not necessarily you specifically. Me, I'm not concerned about."
"You should be," Eric said. He leaned forward and took a strand of her hair between his fingers before wrapping the strand around his index finger. "One of the most valuable things you can do is know exactly what you like and what you don't, so when you do meet someone and you do have sex, you know what you want, and you're comfortable enough to vocalize that want. This whole mind-reading bullshit you see in television shows and books doesn't actually happen in real life. In real life, there's lots of laughing and weird, embarrassing noises and you typically take off your own clothes and if you meet the wrong person, sometimes it feels more like work."
Alexa tilted her head to the side and Eric released his hold on her hair.
"What I'm trying to say without going on a tangent is," he said, "you need to know yourself. That makes it easier for your partner and it's easier for yourself."
"Okay," Alexa said slowly. "How do I figure it out? I've never…" She felt her face heat up and she was forced to look away again. "I've never actually done this—even to myself. I tried one time but nothing happened that was explosive and awe-inspiring so I thought I was doing it wrong and stopped."
The Defenseman: Book 4 in the Bad Boys of the NHL Series Page 4
