Pretend We're Over

by Ella Miles

  “What are you doing?” I ask.

  She blushes. It’s an adorable shade of pink below her pale, freckled covered cheeks that make her look like she’s about fifteen. But one glance below her adorable cheeks tells me she’s all woman. Even though she’s wearing an oversized T-shirt and jeans, it doesn’t hide the swell of her breasts and the curve of her hips, leaving me watering. She may not be my normal type, but I can appreciate a beautiful woman’s body when I see it.

  “Sorry.” She immediately stops trying to dry up the water on my pants and realizes her hand had slipped dangerously close to copping a feel.

  Her gaze drops to the shattered glass on the floor. “I’m so sorry. Let me buy you a new drink to make it up to you. I’m not usually a stumbling drunk like this.”

  She’s rambling. It’s enchanting, but she’s in the bridal party. Everyone is married in the bridal party, except me, and I don’t flirt with other men’s women.

  “No,” I say.

  “No? Please, I insist…What’s your name?”

  “Sebastian. And you don’t need to buy me a drink. All the drinks are free, courtesy of the bride and groom.”

  “Oh, I know, I just meant that I should at least order you another drink and get it for you so that you can keep enjoying whatever you were doing. Another lap dance or whatever or…” Her cheeks blush again as she blinks rapidly like she’s batting her eyes, but I don’t think she realizes she’s doing it. “I’m Millie, by the way. Amelia, actually, but everyone calls me Millie. I’m getting you a drink. I—“

  “Millie,” I say, putting my hands on her shoulders, trying to get her to stop rambling. “You really don’t need to get me a drink.”

  “No, but I insist. I don’t want you to think of me as the drunk who spilled your drink all over you. What were you drinking?” She looks me up and down and then to the drink on the floor.

  “Vodka?” she asks.

  “No.”

  She scrunches her nose up as she tries again. “Gin?”

  “No.”

  “What were you drinking then?”

  I sigh. I don’t like telling people that I’m not drinking. They never understand why, especially in a setting like this. It’s not that I’m embarrassed to be a recovering alcoholic, but I don’t usually broadcast it.

  “Club soda with lime,” I finally answer.

  “Oh.” Just one syllable, but I know more is about to spill out of her. “Well, I don’t feel so bad now because club soda shouldn’t stain.” She holds up her own drink. “I should switch to club soda; it’s more fun than what I’m drinking.”

  I study her clear drink in her hand for the first time. “Which is?”

  “Water.” Her cheeks burn red again. “I’m on a diet. Alcohol is one of the biggest culprits of weight gain.”

  I blink rapidly, taking in her words. Diet? What beautiful woman like her needs to be on a diet? But I don’t ask more. If it’s just an excuse to not explain why she’s not drinking, who am I to judge? She could be an addict like me, or pregnant and not ready to tell yet. There could be a million reasons why and none of them matter to me. After this weekend, I doubt I’ll ever see Millie again. She must be one of Oaklee’s friends. And as much as I like Boden, I don’t plan on hanging out with his wife’s friends after this weekend.

  I realize that she’s stopped talking and is staring at me, waiting for something, but I was more fascinated with the way her lips moved than what was coming out of them.

  I’m an ass.

  “I don’t want a hangover tomorrow.”

  She nods. “I’ll go get you that drink.”

  I shake my head as I put my hands in my pocket to keep from touching the curves in front of me hidden beneath layers of clothes. There is something about her that intrigues me. But whatever mystery she’s hiding, it will stay hidden.

  I didn’t spot a ring on her finger, but if my pregnant theory is correct, her hands may be too swollen to wear her ring. I remember when it happened to Larkyn. I don’t know which of the lucky bastards here gets to call her his wife, but he’s definitely lucky. She seems more real than any of the other chicks here, even if she is a little strange.

  She and I would never work, though. A woman like Millie is looking for forever. She expects a good man who flatters her and brings her romantic gifts—I’m not that man. I’m focused, disciplined. I work out two times a day, eat three perfect meals, meditate, journal, and crunch numbers to keep the business afloat. That’s my day. I don’t have room for a woman like Millie. A woman who is wild and untamed and seems to dance to her own drum. I have room for an occasional fuck, nothing more.

  “Don’t bother with the drink, I’ve had enough anyway.” And with that, I start toward the group of guys chatting with Boden. I need to get away from her before I make a mistake. A man like me can’t make a single mistake. For me, a single mistake leads to a lifetime of fuck ups, and I’ve worked too hard to mess it all up now.

  2

  Millie

  I watch Sebastian walk away toward the groom. God, his ass looks great in those jeans. It’s tight and firm, and damn do I want to run my tongue all over it…

  “Earth to Millie,” Oaklee says, snapping me out of my haze.

  “What?” I say, taking a seat next to Oaklee and across from Cynthia.

  “What are you staring at?” Oaklee asks, sitting up in her chair to get a better look.

  “Nothing,” I mumble into my water.

  “That’s not nothing. That’s Sebastian King,” Oaklee says, her voice rising higher as she speaks.

  “Sebastian, who?” Of course, his last name has to be King—figures. He looks like royalty in his deep blue shirt, dark jeans, and muscles for days.

  “Sebastian King,” Oaklee says again before pulling the straw of her fruity drink into her mouth and staring at me with a knowing smile.

  I lean back in my chair. “Am I supposed to know the name or something?”

  “No, but you should definitely get to know the man. He’s cute.”

  “So? There are a lot of cute men here.”

  “He’s single. He’s like the only man here who is our age and still single.”

  I huff. “So because he’s the only single man here, that means I should go after him? Sorry, but I’ll pass.”

  Oaklee and Cynthia trade glances. “No, you should go after him because he’s hot.”

  I still, trying not to react because my friends mean well. Really, they do, but they don’t understand my life. They don’t understand that a man like Sebastian King would never go after a woman like me. Even if he did, I’m not interested. My life is too complicated to get involved with a guy right now.

  “Please. There are plenty of hot, single men here.”

  “Where?” Oaklee asks, batting her eyelashes at me.

  We scour the room, but every man my eyes turn to seems to be coupled off.

  “What about him?” I point to a man in tight jeans, tattoos, and long hair. He’s not really my type, he’s kind of got a biker vibe going on, but I’m trying to prove a point, not actually date the guy.

  “Gay,” Cynthia answers.

  “No, he’s—“ I start, but then a skinny man in leather walks over and kisses him firmly on the lips. “Fine, he’s gay. That doesn’t mean...”

  “Honey, you’re thirty-two and at the last of your single friends’ weddings. I’m not saying there aren’t single men out there. There are plenty, but not here. Even if there were plenty of single men in this bar, Sebastian King would still top them all. I mean, look at the guy,” Cynthia says.

  We all turn to Sebastian. He’s talking with two of the groomsmen, who are both married. He really is the only single guy in this room. How could that be? We are only in our early thirties. Plenty of people don’t get married until later in life. How did I end up with friends who all took the plunge by thirty?

  Sebastian cocks his head toward us. He must have felt the three pairs of eyes staring, and at least one woman droo
ling in his direction. He frowns when he spots me staring and then quickly turns back to his conversation.

  I exhale a breath. If he hadn’t already made it clear he wasn’t interested, that one look did it.

  “He’s so dreamy,” Oaklee says.

  “Down girl, you’re getting married tomorrow, remember?”

  “It doesn’t mean that I can’t look at attractive men. Sebastian has always been good looking, but in the last couple of years, he’s somehow grown more muscle, more chiseled, more refined. And that dimple just above his jaw is swoon-worthy,” Oaklee says.

  I let my eyes drift. I haven’t seen said dimple yet, because he has yet to smile in my direction. Shepherd makes him laugh and what do you know, he does have the sexiest dimple. I want to put my tongue in it and…

  “What?” I ask when I notice Oaklee and Cynthia staring at me again.

  “We all agree Sebastian is cute. You already bumped into him.”

  I moan. “Don’t remind me. I literally bumped into him and made him spill his drink.”

  “So? That’s a classic meet-cute moment—an adorable story to tell your kids someday.”

  “We won’t be telling our kids anything because there won’t be any kids. There won’t be anything. Sebastian isn’t interested.”

  “Are you kidding me? You’re hot as hell, Millie. Why wouldn’t he want to go out with you?” Oaklee asks.

  I stare down at my clothes. I had every intention of wearing a dress and heels tonight like all the other girls here, but I don’t usually wear dresses. So when I packed the single dress I own, I didn’t think to try it on first. I didn’t expect the zipper to snap when I put it on tonight, only moments before we were supposed to leave—the consequences of the ice cream and wine I’ve been consuming to drown out my feelings lately.

  And it wasn’t like I could borrow a dress from my abnormally skinny friends. They are a size zero, while I’m a twelve. The dress was a size ten. It was a struggle to fit my thick thighs and large breasts into the dress on a good day, let alone with the ten-pound weight gain I’m currently carrying around.

  I look back up at Oaklee. I’m not going to spell out for her why a sculpted man like Sebastian wouldn’t go for a soft curvy woman like me. Even in the best shape of my life, I never looked skinny or fit. I’ve always been curvy. I don’t have a problem with that, but Sebastian King is too arrogant to be knocked off his high throne to consider dating a woman like me.

  “Trust me, after basically plowing him over and spilling his drink all over him, he’s not attracted to me.”

  Oaklee frowns. “I’m sure he’s just wasted like all the other guys here. He didn’t realize you were flirting with him.”

  “He wasn’t drunk.” He didn’t even have a single drink, just like me.

  “Well, he isn’t dating anyone. He’s a single guy. And it’s not like he has a lot of choices here,” Oaklee says absentmindedly. “Oh my god!” She looks at me. “I didn’t mean…I’m sorry, Millie.”

  I down the rest of my water, but it does nothing for me. Screw my diet. I need a drink.

  A waitress passes, and I jerk two shot glasses off her tray. She tries to stop me as the shots aren’t for me, but I don’t give a damn. I have some catching up to do. I throw both shots down, while Oaklee and Cynthia stare at me.

  “Millie, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to imply that you were Sebastian’s only choice. You’re hot as hell and the smartest, funniest chick here. You are…” Oaklee keeps talking, but I ignore her. She’s a bitch, but we’ve been friends for years. It’s not the first time she’s said something like this to me. We are always honest with each other, and she means well.

  “I just don’t want you to be alone forever, Millie. It’s time you get back out there,” Oaklee says, squeezing my hand with pity in her eyes.

  Dammit. I thought we had gotten past the pity.

  “I’m fine, Oak.”

  “I know you are. I just worry about you, now that I’m getting married. You’ll be alone, again.”

  I sigh. We’ve been through this before. Oaklee and I have technically been roommates for the last six months, not that she’s spent much time at our place. She’s been practically living with Boden the whole time.

  “Go talk to Sebastian,” she says.

  “I will, but not so that I can date him. I don’t think he’s dating material.”

  “Then what?”

  I wink at her, and she smiles. “As long as you get back out there. It’s been too long. And for what it’s worth, you and Sebastian would make a cute couple.”

  I roll my eyes. She thinks everyone would make a cute couple. She’s in love and just wants that for everyone else.

  I start to walk toward Sebastian.

  “Wait!” Oaklee says.

  I stop and turn toward her. She studies me a second, then runs her hand through my hair, giving me a deep side part, before she pulls out some red lipstick from her purse and applies it to my lips.

  “You finished?” I ask. I’m used to Oaklee using me like a dress-up doll. This isn’t the first time she’s put makeup on me or fixed my hair.

  “One more thing.” She grabs the hem of my shirt and rips it.

  “What are you doing?” I screech as she rips my favorite Lumineers T-shirt.

  She looks down at my shirt that now ends just below my boobs. She knows that I’m not wearing a bra, I hate the things—so constricting.

  “I can’t go over to him like this. He’s already seen me normal. This is…”

  “Sexy?”

  I look down as I cross my arms over my now bare stomach. Oaklee quickly knocks my hands down and attempts to give me a confidence-inducing look.

  I take a deep breath. I look sexy. I have curves—curves men find attractive, even if I’m not as thin as Oaklee and Cynthia.

  “Perfect, go get him.” She slaps my ass as I walk toward Sebastian. I’m not his usual type, but as I walk toward Sebastian, I feel men’s eyes on me. Oaklee did good work. I stand taller, feeling sexy as I let my hips sway back and forth. My boobs are playing peek a boo with the bottom of my shirt, and my red lips and overdone hair scream fuck me. And that’s exactly what I want—to fuck Sebastian. I’m not looking for a date. I’m definitely not looking for a husband—just one night of passion.

  Sebastian doesn’t notice me approach. That’s okay. I like it better this way. It gives me a moment to study him and decide my opening line. I don’t want to make a fool of myself again and do something stupid like spill his drink all over him again.

  “I think she might be pregnant,” Shepherd says.

  “Who? You mean Millie?” Sebastian asks.

  Just then, Shepherd notices me approaching the group. “Um…hi, Millie.”

  But it’s not Shepherd I’m pissed at. I turn my anger at Sebastian, who is now eyeing me up and down, obviously noticing the changes Oaklee made. He doesn’t drag his eyes up and down slowly like I had hoped. His eyes race like he’s trying to find the next bumble I made—assuming I did something stupid or clumsy, not like this look is sexy and intentional.

  “Millie, uh…” Sebastian grips his neck as he stares at me.

  “Why do you think I’m pregnant?” I ask.

  Sebastian doesn’t hide his glance. He stares straight at my bare stomach. A stomach that protrudes just a little over my jeans, but apparently enough to make me look pregnant.

  “You’re unbelievable. You know what, I thought…never mind. You are a disgusting pig who only finds women who are model thin attractive. You wouldn’t know what to do with a real woman like me anyway!”

  He blinks at me rapidly, like he doesn’t understand a word I’m saying, which is fine by me. I’m glad I found out what kind of ass Sebastian is before I slept with him. I’ve sworn off assholes, even hot assholes. I’ve been down that road before, and it almost killed me. I’ve done too much work on myself to let a jerk like him call me fat. I’m out of here.

  3

  Sebastian
/>   I fucked up. I’m an asshole, but I’m not usually so cruel.

  I adjust my tie as I stand uncomfortably in my suit, leaning against the door of the groom’s room where we are getting ready in the small chapel, hoping that Millie walks by and I can talk to her before the wedding.

  “Shut the door, Sebastian. Oaklee will kill me if I get a glance of her before the wedding,” Boden says.

  I sigh and wait one more second before closing the door and leaving any hopes of talking to Millie before the wedding. I should have tracked her down last night after she stormed off with tears in her eyes; tears I caused because I was stupid. I thought she was pregnant because she wasn’t drinking, nothing else. I thought she was trying to hide her stomach beneath her baggy clothes. A statement she made abundantly false when she walked back over to me with her T-shirt ripped so high that I could see the undersides of her breasts.

  I always thought women in tight dresses were sexy, but I’m beginning to think the cut off T-shirt look is hotter. It was clear that she wasn’t pregnant, but by then, I’d already opened my big mouth and effectively called her fat.

  “Shots!” Boden says, as Shepherd begins passing out shot glasses.

  Ugh, really? I can’t even avoid alcohol during the wedding.

  I stand next to Kade, who reluctantly hands me a shot glass. A bottle of tequila is passed around, and everyone pours a shot into their glass, everyone but me.

  “To Boden,” Shepherd shouts.

  We all clink our glasses, and then everyone but me drinks their shot.

  I look at my best friend, who pours himself a second shot and takes it quickly. A man shouldn’t need to do two shots before walking down the aisle. But what would I know about it? I’m the only man here not married or about to be.

  Kade looks at me looking at Boden. He doesn’t have to speak for me to know that he agrees with me, but there is no sense in jinxing their marriage right now. Who am I to judge? If they are happy, that’s all that matters.