Make It a Double

by Sawyer Bennett

Page 31

  I stare at him, and the concern and pity in his eyes shakes me back to reality. Why would I even play with his feelings this way? To maybe test out the waters… see what others may think if they knew the truth? Can I handle the pity that would come my way? And am I ready to deal with the aftermath of opening old wounds and having the fact that I’m a dumbass of epic proportions haunt me?

  Smiling at Jimbo, but not quite meeting his eyes, I say, “Nah, man. Just messing with you. That accident is all on me. ”

  I pull the cellophane off the steaks and throw the first one on the grill. Jimbo doesn’t say anything at first, and I’m sure he’s a bit pissed I’d even go there.

  But then he shocks me. “You know… you’re always very careful with your words. You say that ‘accident was on me,’ but you don’t admit to driving the car. ”

  I throw the next steak down, listening to the hiss and sizzle permeate the air. Putting the last one on, I close the grill top. Looking at Jimbo, I can see skepticism and confusion deep in his eyes and I regret putting it there.

  Clapping him on the shoulder, I lie to his face to put his mind at ease. “I was driving the car. I did it, and I paid the price. That’s all, Jimbo. That’s all there is. ”

  He tips his head to me, acknowledging my words as truth when they are the biggest of lies. I let him believe it, and I turn to stare out at the ocean.

  “You’re a good man, Brody. I know that much is true,” Jimbo says.

  Alyssa opens up the sliding glass door and steps out on the deck. She has a glass of wine in one hand and a bottle of water for me in the other. Her smile is for me, and it chases away the gloom of my conversation with Jimbo.

  It doesn’t matter if I did it or not. Doesn’t matter if I spent time in prison. I’m appreciating the fact that my here and now is more than I ever dreamed for myself.

  ***

  “Brody, wake up. ”

  My head is fuzzy and I’m aware that Alyssa has her hand on my shoulder, shaking me.

  I immediately bolt upright, seeing that the clock says it’s a little after one in the morning. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing,” she assures me, sitting up in bed. The moonlight coming through the windows glows pale blue on her skin. “I want to sleep outside. ”

  “What?” I ask groggily as I scrub my hands over my face. I was dead asleep when she woke me up, and my brain isn’t processing fully.

  “I want to go sleep outside. On the deck. ”

  “Why?” I ask, because this just doesn’t make sense.

  “Because it’s fun, I’m wide awake, and I want to lay under the stars with you. ”

  Yeah, I’m still befuddled but those words penetrate. Grabbing her behind the head, I pull her to me and kiss her softly. “Okay. Let’s go lay under the stars. ”

  We make four trips out to her back deck, pulling every blanket and comforter off every bed and out of every linen closet we can find in her house to make a downy sleeping surface for us. It’s warm, balmy, and the ocean breeze feels fantastic.

  There’s nothing to illuminate the night around us other than the moon, which is only at a quarter full. The stars are hanging low and Alyssa and I lay on our backs, side by side, and stare at them. She moves her hand slightly, twining her fingers through mine.

  “Have you ever wished on a shooting star?” she asks.

  “Never seen one,” I tell her. “You?”

  “Never seen one either. You know, Casey, Gabby, and I would do this… sleep out on the deck. But we were always more interested in gossiping or telling stories. We never took the time to look at the stars. ”

  “I’m glad you’re taking the time with me now. This will be our thing. ”

  “I like that… our thing,” she repeats, and I can hear the smile in her voice even though I can’t see it. My eyes search the heavens for some sign of a star streaking across the night sky, but even if I don’t see one, this will go down as one of my favorite things I’ve done with Alyssa.

  “Brody?”

  “What’s up?”

  “If you could change one thing in your life, what would it be?”

  It’s a deep question with a million possible answers. Some are more obvious than others are. But one stands out as being the best.

  Rolling to my side, I prop myself up on my elbow so I can look at her. The glow from the moon is enough that I can see her features clearly, and I marvel how she makes me lose my breath just from the beauty of her face.

  “If I could change one thing about my life?”

  Nodding at me, she turns on her side so we’re facing. She tucks her arm up under her head, lays her head on it, and waits for my answer.

  “If I could change one thing, I’d wish that I had kissed you long ago. Maybe snuck one in when you were seventeen and innocent. ”

  Her eyebrows spring upward in surprise. I know that’s not what she was expecting me to say. I know she was expecting me to say I wished I had not said I was driving the car that night.

  But I’ve learned to dream bigger than that.

  “Yes. I wish I’d kissed you when you were seventeen,” I tell her as I lie back down on my back, and pull her into my arms. I position her so her head is laying on my chest and her legs are twined with mine… it’s become my favorite position. “Because if I would have kissed you back then… I would have been done. It would have only been you. I never would have met Stacy, and I never would have been in that accident. It would have only been you. I know this… after one kiss, and my life would not have been as painful. It would have been amazing. ”

  Alyssa sucks in a breath and it’s quavering, so I know she’s swimming in emotion. “Yeah… but we could have been in that car accident together. Fate still could have made that happen. ”

  I lean my head down and kiss the top of her head. “True,” I tell her. “But the difference is you would have never asked me to take the fall for you. You never would have sacrificed me. ”

  She gives a nervous laugh. “You make me sound like a saint. That is so not me. ”

  “It is,” I tell her with conviction. “You’re about as close as one can get in my book. ”

  “You’re blinded by lust or something,” she jokes, and I can tell this is her way to deflect the focus off her.

  “Or something,” I agree, and I leave it at that.

  We’re both quiet as we lay there, my eyes trained on the night sky while Alyssa’s body lies securely in my arms. I continue to search for a shooting star, but I never see one.

  Doesn’t matter… I have no need of wishes.

  Chapter 24

  Alyssa

  “Savannah called me this weekend. Asked if I wanted to move in with her,” Casey says as she chomps on her bacon. She keeps eyeing my sausage, but she knows she’s not fast enough to take it without getting slapped.

  “I mentioned it to her when she was at The Haven last week. I think it’s a good idea,” I tell her.

  “I do too,” Gabby says. “Savannah was an excellent roommate, although she was hardly ever there. Between her regular job, working with that sleaze bag photographer, and volunteering with Alyssa, I’m not even sure when she sleeps. ”

  “I think I’m going to do it. I’ve had three months of solid income from my commissions and have saved pretty much all of it. I mean, if I tank as a realtor, worst-case scenario is I just move back in with Mom and Dad. ”

  “Just let us know when you’re ready to move, and we’ll help,” I assure her. “I’ll volunteer Brody’s muscles. ”

  Casey giggles. “That’s hilarious. ”

  “What?” I ask with confusion.

  “You volunteering Brody… like he’s yours to command. ”

  “He is mine,” I tell her with a devilish grin. “Maybe not to command, but mine all the same. ”

  “You’re f**king adorable. ” Casey grins, and Gabby starts laughing.

  But then
I see the smile slide off Gabby’s face, and I turn to see what she’s looking at.

  Walking through the door of The Sand Shark is none other than Stacy Hutchens. She’s with another woman about her age. Both of them are dressed head to toe in designer clothes. Stacy is laughing at something the other woman says, and it pisses me off that she’s laughing at all. She should be leading a miserable existence because it’s no less than she deserves.

  Standing up from the table, I start to walk toward her. Casey reaches out and grabs my arm.

  “What are you doing?” she hisses.

  Turning to look at Casey, I say calmly, “I’m going to have a little chat with Stacy. ”

  “That’s probably not a good idea,” Gabby says carefully. “You look like you’re going to kill her. ”

  “Besides,” Casey adds with a squeeze to my arm. “She’s not bothered Brody again. I think she’s going to stay away. ”

  Pulling my arm gently from Casey’s grasp, I give her a reassuring look. “I’m just going to ensure that’s the case. ”

  “I’ll come with you,” Casey says.

  “No. Let me talk to her privately. I promise it will be peaceable. ”

  Casey shoots Gabby a worried look, but then she shrugs her shoulders. “Okay. But I’ll bail you out of jail if things get out of hand. ”

  Giving them both a grin, I turn and head toward Stacy, who has now taken a booth nearer to the door. When I reach the table, she looks up at me with a pleasant smile on her face, but when she recognizes who I am, it slides a little.

  “Oh, hey,” she says hesitantly. “Alyssa, right? From that dog pound place?”

  “It’s a no-kill animal shelter, but yes, you remember me?”

  “Sure. It’s nice to see you,” she says brightly, but I can tell I make her uneasy. I have a tie to Brody, and she’s not quite sure what it is other than I run the shelter where he works.

  “I’d like to talk to you, if you don’t mind. ” I pin her with my stare, and she swallows hard.

  Good. I make her nervous.

  “I’m sorry,” she says without a hint of apology. “I’m here with a friend of mine. So maybe we could get together later. ”

  Yeah, that’s not going to work for me.

  “Stacy… I know about your secret with Brody, and I want to talk to you about it. Now, we can do it here, in front of your friend, or we can talk privately. But I’m going to start talking in about ten seconds, so make your choice. ”

  I can’t help but savor the way Stacy’s face goes chalk white, but she doesn’t hesitate for even a moment. Sliding out of the booth, she looks down at her companion. “I’m sorry. I need to handle this, but I’ll be back in a few minutes if you want to order me some coffee. ”

  Stacy doesn’t even look at me as she walks past, straight out the door. I follow her, because I don’t care where we talk… but we’re going to talk. She leads me out into the parking lot and several yards away from the building.

  Doing a quick glance around to ensure we won’t be overheard, she levels a glare at me and hisses. “What the f**k is your game?”

  “No game,” I tell her sincerely. “I know that you were driving the car that night. ”

  “Brody would have never told you that,” she hypothesizes. Weirdly, she seems to be incensed on his behalf that I might insinuate that.

  “No, he wouldn’t have. I overheard you two that day at The Haven. ”

  Flames leap in her eyes, and she steps toward me with teeth bared. “If you so much as breathe one word of this preposterous allegation, I will ruin you. ”

  “Save it, Blondie,” I tell her with annoyance. “You can act innocent and affronted all you want and you can threaten me until you’re blue in the face, but it doesn’t change the message I’m getting ready to deliver to you. ”