Chaos

by Iris Johansen

  “Good. But I still don’t want you to have to face it alone.” She took her hand. “So shut up and just let me do this. I’ve been scared to death all this time and all I want is to surround you with all the comfort and love I can. Is that too much to ask?”

  “That’s not too much,” she said huskily. Warmth. Love. Togetherness. Her hand tightened affectionately on Alisa’s. “As long as you don’t get sappy about it.”

  * * *

  Alisa shook her head as she watched Sasha going over Chaos and Nightshade with fastidious care. She hadn’t even looked at Masenak’s battered body after she’d entered the woods. She’d just gone directly to Chaos and stroked him and murmured to him before she’d started to examine him.

  “She seems to be in good enough shape.” Korgan had come to stand beside Alisa, his gaze on Sasha. He grimaced. “Much better than Masenak. Chaos was very thorough. Not a hell of a lot left of him that’s not broken or shredded.”

  “Sasha used the word ‘stomp.’”

  “Very good description. Chaos didn’t cut the head off that particular snake, but he came very close. Gilroy will be disappointed that he didn’t get his chance at him. He hated the son of a bitch.” He paused. “And Gilroy just called, and he’s heard from Vogel. Jubaldar is a madhouse with no one in charge. He and Novak are going to take advantage by hitting the castle in the next thirty minutes. I’m going to take half the men we have here and join them.”

  She straightened. “Great. I’ll be with you as soon as I get Sasha settled.”

  “No, you will not. We don’t need you. I’ve put Gilroy in command of the rest of the team we’re leaving here and told him to keep you and Sasha with him until we wrap it up.” He touched the cut on her head. “You’ve both seen enough action today.”

  “Bullshit. I’m okay. You don’t know what you’ll find over there. You might need—”

  He interrupted. “From the damage report after the drone attacks, you might just be standing around.” His glance shifted to Sasha. “And do you think she’d let you leave without her? She’s gone through hell today.”

  Yes, she had. And Korgan was right, Sasha wouldn’t be left behind. But Alisa didn’t like the idea that she wasn’t needed. The knowledge made her feel flat and purposeless after all that had gone before.

  Then the realization hit her. Of course she wasn’t needed. Not thirty minutes from now at Jubaldar. Not tomorrow or the next day. Not next month. It was over. Sasha was safe. Masenak and Reardon were dead. Everything that Korgan had promised, all the revenge and justice he’d been working toward all these years, had now been accomplished. Everything they’d done together, been together, was at an end. He would be leaving and going on to some other project just as she’d known he would.

  He was looking at her inquiringly. “Alisa?”

  “You’re right. You don’t need me.” She forced a smile. “It was foolish to think you would. Besides, I need to be with Sasha for a while after this. She seems tough, but sometimes the nightmares attack when you least expect them. They did with me.”

  “Did they?” He reached out and gently touched her cheek. “Then it’s good she has you standing by her.” His hand dropped away and he muttered a curse. “I should get out of here, but I have a feeling that I’ve done something that’s going to cause me trouble down the line.”

  “You haven’t done anything, and you should get out of here.” The smile never left her face. “So I’ll make the first move.” She was walking toward where Sasha was now examining Nightshade. “See you later, Korgan. Be safe.”

  She thought he muttered another curse, but when she glanced over her shoulder he was gone.

  Don’t look back again. Look forward toward Sasha, look forward to all that was new in life. Look forward to the next exciting thing she’d learn. It was right around the next corner.

  “Okay?” Sasha had stopped to look at her. “Is something wrong?”

  “No, Korgan says everything is going very well. If you hadn’t been so focused on Chaos, I would have introduced you. Maybe another time. How is Nightshade?”

  “Fine. She’s not as strong as Chaos, but that run didn’t even faze her. I think she would have flown like Pegasus if Chaos had asked her.” She paused. “I have to have her for Chaos, Alisa. But she’s a champion and belonged to Reardon and that’s going to be all kinds of trouble, isn’t it? What can I do?”

  It didn’t come as a surprise. Naturally, Sasha would want to protect Nightshade and keep her safe from all harm. “Yes, it will be a problem. So I think we’ll tap Korgan before he heads down the road and let him handle it. He likes to have all the loose ends tied up anyway.”

  “He won’t mind?”

  “He’ll think of it as a challenge.” She added, “And he’s an extraordinary man who’d like the idea of making something Reardon touched with his ugliness turn out with a happy ending.”

  “I like that,” Sasha said softly. “I knew you’d think of something.”

  “All I thought about was Korgan.” That was who everyone thought about first. And what she had told Sasha was the truth. He would solve Sasha’s problem with skill, ingenuity, and generosity, and Alisa would let him do this last thing for her. She would owe him, but she would watch and monitor him over the years and someday she’d find a way to pay the debt. “Well, now I’m thinking that we have to go find Gilroy and try to find something to eat for ourselves and these fine horses.” She took Nightshade’s reins and pulled herself into the saddle. “And then we’ll call Margaret and check on Zeus and the other horses and see if we can get details about what happened at Jubaldar.”

  * * *

  Korgan didn’t allow Gilroy to bring Alisa and Sasha back to the castle until the following morning. And then it was only to the safety area in the lower forest where Margaret had taken the horses.

  Margaret shot a wary glance at Alisa as they watched Sasha getting Nightshade and Chaos settled. “You don’t need to be here. I have plenty of help. I told Korgan that you weren’t going to like being kept out of the action going on at the castle. But you don’t even seem impatient.”

  “Because he’s just being Korgan, taking control, protecting, doing his thing. He knows you’d let me know what’s happening. You said he’d turned over complete command to Novak?”

  “As soon as they’d received all surrenders from Masenak’s forces last night. He wanted to make sure Novak was identified as the man who took down Jubaldar when he called Lakewood. A CIA victory Lakewood could release to the press.”

  “Very diplomatic. Just what he should have done.”

  “But he didn’t tell you?”

  “Why should he? We’ve always been on the same page where Novak was concerned. He was just following through. He’s quite wonderful at tying up loose ends. I have one more thing I’m going to ask him to do for Sasha, but I’ll call him later today when he’s not so busy.”

  “That never bothered you before.” Margaret’s eyes were narrowed on her face. “Why now?”

  “It wouldn’t bother me now if it was urgent, but everything has changed. Korgan has other priorities. I can wait to fit into his schedule when I’m asking a favor.” She smiled. “Doesn’t everyone?”

  “Not you.”

  “It’s a different world, I have to adjust. We both knew it would be like this once the emergency was over. You adjust and move on and you don’t look back.” She met her gaze. “And you never hold on.”

  “Bullshit. I’ve watched you hold on to Sasha since the minute you saw her.”

  “And you, but that’s different. You’re my world. I’m allowed.” She shrugged. “Anything else gets complicated. It’s better to stick to the rules.”

  “I don’t believe Korgan recognizes any rules. It’s one of the things you admire about him.”

  “But we’re not talking about him, we’re talking about me. And I recognize my own rules.” Though she had gotten perilously close to ignoring them this time, and Margaret knew it. But she wasn�
��t calling her on it. She was only listening and staring at her with those wise eyes that always saw too much. “It’s a good deal safer and more practical.”

  “Is it? But when have you ever cared about that when anything meant something to you?” She smiled. “And there are all kind of worlds out there and they’re all different. All the better to explore. But if you want to bury your head for the moment and catch your breath, I’ll go along. You deserve the rest.” She turned and headed for Sasha and the horses. “Though I don’t promise not to say I told you so later…”

  Epilogue

  Jubaldar Main Stable

  Three Days Later

  Why are you in the main stable? Gilroy told me that Chaos always demanded solitary splendor.”

  Sasha looked up and saw Korgan entering the open stable door and coming toward her. She instinctively stiffened warily. It was the first time she’d seen him since the canyon, though his appearance was not unexpected. “I haven’t seen Gilroy for a couple of days. Things change.” She put aside the bridle she’d been working on, laying it on the bale of hay on which she was sitting. “No one knows that better than you. Because you change them, don’t you?”

  “Not if the status quo is satisfactory. I just have a problem with being bored and wanting to tweak it a bit.” He held out his hand. “We’ve never officially met, have we, Sasha? I’m Gabe Korgan, and I hope we’ll become good friends. Though I feel as if I know you very well right now. Alisa has been singing your praises since the first day we met.”

  She slowly reached out and shook his hand. She hesitated only an instant before she said bluntly, “Well, I don’t feel as if I know you. I guess I’m supposed to be grateful you’re going to help me get Nightshade, but you don’t have to. I’ll find a way to do it myself. All you have to do is say no.”

  He raised his brows. “Anyone would tell you I’m very good at saying no if I want to. When Alisa mentioned Nightshade, I liked the idea for a number of reasons.” He was studying her expression. “But I believe I’m seeing a hint of belligerence that reminds me of Alisa. Why would you think I’d want to back out?”

  “Alisa doesn’t talk about you any longer,” she said curtly. “Not since the canyon. Even before all that nightmare happened at St. Eldon’s, she’d sometimes mention something you’d invented or what you’d said at some scientific meeting. I could tell she agreed with you most of the time. And afterward, whenever I’d talk to her on the phone at the stable, I’d hear about Korgan doing this and Korgan doing that, but once I was safe and Jubaldar secure, there was nothing. She just changes the subject. Did you do something bad to hurt her?”

  He sighed. “You’re on the attack. I might have waited too long for this meeting. No, I’ve tried never to do anything bad to Alisa, but she’s a difficult woman. She doesn’t accept good intentions unless they come with a written schematic in nine languages. You and Margaret are the only ones she trusts unconditionally.”

  She stared him in the eye. “And should she trust you?”

  He smiled. “Oh, yes. To hell and back. I’ll always be there for her.”

  “Then why is she angry with you now? Alisa is smart and an excellent judge of character. She doesn’t make mistakes.”

  “No, she doesn’t. But she sometimes tries so hard to avoid mistakes that she overcomplicates when she should just accept the simple explanation. Have you noticed that about her?”

  She frowned but nodded. “Sometimes.”

  “Good. Then we’re on the same page?”

  She shook her head. “She doesn’t talk about you.”

  He made a face. “I thought that was going to be hard to get around. My fault. I was so busy making other plans and arrangements after I turned Jubaldar over to Novak that I let Alisa have time to think.”

  “She’s always thinking,” she said coldly. “Now you’re insulting her?”

  He sighed. “No, just getting into more trouble. I expected to walk a tightrope with the two of you. What I meant is that I thought it would be a good thing if I left you alone together for a while after what you’ve both been going through. I didn’t realize it would be a signal for her to draw inside herself and close me out. Though I should have, if I’d thought about it.”

  “Then it seems you’re not as intelligent as Alisa. As I said, she’s always thinking.”

  “Ouch.” Then he grinned. “You don’t have to defend her. I’m on your side. I’m not usually this clumsy. I’m screwing up because I want to impress you. But I should have known that you wouldn’t be swayed.”

  That smile was incredibly appealing, and she felt her resistance fading. “I suppose a lot of people would be swayed by you. Why did you come here today?”

  “I told you, to impress you.” He was looking around the stable again. “And I’m curious. You didn’t answer me. Why did you move Chaos and Nightshade into the main stable?”

  She shrugged. “It was more sociable. Chaos needs to be around other horses so that all that kingly arrogance will be tempered a bit. So I suggested that Nightshade would be happier and learn more quickly if they both came here. Chaos is tolerating it.”

  “Suggested?” he repeated softly.

  She met his gaze challengingly. “Suggested. Do you have any questions?”

  “Not one. But I do have a suggestion myself. I’d try to make an effort to get all the horses in this stable as familiar and comfortable with each other as soon as possible in the next two weeks before you start to move them.”

  She stiffened. “Move them? I haven’t been thinking about moving my horses yet.”

  “No, that’s why I wanted you and Alisa to spend these few days together before you got down to work. You won’t have much time once you reach Colorado.”

  “Colorado,” she repeated. “What are you talking about?”

  “You’ll love Colorado. It’s fantastically beautiful. Though sometimes it can be colder than your horses are accustomed to. But you’ll get used to it because you’re going to find the space and freedom worth it.”

  She frowned. “Why should I go to Colorado?”

  “Why not? You can’t stay here. After it’s repaired, I’ve been thinking about arranging to give Jubaldar to the citizens of Samlir in payment for their cooperation. You could go back to St. Eldon’s, but that would have sad memories and there wouldn’t be enough room for what I’ve planned.”

  “You’ve planned?” She was beginning to feel indignant. “What do you have to do with me or my horses?”

  “Nothing. If you want to turn me down. But you should really hear me out before you do. I think I might be offering you a deal you can’t refuse.”

  “How can I turn you down when all you’re doing is talking nonsense?” she asked in frustration. “You’re not really saying anything. You remind me of Gilroy.”

  He chuckled. “Then I’d better clarify immediately. That comparison frightens me more than you can dream. We’re not only taking your horses to Colorado, but bringing along every horse in this stable. That will be a total of thirty-two—which isn’t overwhelming for a horse farm, since I’ll be giving you plenty of help. I thought we’d ask Margaret and Gilroy to go with you for a while until you finish setting it up. It will give you time to become accustomed to running the business as well as the humanitarian side before you expand. You’ll have to work hard because Alisa is going to want you to have a tutor to finish your education, and you’ll have to spend a lot of time getting ready for the Niseans.”

  Her eyes widened and she lost her breath. “Niseans?”

  “Didn’t I mention I own an obscene amount of acreage in Colorado and Wyoming? It’s a shame to let it go to waste. I thought you might want to go back to those nomads who sold Chaos’s mother to Rossi and see if we can persuade them to sell us as many horses as they’ll let go. Perhaps we can strike a deal for the entire herd if I can talk the chief into sending some of his people to care for them and ensure their traditions will be preserved. I’ve been told that when I’m motivated
, I can be very persuasive.”

  “I believe it,” she said weakly. “Are you motivated?”

  He smiled and said softly, “I couldn’t be more motivated.”

  “Why?” She moistened her lips. “Why would you do this for me. Alisa? It won’t matter to her. I wouldn’t let it matter to her.”

  “Neither would I. Some of it is Alisa, because if you’re happy, she’ll be happy. Some of it is me, because I can do it, and I like the idea of telling those authorities who say those beautiful horses are extinct that they haven’t seen anything yet.” He glanced at Nightshade in the stall in front of him. “And some of it is that from listening to what Alisa told me about you, I’m betting that once you’re settled, it’s going to be just the tip of the iceberg for you. What you saw happening to Nightshade that night changed you, defined you. You’re not going to be satisfied, are you?”

  How had he known? She shook her head, stunned. “No,” she whispered. “How can I be?”

  “‘Destroy the monsters. Protect the innocents,’” he quoted, his glance shifting back to her. “That’s what you told Alisa. Now you can’t do anything else.”

  “No,” she said unsteadily. “The cruelty has to stop.”

  He got to his feet. “We have a zillion humane protective organizations for animals around the world. But I think they could do a better job.” He grinned down at her. “I think we could do a hell of a lot better. We’ve just got to figure out how to go the whole distance. So many so-called do-gooders stop before they get there.” He headed for the door. “Keep that in the mind while you’re setting up the horse farm in Colorado. Something might occur to you.”

  She stared dazedly after him, trying to catch her breath.

  Niseans.

  Horse farms.

  Protecting the innocents.

  Go the whole distance.

  What was the whole distance for Korgan?