The Haunting of Josiah Kash

by Dana Pratola

  “Are you supposed to be tackling people? Did you clear it with the doc?”

  I gave him a snort. “She should be done soon. You should go.”

  I got the takeout off the front seat, bringing it to the kitchen before coming back to the stairs. This time I was met with quiet from the bathroom.

  “Brenna?” I called out.

  “Josiah!” Her immediate reply carried on a wave of relief from inside the bathroom. The door flew open releasing a shaft of light and a cloud of scented steam. She flipped on the hall light and came to the top of the staircase.

  My mind kind of winked out. Not from the sudden burst of light or because she wore only a towel, but because this was my first time seeing her. She was pretty. Very pretty. Her hair was wet, but it was dark. And her eyes … gray, like she’d said. Her smile…. She hadn’t told me her smile could be felt ten feet away. But then, how could she know?

  “I heard the door. I’m glad it’s you,” she breathed. Her voice drew me back. “I don’t know what I would have done if it wasn’t.”

  I didn’t want to think about that. I kept my eyes fixed on a spot just over her head, trying so hard not to return to her face to scrutinize every minute detail. There would be time for that later.

  “I’m sorry I scared you.”

  She shrugged a bare, toned shoulder. A little gesture I would have missed just yesterday. “No harm done.”

  Her lips softened into a gentle bow once again, then kept drawing back until her smile radiated like the sun breaking through cloud cover, and I again struggled not to look at her full on and bask in it. Suddenly, the beam of light faltered, to be hidden again behind a cloud of confusion.

  “You’re covered in dirt,” she said, coming down toward me.

  “Yeah, I, uh … fell. Outside.”

  “Oh no! Are you all right?”

  Her concern was so heart-warming I had to smile. “Fine. Wasn’t watching where I was going.”

  She nearly laughed, then finally did. “Are you trying to be funny?”

  “Might as well.”

  She sniffed, then crinkled her nose. “Are you wearing cologne?”

  “Uh, no, I just bumped into someone. He smelled pretty bad.”

  “You smell like Wally.”

  “Wally?” I asked, feigning cluelessness. “Oh, yeah, the bicycle guy. May have been him, I don’t know.”

  She paused, looking me over, then glanced down at herself. “I should … I just got out of the shower….”

  “Oh. Okay, go do what you have to. I brought food. Hope you like pizza. Or wings. I got both.”

  Her eyes twinkled. “Meet you in the kitchen.”

  CHAPTER 18

  We talked a little over dinner, me glossing over the reason for my trip to the ranch, her making the barest reference to Wally dropping in on her at work. Her voice remained steady, but I saw the annoyance on her face and I couldn’t help being glad he’d have an ache or two to remind him to stay away from my—Brenna.

  She dropped a chicken bone onto her plate. “Can I ask you something?”

  I’d been watching/pretending not to watch her with pure fascination as she turned the wing round and round, nibbling every tidbit of meat from the bone, leaving behind the veins and tendons, what she termed the gross stuff. It took her a few minutes per piece, and was worth each second seeing that tiny line crease between her brows as she inspected it for remnants before moving onto the next. Now I had to focus on her words instead of her mouth.

  “Sure.” She looked up at me and I held my breath trying so hard not to look her directly in those gray eyes—dove gray, I saw now. “What’s up?”

  “Would you mind if I cleaned up around here?”

  I blinked. “What?”

  “I know you don’t want Ben to know I’m here, so that’s why I’m asking. I wouldn’t have to clean anything you wouldn’t ordinarily….” She stopped herself and waved the idea away. “Never mind, it’s silly. You’re a guy, you probably wouldn’t ordinarily clean anything.”

  I stared at her forehead, feigning insult. “That’s a sexist thing to say, isn’t it?”

  Her expression went serious. “Uh—”

  “Assuming because I’m a guy I don’t mind being dirty.”

  “I’m sorry, I—”

  “Or is it because I’m a cowboy?”

  “Josiah, I—”

  “Yeah, I step in my share of horse manure on any given day, sure….” I couldn’t keep it going. She looked so miserable at having wounded me, I felt awful and nearly reached for her. “Brenna, I’m kidding.” Her bottom lip stiffened. I had to chuckle to let her in on the joke. “Really, I’m kidding.”

  Confusion soon gave way to understanding and her smile returned. “You’re terrible!” She swatted at me with a napkin.

  I chuckled. “I do have a sense of humor, you know.” I’d forgotten that myself. Seemed a long time since I had anything to laugh about. Far too long.

  “Good to know,” she said.

  “But seriously, if you want to clean up, go ahead.”

  She tilted her head. “Now that I think of it I don’t…. Never mind.”

  “What?”

  “Well you won’t be here long anyway, right?” she asked.

  That fickle bow of the lips fled once again and it looked like she was working up to saying something.

  “I don’t know. Why?”

  “Well, you’ve been home, kind of like an ice-breaker. Why would you want to stay here?”

  Its proximity to the hospital wasn’t a factor and would only worry her, and I certainly couldn’t tell her the truth, that I wanted to watch over her. “I have my reasons.”

  She gave me an odd look and leveled her palms on the table. “And anyway, I won’t be. I’ll be moving into a place.”

  To say my heart sank to my knees was the most accurate description I had. “Where? When?”

  She got up to carry her paper plate to the trash can. “I don’t have a place yet, but I finally have enough in my account to rent something. A room somewhere, if not a whole apartment.”

  Her face froze when she looked at me again and I realized I’d been staring. I shifted my focus. “That’s … that’s great, Brenna.”

  Why did I feel like it wasn’t? I hadn’t known her five full days, had only started speaking to her yesterday, yet I was already mourning the loss of … whatever this was between us.

  “I don’t want you to think I’m abandoning you,” she said, maybe reading my expression.

  “No, of course not.”

  “It’s not like I won’t see you again. If you want to. I’d love to see you….”

  I nodded, more reassurance for her, though the action helped quell my resistance a little. I didn’t expect her to stay in this rat-trap, but I hadn’t been ready for this news. It must be ego. I had already come to think of myself as her protector in a way, and it turned out she didn’t need protecting. She really was an independent woman.

  “I’m not losing touch with you.” No. Definitely not. “In fact, I have a proposition for you.”

  One of her eyebrows lifted slowly. “What kind of proposition?”

  “You sound suspicious.”

  “Just curious.”

  I wasn’t sure about that. Well, here goes. “I have a big place,” I began. “A very big place. Why not come home with me?”

  Even staring at a space behind her, I saw her eyes widen. “What?”

  Yeah, judging by that look, it wasn’t curiosity.

  “I can’t … I’m—”

  “I don’t mean with me,” I hurried. “I mean to the ranch. With other people. Me and other people,” I amended, feeling sillier with each sentence. I wasn’t proposing, for crying out loud, just asking her to come live with me.

  “I … um … I don’t know what to say.”

  “Say yes.” I held my hands up. “I’m not trying anything, Brenna I promise.”

  “I know,” she answered quickly. Then she let out a
little sigh. “I know.”

  Pity? Relief? Neither her voice nor expression made clear which, but I would take whichever one impelled her to my place.

  “I think it’s best. You can’t stay here,” I told her, making it up as I went. “It’s getting colder, the heat and electric will be shut off after I leave. I could have them leave it on for you—”

  “No, I’m not asking you to do that.”

  “And I don’t want to,” I said. “Because it may be just a matter of time before someone figures out you’re here alone. A beautiful girl, alone,” I said, adding extra weight to those final words.

  She didn’t ask how I knew she was beautiful, but her mouth curved into a gentle arch as she started clearing the table. “I appreciate your wanting to look out for me.”

  The ensuing pause stretched long enough that I was forced to ask, “But?”

  “No but,” she said, reaching across the table, laying a hand over mine. “Just … other than Eliza and my mom, I don’t remember anyone looking out.”

  I turned my palm up and rested the other atop hers, sandwiching it in between. “Please. Let me help you.”

  My eyes scanned her face, pausing only long enough to see a jumble of emotions there. Confusion, happiness, back to confusion. Finally, she dropped her gaze to the table and lifted her left shoulder in a quick movement.

  “I’ll give you what I have—”

  “I don’t want anything,” I said.

  “Then no deal.”

  I took a big, relieved breath. I wasn’t going to leave her behind over some silly pride thing. “Okay, whatever. We can talk about rent later.”

  “No, not later. You’ll try to make me forget it,” she said.

  She knew me already. I squeezed her hand, releasing it so as not to come off predatory. “All right. How much have you got?”

  She told me the amount and tilted her head, pleased with herself. She should be, it was quite a sum. She’d had to be diligent and thrifty to save that much. I offered her the cabin for half of what she would pay going into a rented place somewhere else, and though she argued, finally agreed.

  “If you want to work for me the cabin comes with the job, free of charge,” I said. It had come with Brew’s job. Tracy had stayed with me. “Plus salary, obviously.”

  “I have a job.”

  “I know, I’m just saying if you want to consider a career change you don’t even have to commute.”

  “And retire my bike?” She giggled. When I didn’t, she quirked her lips to the side. “What would I have to do?”

  “It’s mostly public relations, making calls, dealing with people person to person when they come, running the website—do you know anything about websites?”

  “Nothing I can’t learn, I guess.”

  “Great. There are other things, too. Pitching in as needed.”

  I ran down a list of responsibilities, watching her reactions furtively. She crinkled her nose a little over occasionally mucking out stalls, but she’d had experience at her grandparent’s place, and otherwise looked interested.

  “I’ll think about it,” she said, finally.

  “Will you?”

  “Yes, I will.” She nodded, not knowing I could see. “I will.”

  “Great. I need someone quick and the cabin is just sitting there empty.”

  “If I decide to take the job, I still have to give two weeks’ notice at the cleaners,” she said.

  The spark in her voice sounded to me like excitement, like she’d already decided and was looking forward to the possibility, but not letting on.

  “Of course, of course,” I said, trying to cinch the deal. “But understand, the offer to move to the cabin is open either way. While you’re there, you can save up more to skip the room and go straight into a nice place. A whole apartment. If you decide to move on.”

  She took in a little breath and smirked. “It’s a very generous offer, Josiah. I don’t get why you’re being so nice to me, though. You don’t even know me.”

  Telling the whole truth, that I possessed an unquestionable attachment to her, would just be foolish on my part and doubtless scare her off, so I told her the part that made sense in the moment.

  “I feel like I know all I need to. You helped me when I needed it and I want to return the favor.” Her mouth turned down slightly at the corners. Somehow, I’d said the wrong thing. “But not just that,” I continued. “Payback isn’t all of it. I…. I like you. I believe you’re sincere. Kind. You’re the type of person I want around me.”

  Her eyes lit then, lips forming a sweet smile. Sweet, and a little sad. “Thank you, Josiah. I like you, too.”

  Now I had to risk making her think I was out of my mind. “I know this’ll sound absolutely ridiculous … but … would you mind if we stayed here a couple more days?” Now she did look curious.

  “Sure, whatever you want,” she said.

  “It’s just that I went back today and … didn’t feel….”

  “Ready?”

  “Yeah.”

  It felt so good to be able to tell someone, to get it out. As much as I wanted it to be a pretext, it was partly true. Physically, I felt up to the task, even though the doctor warned me the bones in my skull could take six months to a year to fuse together properly, and that while I could perform most of my training duties, not to ride at more than a walk for at least a month. I could do that.

  Emotionally—and this was the part that bothered me—though I did go into the stable to see Scout, I’d busied myself all day to avoid saddling him up, creating excuses to avoid the unease.….

  But I couldn’t think about that now. That wasn’t the immediate issue. I needed at least a day to arrange things at the ranch, not just with the cabin, but to talk to the staff. I doubted Brenna would have agreed to come with me if she didn’t still believe I was blind. I couldn’t risk it.

  “I think maybe the attention was a little much,” I said. “Appreciated, though,” I added.

  “I understand completely. Take all the time you need,” Brenna said. “It isn’t like I was going anywhere before.”

  “What do you do here anyway?” I asked. “I mean before you had to worry about me finding you. You must’ve been incredibly bored.”

  “Not really.” She flipped her palms over. “Dodging you and Ben, while exciting, wasn’t something I wanted to continue. I write in my journal. Mostly I love to read.”

  “Me too. I have a bunch of books on my phone, not that I have much time for them. Sometimes I try to read a few chapters before bed, but I’m usually so exhausted I pass out a couple pages in. Now….”

  She paused; compassion etched all over her face. “Do you want me to read to you?”

  “You would do that?”

  “Oh, sure! Whenever you like. Just ask.”

  “I may.”

  CHAPTER 19

  Concentration was impossible. I mislabeled so many customer’s clothes, I thought my boss would fire me before day’s end, negating the need for me to give my notice. I wished he would, saving me that misery. Connor treated me well. He’d trained me from the start, before I knew there is no difference between Martinizing and dry-cleaning. I hoped his feelings wouldn’t be hurt by my leaving. If I left. If. I planned to try out some of the tasks at the ranch while there, to see if I could hack it before making a decision that could change everything.

  My own cabin! Wow! I didn’t know the size or what it looked like, but it would be better than the dust bin I’d been hiding out in. No more worrying someone would see me and report me, no more praying some maniac wouldn’t break in. No more not being able to eat chips for fear of crunching too loudly. No more having to eat chips! I’d have real food. Cook it and everything!

  But none of those things were the real culprits stealing my thoughts today. That distinction went to Josiah Kash. I couldn’t believe the turn of events that had brought him into my life, but I was so grateful to have him in it now, and that he’d allowed me into his.
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  Honestly, blind or not, he was the kind of hot guy a girl like me dreamed of dating, never imagining it a real possibility. Men like him were snagged by rodeo queens, prom queens, or pageant winners, not homeless nobodies people barely noticed unless they literally crashed into them.

  After dinner last night, we’d talked in the living room for an hour before he said he had to get up early because his ride was coming for him at six. We’d gone upstairs, parted ways and after brushing my teeth, I’d enjoyed the best night’s sleep I’d had since I’d been there. Even though he couldn’t see, I felt safe.

  I turned at a rap on the big picture window. Mrs. McGowan waved, passing at a speedy pace. She walked by no less than four times a day, knocking and waving each time. Sweet woman. As I waved back, I saw Wally behind her, walking in the opposite direction. He saw me and quickly turned his head.

  How odd. Good, but odd. In fact, thinking of it now, he hadn’t been in all day. Nor had he been in the bike shop window when I arrived this morning. I might be crazy, but it seemed like he was avoiding me. Could this day get any better?

  *****

  Could this day get any worse? Well, yeah, of course. The last week proved that. Ben was on his way with Paisley, but having woken today with sight, I couldn’t bring myself to roll my eyes when I thought of a fifteen-year-old girl following me around like a puppy. I just had to be grateful for my life, pass her off on someone else, and go on with my day until I returned to Brenna later on.

  Brenna was definitely an interesting girl. Smart, funny, sweet, caring. How was it possible she didn’t have a boyfriend? I caught myself wondering what kind of guy she would go for, as I dried off and stepped out of the bathroom. I hadn’t wanted to shower at the house and risk waking her before she had to get up, but I had peeked in on her sleeping, though she’d been so wrapped up I couldn’t see more than an arm from wrist to elbow.

  “Kash!” Vanessa’s voice reached me through the bedroom door before she knocked. “Kash.”

  “Come on in.”

  The door opened and closed, and a few moments later Vanessa stood in front of my bed watching me pull a long-sleeved shirt over my head.