Entered in the Alien Bride Lottery

by Margo Bond Collins

  I tried to sit down, aiming for the edge of the bed, but I almost missed—so instead, I allowed myself to slide down to the floor, still howling and laughing.

  As suddenly as it had started, though, my laughing fit stopped, and I was left with only the tears. They were quickly followed by huge, gulping sobs. Plofnid and Drindl fluttered around, trying to find ways to get me to stop crying, but I couldn’t.

  This is really happening.

  There were women this morning who had not been matched by any Khanavai warriors. They were going home tonight, back to their lives. Back to Earth.

  I wasn’t. In fact, there was a good chance I would never get to go home. Not for good, anyway.

  I had seen the Bride Games often enough to know that being matched to three of them was a bad sign. My chances of ending up permanently attached to an alien had not just tripled. No. After the matching, the odds of being mated went up exponentially.

  I was now…I did some quick math in my head…twenty-seven times more likely to end up mated to a Khanavai warrior than I had been when I set foot on this station.

  I am so fucked.

  And not in a good way.

  It took Plofnid and Drindl almost an hour to wipe away all the traces of my morning tears—and that was after I stood in the shower for as long as they’d allow.

  Now I sat in front of the camera-mirror again, this time quizzing them about the “spanking ceremony” I was going to have to endure.

  “It’s not as terrible as it sounds,” Drindl tried to reassure me, her crystalline eyes widening earnestly.

  Plofnid snorted derisively, sending its nostril-braid swinging.

  Drindl drew herself up to her full height, offended at her partner’s skepticism. “It is a mating ritual with a long history among the Khanavai.”

  “Humans don’t even spank children as punishment any longer,” I said with a scowl.

  “I should hope not!” Drindl’s cheeks turned an odd shade of gray—her version of blushing, I decided as she continued speaking. “This is a form of Khanavai foreplay. It’s not meant to punish or even as correction.”

  Foreplay? Oh, hell no.

  “It’s not often used for punishment, anyway,” Plofnid added.

  I knew it!

  “Then why do it?” I asked.

  “It’s a reminder of the bride’s position in the relationship.” Plofnid moved around to pull a brush through my hair.

  “Her position? What—ass in the air?”

  Drindl tittered at my comment, her tinkling laugh almost infectious. I couldn’t help but smile.

  “Seriously,” I continued. “There’s nothing about spanking that isn’t degrading. It’s antiquated and demeaning.”

  And maybe a little kinky, the traitorous voice inside my head added.

  I ignored it, just as Drindl and Plofnid ignored the comments I made aloud. Finally, I heaved a sigh. “Okay. What is my role in this? And how will it work with three matches?”

  “First, you’ll be meeting your matches for a luncheon. A chance to get to know one another. Then you’ll be expected to undergo the spanking ceremony with each suitor. There will, of course, be an appropriate resting period between each one.”

  “Oh, God,” I groaned. “Today is going to suck.”

  “Not at all,” Drindl assured me. “Sucking comes later in the games.”

  I whipped my head around to stare at her, and she let out the bell-peal of the belly-laugh she’d been holding in until I realized she was joking.

  Dropping my elbows to the counter in front of me, I stared at my reflection. Even knowing that I was speaking straight into the camera—and therefore to all the viewers back on Earth who were hanging on every detail of the Bride Games—I had to remind myself of my goal.

  “I am playing to lose. I will be going back home.”

  Drindl and Plofnid shot skeptical glances at each other.

  Fine. They could think whatever they wanted. I’d show them.

  When all this was over, I’d be going home again.

  No matter what my handlers believed.

  Chapter Ten

  Cav

  Luncheon with Natalie.

  I was practically salivating at the idea of it. Not of the food. Of my mate. I couldn’t wait to be close enough to her to draw in her scent again. Touch her skin. Run my fingers through her hair. My cock grew hard at the mere thought.

  But my next thought put a damper on my rising excitement. There would be two other Khanavai warriors there. Warriors who believed they might be able to lure my mate from me.

  Worthless sandworms.

  I’d show them.

  But more importantly, I’d show her—show her that she was meant to be mine, and I hers. My Natalie. My mate.

  And then the spanking ceremony. Oh, gods and goddesses, I couldn’t stop thinking about that. It was the first time that particular Khanavai tradition had ever been incorporated into the Bride Games—apparently out of respect for human sensibilities.

  But the other two Khanavai who had matched with her would be allowed to touch her. Place their hands on her.

  A growl rumbled in my throat, my ancient warrior genes bringing out my competitive side.

  “No.” I spoke the word aloud, even though there was no one else to hear me.

  The other warriors could not have her. I couldn’t allow it. Natalie Ferguson was mine, and that was all there was to it. I simply had to make sure she realized it.

  But I was beginning to realize that even if she felt the same attraction toward me that I felt for her, she wasn’t as ready to accept it as I was.

  I had to laugh at myself. After all, I had started out not wanting a mate at all. Now, I couldn’t think of anything more important to me.

  The realization froze me in place on my bed in my Grooms’ Quarters room, where I’d been flipping through the schedule of events I’d just received.

  Nothing is more important to me than winning my mate.

  Was that really true?

  It was, I realized. Even earning a place at the ops program was no longer as important to me as making sure I left the Bride Games with my mate by my side.

  A mate who didn’t want to be here at all.

  I found myself rubbing my eyes in frustration. Yes, the judges would be awarding score points during the games. But the final decision rested with the brides. They could not be forced to stay. Natalie could not be forced to stay.

  She could, however, be wooed.

  That was exactly what I am going to do. No matter what it takes.

  Before I decided on an exact course of action, though, I needed to get a better sense of my competition. I pulled up the list of matches and examined them more closely.

  Eldron Gendovi was a former commander in the military’s ground forces. His red skin tones suggested his ancestors came from the mountainous regions of Khanav Prime, and his people were known for being fierce fighters with hot tempers, quick to anger—but also quick to forgive.

  Perhaps if I could provoke him, his display of anger would frighten Natalie away from him.

  But that wouldn’t make her any more likely to turn to me.

  His position as commander also suggested that he had strong control over his emotions. He was still a relatively young man, though several years older than I was. If he tended toward violent outbursts, he wouldn’t have moved up in the ranks so quickly.

  He would be a formidable foe.

  I turned my attention to Natalie’s other potential match.

  Tiziani Mencono, a civilian guardsman from the jungle regions of the planet. Part of me wanted to dismiss him out of hand. What bride in her right mind would choose a civilian? But his people were known for their sneaky, underhanded tactics. There was no telling what he might do to gain her trust.

  In fact, the yellow-skinned Khanavai were reportedly overrepresented in the Special Ops program, their cultural training having prepared them to act as spies already.

  I wished Zont hadn
’t already headed down to the planet to begin his search for the runaway bride. It would have been nice to confer with him about Tiziani’s potential weaknesses.

  Really, though, it didn’t matter that Zont had already taken off. Tiziani wouldn’t be any easier to defeat than Eldron.

  I settled in with the computer interface, determined to see what I could dig up on my two foes before we met in battle—figuratively, at least for now—to compete for Natalie’s favor.

  When I walked into the luncheon room later, the other two Khanavai competitors had not yet arrived. I had planned that, allowing myself the chance to choose the seat at the table that gave me the best chance to command the room. I chose the one facing the door, so I would see Natalie as soon as she walked in—and more importantly, so she would see me before either of the other men.

  Of course, since the table was round, taking control of the room was more difficult than I had anticipated. I suspected this had to do with Earth traditions, since humans were more concerned with things like equality and egalitarianism. Among the Khanavai, rank mattered. Had we been battling for a Khanavai female, Commander Eldron would have been seated at the head of a table, I would be seated at the foot as the warrior with the second-highest rank, and Tiziani, as a civilian guardsman, would be seated to one side, assuming he had been allowed to participate at all.

  Then again, no Khanavai female would be seated at the table at all. Our customs had begun to change with the integration of human women into our culture. The first Khanavai Bride, Princess Ella, had insisted upon it. And Prince Khai, the warrior who had set up the Bride Agreement with Earth, had adored his mate so much that he had agreed with her.

  Oddly enough, every Khanavai warrior mated to a human female had experienced a similar shift in views. Our mating bond was too strong not to influence our behaviors. And so only the old, unmated warriors remained to insist upon the value of our heritage.

  Having met Natalie, even for only a few moments, I could see why human women held such fascination for—and sway over—their Khanavai mates. We were hardwired to ensure our mates’ happiness and well-being. If being allowed to participate in political discussions and sit at the warriors’ tables made our human mates happier, then it was a small price to pay.

  I was still pondering this shift in our culture when the other two warriors entered the room together, ushered in by one of the servants. The bride was always last to enter the luncheon, a tradition that had developed over the years since the Bride Games had begun.

  New worlds lead to new traditions. It was something my father had said to me more than once. Then again, he had been able to win one of the last fertile Khanavai women on our planet. It had been an easy thing for him to say.

  I hoped I could prove him right when I took Natalie back to Khanavai Prime with me.

  Standing to give the traditional warriors’ greeting, I held my closed fist, thumb inward toward my chest, a little longer than was customary, eyeing first the yellow Tiziani Mencono and then the red Eldron Gendovi. “Greetings,” I said to them, “and may the gods favor our endeavors on this day.”

  It was an unusual statement to make in such a circumstance, as it was generally a prayer before battle. But the other two murmured the reflexive response. “May the gods favor you, as well.”

  Tiziani’s face clouded as he realized that he’d just offered a prayer for my success, but Eldron smiled as he took a seat to my right. Tiziani sat across from him, leaving the seat immediately in front of the door available for Natalie.

  “It is a pleasure to meet you.” Eldron nodded at us both, then turned to me. “I have learned many good things about you today.”

  “And I you.”

  Thus we established our ability to take our opponents’ measure. Having watched the Bride Games televised over many years, I knew that Vos and his team of commentators would be discussing the social undercurrents in the room as we waited for the bride to arrive.

  Unwilling to appear rude, I turned to include Tiziani in the conversation. “I understand you are a member of the civilian guard?”

  “I am a retainer to the southern continent’s Royal Residence and am responsible for the prince’s safety when he is there.” I managed not to roll my eyes. Not that Tiziani’s job wasn’t important. But given the war with the Alveron Horde, the current prince rarely traveled outside the capitol, and when he did, a retinue of military guards traveled with him. Tiziani was trying too hard to overcome the deficit that came of holding a lower position than either of ours. He would have done better to simply acknowledge that he was a guardsman.

  He would lose points with the judges for that.

  Good.

  I glanced at the commander out of the corner of my eye, but he simply nodded politely at Tiziani’s statement, almost certainly gaining style points.

  Less good.

  But so be it. I opened my mouth to speak again, but the door opened and the two people who had been appointed Natalie’s guides—a Poltien and a Blordl—opened the door. The Blordl announced in her trilling voice, “Here comes the bride,” a phrase lifted from Earth mating rituals and used to introduce contestants whenever a new game began.

  The three grooms stood, waiting for Natalie.

  My breath caught in my chest. She was absolutely breathtaking, in the truest sense of the word. Sweeping in past her two assistants, she gazed around the room without speaking, then moved to pull her chair out. Her scent wafted to me, and my cock hardened at the mere smell of her.

  Beside me, Commander Eldron inhaled deeply, then frowned.

  That was impolite. He might lose the style points he had gained.

  Then he stepped forward and took Natalie’s hands in his own. She jerked as if trying to pull away from him, then froze, her eyes wide as she gazed up at him.

  Gravitiniax Goat Suckers. I hadn’t even considered that by positioning myself across from her, I had limited my ability to reach out and touch her.

  “My dear,” the commander said, bowing over her hands. “I am very sorry, but I’m afraid I have some bad news.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Natalie

  Bad news? Oh, God. What is he talking about?

  I froze and stared at the cherry-red man with the dark hair bending over my hands. I was terrified of what he might say. That he had decided he was going to take me right there on the table? Or kidnap me? Whisk me away to his planet, never to be heard from again?

  No. That was ridiculous. Some part of me knew it was silly, but I couldn’t help worrying over every exchange at this luncheon. I glanced at the other two men.

  Dammit. I couldn’t even remember anyone’s name, other than Cav’s.

  The red guy was something with an E. Edward? Edmund? No. Something alien. Shit. Eddie. Red dude Eddie. I’d just call him Red Eddie. In my head, at least.

  The yellow guy was…Banana-Man. That’s all I could think of.

  Banana-Man was glaring at Red Eddie—or whatever his name was.

  Cav, on the other hand, was watching me for my reaction. And as soon as I realized it, I calmed down. My heart fluttered in my chest a little. Somehow I knew that if Red Eddie got carried away, Cav would jump in and save me.

  Suddenly, I was able to catch my breath. “What is it you need to tell me?”

  Red Eddie’s voice dropped, sounding sad. “I’m afraid the synthesized chemical composition of your scent-markers did not do you justice.”

  Synthesized scent-markers? What the hell was he talking about? I glanced at Cav, hoping he would help me, but he had begun frowning, and now his gaze flickered between me and Red Eddie.

  I really should have paid more attention to the details of previous Bride Games.

  “You are very lovely,” Red Eddie continued. “But I’m afraid I must tell you that we are not a match, after all.”

  “We’re not a match?”

  Red Eddie met my gaze sadly and shook his head. “I fear not.”

  All of my breath left my body in a r
ush of relief, and I scrabbled at the chair next to me, grabbing the back and sinking into the seat.

  Red Eddie followed me, kneeling on one knee before me, as if he were proposing.

  Actually, this is an anti-proposal. Thank goodness.

  One down, two to go.

  “I do hope I have not distressed you too much, Miss Natalie,” Red Eddie continued, using my first name as was considered polite in Khanavai culture.

  “No,” I managed to say, waving one hand weakly. “Not at all. Thank you for letting me know so quickly. I appreciate not having this ordeal drawn out more.” I was rambling.

  Drindl and Plofnid jumped in to save me. “No problem,” Drindl trilled. “We’re so sorry your match didn’t work out.” She took Red Eddie by the arm and opened the door to usher him out. Plofnid stomped past me to follow them, muttering something about false matches ruining the show.

  They shut the door behind them, leaving me trapped in a room at a table with the two other aliens.

  It’s just a meal, I told myself. I’ve been on worse dates than this.

  But none where the stakes were quite this high.

  Play to lose, Natalie. Play to lose.

  The door opened again, and servers began bringing in plates of food—both Earth dishes and Khanavai delicacies.

  We’d been trading with the Khanavai long enough that some of their food had made it down to Earth, even if it was rare for the aliens themselves to visit planet-side. So at least I recognized several of the options.

  The waiters stopped to offer various portions, and I accepted a little bit of everything, including the food I had never tried before. Might as well expand my horizons while I was here.

  As long as I got to contract them all the way back to Earth when this whole Bride Games farce ended.

  All I wanted to do was eat in silence. But I knew my friends back home were watching, and I couldn’t bring myself to be rude to these two guys. It wasn’t like they were personally responsible for bringing me here. Not exactly, anyway.

  “Your information card says that you are still a student,” the yellow guy said. What the hell was his name? If I had to go back to Khanav Prime with some guy whose name I didn’t even remember and who made me think of bananas every time I looked at him, I might just decide to space myself, instead.