by Mara Wells
“Logistically, it makes sense.”
Logic shouldn’t turn her on like this, but it did. “Tell me more about these logistics.”
“The yard, the space, Fur Haven across the street. It’s ideal for the dogs. And you’re ideal for me.” Knox dropped his forehead against hers. “Please, Dani.”
Danielle looped her arms around his neck. “Until you move to Atlanta?”
“Something like that. I’m working on it.” His eyes bored into hers, and he must’ve liked something he saw there, because he smiled. “Do you trust me?”
She lifted her lips the short distance to his and kissed him, really kissed him, with all the joy crowding her body. He kissed her back, pressing her into the counter until the edge bit into her lower back, but she didn’t care.
“We’ll figure it out tomorrow. Tonight, let’s go to bed.”
Danielle followed him to the bedroom, ignoring the kettle’s whistle. It would turn itself off in a moment, and she wasn’t letting go of Knox for anything. Not tonight. And if she had her way? Not ever again. But when had she ever gotten her way? They were delaying the inevitable, and she planned to enjoy every extra minute he wrangled for them.
Chapter 35
Clouds puffed their way slowly across the clear blue sky. Danielle stepped off the Fur Haven Park elevator, letting Flurry, Luna, and Sarge off their leashes as soon as the doors cracked open. They rolled out into the park, greeting familiar dogs with a sniff and an invitation to run. Soon, they were running laps along the edge of the rooftop park, a small squad of assorted mutts trailing after them, trying to keep up.
“Girl, show us the rock.” Riley was the first of the three women gathered at the bone-shaped bench to greet her.
Danielle wiped the stupid grin off her face. She’d had a good morning. A very good morning. One could even say orgasmically good. “Sorry, what?”
“The rock? The ring?” Riley held out her hand like she was showing off an engagement ring, the diamond on her own wedding band sparkling in the sunlight. “Lance already told Carrie, and Carrie—”
“Should probably have kept her mouth shut.” Carrie held out a cup of coffee to Danielle. “But Lance could hardly believe it when Knox texted him last night.”
“Neither could Caleb. Knox has been so insistent he’s not sticking around.” Riley lifted a flask and poured a healthy measure of amber liquid into the yellow mug. “We figured we’d celebrate with you this morning. Irish coffee–style.”
“Thank you.” Danielle sipped at the doctored brew. “It’s delicious. But what are we celebrating, exactly?”
“Your engagement!” Riley laughed. “You must really need your caffeine this morning, hmmm?”
“Leave the girl alone.” Eliza sat on the bench with a newspaper pulled up on her iPad. “I think we may not have the full story.”
Danielle looked at each woman, one at a time. Their indulgent smiles. Eliza’s raised eyebrow. “What, exactly, did Knox text his brothers last night?”
“That you were moving in!” Carrie sipped her mug thoughtfully.
“I did.” Danielle poured herself another bit of Irish into her half-full mug. “For now. Until he leaves for the new job.”
“I knew it.” Eliza clucked her tongue and dabbed at her forehead with a tissue. “You all have weddings on the brain. Just because Caleb and Lance were quick to pop the question doesn’t mean Knox will. Look how long it took William to get Riley’s grandmother back.”
“Wait.” Maybe the caffeine was helping her think more clearly. “You think Knox wants to marry me?”
Eliza shrugged one shoulder, but the other three heads nodded solemnly.
“That’s—” Danielle gulped down the last of her warm coffee, stalling for time. Likely, she had to admit, but not what she wanted to discuss. Luna nuzzled the hand dangling at her side. She placed a steadying hand on the dog’s head and took a deep breath. “Ridiculous. He’s got Atlanta, and I already told him I won’t go with him.”
And then she burst into tears.
They came out of nowhere, the tears. She’d been happy, brilliantly so, only moments ago. She’d woken in Knox’s arms, the sound of squealing puppies in the next room her alarm clock. She’d checked on them, made sure Luna and Flurry understood the dog door, and tucked herself right back into bed with Knox. He’d been awake by then, too, and they’d started their day with slow kisses and a quiet, intense kind of lovemaking Danielle had never experienced before. Everything was great. Perfect.
“Oh no, oh no.” Riley wrapped an arm around Danielle.
“I’ll text Knox.” Carrie’s thumbs were already flying on her phone.
“No!” Danielle sniffled and attempted to pull herself together. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry. We have an understanding.”
“Oh my God.” Riley’s eyes grew wider and wider. “Are you pregnant?”
Danielle felt the words like a blow to her abdomen. Her stomach physically contracted like it was taking a hit. She doubled over, sobbing so hard she wasn’t sure they could understand her denial. “No, no. It’s not possible.”
“You know.” Riley tightened her hold on Danielle. “When two people love each other very much—”
“It’s not possible. I had a hysterectomy.” She’d avoided the h-word for so long, it felt cathartic to say it. She sucked in a breath before explaining. “Endometriosis. It was bad.”
“Oh.” Riley sank down to the ground with Danielle, her hold on her shoulders firm. Soon, two greyhounds flanked them, crowding them with warmth and investigating noses. “I’m so sorry, Danielle. I didn’t know.”
“I’m sorry, too.” Carrie plopped on the ground beside them, heedless of the possible grass stains to her linen trousers. “I’ve heard it’s really painful.”
“No one knows. Well, my dad and my doctors, but no one else.” Danielle ran the back of her hand under her nose. “It’s fine. It’s just, you have to understand. Knox wants a big family. Always has. So whatever this is we’re doing, it’s temporary. I’m going to enjoy it, of course, but it won’t last. I’m glad that he’s leaving. Really. It makes it easier, knowing the expiration date, you know?”
Danielle didn’t miss the look that passed between Riley and Carrie. They didn’t believe her. But time would prove her right.
“You have to tell him.” Carrie added another shot to her Irish coffee.
Riley took the Bailey’s and topped off Danielle’s mug. “Today.”
Danielle took a long drink and nodded. “I know.”
* * *
You’re in trouble.
Lance’s text came as Knox was grabbing toast out of the toaster. He’d woken to find Danielle and the big dogs gone. Fur Haven, he’d figured, probably sipping coffee with his sisters-in-law. He knew they all enjoyed the ritual. He just didn’t want to wake up that early to join them ever again. He liked Riley and Carrie. They were good people. He could appreciate them later in the day.
I don’t actually work for you, you know.
So what if he came in a bit late today? He’d had a late night, moving all the dogs into his home and getting the puppy room set up at 1:00 a.m. Today, they’d need to go back and get Danielle’s stuff. He couldn’t wait to see Danielle’s clothes filling half the closet. She could have more than half, really. It wasn’t like his stuff took up much space. In fact, she could have all the closets in the whole house if she wanted. As far as he was concerned, whatever was his was hers now.
Lady trouble. Lance followed up his text with an emoji of a shocked face. Danielle thinks it isn’t permanent. I thought you proposed last night?
She moved in with me. Knox munched on his toast without bothering to put anything on it. A man needed sustenance for conversations like these with his brother. Especially with his brother.
She told C & R that it wasn’t permanent.
The toast dropped from Knox’s hand. Hell no. Maybe he hadn’t been specific because he owed Morales a phone call first, but he thought she’d understood. They were building a life together.
Did you say the words Will You Marry Me? Or not? The next emoji from Lance was a confused face and then a diamond ring.
Not in those exact words.
Lance filled Knox’s screen with rows of laughing faces, laughing-with-tears faces, rolling and laughing faces. Better get to it then.
Knox stared at the toast on his kitchen floor, thinking how if Danielle were here with the dogs, that bread would be long gone. I need a ring.
Forget about that. You need to talk to Danielle ASAP. And that’s an order.
Knox shoved his phone in his pocket. Brothers were a pain in the ass. But that didn’t mean Lance was wrong. Still, he’d made a commitment to Morales. He owed the man a call. Shit.
“Ready to shake the sand off your feet and get to work?” Morales’ cheerful voice boomed in his ear. “You rolling in early or what?”
“About that.” Knox rammed shoes on his feet, phone balanced between his ear and shoulder. “I’m gonna need more time.”
Morales was silent long enough that Knox checked his bars and hit speaker. A thunk on Morales’ end sounded like he’d set something down, hard. “Thought you might say that. Look, I’ve been patient. How many times have you changed your arrival date now? Twice? Three times? I’ve lost count. Makes a man think you might not want the job after all. You backing out on me, Gunny?”
“Now’s not the best time.” Knox tightened his brace and grabbed his keys, his mind so full of Danielle he couldn’t handle Morales right now. “Can I call you later?”
Morales cleared his throat. “I’ve got a business to run here, and if you’re not gonna come through, you need to tell me now.”
“I don’t want to let you down, but I can’t live in Atlanta.” Knox didn’t want to be so blunt, but urgency pushed him to faster, faster. “Maybe we can work something else out.”
“It’s that girl, isn’t it? The one from high school.” Morales chuckled. “You never did get over her.”
Knox and Morales had knocked back more than a few together over the years, so it didn’t surprise Knox that Morales knew about Danielle. He knew he’d talked about her, especially in the early years. He was surprised Morales remembered, and Knox figured he deserved the truth. “Yeah, it’s her. I can’t leave again.”
“I knew it.” Morales sounded smug, and Knox could imagine the shit-eating grin he must be wearing.
“I swear I will call you back, but right now I’ve got to ask her a really important question.” Knox hung up on his buddy, and it wasn’t more than thirty seconds before the first text notification hit his pocket. What now? Did Caleb need to chime in? Maybe his mother wanted to give him more horrible life advice? But it was Morales.
Invite me to the wedding.
Knox choked on a laugh, and he knew he owed his buddy a longer conversation—which he would absolutely initiate. Later. For now, he texted back a thumbs-up. Morales deserved someone all in, and Knox wasn’t that guy anymore. Maybe they’d work out a deal where he could consult, maybe they wouldn’t. Either way, his life was in Miami Beach now.
Knox paused to send one more text. To his mom: I’m asking Danielle to marry me. She replied with an entire row of question marks. He didn’t answer, figuring he’d fill her in later, however it turned out. He was done worrying about making her happy; it’d been foolish to ever think he could. She’d chosen her life. Now he would choose his. He tore out of the house, hoping he wasn’t too late.
But he was. The elevator doors opened onto the rooftop dog park, and he was met with an angry group of women. Women who were usually quite pleased to see him. Riley shook her head. Carrie and Eliza wore matching expressions of disapproval.
Carrie stepped forward. “You idiot, she’s taking the ramp.”
He nodded his thanks and took off, ignoring the twinge in his leg and the litany in his head that shouted at him in his old drill instructor’s voice that he needed to move, move, move. His whole life depended on it.
Chapter 36
Danielle swiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. Gosh, she’d made such a fool of herself in front of everyone at the dog park. Between Carrie and Riley, Knox was sure to hear about it. She placed one foot in front of the other on the rubberized ramp that wound its way down the side of the parking garage. Most folks took the elevator, but a few hard-core running enthusiasts, like Carrie, took the ramp up and down from the park. This morning, it was empty and Danielle’s sneakers squeaked against the ramp’s surface. Sarge, Flurry, and Luna trotted along beside her, alternately nudging her in the thigh. They knew she was upset. She needed to get it together. For the dogs.
Look at all the good things in her life. She loved her dogs, the puppies, her new plan for Homestretch. Really, she had nothing to complain about, much less shed tears over. Get a grip already.
A lone tear escaped the corner of her eye and trickled down her cheek, heedless of her mental pep talk. Because deep down, she wanted what Riley and Carrie had—that complete certainty in another person. She thought she’d been happy enough, but these past few weeks had showed her she wasn’t. Enough, that is. Yes, she was happy, but waking up with Knox this morning, well, she’d learned she could be happier. And now she wanted that, and she wanted it all the time and forever.
“Dani!”
She spun at the sound of her name, her heel catching on the rubber ramp in exactly the right way for her to lose her balance. She landed on her butt with a thump. Luna nosed her chin questioningly, and Flurry flopped down beside her, like it was perfectly natural to take a break on the way down the ramp. Sarge pulled in Knox’s direction but sat when he hit the end of his leash.
Knox’s hand reached down for her. Danielle gave it a think, but no, there was no graceful way out of this situation. She grasped his hand and levered herself back to her feet.
“Hey.” She swiped her bangs out of her face, tucking them behind her ear.
“Hey.”
She could tell from the tone of his voice that he already knew. Somehow, Carrie or Riley, or both, had gotten to him.
He tipped her face toward him, finger under her chin. “You know I love you, right?”
Her smile trembled. “Jinx.”
“I mean it.” His blue eyes searched hers, so worried and shadowed that she forgot her own embarrassment for a moment and reached up to cup his cheek in her palm.
“I love you, too. You know that.”
“It’s still good to hear.”
“Agreed.” Standing with Knox so close made her feel even more ridiculous for how she’d acted. Knox was a good guy, and he was here for her. No one could predict the future. Would it be so bad to live in the moment with him, however long that moment lasted? No, no it would not.
“I don’t have a ring.” Knox’s shoulders scrunched forward. “It’s why I didn’t ask last night. I wanted everything to be perfect. You know, big romantic gesture or whatever. But I couldn’t wait for all that, not when you walked through the door and I realized how much I’d missed you. I want to spend my life with you, Dani.”
Danielle swallowed hard. “You don’t have to say all this. I know Carrie must’ve told you about my breakdown. It’s not your fault. I’m fine with how we are.”
“What if I’m not?”
“You’re not?”
Knox blew out a frustrated breath. “On some level, I thought living together would prove to you that my leg wouldn’t hinder the kind of life we could have together.”
“I never thought it would.”
“I guess maybe I did. Huh.” The finger under her chin slid along her jawline and into her hair. “It’s humbling that you have more faith in me than I do.”
“That’s kind of how these th
ings work, isn’t it?”
“What things?”
“Relationships. But, Knox?”
“Yeah?” His other hand had slipped to her nape, and he seemed distracted by the flow of her hair through his fingers.
“I’m not really the forever kind of girl, am I? There’s not going to be a picket fences and babies, and I know you want those things. I’ll love you for as long as you let me, but I don’t want you to tie yourself to a woman who can’t give you the future you want.”
“You’re the only future I want.”
Those ridiculous tears started up again. “You mean that now, but I won’t hold you to it. Not after you know.”
He pulled her against his chest, and she felt the pounding of his heart, the drumbeat to her favorite song. “Know what? What is this big secret?”
* * *
Clutching her sides as if to hold herself together, face downturned, Danielle uttered words so soft he almost missed them. “I can’t get pregnant.”
Knox shook his head, sure he’d misheard. “But when we were—”
“It was endometriosis.” Danielle sucked in a long breath and slowly straightened until she looked him in the eye. “I didn’t know it back then, but that’s what caused the miscarriage. By the time I was diagnosed, the damage was done. Too much scarring, too many fibroids. After years and years of unsuccessful treatment, I finally had to have a hysterectomy.”
“No.” Knox’s head shook back and forth, faster and faster. “You wanted a big family. You’d already picked out names.”
The tears spilled from her eyes. “I know.”
“I don’t understand.” Knox blinked his eyes hard, moisture gathering in the corners. After leaving home, leaving Danielle, he hadn’t planned on any kind of future. He hadn’t really expected to survive too many more tours, but when his mind had wandered to old age, he’d imagined a wife. Kids. Grandkids. If they all happened to look a bit like Danielle, well, they were his fantasies and no one else needed to know about them. “You could’ve told me.”
