by Mara Wells
“When?” Her simple question speared him. He’d shut her out when she’d needed his support. He’d been a selfish Donovan, disguising his decision as some noble sacrifice meant to benefit her. Really, he’d only been running scared.
“I’m sorry.” The words weren’t enough, but he had to say them. He wasn’t running anymore. “I was an idiot back then, probably still am today, and I’ll never be able to make up for how I hurt you.” He reached for her, but she flinched away. He didn’t blame her. He settled for taking Sarge’s leash. The dog leaned against his leg, and Knox scratched the top of his head, looking for the right words to say. Or at least better ones. “It was bad, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah.” Danielle’s tortured gaze met his, and he saw how this confession destroyed her. How the past sat right there with her, clouding her vision. “Plus the depression. Afterward. It took a few years for me to—” She swiped at her nose with the back of her hand and stared up at the sky.
So many pieces fell into place. The way she’d reacted at the Easter egg hunt, at the petting farm, probably even why she’d been so hesitant to be with him at all. “Is that why you didn’t go to college?”
“At first, yeah, the pain. It was chronic and unpredictable, and none of the treatments we tried lasted for long. I couldn’t attend classes like that.”
“And after?”
“After? The scholarships expired.”
“Your dad has money. Don’t tell me he wouldn’t have footed the bill.”
Danielle smiled. “You sound like him. By then, it felt too late. Everyone I knew had already graduated, and I was still working at my dad’s clinic because I couldn’t hold down a real job. Depression. It was crippling, more so than even the endometriosis. Honestly, the hysterectomy set me free. It stopped the pain, the worry. Eventually, the depression stopped, too. I started Homestretch a few months after my surgery, and that’s what helped the most.”
Of course she had. Danielle never thought of herself first. Knox ached to pull her into his arms, but he was afraid she’d pull away again. Instead, he opened his arms wide, inviting her in for a hug.
She let him stand there for a moment, awkward, unsure, hurting for her. Then she threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his waist and burying her face in his chest.
“This is what’s so unfair. Where was this hug when I really needed it?”
Knox was gutted, like an old-fashioned bayonet had skewered him. He’d left her, alone and in pain. Okay, she’d had her father and her friends, but she’d wanted him to stay. She’d never made a secret of that. She’d called and texted for close to six months before giving up on him.
“I’m an asshole.” Knox breathed the words into her hair. “A self-centered, know-it-all asshole, and I am so, so sorry that I left you alone to deal with all that.”
She sniffed and wiped her nose against his T-shirt. “You are an asshole.”
“But, Dani?” He lifted his head and used a finger to tip her face toward his. “This time, I’m not going anywhere.”
“Oh God, that’s even worse.” She backed away from him, fast. “Please, go home.”
“If that’s what you want.” He’d do anything for her. Couldn’t she see that? “Will you come with me?”
But apparently, she couldn’t. Her shattered eyes met his. “In a while. I need to take a walk.”
The thought of leaving it like this between them was too much. He had to make her understand that this time was different; he was different.
“I’m not going to Atlanta. I’m not going anywhere you aren’t. For too long, I’ve been drifting, doing what I felt like, what came easily. But I’m making a choice, Dani, and my choice is you. Forever. What you’ve told me doesn’t change that.”
“You say that now. Let it sink in. No kids, not ever. No grandkids. No family.” She shook her head and shuffled down the ramp with Luna and Flurry. He watched until she disappeared down the street. Then he thunked his head against the concrete wall. Sarge nudged his hand with a soft whine.
“I know, big guy. We really screwed this up.”
Sarge looked at him with unblinking eyes.
“Sorry, you’re right.” Knox petted his head. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I screwed this up all by myself. What should I do?”
Sarge pawed at Knox’s hand and nosed Knox’s pockets where there were still two treats.
“Good to know your priorities.”
What about his own priorities? Danielle was at the top of the list now, and her running away was no more than he deserved. How could she ever trust him again after what he’d done to her? It was so much worse than she’d ever let on, and he didn’t know how to fix it. He’d figure it out, though. Semper Fidelis wasn’t just a slogan; it was a way of life. And he wanted that life to be with Danielle.
* * *
“What is going on?” Danielle stood on the sidewalk facing Knox’s house. Granted, her walk had been a long one, but when had he had time to do all this? Red, white, and blue bunting draped the boxwoods and hung from the banister.
He sauntered toward her on the front walkway, Sarge at his side. “Fourth of July is right around the corner.”
“But that’s not—Wait, what is… What is wrong with you?” Her eyes didn’t know where to look next. There was just…so much.
“I’m allowed to be patriotic.” His words were flippant, but his hands played in Sarge’s fur, betraying his nervousness.
“And the rest of it?” Danielle swept her hand to encompass the entire front yard. “It looks like a holiday décor store exploded out here.” In addition to the American flag hanging from the pole on the front porch, the Easter decorations were also back out on the yard. And the Halloween decorations, the Christmas decorations, the Valentine’s Day hearts. Reindeer were draped in American flags while tiny Easter bunnies cavorted with skeletons. Fake tombstones that said things like I Told You I Was Sick, Tomb Sweet Tomb, and Danielle’s favorite, Don’t Laugh, You’re Next, sat next to snowmen and four-foot-high glitter hearts. It was possibly the most bizarre thing Danielle had ever seen. Even Luna and Flurry seemed hesitant, standing on either side of her like battle-ready guards.
“I’m here for the duration, Dani. Every month of every year. Every holiday. Our house will be the place to go for Easter egg hunts and trick-or-treating. We’ll be a neighborhood institution, buying more and more decorations every year until the entire garage is filled with boxes. That’s my plan. My commitment. I’m not going anywhere.” He took a few more steps toward her but stopped when she put up her hand.
“That all sounds like family stuff, Knox. Even this grand gesture, isn’t it for the benefit of kids? You can’t help it. Deep down, you want your own family. What kind of person would I be to deny you that?” Her hand trembled in the air.
“You’re the person I love.” He stepped into her palm until it rested in the center of his chest. “I never thought of myself as particularly family focused, but you’re right about one thing. I want a family with you. But, Dani, a family can be whatever we make it. It can be you and me and a bunch of dogs. And my brothers and their families. And your dad. Don’t you see? We already have family.”
Her fingers curled in his chest, and she looked up to lock eyes with him. “No kids, Knox. Ever. You can’t tell me that’s what you really want.”
“You know there are other options, right?” He held her gaze, steady and true. “If we want children, they don’t have to come out of your body.”
She pulled back. “That’s a little graphic.”
“Adoption, foster care. If we decide to have a family, we’ve got options. Hell, you’re already a proven foster-care expert.”
“Dogs and kids are not the same thing.” She blinked, tears clinging to her eyelashes, blurring her vision so that he looked like a hazy lump of everything she ever wanted. “You wouldn’t mind if our
kids weren’t yours? Or if there were no kids at all?”
“What’s so great about my genetics that I’d be such a snob about it? Biology doesn’t make a family. Choice does. We can choose any kind of family we want. Even if it’s all dogs. Our family is whatever we make it.”
“You’ve only thought about this for a few hours. You need more time.”
“Isn’t fifteen years enough wasted time? Dani, we’ve both been coasting, practically asleep at the wheel. Being with you again has woken me up, and I don’t want to go back to being numb.” He covered the hand in the center of his chest with both of his. “We can make it work. I know we can.”
A round of applause exploded across the street. Danielle turned in Knox’s arms. Eliza, Carrie, and Riley stood in front of the Dorothy.
“Say yes!” Riley shouted.
“He hasn’t asked me a question yet,” Danielle shouted back.
Knox pulled her back against him, positioning her in that way that made it feel like their bodies had been made to fit together. He leaned his head down, bringing his lips close to her ear.
“Do you want to marry me, Danielle Morrow?”
Danielle smiled so wide that the other women started whooping their approval.
“Having trouble deciding?” His breath tickled her ear. “Do you need me to get the Magic Eight Ball egg?”
“There’s no mystery here.” She leaned into him, cheek nestling into her favorite spot on his chest. “If you’re sure, I am too.”
“Then say yes.”
Danielle stepped away, her palms sliding down his Semper Fi tattoo to grasp both his hands in hers. “Yes.”
Luna yipped, and all three of the well-trained dogs jumped on them, knocking Knox off his balance. He and Danielle both went down and were soon buried in a pile of wiggling dogs.
“You okay?” Danielle asked after she’d caught her breath and struggled to a sitting position.
“Are you kidding me?” Knox stretched over the top of Sarge’s head to kiss her. “This is the best day of my life.”
Cheering friends and misbehaving dogs forgotten, Danielle returned the kiss with her whole heart.
Acknowledgments
To Kait Ballenger, mentor and friend. Thank you isn’t big enough for all I owe you. Terry Price and Katy Yocom, thank you for all the hours of dreaming and scheming. You inspire me to keep going. SpLove always.
Jenny Luper, you’ve been on this journey with me every step of the way. Thank you for the love. For listening. For your valuable insights. And, of course, for the signature hot tub champagne cocktails served in crystal flutes.
With gratitude to Alex Flinn, Curtis Sponslor, and Gaby Triana, who read the first few chapters and helped me craft a stronger vision. Nicole Cabrera, thank you for not letting me get away with “just” anything. Steven Dos Santos, thank you for always being game for a brainstorm and some word play.
Ben Cook, my dear pseudo-sib, thank you for your help filling in so many blanks. Any mistakes are mine alone. This world is a safer, better place because you’re in it.
Herman Geerling, who always picks up the tab, whether it’s for dinner or an M.F.A. You’ve given me so much, and I am so grateful that you are my dad.
Nicole Resciniti, you always know the right thing to say. Your optimism and savvy are greatly appreciated.
For help naming the puppies, thank you to Karen Balcanoff, Madison Cabrera, Barbara Cannatella, Angel Conlon, Julie Edelstein, Chris Kirchner, Heather Schwarz, and Carrie Rathel.
As always, a sincere thank you to the Sourcebooks team who put so much into making this series great—my editor Deb Werksman and the dedicated folks behind the scenes: Dawn Adams, Sabrina Baskey, Susie Benton, Rachel Gilmer, Stefani Sloma, Sierra Stovall, Katie Stutz, Jocelyn Travis, and Cari Zwolinkski. Special thanks to Diane Dannenfeldt and Jessica Smith for your eagle eyes and incredible patience.
About the Author
© Michael Crumpton
Mara Wells loves stories, especially stories with kissing. She lives in Hollywood, Florida, with her family and two rescue dogs: a poodle mix named Houdini Beauregarde and Sheba Reba Rita Peanut, a Chihuahua mix. To find out more, you can sign up for her newsletter at marawellsauthor.com.
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