by Magan Vernon
“Until I showed up at your door.”
I nodded slowly. “Yeah. I don’t know what that means legally, but I’m not going to turn you away. You’re still mine.”
Mine.
I never thought of her that way.
All of those years ago looking at Trish’s pregnant belly, I was so far gone that I didn’t think anything other than being a fuckup.
Now, years later, and with another daughter of my own, it became abundantly clear that this was never just a fuck up. This was a person. My daughter. Mine.
She let out a breath, spreading her palms out on the table in front of her. “This conversation got a lot heavier than I thought it would. I may need that coffee. And a croissant or something. I haven’t eaten in a while.”
I smiled, even though it still felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders.
“Want me to order something in, or head out?”
“Let’s go somewhere. I’d like to see a little more of Dallas.”
And more than anything, I wanted to show it to her.
***
We ordered two lattes and two breakfast sandwiches at a little café and got them to go then walked the sidewalks lined with different boutique shops and perfectly manicured flowers nestled near old pecan trees.
“Wow. I can’t believe how much red meat Texas has. Brisket on a sandwich? Not just at a barbecue joint? Insanity.” Cheyenne stared at her sandwich like it was the best thing that had ever happened to her.
I laughed, swinging my free hand between us, ignoring that my body was still tense and I had my coffee cup in a death grip. “Not much for red meat in Los Angeles, I guess?”
She swallowed the big bite in her mouth then looked up toward the sky as if she were deep in thought, blinking a few times before licking her lips. “No. I mean, keto is a big thing now, so you’ll find some of it. But still a lot of smoothies and organic or vegan places. At least that’s where Mom seems to order from.”
“I take it you’re not vegan, guessing from how you just demolished that sandwich?”
She laughed. “No, neither is Mom, but we eat pretty healthily. She’s always ordering in, though, when she’s home. She spends a lot of time in her office. If she’s working late, usually she sends a salad or a power bowl from this place up the street. Believe it or not, there is a thing as too much quinoa and kale.”
“Yeah, that wasn’t a big thing when I was out there, but we also had a lot of juice bars. And oxygen bars too.”
“They still have those,” she said quietly, taking a sip of her drink before she spoke again. “Do you miss L.A.? You seem like you’re, well, I guess established here.”
I shrugged, ignoring the tugging feeling at my chest that had me wanting to hold back. “There were things I liked about L.A., but I lived here until I was eight and then moved back again sixteen years ago. Texas has always been home. Even an online graduate of UT. Hook ’em Horns.”
Holding up my hand, I put up my pinky and pointer finger, my thumb grasping my two middle fingers.
Juniper used to do this all the time when she was younger, and we’d watch the games. Now she was more interested in other things, mainly dinosaurs.
Just thinking about my other daughter had that feeling pulling in my chest again.
Did I tell her about Cheyenne?
No.
I couldn’t.
If she knew, she’d tell the world. Who knew if people would believe her, but all it would take was one person, and Trish could be in hot water.
And so could I, for breaking the contract.
“I don’t even know if NYU and Tisch have a mascot. Let alone sports teams.” Her words were soft, but I caught the hint of a smile on her lips.
“You still want to go there? Even after meeting your Swedish dad and hearing how effed up the world of a child star can be?” I asked, honestly, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk and looking down at the girl in front of me.
She was gorgeous, and not just because she had half of my DNA.
Her blue eyes stood out against her naturally tanned complexion, even without a stitch of makeup on and her long black hair pulled back. She wasn’t tall for her age, so modeling was probably out of the question unless she grew a few more inches or they put her in heels.
But would I want her to go through the same things I did in the industry?
Would I want it for Juniper either?
“I do. I still don’t think Mom will ever let me and she’ll insist I go to Cal Berkley for a degree in Business or something, but…” She looked down, scuffing the toe of her shoe against the sidewalk.
“If you really want to go, I’ll cover the tuition. If you get in that is,” I blurted without even thinking.
Her head snapped up, her mouth open and eyes wide.
The hair on the back of my neck stood on end as I ran my hand over my face. “If you wanted to accept that. Your mom never took any money from me, and if this is something you really want to do, as long as your mom okays it, I’ll pay for it. I know she has the money and all, but if it’s something you want, I’d help out.”
“Wow…I…I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything. Right now, at least. Guess we’d better talk to your mom first before either of us get too excited, huh?”
She nodded, but a small smile splayed across her lips. “Right.”
“Until then, anything else you want to see in Dallas? I could get you some more brisket for lunch if you want to try a real smokehouse. Peanuts on the floor and everything.”
She laughed. “Yeah, that sounds great.”
I didn’t expect it to be this easy to fall into step with a daughter I’d ever met, but now that I had, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to let her go.
Chapter 3
During lunch, my phone buzzed.
I didn’t want to ruin the conversation flowing so easily with Cheyenne, but at the second ring, my heart skipped a beat.
Would this be Rachel?
What would she have to say about Cheyenne?
Did she tell anyone?
No. Of course not, but…
Grabbing my phone out of my pocket, I held a finger up and muttered “One sec.”
I looked at the screen, my heart racing, nearly exploding.
A Los Angeles number flashed across the screen.
This tended to happen with new clients, but I had a feeling this wasn’t a business call.
Unlocking the device, I put it to my ear. “Hello, Lennox here.”
“Lennox. Where in the hell are you and Cheyenne?” Trish’s shrill voice carried through the speakers. Even Cheyenne winced.
“We’re at lunch.” I leaned forward, trying to give Cheyenne a reassuring smile, but it was forced. “How did you get this number?”
“You’re not as hard to find as you’d like to think you are. You should see about getting your address taken off all internet searches as well. Though I will say, you did well for yourself on this house.”
My eyes widened, and my already-tense body now felt like it was in a vice, about to split open. “You’re at my place? I thought you weren’t coming until tomorrow. That’s what we had talked about.”
“Yeah, well, we talked about a lot of things. Now I’m here, and if you and Cheyenne could get back to your house, it would be greatly appreciated.”
I knew when she said those words it wasn’t a request, but a demand. Especially when her voice seemed to rise with each new word.
I wasn’t afraid of a lot of people. I’d faced enough of my own demons for that.
But when it came to seeing Trish again, I was scared shitless.
“Okay. We’ll be there soon,” I said before we said our goodbyes.
Cheyenne let out a breath, shaking her head as she dipped the last of her fries in barbecue sauce. “Should have known she’d take the plane here as soon as she got a break.”
“She has her own plane?” I shouldn’t have been surprised.
/>
“First time I ever flew commercial was when I came here. Now I know why Mom doesn’t do it. Did you know they don’t even give you peanuts like they did in those old movies?” she asked before stuffing the fries in her mouth.
“Haven’t flown in a while, either, but I’m guessing it’s quite different than the private jet.” I tried to smile, but my words were flat. My mind was still on what was going to happen when I saw Trish again.
I took a few bills out of my wallet and set it on the table for a tip then stood, shoving my wallet back in my jeans, trying to ignore my shaking hands.
I hadn’t had nerves like this in years. Usually, I covered it with anger, but I didn’t want to always be the guy that lashed out.
Cheyenne didn’t need that to be her last memory of me.
“Is she pissed?” she asked quietly, sliding off her stool.
“I hope not, but if she is, I’ve got your back. Don’t worry,” I said, gently putting my hand on her shoulder.
She stiffened for a moment then looked up at me. Her eyes were no longer wide and questioning. This time, there was something else behind them.
I’d say I didn’t believe in love at first sight, but I’m a dad.
I fell in love with Juniper the moment she was born. Hell, even before she was born and I felt her in her mom’s stomach.
Now, looking down at Cheyenne, I knew that I loved this little girl.
We just had to hope that nothing bad would come of this.
***
When I pulled my car into the circular drive, there was already a sleek black Mercedes in front of the house.
The windows may have been tinted, but I’d worked with Trish so long I could feel her energy anywhere as a chill whooshed through the already air-conditioned car.
“You feel her wrath too?” Cheyanne whispered, staring out the window as I hit the button and unlocked the gate leading to the garage in the back.
The pocket door slowly creaked open, and I watched in the rearview mirror as the black car slowly followed us.
It wasn’t until the gate closed and Cheyenne and I were already standing outside of my car that a man in a black suit and dark sunglasses got out of the driver’s side. Then he opened the door behind him.
The world seemed to move in slow motion as soon as Trish’s heels hit the pavement.
I’d known Trish since I was eight years old and even though her character in the show was the comedic relief to the somewhat hardass guy who played my on-screen dad, I’d never seen her as anything other than intimidating.
Powerful.
She had a presence that could bring a grown man to his knees.
Coincidently, it was also how we ended up in this situation, but that’s neither here nor there.
Her face didn’t move. Not a twitch of her lips or narrowing of her eyes as she crossed the small expanse of stone. She stood in front of Cheyenne and me, arms crossed over the silky material of her blouse.
“Have anything to say for yourself, Chey?” she asked, barely raising her thin eyebrows.
Before Cheyenne could open her mouth to respond, I stepped forward, physically and mentally shielding her from her mother’s wraith.
“Don’t blame her, Trish, she was just curious about me.”
Slowly her gaze trailed over me. Her heated stare started from the bottom of my well-worn tennis shoes up to my T-shirt. No new expression on her face, just that same stone-faced look as she finally locked eyes with me.
“And you thought it was a great idea to just let her in? Then proceed to talk to her like you’ve been America’s best dad and I haven’t raised her.”
I put my hands up, feeling a wave of adrenalin course through me. “Hey, I never said you had to do it alone.”
She smirked. A small crack in that hard exterior. “Yeah, and you really think I was going to let an eighteen-year-old addict hang around my penthouse? Try and be a dad while in and out of rehab?”
I dropped my hands, my fists involuntarily clenching at my sides. Taking in a deep breath, I let it out as I carefully thought on my last words.
“I was young and stupid. And, yeah, I had a problem. I admit it. But I’ve been sober for over ten years now. I have a successful career. A family. And if Cheyenne wants to get to know me, why stop her? Would you rather I just never answered the door for her? Just let her sit on the porch until she had to call you? We’d still be in this same situation.”
She took a few steps closer until we were toe-to-toe. Her floral perfume radiated off her in a crashing wave. “You forget we had a contract, Lennox.”
My shoulders tensed, but I slowly breathed out, remembering my trump card. “The contract said nothing about Cheyenne contacting me. Just me reaching out to her. This kind of voids the whole thing, doesn’t it?”
She blinked hard, and I noticed Cheyenne fidgeting from one foot to the other out of the corner of my eye.
Trish closed her eyes and shook her head, letting out a deep sigh. “Lennox, I don’t have time to go through all of the legalities right now. I’ll call my attorney on the plane ride back and have him contact Brent.”
“Good, he’ll tell you the same thing I just told you.”
Trish’s eyes snapped open, and she turned to Cheyenne. “Honey, can you wait for me in the car?”
I looked over my shoulder at the girl who seemed to shrink when her mother was around. Before she could move forward, I turned around, taking her in my arms and embracing her in what I knew would be our last hug for a while.
“Call me anytime, okay?” I whispered.
She nodded against my shoulder, and I let out a deep breath I’d been holding in. “And you should call the girl who left here too.”
I froze at the mention of Rachel. The woman who had no idea what was going on and probably assumed the worst about me.
I probably needed to talk to her, before any of this got out.
And before she never wanted to see me again.
First, I had to deal with the woman starring daggers at me.
As soon as Cheyenne was in the car, Trish turned toward me. “Look, I get that you want to be her knight in shining armor or whatever, but right now you’re going to have to take a back seat.”
“Why?” I asked, standing straighter, crossing my arms over my chest to let her know I wasn’t going to back down.
“Do you really think it’s the best for either of our careers right now? Finding out you’re her dad would be the biggest scandal to rock the tabloids. None of us would have any privacy. That includes your youngest daughter.”
I froze.
All of that had crossed my mind, sure, but when I sat across from Cheyenne, laughing and talking like I’d known her forever, all that fear seemed to melt away.
“When can I see her again?” I asked, trying to keep my voice even, though I wanted to spit the words as a demand. Arguing wouldn’t help this situation.
She smiled, but it barely reached the corners of her lips. “Once I talk to my attorney, I’m sure we could arrange something. I could always use a tattooed Zaddy type to guest star in one of my shows, and it would make a great cover for an L.A. trip.”
I winced, hearing that word again and how casually Trish talked about it all.
Instead of protesting, I nodded, thoughts of Rachel now coming to the forefront of my mind.
I’d been so pissed at that photo, and now it had brought me Cheyenne. A chance to get to know her. The acting thing though? The spotlight again? Did I want that after building a normal life? Did I have a choice?
There was only one person I wanted to talk to about all of this. I just didn’t know if she would talk to me.
Or still, be angry as hell.
As soon as Trish’s car pulled out of the driveway, I was back in mine, going toward the one place where I could be myself and finally tell the truth about everything.
I just hoped she didn’t make me hop a fence to get there.
Chapter 4
The last time
I went to Rachel’s house was under much better circumstances and the promise of a dog.
One I had to text her sister back about.
But first, Rachel and I finally had to talk. I had to be honest with her about what kind of effect her dropping that photo had. How it may have been a coincidence Cheyenne was looking for me at the same time. But everything lined up. Now there was no going back.
Parking my car, I let out a deep breath, trying to think of the right words.
That was my love child with one of my coworkers on the show who also happened to play my mom, and now she’s a very powerful producer who doesn’t want me to tell anyone about this.
Maybe not the best explanation.
But I needed to tell her. If anything, else, she needed to know what a shit storm sharing the picture ended up with.
And to make sure that nothing about Cheyenne got out to the media. I could deal with Juniper’s photo, though that one still stung, but when it came to my secret child? That was one that needed to stay hidden. At least as long as Trish and I agreed to it.
Getting out of the car, I jogged up to the front door, ringing the bell.
The days were getting shorter, so the sun was already setting low in the sky just below the tree line.
Juniper was probably getting ready for dinner with my parents and, after this, I’d be going home to an empty house.
Neither of my daughters would be there.
I gulped a deep breath of air.
There had always been something that felt like it was missing in my life.
Yet the entire day before being with Rachel then spending time getting to know Cheyenne, my life felt different. Like an enormous burden had been lifted.
Now it was back. The only person who I wanted to talk to about all of this right at the other side of that door. I just had to hope she’d answer.
