by Magan Vernon
Ringing the bell, I kept my finger hovered over the button. She had to know it was me and she probably wouldn’t answer.
As if someone was listening to my mind, the door swung open. But instead of seeing Rachel, I met the wide, unblinking eyes of her daughter, Ariana.
“Hi, Juniper’s dad, where’s Juniper? Is she in the car? Can she come play?” Each word came out without a breath in between.
Guilt washed over me again, but I hid it with a smile, like I always did. “Sorry, it’s just me today. Is your mom home?”
“Ari, what did I tell you about opening the door for strangers?”
My heart leaped in my chest at the familiar voice. Then sank again when Rachel opened the door, her eyes wide with a sneer curling her upper lip.
“He’s not a stranger, Mommy,” Ariana replied, looking up at her mother with a toothy grin.
“What’s the commotion at the door? Something wrong with the mail again? I told him, I’m not paying for my own mail just because a damn online site wasn’t supposed to put that in the mailbox,” an older woman’s voice called before the door swung open.
Rach’s mom stood there, looking between her daughter and me as a broad smile crossed her face.
She fluffed her short hair, a hand on her hip as the material of her loose-fitting dress whooshed with her.
My shoulders loosened in response. By that reaction, Rachel didn’t say anything about Cheyenne. Which was a good thing, at least. The rumor mill hadn’t started yet.
“Hi, Len didn’t know you were coming by,” Rachel’s mom said, putting an arm around her tense daughter, squeezing it before she looked down at Ariana.
“Hey, Ari, why don’t you see if Papa wants to go get some froyo and we’ll give Mr. Len and your mom some time to talk.”
“Awesome,” Ariana yelled then ran into the house, talking a mile a minute.
Rachel gave her mom a pointed look, but she ignored it. Her mom flashed me a wink before motioning her free hand. “Come on in. Do you want anything to drink? Eat?”
“No, thanks, ma’am, I’m fine,” I said, stepping inside and ignoring the daggers Rachel was staring at me.
Her mother didn’t seem to notice them either because she grinned at her daughter. “Well, I’ll grab your dad and Ari. Don’t worry. Take your time to catch up. We’ll be gone a long, long time.”
She shot a wink over her shoulder as she headed out of the foyer and disappeared down the hall.
Rachel and I stood in silence for what seemed like forever as I watched her parents’ car pull out of the driveway and disappear down the road.
“I didn’t tell anyone about Cheyenne if that’s what you’re here about.” Rachel’s words cut the air between us, and I involuntarily flinched before shaking my head.
Taking a step closer, I tried to meet her gaze, but she kept her eyes on the floor.
Another punch to the fucking gut.
I don’t know what I expected. Did I need sympathy? No. But I had to tell someone everything that had been buried for years, and she had to understand why the hell sharing that picture had rocked my entire world.
“That’s not why I’m here, Rach. Though, I do need to explain her to you. Something I probably should have done a while ago. But there were contracts and non-disclosure agreements and…”
My words drifted as I stepped back, raking my fingers through my hair.
How the hell did I explain all of this? To someone who had no idea the inner workings of Hollywood, more so, what happened when custody was on the line.
Out of everyone, Rachel would understand the parenting part of this.
Or judge me for being a shitty dad.
“But that’s not an excuse,” I whispered.
She opened her mouth then closed it again before letting out a small puff of air through her nose. “No. I get it. I mean, it’s not like we’re that close that you’d tell me your deepest, darkest secrets or whatever.”
She shook her head then a small, garbled laugh escaped her throat. “I mean, we’re not teenagers. We’re adults. We can keep things from each other, even though I was pretty sure you opened up to me, and we were both pretty raw about things… Though, you know, we did sleep together afterward. So, if that was the plan all along, you didn’t need to go through all of the other BS if you were just going to lash out later.”
Her words hit me like a sucker punch to the gut, and I shook my head. My veins pulsed, making me keenly aware of how badly I needed something to calm down. How sixteen years ago I would have reached for the needle. How badly at that moment I wanted something to relieve the stress.
“Rachel, I promise, that wasn’t it at all. I haven’t told anyone about Cheyenne. Hell, not even my ex-wife knows.”
She blinked hard. “Seriously?”
I swallowed hard before nodding, the words I’d been keeping down so long now coming to the surface. I unclenched my fist, ignoring the rapid pulsing of my veins.
“Yeah. Like I said, contracts, NDA, her mom didn’t even put me on the birth certificate. My rights were signed over years ago when I was a dumb kid who knew he had to get his life together. But now that I’ve met Cheyenne, I don’t know…”
Her head bobbed. “No. I get it. I get that instant connection.”
“Yeah…” I said, my words trailing again.
Dammit, I was a trained actor, even in improv, and yet I was at a loss for what to say.
“I guess it was just a shock and it’s hard to put everything together when your, um, friend gets all pissy with you about a photo then you find out it’s because he has a secret teenage daughter who found the photos then you.”
“It’s more than just the daughter. It’s who her mom is.”
Rachel’s eyebrows raised in question and I let out a deep breath.
Well, it would probably come out sooner rather than later.
And after all of these years of keeping it in, it was like lifting a giant boulder off my shoulders to finally talk about it.
“Trish. The woman who played my mom on the show…”
“Teresita de la Peña?” Rachel’s eyes widened.
I nodded, crossing my arms over my chest. “Yeah. She’s, um, she’s Cheyenne’s mom.”
“Holy shit,” she whispered, shaking her head.
“I mean we weren’t in a relationship or anything, which makes this sound even worse, but…” I sighed, running my hands over my face. “It was something that happened after the last episode of the show. I was drunk and high as a kite, which doesn’t make any of this better, but it happened…”
“The queen of Wednesday night’s daughter is…a former younger co-star’s love child,” Rachel muttered.
The words soured in my stomach, and I had to shake off the feeling of dread spreading over me.
“Yeah and something that now I’m out in tabloid range again, if the media gets ahold of this, figuring out Cheyenne is my daughter, they’re going to have a field day. And if that happens, well, Trish has a big legal recourse against me.”
“And you wouldn’t be able to see Cheyenne again,” Rachel said softly, finally looking up to meet my eyes.
The anger once flashing in them had now softened to something different behind those greenish-blue, hazel eyes.
“Yeah.”
“Which I’m guessing is what you do want, right? Or did I totally misread that?” She raised an eyebrow.
I nodded, trying to keep my anger and the adrenaline coursing through me in check. “I do. But…I don’t think that’s possible. There’s just, well, a lot of shit that has to be taken care of.”
“I’m sorry I put you in a place where you had to deal with all of this,” she said softly.
Quickly, I closed the distance until there was only a breath between us, and she looked up, meeting my gaze.
I needed something to stop what was boiling through me.
And the one thing I knew would do that was to get lost in her body.
Maybe not the best rec
ourse, but she was being sweet. Almost too sweet for what I deserved. And if I was going to go after a drug, might as well be drowning in a woman.
I tucked a stray strand of her long brown hair that had fallen out of her ponytail behind her ear, letting my fingers linger along the soft curve of her cheek. “I shouldn’t have been a dick to you about the situation. You didn’t know. And now that it’s out there, I finally have to deal with everything I’ve been trying to hide the past sixteen years.”
“You don’t have to do it alone, you know?” Her words were a soft whisper that hit me not only square in my mouth but in my heart as well.
I could have stopped. I should have stopped. But I didn’t.
“You’re the only other one besides my agent and lawyer, and of course Trish, who know about this,” I said, choosing my words carefully.
“Like I said, you’re not alone,” her words were a whisper on my lips.
With that, I did what I’d been dying to do since the moment I walked in, cupping her face and sealing her mouth with mine.
A small sigh escaped her lips as her tongue met mine, her arms wrapping around my waist, so her body was flush with mine.
Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to get lost in her or to pick her up and carry her up the stairs.
“Second door on the left,” she murmured into my mouth as I crossed the last step then pushed open the door.
Then immediately crashed my hip into a white dresser covered in old band stickers.
Rachel’s eyes widened as she dragged her lips from mine and looked down at the offending dresser.
Slowly, her feet were on the ground, and she glanced around the room as if she just saw it for the first time.
It was like a teen girl’s bedroom from the 1990s with the white four-post bed with matching vanity and dresser, but also as if someone had tried to update it a fraction. With a new coat of paint on the walls and some framed photos, you almost couldn’t see the tape marks left over.
And I just hoped the floral bedspread wasn’t actually covering a waterbed like I’m sure I had during the same decade Rachel probably had this room as a teen. Or who I assume was her. Unless someone else had a Backstreet Boys sticker obsession in the house.
“Um, I haven’t exactly had anyone in this bedroom. Like, a man. Well, I mean, one time in college I brought a guy home …”
I shook my head, a smiling crossing my lips as I stepped closer to her.
She was so damn cute. And being with her could clear my mind for a while.
Her rambling stopped once my hands were on her cheeks. “The rambling is cute, but I don’t want to hear about either of our pasts right now. I just want to get lost in you.”
I sealed her lips with mine and her body melted into me instantly. As if it were just that easy for us to connect.
My hands slid down her back, pulling her as close as we could be, her body fit together with mine perfectly. Her not needing to stand on her tippy toes, me not needing to bend over.
And hell, if I couldn’t already feel the heat of her body through those thin yoga pants.
Fuck.
At first, she stayed still against me, but as soon as her lips parted and my tongue swiped across her bottom lip, a sigh escaping those beautiful lips, and she was a goner.
My hands moved to the hem of her shirt, barely breaking contact with our bodies as I freed her of the stretchy material then did the same with mine, our skin together as warmth spread through me. Like the feeling of laying on your pillow after weeks of traveling.
My mouth traveled down her neck, savoring the way she tasted and how my kisses left little goosebumps in their wake. Freeing her of her bra, my fingers brushed against her nipples then flicked the rosy pink buds with my tongue, a breathy gasp escaping her lips in response.
I continued my kisses, traveling from her breasts and down to her stomach. She sucked in a breath when I reached right above her panty line.
Kissing a line down her soft skin, I gripped the thin fabric of her pants, pulling them down to her ankles, letting my gaze fall on her bare flesh before me.
Meeting her wanton gaze, I slowly slid forward, delicately pressing my lips to her skin with one peck then another, my fingers skimming along the apex of her thighs.
She was already wet, slick with need, and swiping my tongue along her was like tasting heaven. Her hips barely moved in response, but her eyes went to half-mast.
I placed another small kiss right above her entrance, keeping my eyes on hers. “Look at me. I want you to watch as I make you come.”
Her eyes snapped open as her legs slightly shook, but she nodded in response.
I smiled then pressed my lips back to her skin, my gaze never leaving hers as I slid my tongue along her entrance then hooked a finger inside of her.
She moaned, her hips bucking forward slightly.
“That’s it. Show me what you want. Take it.”
I breathed out, swirling my tongue along her hardened bud as I hooked a second finger inside, thrusting my digits along with my tongue.
Her sweet scent surrounded me as those little moans vibrated in my ears. Her hands went to my hair, and she ran her delicate fingers through the messy locks before gripping hard.
I sucked on her bundle of nerves, continuing to pump my fingers in and out of her slick entrance, her hips bucking forward to fuck the hell out of my face.
Her legs shook, her moans deepening, I knew she was close as I flattened my tongue against her wetness and swirled my fingers, thrusting into her as other parts of me ached to.
She cried out, her body shaking as her nails dug into my hair, her essence exploding as her orgasm took hold, giving me the most beautiful sound as her body shuddered. Her sexy lips parted; her eyes still locked on mine in a beautiful haze.
After letting her come undone a second time, I was ready to keep going all day. Or until her parents came home. But it was Rachel who broke the contact, putting her hand over her mound and forcing my mouth away from her, my eyes on her gaze.
“I need to catch my breath,” she panted.
“I can do this all day,” I replied with a smile, brushing my lips against her thighs.
“Don’t you need, um, something in return?” she asked. The nervous blush crossing her cheeks was pretty damn cute for someone who just fucked my face.
But I also knew the other look, the one that she tried to hide, but even in just a flicker of a second, I saw it. The one who thought because I pleasured her, she needed to give me something in return.
“I don’t have a condom with me,” I breathed.
I waited for what felt like eons for her response. Watching the steady rise and fall of her chest.
Slowly, I stood, meeting her stare, the slight frown that brought a set of fine lines against her lips.
“Hey, you okay in there?” I asked softly.
This was probably the moment we should actually talk instead of just going at it.
But I didn’t want words or more explanations. I wanted to stay lost.
“I mean…you know…there are other things I can do if you wanted,” she said, her words coming out as more of a question as she ran her fingers along the lines of my chest, landing at the pinup girl tattoo right above the waistband of my jeans.
Shaking my head, I grabbed her hands, bringing them to my lips. What got me in this situation in the first place was my dick talking.
My dick without a condom.
I wasn’t going to do that with Rachel.
No.
Instead of doing what my dick wanted, I shook my head then slowly sat up, picking up our discarded clothes as reality came flashing back to me.
“I should probably go.”
“What? Was it something I did?” she asked, sitting up and chewing at her bottom lip.
I turned to the side, running my thumb along her cheek. “There’s a lot of shit going on right now. I needed to just get lost in you for a moment, but that was probably a bad fucking idea.”
I shook my head, the full reality weighing on me. “Fuck.”
With Rachel, I could forget about all of the shitty things of the past, even if it was just for a time. But I really had to face my reality.
“I’ll text you later, when I get some shit figured out, okay?”
She laughed, but there was no humor to it. “Un-fucking-believable.”
Dick move, but maybe it was better to leave her. She didn’t need any of this.
“Bye, Rachel,” I said, keeping my voice low as I exited her room and out the door.
This time she didn’t follow me. She didn’t say anything more.
I had no idea what the hell would happen next, but I know that by not thinking, I just fucked up my situation with her even more.
Chapter 5
Monday.
I usually loved Mondays.
I know, the oxymoron to end all oxymorons.
But when I was acting, it was always the start of a new day on set. We’d have a new scene, something to look forward to. Mondays were always like starting over. Whatever you’d done the weekend before…that was over, and it was back to reality.
At least, in theory.
And when you weren’t a parent who was back in the public eye.
I glanced out of the bay window in my office and saw a few vans parked outside of the hedges, hiding behind the rows of pecan trees as if I couldn’t see the camera toters.
Maybe Trish was right about making my address harder to find.
I couldn’t get lost in work and ramble off numbers to my clients when all I could focus on were the people outside my window.
Another distraction was in order and pulled out my phone. Staring at the screen, I wondered how long it would be to find a new dealer in Dallas.
No. I couldn’t go back to that. Maybe a drink would do.
Glancing at the clock in the kitchen, I couldn’t remember the last time I even went to the liquor store. Did they open before noon in the bible belt?
Fuck.
Luckily, or unluckily as it may be, my thoughts were interrupted by my phone chirping from my desk.
