by Magan Vernon
“Yeah, it’s been one hell of a day.”
Letting out a deep breath, the full weight of the words hit me like a Mack truck.
“Should we finally talk this all out? Or do you want to just stare at each other with our matching brooding stares?” She pulled her glasses down toward her nose and gave me her best Blue Steel impression.
Swallowing hard, I thought about her statement. I could just get lost in her like I did when I last saw her then left. We could joke and laugh and pretend there wasn’t this giant cloud hanging over us.
But, if I kept running and escaping, things were just going to get darker.
It was time to finally face it.
“My ex picked up Juniper because she heard all of the tabloid things and somehow a camera toter got a photo of Trish at my house.”
Rachel blinked hard, pushing the glasses back up her nose. “What? So, she knows about Cheyenne? What did she have to say?”
Swallowing hard, I shook my head, guilt washing over me. It was one thing to hide Cheyenne from the rest of the world because of an NDA, but I’d hidden the girl from my own wife. “She doesn’t know about Cheyenne. She saw Trish in photos and automatically assumed it was because she wanted me for a role, so now she’s saying she wants me to get her and her boy toy parts on the show.”
Rachel tilted her head, her eyes slightly slit. “So…she doesn’t know you have another daughter and the only thing she’s concerned about isn’t how her own daughter is doing with all of this, but about getting an acting gig?”
I laughed, even though there was nothing funny about the situation. “Yeah. Always how Ally’s been. She said she wanted to get away from the limelight, but I knew she was still contacting her agent to see about auditions. She met her new boyfriend at the taping of a pilot in Dallas. He was going for a leading man role, at freaking twenty, and she was going for the young star…in her thirties.
Neither one got the part, so I guess they commiserated together over drinks and one thing lead to another, so she says.
“It would seem that way,” I muttered.
“How is Juniper doing with all of this anyway?”
I swallowed hard. “Well, she doesn’t know about Cheyenne, but she knows something is up. Especially with having her moving around from her grandparents’ house to her mom’s and back to me. I don’t even know how to approach the subject with her.”
Rachel nodded. “She’s a really smart girl, Lennox. And intuitive. You don’t need to give her all of the details, but by keeping her in the dark, she probably just thinks somethings going on with her daddy. She is either going to act out or close herself in to get your attention. At least, that’s what Ari does.”
Her words washed over me, and I thought on them for a moment.
How the hell does one even begin to have that conversation?
“Juniper has never known her dad as the actor. Just as the dad and financial guy. I don’t think she realizes anything about my life before her.”
She smiled. “Why don’t you talk to her about it then?”
I shrugged. “I guess I never thought about it. I never wanted her to be a part of that life, you know? I figured if someday she did want to get into acting, she could do it when she was eighteen. Since most of the people cast on these teen shows now are in their twenties and thirties, and there’s really nothing more she could do at age eight than she could at eighteen. Besides, have more of a choice in things.”
“Does she know this?” Rachel tilted her head.
“We’ve talked about that, and she’s never said she wanted to do acting. Though Ally did talk about getting her commercial work as a baby and I put the axe on that right away.”
“Because of what you went through?” Rachel asked softly.
I swallowed hard before speaking, my eyes drifting to my lap. “Not just me, but so many of these former teen stars I worked with. There are laws now to protect their assets until they’re old enough to get their trust, but man, some are just really stupid with money. I don’t want my daughter to end up like them.”
Or me…
“You’re not a bad guy, Lennox. You made a mistake when you were eighteen, but that doesn’t have to define you. There’s so much more to you as a person than just the guy who had a tryst with his co-star,” Rachel said, knocking me out of my thoughts. I looked back to the screen and her tight-lipped smile.
“I don’t know if you would have said that if you met me sixteen years ago.”
“Well, this isn’t sixteen years ago. This is the present. You’re the one who gets to decide what happens now. Didn’t you always say you wanted to keep the past in the past?”
“Yeah, hard to do that when it’s back and smacking you in the face though,” I grumbled.
She nodded, licking her lips. “Okay, fair enough. But now that you have to confront all of these things, do it how you want to. Talk to Teresita, I mean Trish, and tell her if you want to see Cheyenne. Tell her that your ex wants a role on the show, but you don’t think it’s a good idea. Just talk to her like you’re doing with me right now.”
I shook my head, my chest aching. “It’s not as easy to talk to her as it is to you.”
A blush crossed her cheeks. “It’s only because my awkwardness brings all the boys to my yard.”
No, it’s because I’m falling for you and I keep screwing this up.
“I wish you were here with me right now. Not just on the phone,” I said honestly, my palms itching to touch her. To have her lie in bed with me and forget the world.
She sighed. “If I were there, I wouldn’t get any work done, and you’d keep avoiding calling Trish. We probably really do need to take a break from things.”
I blinked. So, she had a point.
“If I call her, can we figure us out? You could come here tomorrow night?” I asked before even thinking about what I was saying.
“Do you really think we should do that right now? I mean, I know my parents would watch Ari…but what about everything that’s going on with Juniper?” She bit her bottom lip as if that wasn’t the answer she wanted to give or just waiting for a bad reaction.
I sighed. “You’re right. I know. Can I at least see you then? After school? Your sister can even bring the dogs.”
“Why don’t we see how your call goes with Trish first?” She raised her eyebrows in a challenge as if she knew I wasn’t going to do it.
“You drive a hard bargain, but fine. I’ll do it.”
She smiled. “Good. Then I’ll see you tomorrow at drop off?”
“I’ll see you then, Rach. Good night.”
“Good night, Lennox.”
With that, the screen went blank, and I leaned my head against the pillows, mentally summoning the courage to dial Trish.
I could always lie and tell Rachel I did it. But I had a feeling as soon as I saw those big hazel eyes in person, there was no way I could do that.
And lying, keeping secrets, and trying to avoid the past was what I’d been doing the past sixteen years. I couldn’t keep doing it. It was time to face reality.
Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, I scrolled for Trish’s name in my contacts, pressing “call” before I lost my nerve.
It only rang once before she picked up, something I wasn’t expecting, thinking she’d be working and it would go right to voicemail. “Lennox. Thought I’d be hearing from you soon.”
I gulped, sensing the tension in her voice.
Did she see the photos that Ally had talked about?
“Hey, Trish. How’s it going?”
“I’m literally in the middle of an all-night writing session, so I don’t have time for small talk. Let’s just cut to the chase.”
I nodded, even though she couldn’t see that as worry prickled my skin. “Okay.”
“I saw some stupid photos that someone took of me at your house. Luckily no one thinks it’s anything more than me wanting you for a role. So, when can you fly out here, and we’ll do a three
-episode stint?”
Swallowing hard, I tried to process what she was saying.
It could be that easy just to make everything go away.
But then there was the Ally thing.
And did I want to be back in the L.A. life?
Even if it meant that Cheyenne would get to go to New York for school, something I could finally give the girl I abandoned all of those years ago.
But then what did that mean for Juniper?
“I’d have to check my schedule, but you know, my ex-wife and her boyfriend are looking to get an introduction and possibly an audition for your show.”
Trish huffed. “Ally? I’ve seen her social media posts with that no-neck boy. I also watched her on that reality show, and I’ve seen better acting from the dogs on set.”
Well, that was one way to put it.
“She seems to think that I’d have some pull to get you a role since she saw the photos of us together.”
“And?” she asked, but there was much more in that one worded question.
“She doesn’t know about Cheyenne. She is just trying to do what she can to get back in the spotlight.”
“I see,” Trish replied, her words stiff, no emotion.
“But as for me acting again…I don’t know…” I raked my fingers through my hair, my heart and mind both at odds and beating at a million miles a minute.
“The offer still stands from earlier. You do this acting gig, and we can see about you and Cheyenne talking. And your spot covering her tuition to Tisch. I guess…” She sighed. “If you wanted to spend some time with us while you’re here, the press wouldn’t be onto anything so that you could see her again.”
I froze. This was what I wanted. To see my daughter again.
But to do that, I’d have to go against everything I just said, bringing Juniper back into the spotlight and go back to the acting world.
“So, what’s the answer going to be, Len? I need to get back to work.”
“I’ll see what my schedule can arrange,” I muttered, letting out the breath I didn’t know I was holding in.
“Great. I’ll see you next week.”
With that, she ended the call, leaving me staring at a blank screen and wondering how I was going to explain this all to Juniper. My parents.
To Rachel.
Chapter 8
The world of acting never prepared me for life as a single dad.
“Juniper, are your shoes and pants on?” I yelled up the stairs, scraping the last of the sugary cereal she took two bites out of into the trash.
“Dad, I’m pooping! I can’t wear pants while I poop.” Her voice echoed through the high ceilings of the house.
I thought boys were the only ones who farted all the time and had poop jokes. Not Juniper. The girl decided her regular time to go was right before we had to leave for school and anytime, we were out at a restaurant. Usually, she announced it by making a thunderous farting noise and saying she had to go really bad.
After pushing the last of her breakfast into the trash, I wiped my hands on a dish towel before darting up the stairs and heading into Juniper’s bedroom.
When Ally left, I decided to give Juniper a clean slate and let her redo her room. Little did I know that would mean taking away the celestial sky theme Ally picked out, painting over a starry night ceiling and getting rid of the princess bed. All to be replaced with a pirate bunk bed and a mural from one of the Lego movies.
In between all of the scattered toys lay her school pants. Right next to her light-up tennis shoes she just had to have because, apparently, they made her run faster.
“Dad, I told you I was pooping! You didn’t need to come snooping for my pants.”
I turned around to see Juniper standing in her school polo and Wonder Woman underoos, hands on her hips and a scowl on her face.
“Just wanted to make sure you were ready; we have to leave soon.”
“You can’t rush a woman, Daddy,” she said with a huff, grabbing her pants on the floor before sliding them on.
“Oh?” I raised an eyebrow, wondering where she’d heard that remark.
“That’s what Mommy always says to Chad when they close the door. I’m not supposed to listen or interrupt them since Mommy gives me her phone to play games, but I heard her yell that.”
My interest was piqued as I stepped forward, wondering exactly the two were arguing about. “Were they fighting?”
She nodded as she slid her shoes on. “I think so. There was a lot of grunting, and then I kept hearing some banging on the walls then Chad yelling that he was coming. But I don’t know where he was going.”
She wrinkled her nose in question, but all of the heat drained from my body as I gulped.
So, not arguing.
“You know, probably just a grown-up discussion they were having,” I said quickly helping her up and trying not to look her in the eye. Taking a mental note that next time Rachel came over to make sure Juniper wasn’t anywhere she could hear us.
That is, if Rachel would want to be with me again.
“Like you and Miss Rachel have?” she asked as we walked down the stairs.
“Um, well, not exactly like that.”
“Then what is it?”
She wasn’t going to let this go.
I may have been a decent actor once upon a time, but nothing ever prepared me for these types of questions.
“Well, Rachel and I do talk, but sometimes grown-ups will have discussions that could get a little heated.”
“What does that mean?”
I winced as we headed into the garage and my car. She wasn’t going to let this go, was she?
“Just like when you argue with your friends or don’t agree on something, sometimes grown-ups do that too. Or sometimes, even when they are getting along, a conversation can take on more passion. Raising their voices because they’re excited.”
I nodded to myself, sliding in the car, thinking that was a pretty damn good answer if I did say so myself.
“Did you and Miss Rachel have a grown-up fight and that’s why I had to go to Grandma and Grandpa’s?” she asked in a voice barely above a whisper.
I sighed, sliding a free hand over my face. “Partially.”
“Okay,” she said with a nod as if she finally realized that it was time to end the conversation.
Thank God, because I didn’t know how else I would finish this.
I’d been lying to everyone for so long, and now that I’d told Rachel the truth about Cheyenne, I started wanting to let other people in my life in on the things I’d been hiding.
Letting the weight finally lift off my shoulders.
But could I still do that without getting into any legal recourse?
Maybe if I really did take this acting job, it could help everyone out.
Maybe.
***
“Lennox, hey, wait up.”
I stilled at the teacher’s door, my heart immediately skipping a beat as I turned around to see Rachel jogging down the hallway holding Ariana’s hand.
“Ari! I missed you so much!” Juniper ran toward the little girl, both embracing in a flurry of messy blonde hair. Then they started chattering about something before running together into the classroom.
“Bye, Ariana,” Rachel yelled, and the little girl waved over her shoulder before going back to her conversation with Juniper.
Rachel stopped in front of me, letting out a breath before pushing back a strand of her fallen hair.
I couldn’t help the grin crossing my face as my eyes roamed over her outfit.
Ally may have been all together, thinking she looked irresistible in her little dress and full-face makeup, but she was nothing compared to the woman standing in front of me in the ripped jeans and tank top featuring a cartoon leprechaun that hugged the very curves of her body I was aching to touch.
But probably not the best thing to do in the middle of the school.
“So, you were looking for me?” I asked, raising a
n eyebrow, a small smile crossing my face.
I wasn’t sure if it was the smile or the question, but a group of moms passing us whispered amongst themselves, giggling as they walked past.
Sometimes I wondered where a woman’s maturity went. Almost as bad as Juniper and her fart jokes.
A blush crossed Rachel’s cheeks, highlighting a light dusting of freckles. “Um, well, there’s this place I need to go today that I thought could help with the bake sale finances. I didn’t check with you first since you have some stuff going on, but it’s a vegan bake shop, and I thought it might be good to work with them for the bake sale.”
“Vegan bake shop?” I asked as we walked in step down the hallway.
“They also have coffee, which I desperately need. But, yeah, vegan baked goods. I emailed the owner to see about possibly working with them so the moms wouldn’t have to worry about baking under the requirements and we could just get a portion of what they sell on bake sale night.”
My smile broadened as pride swelled in my chest. “Actually, that’s a really damn good idea.”
“Really?” The blush had now spread all the way down her cheeks and to her neck.
I wanted to run my lips and tongue down that pretty little smile, but I knew where that would lead. That would have to wait until after this bakery trip.
No. Stop trying to ignore what’s going on, Len. Focus.
“Yeah. As long as the rest of the PTA approves it and this place is actually decent.”
“Well, I make no promises on that one, but we’ll see when we get there.”
“Awesome. I’ll drive, and you navigate.”
She wrinkled her nose. “How about we drive separate?”
I glanced over my shoulder as we stepped into the parking lot. “Rachel, I know things are still weird and that neither of us wants to get into a relationship right now, but Amy is right. We do have to work together for this bake sale.”
And if we rode in the same car in close proximity, there could be the physical touch.
Even if I was trying to avoid using her as my crutch to avoid other voices, I couldn’t deny how bad I wanted her. Mentally and physically.
She huffed. “Fine. But this is just for the bake sale, okay?”
