Highlands Forever Collection: A Highlander Romance Bundle
Page 8
His comeback ripped a gaping hole in her chest. Those were the words of a man in love—a man who had been shattered and never found a way to put himself back together again.
“Let me go, Alex. Tis a fair solution. Ye’ll be happier. Yer people will be grateful. And Lord knows, I may find my own bit of joy once I return home.”
He held up his hand. “Stop.”
“But…”
He shook his head and moved his attention to the water. “My father isna buried in the kirk.”
Why speak of his sire now? Out of respect for the man she knew and loved, she decided to indulge Alex. “Why not?”
“The northern clans embrace their Viking roots. It is easy for a warrior to gaze across the sea and imagine his kinsmen sailing here on a longship in ancient times.”
“Aye,” she said. “My father did the same. The tall tales he told at feasts about the Northmen, their brutality and fearlessness, filled by childhood dreams. How many cups of ale have been raised to honor one of England’s worst enemies?”
“Enough to inspire my sire to demand a burial like one of those bloody Northmen.”
She looked at Alex in shock. “What do ye mean?”
“His body was washed and dressed and then placed on a ceremonial boat strewn with heather and bells. His shield and sword were placed within his cold grip, bowls of incense lit and set about him. Then the women cried the coronach, recalling his greatest battles as his captains pushed the boat to sea. Upon Mathe’s signal, a lone archer shot a fiery arrow at the vessel, setting it afire. Twas a warrior’s burial, Keely, but not a Christian one. And Father Michael canna tell me if he’s in Heaven or Hades.”
“Dear God…”
He continued with his story. “Mathe described the ceremony to me, but I couldna believe my sire would stray from tradition. He believed in God, but after reading his missives…” Alex showed her a stack of letters. “I’m not sure which god he worshipped.”
Her heart bled for him, for no one wanted their father’s soul to be lost. “His service to yer clan, his benevolence, and unwavering belief in justice have saved him. God has many names and forms, does he not? Ye’ve learned that on yer adventures.”
Alex scratched his head. “And where did ye gain such wisdom, lass?”
“Years spent in the Sutherland library reading every manuscript I could get my hands on.”
He frowned at the mention of his enemy’s name, but his expression returned to normal quickly. “I doona know why I shared this story with ye. My father admired ye, Keely, even loved ye as a daughter, I think. He mentions ye many times in his letters.”
“I miss yer father, Alex. Perhaps we wouldna be here if he was still laird.”
“But he isna.”
“Nay, he isna,” she agreed. Is this what he wanted to see her about? To reminisce about things that would never be? For a brief moment she wanted to touch his face, to offer comfort, because she could see the pain in his eyes, the regret etched on his handsome face. “Where did the missives come from?”
“My secretary found them among my father’s things. When I left for Constantinople, the ship I sailed on stopped in Rome first. I spent months there and met Petro de’ Medici. I hired him as an interpreter. We’ve been together ever since.”
“A valued friend?”
“More like a brother.”
“I am happy ye found such a companion.”
Alex nodded. “And have ye found such an ally?”
“Only one.”
“A man?” His eyes narrowed.
“Nay.”
“Then who?”
“I’d rather not say.”
“There will be no retaliation if ye give an answer I doona like.”
“Helen Sutherland.”
Alex closed his eyes and drew in a stiff breath. “I know nothing about the woman.”
“She isna like her brothers.”
“And how well do ye know her brothers?”
“That is an unfair question.”
“Is it, lass?” He placed the missives on the boulder, then started pacing. “Do ye have something to hide?”
“Nay. It’s just … why do ye want to know?”
“Everything about yer past, especially the time ye spent with the Sutherlands, is of great interest to me, to my clan.”
“I thought ye were leaving.”
“Until this afternoon, I thought the same. But important details have come to light.”
“What kind of details?”
“The kind that make a man rethink his choices.”
“I’m not a Sutherland spy.”
“I believe ye.”
He did? “Why?”
“Ye’re not stupid, Keely. So, I must accept yer explanation as to why ye showed up here when ye did. A mere coincidence, or God’s hand played a part in it. Either way, I believe we were meant to see each other again.”
“Thank ye for that bit of trust.”
“Doona take advantage of it. If I find out ye’re lying, I’ll have yer heart.”
The threat dinna affect her the way it should. Instead, she relied on that courage Jamie told her to find within herself. “The way I took yers?”
He gave her a scathing look—the kind she imagined he showed his fiercest enemy before he drove his sword through their gut. “Doona tempt me, lass.”
She dinna understand his desires, or why he acted the way he did. “I willna grovel at yer feet, Alex.”
“Why did ye leave?” he finally asked.
Should she tell him? Would he hate her that much more once she explained it? “I wasna thinking clearly when I ran away on my wedding night, Alex. John was a good man, a kind one. I-I…” The words were all jumbled up inside her head. “The thought of another man touching me…” She covered her mouth, even that partial confession would make Alex think she never stopped loving him. “It wasna what I wanted.”
“Nay?” He stared at her long and hard. “What did ye want, Lady Keely?”
“The right to choose my own husband.”
“And who took that freedom away from ye?”
Keely cast her gaze downward, kicking at the ground—anything to keep from looking directly at Alex. “Circumstance.”
Alex snorted. “Circumstance?”
“Aye,” she said. “The kind beyond a daughter’s control.”
“My father and brother are gone, yer oath of secrecy died with them, Keely.”
Tears filled her eyes, but she refused to give Alex the satisfaction of seeing her cry. “A promise once made must be kept, always.”
Alex stepped closer, tipping her chin upward. She couldna keep from staring at him, from catching a fleeting glimpse of the compassionate man he used to be.
“I am laird now,” he reminded her. “I release ye from that oath.”
“I willna betray that sacred trust.”
“What sacred trust? The one my sire and yer father unfairly made an inexperienced lass swear to through intimidation?”
Her heart skipped several beats. “Ye know about it?”
“My father carried a great deal of guilt after ye wed John. His missives are quite detailed. I doona think he ever intended for me to read them. Not the ones pertaining to John’s life, and yer marriage.”
“If ye know the truth, why are ye forcing me to say it?”
“Because I want to hear yer words.”
Keely dinna like reliving the past, but everywhere she looked forced her to remember, to rethink her choices, to face her greatest sins. She’d lost five years with the people she loved, including her father and brothers. It made her heart hurt. She walked to the edge of the loch, scooped a handful of rocks from the dirt, and threw several. Ripples formed in the tranquil water. Even the winds were quiet today.
“Marrying a second son dinna appeal to my father.”
“Did it please ye?”
She refused to answer.
“Keely?”
“My feelings dinna matter then, and
surely doona matter now.”
“I’ll have an answer.”
“I did as I was told.”
“Until ye faced the marriage bed.”
She whirled around. “Did ye bring me here to humiliate me or find a solution for our problem? John is buried. Ye’re the new laird. And everything can be settled if ye just send me home where I belong. Let my da deal with my bad choices, Alex, not ye, not Clan MacKay.”
Once again, Alex came to her, framing her face with his hands. His eyes were void of tenderness but not purpose. “Sending ye home would be a sign of my failure. It isna possible.”
She dinna step out of reach, but stood there blinking, wondering why. Had the council demanded she be held prisoner? That Alex punish her? “Why?”
“There’s consequences for everything we say and do, no?”
“Aye,” she answered shakily.
“Do ye remember our last encounter here at the loch?”
She could never forget it. Never. That memory had burned a fresh path from her aching heart to her troubled mind over and over again. Especially since the day she crossed into MacKay territory and discovered the burned village. How she wished to go back and rethink her decision to flee Dunrobin Castle. “Aye.”
Alex caressed her cheek with his thumb. “We pledged our hearts and souls to one another.”
“We were young.”
“We were in love,” he said.
No. Lust. Passion. Desperate need. Hunger. Anything but love. Seeing him in the sunlight, with his bright, green eyes focused on her, that chiseled jawline, straight nose, his shoulder-length hair, and muscular form—the way his tunic hugged his body, the way his tartan clung to his hips, revealing powerful thighs … that’s what muddled her mind five years ago on a warm summer night. She could see it clearly, smell fresh heather, feel the soft grass underneath her, remember Alex’s warm touch on her face and breasts, the way he pulled her gown up her legs, then parted her thighs with his knee…
“Let me show ye how much I care, lass, how much I love ye.” He’d whispered those words so tenderly. “I give ye my heart, my body, and soul, Keely Oliphant. Do ye promise to be mine, to honor me with yer life, by being my wife?”
And she’d uttered aye, her mind and body filled with everything Alex. It had been a mistake – at least she thought so now. “Love and desire are often mistaken for the same thing,” she said.
He chuckled, and she thrust her hands on her hips.
“How do ye know the difference, lass? What other man has brought ye to the edge of pleasure like me?”
She shrugged him off, but Alex wouldna relent, he grabbed her arm again. “Well?”
“Do ye think ye’re the only man to offer me his love and name?”
She’d grown to hate his arrogance since she’d been back. But underneath it all, she still saw slivers of vulnerability. A man who had lost too much.
“Have ye given yerself to another, woman?”
“That is a private matter.”
“I disagree,” he growled.
“Ye wouldna believe me either way. If ye must know, have one of the midwives examine me.”
“A suggestion I will seriously consider.” He released her.
She’d like to see one of the MacKay midwives try and get her to lie down on a bed and lift her skirts. Did Alex really believe she’d shame herself by having sex out of wedlock? Honor meant everything to her, as it did Alex. Why were men judged by their character and women judged solely by their virginity?
“I’d like to return to my room.”
“And I want ye to stay.”
She gave up and found a patch of grass to sit on and started to hum her favorite song.
“What tune is that, lass?”
She glared at him. How could his mood change so easily? Had he lost his mind? “I doona remember the words,” she lied, “just the melody.”
In truth, the song spoke of two young lovers who were doomed to marry other people.
…Her golden eyes are upon me no more.
Her golden hair no longer feels like silk in my calloused hands.
Her sweet lips no longer utter my name, but the name of the man her father sold her to.
A husband who no deserves her.
A man who I would kill.
But I ken, I am in her heart—which is worth all the silver and gold in Scotland.
Worth the blood of my own Highland heart.
Her memory alone will carry me into the next life,
Where I’ll stand before the Almighty and ask of him what I know he’ll ask of me.
Give a reckoning of the man ye were and will be.
And I’ll say of my golden eyed lass—I am no a man without her—why did ye take her from me?
And if the Almighty doesna have an answer, I’ll no have one for Him…
It had stayed with her since the night of her wedding.
“I am uncivilized,” he admitted as he stooped in front of her. “Prone to rage and jealousy. The idea of another man touching ye, kissing ye…” He dinna finish the thought, but slanted his mouth over hers, testing her willingness to kiss him back.
At first, it dinna feel right. Alex had no right to touch her. But something burst inside her, a need she’d long denied. One kiss from Alex awakened it again, extracting it from the depths of her heart. She twisted her fingers in his hair, pulling him close. His scent and taste overwhelmed her senses. Could this be the turning point for them? Could their bodies provide the peace she sought between them?
He broke the kiss. “Ye still want me, lass.”
Damn him to the darkest depths of Hades. She’d like to slap that self-assured grin off his face.
She rejected his claim in the harshest way. “I willna turn down a kiss from a handsome man.”
He offered her a mirthless laugh before he fingered a strand of her hair. “I always loved the color of yer hair, lass. Black as night, the color of sin.”
She slapped his hand away. “Am I a sin, Alex?”
“Ye’re a sinner, that much I know.”
She stood up and brushed the grass from her backside, only too happy to leave him alone. “With yer permission…” She dipped into a curtsey. “I’d like to go inside.”
Something dangerous flickered in his eyes as he straightened. “Do ye know what I do with headstrong women?”
“Alex…”
Keely turned and found Jamie standing a few feet away. The man had saved her from further humiliation.
“I asked ye to leave us alone,” Alex seethed.
“The council,” Jamie said. “They wish to speak to ye, now.”
“Magairlean!” he cursed.
“I am sorry,” Jamie offered.
“I will go, but stay with Keely. She may take the air or return to her chamber.”
“I am glad our conversation is over,” she called after him, unable to resist the chance to needle him once more.
He spun around. “Which part, lass? When ye misconstrued love for lust?”
She could feel her face flush. Why did he have to repeat such intimate details in front of his cousin?
“There is only one thing ye need to know, Keely. At nightfall, ye are to be delivered to the great hall where a marriage ceremony will take place.”
Her heart thundered. “Who is getting married?”
Alex raised his eyebrows. “Do ye need to ask?”
“Tis my right to know if I’m expected to attend.”
Alex eyed Jamie, then looked back at her. “Ye’re the bride, Keely.”
Frustration and confusion collided inside her, and she stumbled as if something heavy had struck her in the chest. The air around her grew thick. When he had threatened her with marriage, she thought it a ruse. “Why?” He couldna do it. “Ye will not force me to wed anyone. I want to go home.”
“Look around ye, lass. This is home. Not Dunrobin Castle, and surely not yer sire’s house. Ye’re a MacKay, and by God, ye’ll die one.”
Her b
ody shook uncontrollably, and then her legs gave out. “Nay,” she managed to squeak before everything went black.
Chapter Eleven
Alex caught Keely before she hit the ground. He carried her to the rocks and sat down, balancing her on his lap. “Foolish lass,” he said gently, smoothing stray hairs back from her face.
“Why do ye toy with her?” Jamie asked, looking far more concerned about Keely than Alex felt. “Ye dinna tell her the whole truth?”
“I was about to, before ye showed up.”
“Ye kissed her.”
“Why were ye lurking in the shadows?” His question came hard and quick.
“I dinna want to disturb ye.”
“Well, ye did.” Alex said, gazing at Keely’s motionless form. “The she-devil ran out of strength finally.”
“Keely isna what ye claim her to be, Cousin.”
“If I require yer opinion on the matter, I’ll ask for it.”
“I’ll speak freely with ye, Alex, or not at all. Is it worth all the trouble? Torturing the lass, yerself?”
“I dinna start this,” Alex spat. “She did. John did.”
“And Laird John paid dearly for his part. He’s dead and buried. Will ye sacrifice the woman ye love to satisfy yer sick need for revenge?”
Alex burned to settle the argument with fists not words. But Keely … he couldna put her down. “Enough!” He dinna love Keely. That much he knew. But he did feel something for her…
Jamie held his hands up in mock surrender. “As ye command, milord.” His cousin’s words were thick with sarcasm.
“Tread carefully in the future, Jamie. Now why are ye here?”
“The council is waiting for ye.”
Another opportunity for Mathe to preach to him about his lack of morals, or for Father Michael to advise him on how to save his soul? Alex had done his penance by accepting the lairdship. The council existed at his pleasure. A tradition generations of MacKay lairds had honored. The people deserved representation, and if anyone had a concern, they could reach out to a council member who, in turn, would present the issue to Alex. But if they continued to abuse their power, Alex would dissolve the council.
“Ye should take her inside,” Jamie said.
Alex nodded and tapped her cheek. “Keely? Can ye hear me, lass?” She dinna move. “Keely?”