When Your Novel Strikes Back

by Heather Lawson

When Your Novel Strikes Back

  Heather Lawson

  Copyright © 2013 Heather Lawson

  www.heatherlawsonwrites.com

  Chapter the First – We Did What Now?

  “Guys, it can’t be that hard to think up an idea,” Ayesha said, resting her head on the table and tapping the end of her pencil as she looked up at her friends.

  Ally and Heather glanced at Ayesha from where they were sitting, hunched in front of a computer screen. A blank document was sitting in front of them, the little curser blinking at them, taunting them. They were trying to think up an idea for a novel that they could write together, they had been planning it for some time now.

  “If it’s so easy, why don’t you think of something?” Heather said, rolling her eyes at Ayesha.

  “Nah,” Ayesha said, dropping her pencil and reaching for the snacks that Ally had prepared. “That was supposed to be your job.”

  “We never said that, we’re meant to be doing this together.”

  “We are,” Ayesha said through a mouthful of food. “I’m sending you encouragement telepathically.”

  She waved her hands above her head and then wiggled them in the other two’s direction. They looked at each other and then back at her.

  “Alright fine,” she said, bringing her chair over to join them without actually getting off it. “Why don’t we just start with a character?”

  “Alright,” Heather said, hands hovering over the keyboard ready to type. “What’s their name? What do they look like?”

  “Let’s see, a girl, she’s tall,” Ayesha began. “Blue hair, purple eyes and her name is Crast I. Nation.”

  Ayesha sat back in her chair and picked up a slice of pizza, pleased with the character she had just created.

  “As in procrastination?” Ally said, a small smile playing across her face.

  “Exactly,” Ayesha beamed.

  Heather stared at them blankly for a moment and then turned back to the screen.

  “So… uh, what does Miss Nation do?” she asked.

  “Let’s see,” Ayesha said, pretending to stroke her chin thoughtfully. “She’s a lion tamer but she hates cats and the lions just scare her. She screams really loudly anytime one comes near her.”

  Heather typed this new information as quickly as she could, trying not to leave out anything that Ayesha was saying.

  “She especially doesn’t like it when they roar,” Ayesha continued. “She runs away from them if they do.”

  “Uh… right,” Heather said, finishing up what she was typing. “Anything to add Ally?”

  Ally thought about it carefully, wanting to add something just as interesting as Ayesha’s character into the mix. She reached over to the table to grab a slice of the pizza but knocked over a glass of water instead, spilling it onto the pizza. Her eyes lit up as she got an idea.

  “Heeeeeeeeeey, that’s not a bad idea,” she said to herself, turning to the others and grinning.

  “What’s not a bad idea?” Heather asked, almost fearful of the answer.

  “What if we had a pizza that turned into PacMan when it comes in contact with water?” Ally said, grabbing a slice of the soggy pizza. “Instead of those little dot thingies it eats people and it can’t go off the road. It has to follow roads.”

  “But what does that have to do with Crast I. Nation and her lions?” Heather asked, trying not to smile as Ally and Ayesha’s ideas flowed onto the page in front of her.

  “Well, maybe Crast hides in a diner to get away from the lions and she orders a pizza but when it gets to her table a lion jumps up against the window and she knocks her glass onto the pizza like I did and then her pizza comes alive!” Ally had to take a few deep breaths after saying this, it was as though she had forgotten to breathe.

  “I like the sound of that,” Ayesha said, nodding.

  “Yeah, me too,” Heather finally admitted, smiling at the others.

  “So, what are you going to add to it?” Ayesha asked Heather.

  “Let’s see, what can I throw into the mix?” Heather said, looking over what she had already written. “Okay, let’s see, how’s this?”

  She started typing furiously, Ayesha and Ally leaned closer to the screen on either side of her trying to read what she was writing.

  “A young boy, maybe twelve, has gained all the powers in the universe but only likes to use one spell, conjuring cheeseburgers out of thin air,” Ayesha read off the screen. “And his name is Pip.”

  “That’s amazing!” Ally said, laughing as Ayesha read.

  “So how does he fit in?” Ayesha asked.

  “He’s a boy with all the power in the universe, he can just wander in and do stuff,” Heather said, laughing.

  “Alright, enough planning for now,” Ally said, swinging her chair away from the computer. “It’s time for eating!”

  They all agreed, stomachs rumbling. Heather saved their document and was the last one to the table. She was looking forward to having a piece of the pizza that Ayesha and Ally had already had. She looked over the entire table but couldn’t see any slices left, she glared at the other two, who were tucking into the baked goods that Ally had made earlier.

  “Where’s the pizza guys?” she asked, trying not to sound annoyed. “You didn’t eat it all already, did you?”

  “No, I only had a slice,” Ally replied.

  “Me too,” Ayesha chimed in.

  “Well then where did it go?!” Heather said, looking under the table.

  “The box is there, maybe someone stole it,” Ayesha said, picking the box up to look underneath it.

  “Why would someone steal our pizza?” Heather asked.

  “To experiment on it!” Ayesha said, dropping the box dramatically.

  “Yeah, right,” Heather rolled her eyes. “Like that would happen.”

  “It might,” Ayesha said, shrugging and picking up another brownie.

  “Hey, did you guys hear that?” Ally said, looking around the room, interrupting their argument.

  “Hear what?” Heather and Ayesha asked in unison.

  “I thought I heard something moving over there,” Ally said, pointing behind them.

  Heather turned to look.

  “I don’t see anything,” she said, turning back to the food.

  Ayesha joined Heather and together they started to empty the plates of whatever was left on them. Ally was still staring at the spot behind them, positive that she had heard something and determined to see what it was. A strange shadow appeared on the wall she was watching, moving steadily out of the darkness and towards where they were sitting.

  “Uh… guys?” Ally said, her eyes wide as she stared at the creature sliding towards them.

  “What?” Heather asked, looking up from her food briefly.

  “There’s a… a…” Ally said, pointing behind them again.

  Heather and Ayesha turned slowly as a shadow loomed over them. Their eyes grew as wide as Ally’s as they noticed a large pizza looming over them, it had eyes that were staring at them and it appeared to have grown sharp pizza teeth. Heather couldn’t help but think it reminded her of PacMan. They barely had a moment to think when it lunged towards them.

  “Move!” Heather shouted, shoving Ayesha out of the way.

  The pizza crashed into the table, sending tomato sauce squirting everywhere.

  “See?! Someone did experiment on our pizza!” Ayesha shouted.

  Heather wiped some of the sauce off her glasses, just in time to see it moving towards her.

  “Wacca wacca wacca wacca” the pizza said as it slid towards her.

  “Get it away from me!” she screamed.

  “I’ll save you!” Ayesha shouted, jumping on top of
the pizza and clinging to it as it flailed about.

  “Guys, guys!” Ally shouted, trying to get everyone’s attention.

  Everyone froze and looked at her, the pizza included. She took a deep breath and looked at the strange scene in front of her.

  “I’m sure it’s not that bad,” she said, walking up to the pizza and helping Ayesha to the floor. The pizza was gigantic and towered over all of them. Ally reached up to it and gently stroked it along the crust. “It’s so cute, can we keep it?”

  “You’re kidding, right?” Heather said, getting up from the floor. “It tried to eat us!”

  “I’m sure it didn’t mean to,” Ally said, staring at Heather with puppy dog eyes. “We can call him Fluffy.”

  “I like the sound of that actually,” Ayesha said, licking some of the tomato sauce from her hands.

  Heather looked at her friends and then back at the pizza, who appeared to be as confused as she was. She shrugged and made her way back to the table.

  “I’m not going to look after it,” she said. “You can do that.”

  “Yay! Thank you Heather!” Ally said, jumping up and down beside the pizza.

  Fluffy seemed to have caught some of Ally’s excitement as it started to jump up and down too, causing the floor to shake. Ally quickly calmed Fluffy down and then fed it some of the food that was still on the table. Ayesha joined them at the table and then fiddled with her pencil again. Fluffy slid over to a corner of the room and lay down, growling slightly and keeping an eye on the three of them. Heather kept an eye on Fluffy too, there was something not right about him.

  “Are either of you wondering how he actually came to be...like that?” Heather asked, gesturing in Fluffy’s direction.

  “Does it matter?” Ayesha said. “He’s cool! As long as he’s not trying to eat us.”

  Heather shook her head. A scream from outside caught her attention. The three of them rushed to the window and looked out onto the street. Their mouths dropped as they noticed a lion running down the middle of the road chasing a woman, a woman with blue hair.

  “Help me! I can’t stand lions!” the woman shouted to them as she noticed them hanging out of the window.

  “What’s your name?” Heather found herself shouting.

  “Does that really matter right now?!” the woman shouted back.

  “Just tell us!” Heather replied.

  “Crast!” the woman replied, dodging the lion by hiding behind a car. “Crast I. Nation.”

  Heather turned to the others, her eyes wide and mouth hanging open.

  “It’s got to be a joke, right?” she said to the others.

  Neither of them gave a reply. Heather turned away from the window and headed back to the computer. She brought up their planning document and scanned the info on it.

  “It can’t be,” she said. “They’re exactly like the things we came up with earlier!”

  “But what about your creation? The cheeseburger bo—” Ally began but was silenced by a cheeseburger hitting her face. “What the...?”

  Heather joined them at the window once more and her mouth hung open once again as she noticed what was happening outside. It had started to rain cheeseburgers. Crast was still hiding behind the car, trying to shield herself from both the cheeseburgers and the lion, and there was a boy walking up the middle of the street. He caught one of the cheeseburgers and took a bite out of it, a large satisfied grin spreading over his face. Heather retreated into the room once more, quickly followed by Ally and Ayesha.

  “Guys, what’s happening?” Heather asked, looking at the others.