“Sorry.” Aaron smiled sweetly, rubbing the back of his neck. “W-Why are you talking about condoms?”
Angie gripped two fistfuls of her hair and bent over in a low groan, completely embarrassed. June had no idea why. It was just Aaron.
“She needs condoms,” he said. “But can’t buy them because everyone around here is up in each other’s business and will rat her out to her mom.”
“Oh.” Aaron blinked, strange look flickering across his face. “Well, I can buy them if you want?”
Angie perked up immediately, eyes round with surprise and triumph. She shot June a satisfied smirk, patted Aaron on the shoulder and flipped her hair back. “Aaron’s my new best friend now. You’ve been demoted.”
Aaron laughed as she linked their arms together at the elbows and marched away from him, farther down the aisle toward the more personal selection of items. June followed a few steps behind, heart warmed by the friendship between those two. Angie and Aaron were very different people to him, but they were both equally as important. He enjoyed how well they got along, which said something because he’d always been rather hostile toward other people interfering with their dynamic.
They stopped in front of a small section of wooden shelves and glanced up and down at the products. There were only two or three different brands, and none of them gave any indication of being better than the others. They were all overpriced.
Aaron crossed his arms behind his back and waited patiently for Angie to make a decision. June watched her move to grab a box and then hesitate as if it would bite her.
“Just pick the smallest ones they have and get on with it.”
She threw him a dirty look over her shoulder but otherwise ignored the comment.
“I guess I don’t know what Charlie would like…”
June wanted to crack more jokes and be a shithead, but the way Aaron contemplated her options made him self conscious. He looked completely content with the situation, which was very unlike him. Normally, Aaron got all flustered and blushed at the mention of sex or anything regarding it. June wasn’t used to this straight-faced and serious expression.
Aaron reached out and plucked a yellow box from the top shelf, turned it over to read something on the back, then held it out to Angie.
“I think these will be good.”
Confused, June shoved his way in between the two of them and snatched the box from him.
“What do you mean they’ll be good? How would you know?”
The box was as basic as it could get. It read ultra ribbed and lubricated but gave no indication of size. June scrunched his nose up a little, offended that it wasn’t more offensive.
“Arco buys those,” Aaron paused. “Well, he buys the extra-large ones, but same brand.”
June shook his head. “You shouldn’t know your cousin’s cock size.” Although he was quite happy to have that little nugget of information. Of course, Arco has a big dick. He’s perfection.
June handed the box to Angie, and she stared at it. Turned it over in her hands and shook it just for good measure. “I guess these will do. Thanks, Aaron.” She passed it back to him. “I’m gonna go wait outside while you check out.”
God, they needed to work on not being such awkward teenagers.
“Yeah, yeah. No problem.” Aaron smiled, and June got the feeling he was just happy to help people in any way he could. Because he was too nice. Stupidly nice.
They stood there together watching Angie flee the shop, very different expressions on their faces. June didn’t want to think too hard about how much easier Aaron had made this situation for her, let alone him. Not to mention, he found Aaron’s confidence endearing and attractive.
“I can’t believe she’s gonna fuck him.” June sighed, turning to walk away.
Aaron caught him by the elbow. Why did people always catch him by the elbow?
“June,” Aaron murmured, waited until he turned to meet his gaze. There was something almost despondent and sad behind his green eyes. He ran his palm up June’s bicep and then dropped it.
June wished he could say he didn’t know what was coming, but he did. He also wished he could say he hadn’t been waiting to see if Aaron would make a suggestion.
“Do you…” and there it was. The blush June had been expecting earlier. Aaron gestured with his chin toward the shelf. “Do you want to, you know, get some?”
June pinched his lips together and covered his mouth with his hand to stop from saying something atrocious. The crickets in his stomach leaped madly.
“Not that I think we should do anything now,” Aaron backpedaled, voice kicking up an octave. “But I just thought, maybe you might want to…later on, or…or—”
June stepped closer to him and gripped his wrist to stop the nervous slew of words. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, considering the offer.
They hadn’t fooled around again like they had back at the hotel room, so it seemed very forward of Aaron to come right out and ask for sex, but June knew it was only with the best intentions. Aaron would never try and force him to do something he didn’t want to. Which wasn’t to say June didn’t want to. No. Of course, he wanted to. He was a horny teenage boy, and he’d been thinking about it on and off for three days.
The problem was the more physical their relationship got, the guiltier June felt. It was one thing to harbor feelings for another person, but it was entirely different to give your body to them. That involved trust and unspoken promises. Deeper feelings. Memories to be made…
June opened his eyes and met Aaron’s gaze; saw that pleading puppy look and knew he wasn’t going to win this round. He reached up to grab another one of the yellow boxes. Tapped it against Aaron’s chest twice.
“I’m gonna go wait outside with Angie.” He swallowed. “Make sure you get lube.”
Aaron purchased the items with a smile and a quick swipe of his debit card, hoping the lady at the register didn't see right through him.
He’d bought condoms once or twice before; when he made the mistake of asking Arco if he needed anything from the market, but that didn't make this time any easier. At least back then he’d had a cart-full of items to help hide the scandalous little box—this time he had nothing of the sort. He made sure to bag them himself with paper so people wouldn’t know what was inside, and left as quietly as he could.
June and Angie leaned against the front of her truck talking in fast whispers, hands wildly gesturing until they saw him and straightened. They flashed him two identical, cheesy smiles.
“There’s another bonfire this weekend,” Angie began, looking a little guilty. “Do you want to go?”
Aaron couldn’t understand why she would look at him like that, but maybe it had to do with the fact that he held her ticket to getting laid. Either way, like the last time they went to a bonfire, Aaron would have to be excluded. His heart sank heavy in his chest, and he looked at June for some solace.
He’d never asked June to keep his secret from anyone else. But obviously, he had. And for that Aaron was thankful. However, Angie was his friend now too. He trusted her and knew she wouldn’t think less of him—she was hardly capable of thinking less of anyone.
He hugged the brown bag close to his side in one arm and rubbed nervously at his neck. Shifted from foot to foot and decided it would be better to get this over with now than drag it out. He’d learned his lesson doing that with June.
“Well, actually, Angie…I-I can’t go.”
Her face fell instantly. Genuine disappointment.
“It’s not that I don’t want to,” Aaron reassured, making sure she looked him in the eyes so she could see the truth there. “I really honestly do. But I’m…afraid of the dark.”
Angie’s reaction was the polar opposite of the one he’d received from June some weeks ago. While he’d been spitting mad and positive Aaron was lying to him, Angie looked like she wanted to reach out and hug him. The pity in her eyes was an unwelcome thorn in his side. He didn't need it.
Honestly, Aaron didn’t like people being overly sensitive toward him just as much as he didn't like people being mean to him. In fact, he didn't know which reaction was worse.
“I didn’t know that,” she said, glancing at June who merely shrugged. She turned back to Aaron, looking even more sorrowful, “I’m sorry, Aaron.”
He shook his head and forced a smile. “It’s okay, really.” It wasn't. “I’ve been like this my whole life. I’m used to it.”
She leaned against her truck and crossed her arms, mimicking June’s position and frowning. “Still. We want you to be there with us. It sucks.”
It was hard to believe in all nineteen years of Aaron’s life he’d never had friends like this before. Sure, he’d made friends from time to time, but they were always fleeting and short-lived. Sometimes moving to another school or falling into a different crowd; never sticking around long enough to get to know the real him. The people he’d told about his phobia always treated him differently afterward, sometimes even violently. He’d grown used to expecting the worst, and it had been the bane of his existence for so long it was no wonder he didn’t know how to react now.
June and Angie weren’t any different than the people he’d told previously, but somehow Aaron knew they weren’t going to back out on him and leave, which was both baffling and frightening. Was it because they were getting older? A maturity thing? The ability to accept differences between each other and appreciate them nonetheless? Or was it because they did fit together like puzzle pieces? Seamless, easy friendship clicked together tightly. Something that would stand a testament of time and space even after this summer?
Aaron looked at Angie, who’s warm chocolate eyes blinked thoughtfully back at him, and he hoped he wouldn’t lose her. He’d miss her smile and enthusiasm. He’d miss the animated way she spoke, her careful compassion and sense of humor. He’d miss the way she complimented June; reigned him in and doused him in so much love and affection he couldn’t possibly be prickly toward her.
Aaron looked at June and knew that if he lost him, it would break his heart. This summer would end, and even the thought of June going back to North Carolina alone hurt more than he ever imagined it could. He didn’t want to think about how their dynamic would change over a long distance. He didn’t want to think about the commitment it would take to stay together, or if that was something June even wanted. He didn’t want to think about missing June. Not now. Not ever.
That was a conversation he’d never be ready to face.
“You know what?” June said, cutting off the awkward silence hanging between the three of them. He gave Angie a nudge. “Fuck the bonfire. We’ve done that a million times. Why don’t we do something different? All of us.”
Angie gave him a tentative, careful look, and sighed. A small but sad smile played at her lips.
“You’d really miss a chance to go drinking and skinny dipping in the middle of the night?”
June rolled his eyes and shrugged. If he was upset about missing those things, he hid it very well. Aaron’s stomach was full of cotton. Something soft and fluffy inside of him he could bat away but couldn't fully escape. Not altogether unpleasant but definitely weird.
“You guys,” he murmured. “I don’t want you not to go just for me. I can stay home. It’s not a big deal.”
June’s blue eyes flashed, something of a challenge. “We don’t want to go without you.”
“That’s true,” Angie said. “I think doing something else together would be more fun. I would just feel bad the whole time knowing you were at home by yourself anyway.”
Aaron’s heart swelled and overflowed. He kicked the dirt around under his feet, overwhelmed with their understanding and acceptance. He almost believed he didn’t deserve it.
“Alright,” he allowed, and couldn’t help himself. He wrapped Angie in a quick, tight hug, unsure who needed it more. “Thanks.”
June surprised him by jumping into their embrace. Arms thrown over their shoulders and head pressed in close. With the summer sun glaring down on them. Aaron felt warm, both inside and out.
“Come on.” Angie took the paper bag from Aaron as they broke apart and tossed it into the passenger seat through her truck window. “You guys can ride in the back if you want. Just keep your heads down, so no one sees!”
After the argument June had with Aaron on the way back from Ventura, he’d decided it was better not to bring up his fear of the dark for the sake of keeping them on good terms. However, seeing him stand there and tell Angie he couldn’t go to the bonfire, looking upset and sorry, lit a fire under June so fierce he couldn’t contain it.
It was a tremendous shame Aaron was afraid of the dark. Not because it wasn’t reasonable or rational—June understood people had PTSD in many forms—but because Aaron was going to miss out on so many things in life. Hell, half of the splendor and glory that came with summer vacation happened at night. Would Aaron really never feel the coolness of the mountain air after a day of relentless sun? Or go skinny dipping in the privacy of dark water? Or have s'mores around a campfire?
He was missing out on the moonlight casting brilliant white light across an ebony lake, and billions of stars twinkling in the night sky. The way it felt to breathe easy with nothing but nature and good friends around you. To lose track of time and all responsibilities before the sun came up.
If there was anything June wanted to give Aaron, it was the chance to experience those things with him. To hold onto those moments as memories and look back at them without fear. He wanted Aaron to be able to say he did it, not that he only wished he had.
June recognized the fact he’d never dealt with something like this before, and no matter what he did, he knew he would have to talk to Aaron about it first. Even at the risk of putting a strain on their fragile relationship. Aaron might get upset, but acknowledging the problem would probably be the hardest step of…whatever process they would have to take to get him to overcome his fear.
Making Aaron want to win this battle was going to take tact and patience; two things June wasn’t great at. Especially when applied together.
After racking his brain for the right words and a very thorough conversation about it with his cat, June decided he was ready to embrace the topic once more. He waited in the back room, sprawled on the bed in nothing but an old pair of gym shorts, and waited until he heard the shower water turn off from beyond the bedroom wall.
There was something heavy like anticipation in the air, and June wasn’t sure if it came from his mind, or from within the innocent brown bag sitting on his nightstand. The idea of lube and condoms at arm’s length made him both uneasy and excited. He wondered how many nights they would last together before breaking into it. He also wondered, with a skip of his heart and shaky breath, what Aaron would feel like surrounding him.
For a fleeting moment, June got lost in his dirty thoughts. He smothered his face with a pillow when the bathroom door finally opened, and Aaron poked his head in.
“Having a good time?” He snorted.
June sat up and flipped the pillow behind his head. Landed back on it with a huff. His face was hot.
“You should have put the bag in the drawer, Aaron.”
Aaron was in boxers and a soft, pale blue T-shirt that hugged his chest nicely. Damp hair in a mess, the previous sunburn faded to a light tawny color. Smile perfect as usual. If June didn’t have other ideas of how this evening would go, he’d be more than willing to tear into that paper bag.
However, instead, he had work to do. He shifted over to his side of the bed and propped himself up on his elbow. Placed his cheek in his palm and patted the space beside him. An invitation he knew Aaron wouldn’t refuse.
“Sorry?” He crawled over smoothly, yawning and stretching and then rolling to his back with a smug grin. His pretty green eyes were warm tonight, and deep like the lake.
June picked his hand up and brushed his fingers lightly along Aaron’s jaw and cheek. Tilted his chin up just a little a
nd then leaned down to kiss him. They’d shared a few brief and delicate kisses in the last few days, but something had stopped them from going further. Whether their insecurities or the desire to cling to what was both new and exciting, he wouldn’t know. But he did know tonight he could afford to spare a little more of his heart. Maybe it would soften Aaron up enough to get through the conversation he wanted to have.
So, June kissed him. Kissed him slow and steady until their mouths made little wet, squeaky sounds together. Kissed him until every bone in his body was weak and plaint and he whimpered. June didn’t stop until he absolutely had to for lack of oxygen.
They came away from each other breathless and unsteady, teetering on the edge of something deeper. More dangerous. Something resembling the lust they’d shared that night in the hotel room. June swallowed it hard, closed his eyes, and tried to refocus.
Not yet, not yet, not yet, not yet, not yet.
Aaron’s hand brushed up June’s arm, stopping at his shoulder and then trailing back down again.
“Why did you stop?” he asked, much more seriously than a moment ago.
June opened his eyes and wished he hadn’t. Aaron expression cut right through him. Longing and timid, but so, so overwhelming. June licked his lips and took a deep breath. Now was as good a time as ever.
“Please, don’t get mad…but I can’t stop thinking about your fear of the dark.”
Aaron stiffened, hand dropping from where it caressed June’s arm to the space of the bed beside him. The look of discomfort on his face was discouraging, but June persisted.
“Listen. It’s not that I want you to change. It’s just…”
“I know, June.”
“I don’t think you do.” He cleared his throat and sat up slowly. Crossed his legs under him and pulled the pillow into his lap so he’d have something to hold onto. From across the room, he caught Quail’s yellow eyes, round and critical.
To stop Aaron from saying anything else June continued; walked the narrow path through the crumbled, destroyed icy walls, and laid his heart out in the open. He felt like Aaron had finally thawed it.
The Maple Effect Page 29
