Saving Sam

by Lynnette Beers

  As an EMT, Sam knew Robert might not make it. All her mom told her on the phone yesterday was that Robert was with his friends Greg and Matt when a truck hit them as they were driving across a bridge over the river. Sam assumed Robert was drinking with his buddies from the canoe rental place where he worked part-time, the evenings during summer being when they would have a few beers after work before driving home.

  But this week Robert had so much to celebrate after buying the reptile shop from Mr. Rizzo. The highlight of Sam’s week was receiving a selfie of Robert as he held the key to the store and a placard that showed his name as the new owner. In his old Rizzo’s Reptiles baseball cap, Robert beamed like a little kid.

  “They’ve already done a few x-rays and two CT scans,” Jane said and stared at Robert. “There’s a small brain bleed but not as bad as I would’ve expected after an accident like this. They’re still assessing the injury to the spine. With these sorts of spinal injuries, a lot can change after the first couple days. The doctors aren’t sure about the extent of the paralysis, but right now, Robert is—”

  “He’s paralyzed?” Sam asked. “When will we know if he’ll ever walk again?”

  “The paralysis could be due to swelling from compressed nerves in the spinal cord. He could regain movement after the swelling goes down. I’ve seen improvement weeks later in some spinal cord injuries. Right now, we have to pray and wait. Honey, Robert is still alive. That’s what matters. This is proof that God was watching over him during the accident. This is a level two trauma center, the best place for Robert in this part of Mississippi.”

  Sam had seen several neck injuries when swimmers got pulled under the pounding surf or fell head first over the top of the wave—going over the falls, as lifeguards called it. From what Sam witnessed, spinal cord injury victims typically experienced tingling in the hands and feet; others had no sensation at all below the neck. The protocol for lifeguards was to stabilize the body by packing sand around the victim’s neck before the paramedics got there. The people she’d rescued who sustained neck injuries were strapped onto a rigid body board and taken by ambulance to the hospital—some regaining full movement and others not so lucky.

  Sam saved these people from drowning, but sometimes they ended up with a life wrought with daily suffering due to paralysis. A day at the beach and playing in the ocean for some beachgoers would sometimes lead to life-altering injuries, which changed the course of their lives forever. But the sort of accident that Robert endured was likely far worse than what a bodysurfer going over the falls experienced.

  “Anything could happen at this point,” Jane said, “as far as a shift in his progress. But besides the spinal cord injury, it’s hard to say what the time under the water without air did to him, what sort of neurological damage, if anything.”

  “Under water?” Sam said, quieting her voice and moving to the foot of the bed next to her mother. “First you’re telling me he may be paralyzed from a spinal injury, and now you’re saying he could have brain damage from being without oxygen? I thought Robert’s truck just hit the guardrail after a truck hit him head-on. Now he’s facing a spinal injury and brain hypoxia?”

  “Robert’s truck went through the guardrail, honey, and then into the river. The impact must’ve been intense, but they’re not sure where the truck hit him—if it was in the back, the side, the front. We don’t know yet, but based on his injuries, I’d say it must’ve been a head-on collision. Must’ve been driving mighty fast for that old Chevy to...well, to break through the metal siding on that bridge and end up in the Bouie River.”

  “Why didn’t he swim out of the truck? What about the person driving the other vehicle? Was the guy drunk?”

  “We don’t know all the details, but I’d imagine Robert was pinned in the truck...or unconscious after the collision and not able to swim to the surface. Since Greg wasn’t as badly hurt, he was able to pull Robert from the truck and get him out of the water before the paramedics got there. Greg said he attempted to do mouth-to-mouth but couldn’t revive him. Kept trying till the paramedics arrived, God bless him.”

  Sam knew that any average person could only stay under water for around two minutes, but Robert wasn’t an average person. He had the body and lungs of a twenty-year-old. She clung to the hope that Greg pulled him from the water in time before he’d hit the point when lack of oxygen caused his brain to start dying.

  “We’ll know more in the next few days as to—” Jane raised a hand to her mouth as she began to cry. “Well, we’ll know more...as to whether there’s been significant brain damage. For now, we need to make sure Robert gets the best care possible.”

  “How long was he without oxygen?”

  “They’re not sure. Could’ve only been a couple minutes...or much longer. The first forty-eight hours are the most crucial when it comes to this sort of brain trauma...or injury to the spine. Lord knows I’ve seen enough of these sorts of accidents when I worked in trauma. Greg and Matt aren’t as badly hurt since they were wearing seatbelts and Robert wasn’t, but the police want to talk to them some more and especially to the man driving the other truck, if they can find him. They’ve tested Robert’s blood alcohol level. Still waiting on those results at this point.”

  Sam leaned over the side of the bed to kiss Robert on the forehead. “I’m here, Robby. It’s Sam, I’m right here by your side.” She squeezed his hand and felt his fingers grip around her palm. “He squeezed my hand. I felt it.”

  “He’s been doing that since they moved him to ICU.” Jane straightened the collar of her shirt and cleared her throat. “It’s an involuntary reaction to stimuli. He’s in a drug-induced coma. They’re keeping him on fentanyl, propofol, and morphine for now. From a medical perspective, we won’t know the severity of the brain damage yet...or whether...he’ll even gain consciousness. It’s best to keep him sedated like this.”

  “So, he’s in a coma, a drug-induced coma.” Sam said it not so much for her mom to hear but more so to say it out loud, to try and make sense of what happened to her brother.

  “For now, yes. Honey, there’s something I haven’t told you.”

  “What is it? Did the CT scan show something worse than you already told me?”

  “The man driving the truck, well...he left the scene of the accident. Greg and Matt told the police that the guy drove right into Robert’s truck. No telling if the man was drunk or high. No way to know since he still hasn’t been found.”

  “A hit and run? Why haven’t they found him yet? Look what that guy did to Robert!”

  “They only have a description of a grey truck, possibly a Ford. They’re looking for him. Robert’s friends gave the police a good description of the man.” Jane held Sam’s hand; the two of them stood over the bed, quiet for a moment as they glanced at the damage this man had done to Robert.

  Jane smoothed the sheet over Robert’s body, running her hand through his hair then touching his face before standing closer to Sam. “Honey, have you eaten?”

  “Just a muffin and coffee on the plane.”

  “I’ll get you something from the cafeteria.” Jane bent down to kiss Robert’s cheek then squeezed Sam’s arm before leaving the sterile room.

  Relieved to have time alone with Robert, Sam studied the monitors next to the bed. BP: 100/69. Ox: 97. HR: 71. Temp: 37C. His temple had a gash in it, the skin gauzed and taped. Damp blood seeped through the dressing. A rigid neck brace from his chin down to his sternum made his entire body seem erect and unfamiliar to her. His right eye, swollen shut, seeped with what Sam thought could be tears. His left arm had a splint on it. She hovered over him, examining the tube in his mouth that led to the wide plastic tubing connected to the ventilator.

  “Robby, I’m here, and I’m not leaving your side. I’ll make sure you get the best care possible. I’m gonna help you get through this. You were there for me long ago. Now, it’s my turn. She shoved her hands in her pockets, feeling the oval pill she’d left there during the flight. Finger
ing the tablet, she considered taking it to calm her nerves. But here with Robert right now, she felt surprisingly calm despite what she feared could be a dire prognosis for her brother.

  Sam saw a clear plastic bag on the chair of Robert’s belongings. She pulled out his damp and ripped jeans, a gold chain with the cross that Grandma Cleveland gave him for his eighteenth birthday, and his cellphone. Because Robert was always in and out of the water launching and collecting canoes, he’d recently bought the most water-repellant cellphone case out there. The phone itself, some new water-resistant Samsung he bought early this year, appeared brand new. Robert lay here mangled and unconscious, but his phone was completely undamaged.

  She pried the waterproof casing off the phone, amazed that the phone battery still had life left and that the phone wasn’t waterlogged. She scrolled through photos he’d taken recently—some shots of kids in the canoes, a few of his coworkers, a bunch of the river and area where he worked, and a couple of the dirt parking lot where Robert’s old Chevy sat next to other dusty vehicles. In one photo, Robert was leaning against the passenger side door of his truck, smirking and flipping off whoever had taken the photo. She then glanced at the last few texts she and her brother wrote yesterday morning.

  Robert texted:

  Is she hot?

  Would I go for a woman who wasn’t hot?

  No, is she hot in bed, dumbass. I figured you wouldn’t date anyone not hot.

  Let’s just say Kim has got the moves. Never thought I’d date someone that young, but I’m seeing her again tonight. I’d rather just start the evening in bed, but I’ve arranged a proper date at the zoo. You know, dinner, a walk through the Reptile House, maybe a drink at her place, and then...well, you know.

  Good for you. Can’t wait to meet her. Maybe you can bring her out to Mississippi one day so I can see for myself if she’s good enough for my little sister. Well, and so I can see you, too. I miss having you here during late summer. You’d love the river right now. Lots of class two rapids. Warm water, great for canoeing.

  I’ve got my own fun here. There’s a huge swell right now that’s supposed to peak today. 15-foot waves, major rip currents, 73-degree water.

  Sounds gnarly, but I’ll stick with river rafting ;) You won’t ever catch me in that rough ocean. No fucking way! If I swam in those huge waves, it’d be just my luck to—

  The nurse then breezed into the room, so Sam put the phone back in the bag with the rest of Robert’s belongings. She gripped her hand around Robert’s. There’d be plenty of time later for her to reread those texts. Hunched over the side of the bed, Sam stroked Robert’s head and imagined breathing life back into him as he had done for her over twenty years ago.

  Chapter Three

  San Diego: Summer 1990

  SAM SQUINTED AT the sky ride overhead, the boxes connected to a thick cable and creating rectangular shadows on the pavement below. She leaned against her mama’s arm while she waited for her father and brother to come out of the Reptile House. She looked into the dark cave where the snakes and giant lizards were kept and wondered which reptiles Robert was looking at right now. A cool breeze from the exhibit wafted over her bare legs and arms. Nearby, a bright blue peacock squawked, its voice echoing all throughout the zoo.

  “They’ve been in there forever,” Sam whined and leaned against her mother’s hip. “When’re they coming out? You promised we could get snow-cones when they’re done.”

  “Samantha, don’t be leaning on me,” Jane said as she held Sam’s sweaty hand. “It’s too hot to have you so close to me right now.”

  “Maybe they’re lost. They’ve been in there for hours.”

  “For Pete’s sake, Samantha. We’ve only been standing here for fifteen minutes. You know this is Robert’s favorite part of the zoo. Honey, be patient and keep quiet.”

  Sam had only wandered into the Reptile House one time, and ever since, she preferred to be way on the other side of the zoo where the zookeepers fed the elephants and giraffes. When she went into the Reptile House that one time, she stood far from the snakes’ enclosures, not trusting that the thick glass was enough to protect her from the creatures. Robert assured her that no snake could get to her, that she was safe from a poisonous bite from the snakes. But he stood there—fearless and curious—with his hands and face pressed against the glass to get a close look at the critters.

  The Cleveland kids spent a few weeks each summer with their grandparents in the cooler climate of San Diego when the weather in Mississippi was too hot and humid. Sam’s parents joined them for only a couple weeks since that was all the time they could take off from work. Mama would return to her long shifts at the hospital, and Daddy would go back to patrolling the streets of Covington County. Law enforcement was in Harold Cleveland’s blood like it was for his father and grandfather—and so it would be for Robert once he graduated high school when he too would continue the long line of police officers in the Cleveland family.

  They’d be returning to Mississippi tomorrow to get Robert set up for starting high school next month. For the past few weeks, he’d been bragging to Sam about starting ninth grade, saying he wouldn’t have to walk with her to school every morning because his older buddies would be driving him to campus. Their return to Mississippi meant hot, humid weather, but Sam looked forward to being back home where Robert would build a raft out of logs and plywood. He promised to take her down the Okatoma Creek once the raft was finished.

  Sam leaned her head on her mama’s arm while people nudged in front of them to enter the Reptile House. All were going in there to see the twenty-five-foot python, the sidewinders, the poisonous frogs, and the flying lizards. Sam preferred to see reptiles only on the pages of Robert’s picture books. He had two large aquariums back home—one filled with water snakes, the other with lizards he’d found along the Okatoma. But Sam had only seen the reptiles from a distance.

  She thought the reptile enclosure at the San Diego Zoo was like an Egyptian labyrinth, filled with free-roaming snakes and lizards. She imagined that for an extra fee, guests could have the giant boa constrictor wrapped around them and get their picture taken. Someone would be picked at random from the crowd, choose a reptile of their choice, and feed it live rodents. Maybe Robert would get picked to do this.

  “Robby gets to go in the Reptile House,” Sam said and attempted to loosen her hand from her mom’s. “Why can’t I—”

  “You’re not to go in there. You know that. You don’t like the snakes.”

  “Now that I’m eight, I think I won’t be as scared.”

  “You’re eight by only a couple weeks, little one.” Jane kissed the top of Sam’s head and pulled her into a tight hug. “Grandma said last Sunday you were just as scared as ever of those snakes.”

  Since she felt too old for her mama to be holding her hand out in public, Sam attempted to loosen herself from her mother’s grip. She thought of freeing herself, running through the dark corridors of the Reptile House, and blindly searching for Robert as her eyes adjusted to the dim light.

  While she leaned against her mother’s hip, Sam glared at the sky ride overhead. The Skyfari ride wasn’t included in their regular zoo membership, so the Clevelands would usually just ride the tour bus or walk the grounds of the park, stopping at each pen to watch the bears or lions, but they always ended their visit standing outside the Reptile House while Robert went inside to study the snakes. Sam stared at the cable holding the boxes until the motion and sway of the ride overhead made her dizzy. Jane finally released Sam’s hand, but she remained next to her and leaned her head on her arm.

  “Mama?” Sam asked and paused before continuing. “What did Uncle John mean by being saved?” She usually daydreamed during her uncle’s boring sermons, but today she didn’t understand what he meant by being saved. Saved from what?

  “Well,” Jane said and looked down at Sam, “it means having a place to go after we die, being assured of an eternal lasting life in Heaven no matter what we’ve done
here on earth.”

  “Anyone can be saved? Even bad people can be saved?”

  “Sure, honey. Remember how Uncle John talked about redemption? About saving people and getting them to reach a point of atonement for a mistake or something bad they’ve done to others. Uncle John tries to save people.”

  “You save people who are sick or hurt.”

  “Well, yes, but redemption is different. Someone like Uncle John tries to get people to realize they need saving and to come to the Lord. Remember how Uncle John talked this morning about the benefits of redemption and how that includes eternal life through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ? This involves forgiveness of sins.”

  Sam thought about what her mother said and about what Uncle John said from the pulpit this morning. She still didn’t fully understand what it meant to be saved. She felt safe right here and now next to her mother and with her brother and father nearby in the Reptile House.

  It was a big word her uncle had used during the sermon this morning: Redemption. Sam couldn’t wait to add this word to her summer vocabulary list once she got back to Grandma and Grandpa’s house this evening. She’d put this new word between “redeem” and “reptilian.” She’d also add “atonement” at the top of her list and look it up once she got home. She’d learned so many words this summer. Feeling like she’d be the smartest one in her third-grade class in the fall, Sam was excited to share her list with her cousin Rachel once they returned to Mississippi.

  Jane took Sam’s hand. “Honey, we need to go. We’ve gotta get back to Grandma’s to pack.”