Saving Sam

by Lynnette Beers

  “Come on, let’s go,” Robert said and lifted her off the log. Setting his hand on her shoulder, he guided her into the shallow water. He splashed water onto his face, rinsing his mouth out.

  “Hold your hands way down low where it’s cold,” he said, gently pushing her wrists way below the surface and leading her into the deeper water. He hugged her body close to his.

  After her hands and wrists became numb from the cool water, Sam waded in the creek, the water soaking the hem of her sundress. Up to her waist now, the water washed off the dirt from her soiled dress. She shivered then stepped away from No Man’s Landing, inching closer to their house.

  Mama and Daddy wouldn’t know what happened if Sam carried on as if this were any ordinary afternoon. Tonight, her aunt and uncle and cousin Rachel were coming over to give her one of the new puppies. They’d all have dinner, maybe her mama’s chicken and dumplings and peach pie. The adults would talk about the kids going back to school next week, and Rachel and Sam would decide upon a name for the puppy. They’d do what they typically did during warm nights—have supper on the porch and listen to the distant trickle of the Okatoma. The grown-ups would talk about how nice it was to sit outside, the air not even cool enough for them to need sweaters.

  But right now, Sam wanted a warm jacket, one of her grandmother’s afghans, anything to warm her body.

  Chapter Twelve

  San Diego: Autumn 2014

  WITH THE WIND so still, the green flag atop the lifeguard station hung limply from the pole. Gentle waves sloshed onto shore as a lone seagull soared overhead. The ocean’s surface was glassy this morning, the air crisp for mid-September. Fall was finally in the air. Sam, donned in her usual long-sleeved white lifeguarding T-shirt, slumped on the seat atop the tower with a beach towel draped over her lap as she sipped a latte that Travis brought her. She stared at the water looking for any signs of swimmers in distress. Travis paced from one railing to the next as he too scanned the shoreline. Since this was his day off, he was in Hawaiian print board shorts instead of his usual red lifeguard shorts.

  Sam focused on the coastline, the tranquil water starting to lull her into a sleepy trance. The morning light cast a shimmery glow on the flat ocean, the water starting to swell as high tide approached. A long-distance swimmer far past the surf line stroked her arms as she swam along the coast. Past her, three dolphins sliced through the water, leaping in and out of the ocean. The breeze caused only a slight ripple on the surface, the water remaining glassy all morning. Perched on her tower, Sam peered down the coast, glancing at the vacant beach and the still water. The conditions seemed too calm today. Something was brewing.

  After Robert had been moved out of ICU and into the acute medical ward, Sam returned to San Diego to finish the lifeguarding season, but she told her mother she’d hop on a plane immediately if Robert showed any signs of decline. Not yet ready for the traumatic brain injury ward or an acute rehab hospital, Robert would remain in Forrest General for now. He hadn’t had any setbacks since he got the tracheostomy and G-tube and was then moved to the medical ward. No spike in heart rate. Stable blood pressure. No signs of infection. But also, no progress. Despite Robert getting some physical therapy to work his extremities, his muscles had atrophied, his legs dwindling down to skin and bone.

  With kids back in school, the beaches were no longer packed with families and paraphernalia. Far from the tower, a few lone beachgoers sat scattered across the sand, the shoreline mostly bare. A few morning walkers meandered in the shallow water. Now that summer hours were over, the lifeguards only guarded the beaches from ten until five o’clock on weekdays. The extra couple hours in the morning gave Sam more time on the trails or at the gym. Three and a half weeks in Mississippi had resulted in her muscles becoming soft and weak—but nothing like what her brother was experiencing from being bedridden and tube-fed for so long.

  Sam gulped the last of her latte, licking the foam from the inside of the lid. With her binoculars, she scanned the horizon for any indication that the surf would pick up. A boogie boarder in the surf zone struggled to catch a small wave, the man thrashing his legs to try and drop into the curl. But with only one- to two-foot surf today, the small breaker didn’t produce enough momentum for the man to be carried to shore. Travis chewed on sunflower seeds, spitting the shells into a paper cup as he sat back and set his feet on the metal railing.

  “Any idea when they’ll move Robert to a rehab hospital?” Travis asked.

  “They were hoping he’d be moved by now,” Sam said. “But the doctors and therapists say he’s not ready. So, I don’t know. Maybe in another couple weeks? If he continues to be stable, the plan is to transfer him to a skilled nursing facility, hopefully somewhere closer to home so my mom doesn’t have to keep making that drive to Hattiesburg each day.”

  “At least he’s stable right now,” Travis said and placed his hand on Sam’s arm.

  “To me, stable just means he’s still in pretty bad shape. I don’t really see him making any progress. The physical therapists work with him nearly every day, but he just lies there staring up at the ceiling. His eyes look so glassy and distant. He’s still pretty unresponsive.”

  “He still sedated?”

  “He’s on Keppra and Ativan, but that’s about it. They tapered him off the Ativan before they transferred him out of ICU, but they sensed he was agitated and put him back on it after they moved him upstairs.”

  “Probably best for now. Gotta think positive, Cleveland. Each good day is a step forward, right? It’s great having you back, even if it’s only for a few more weeks. Just like old times together guarding the beach, huh?” He nudged his shoulder into hers then laughed. “I still remember when you were a young rookie. All eager and itching to haul swimmers from the water, always volunteering to work the busiest towers. You outshined all the other rookies. Always can tell when we’ve got a good one. You were one of the best rookies that summer. But we sure did put you through the ringer the first summer you started.”

  “More like a hazing! You guys gave us all the grunt work. Remember that day you had me and that scrawny high-schooler digging trenches for the new towers? That kid was sweating and huffing the entire time. He up and quit before the day was over. I ended up digging most of those holes myself. Turns out I’d dug those holes for nothing when you told me the city said the towers weren’t approved yet.”

  “Can’t believe you fell for that.” Travis snickered and slapped his knee. He howled with laughter until his face turned bright red. “Oldest prank in the department. Yeah, I could tell you had it in you when you kept digging and wouldn’t stop until you’d finished the job.”

  “You kidding me? All these years, and you never fessed up? Y’all are jerks,” Sam said and rammed her fist into his arm. “You’re just like my brother sometimes.” She got quiet and searched the horizon for any signs of approaching waves, any indication that the breakers would increase in size.

  “Well, prank or not, you more than proved yourself. You ever thought of doing this full time? I mean, not just seasonal. We’re losing a couple supervisors at the end of the season. How does the title of lieutenant sound to you?”

  “You calling it quits, Miller? You one of the retirees?” Sam laughed then pushed herself up from the bench and leaned against the railing.

  “Hey, I’m not even close to retiring yet. I’ve still got another few good years left in me.”

  “Full time, huh? Guess I never applied because I’ve always been pretty set on med school. But here I am, thirty-two years old, and I don’t even have my bachelors yet. Kind of a long haul to get through med school and training. I should be in my residency by now.”

  “It’s still possible, kiddo. I didn’t get my bachelors until I was twenty-nine. But, if you’re serious about medical school, you have to start taking more than a couple classes per semester. Maybe your heart’s not in it?”

  “I always start the semester all enthusiastic and full of high hopes. I sign up fo
r a full load of classes but end up dropping down to only one or two. Seems I’d rather be training for a race or meeting women at the bar. Maybe I’ll tire of those sorts of things now that I’m in my thirties.”

  “Well, only by a couple years now. I changed a lot in my thirties. It’s like my perspective changed about having a family, settling down, looking toward the future, and thinking about all the other adult stuff.”

  “Having a family,” Sam huffed. “Seems like such a far-off concept for me now.”

  “It could happen. You might meet the right woman, fall in love, have a kid together. You never know. You’re young, kiddo. Your biological clock has got plenty of time left.”

  “Yeah, I suppose.” Sam pursed her lips then glanced up the shore to the wide, distant span of sand that seemed to stretch on forever. “I doubt I’ll ever tire of this, though. I mean, I can’t see myself ever not being a lifeguard. Maybe I’ll be guarding up into my sixties.”

  “You never know. I’m heading there myself with sixty sorta right around the corner for me. I mostly just ride around in a jeep all day and sit at the towers hanging out with you guys, but I’m still capable of pulling swimmers from rough surf. I was out there on those red flag days recently hauling swimmers from ten-footers just like you young guards. Hell, I’d say I’ve still got it at fifty-seven. At least for me, this is not just a job but a way of life. Always did have saltwater in my veins. Seems most people look at lifeguarding as only a summer job for teenagers or young adults. Not too many people realize we’re marine safety officers, too, and that this is a serious career.”

  “It’s always been more than a summer job for me. When I was in Mississippi these past few weeks, I craved this ocean. It’s like I was having withdrawals from not rescuing swimmers or being on the sand. The creek is a few paces from Mama’s house, but it’s just not the same as this. Also, becoming a doctor isn’t all that appealing to me now that I’ve seen the stuff they encounter in the ICU.”

  “I hear ya. When I did those ride alongs with the fire department and had a few shifts in the ER, I saw some crazy shit. I soon realized I didn’t want to be around all that blood and gore full time. We see our own share of gnarly accidents here at the beach. Neck injuries, dislocated shoulders, even the occasional heatstroke. But the life-threatening injuries aren’t a daily thing for us as they are for ER docs. Well, think about the lieutenant position. You say the word, and I’ll put in my recommendation that they consider you for the job.”

  “I guess I was always set on becoming Doctor Cleveland, but Lieutenant Cleveland sounds nice, too. Funny, I’d have the same title my father had toward the end of his career and also the same title Annie has now.” Sam chuckled and shook her head as she peeled off her T-shirt and draped it over the railing.

  “Haven’t heard you mention Annie in a long time.”

  Sam smiled and glanced at the tranquil ocean. Only a few swimmers were in the water. Right now, the surface was more like a lake than an ocean. Another long-distance swimmer swam parallel to shore, the water perfect for that sort of swim today. The skies were void of clouds, the still water reflecting the blue sky. Sam couldn’t shake the feeling that something was brewing—either out there in the ocean or back home with Robert. During her break today, she’d call the nurses’ station to get a detailed update on Robert’s condition.

  “Annie and I saw a lot of each other when I was back in Mississippi,” Sam finally said. “She came around quite a bit when I was there.”

  “Oh, really? You two reigniting any old embers? Have you and Annie gotten hot and heavy since you were back in Mississippi?”

  “Can’t say we were ever hot and heavy. Deeply sensual is more like it. And sweet and tender. Soft and passionate. Well, you get the picture.”

  “Indeed, I do,” Travis laughed and tossed a few more sunflower seeds into his mouth. “Sounds hot and heavy to this old married guy. You know, Maria and I have been together for a little over thirty years now. Love her even more than I did the day I married her. Three kids later, things have changed, but she’s still my girl. Sure, we’ve had our ups and downs, but our love is solid. Shit, I still find her sexy as hell.”

  “Maybe one day I’ll have what you and Maria have. Annie’s always been so attentive, so loving and consistent, I guess. Well, still is. It’s been nice having her nearby. She’s always been so...well, so right in some ways but also so wrong in others.”

  “You two always did have a good thing. Sometimes loving and consistent wins out over hot and heavy. Sad that she up and left to go back to the south. But I’m glad she’s there for you. Definitely consider that promotion. The closing date to apply is coming up. You’ve already got what we’re looking for—several years of experience, rough water training, EMT background, and...my recommendation.”

  “I’ll think about it. It depends on...well, how Robert is doing.”

  “Sure, yeah, I understand. One day at a time, as they say. You know, Cleveland, I need to say something that’s been on my mind since your brother was in this accident. I thought of texting you, but I knew it wouldn’t come out right through text.”

  Sam faced him, readying herself for whatever he was going to say. Always direct with her, Travis never minced his words. She stared at him until he finally continued.

  “Family is everything. I learned that the hard way after my dad had his heart attack. I used to put my job first, my family second. I mean, lifeguarding has been my life since I was sixteen. I flew up to be with my dad for the first few days after his heart attack, but I flew back home on a Friday because I felt I had to work on the weekend. Well, it was mid-summer, so you know how that is for lifeguards. Dad was stable when I left. Had no idea he’d have another massive heart attack. He passed two days after I’d flown back home. If I’d stayed through the weekend, I would’ve been with him when he passed. To this day I regret not being there.”

  Sam gazed at the tranquil ocean and considered what Travis said. The waves had decreased even more in size. The air started to warm up as the sun moved higher overhead. Sam cleared her throat and took a deep breath, her words carefully chosen as she fought off the tears. “Robert isn’t dying, at least not right now. Mama says if Robert was going to die, it would’ve been the night of the accident. The next milestone, if we want to call it that, was forty-eight hours later. Then we hit the three-day mark. Then a week. Robert is stable. He isn’t exactly thriving...but he’s stable. I can’t put my life on hold as I sit vigil next to his bed.”

  “Right, I get it. I guess you gotta figure out if this is as good as it gets for him. I know with my dad, I never imagined he’d pass so fast. I mean, my sisters and I wanted the doctors to do all they could to keep my dad alive, but we also knew how damaged his heart was. Plus, he was way too weak for any kind of heart surgery. My mom knew my dad had a DNR, but she still wanted the doctors to do all they could to revive him. I’m not saying your brother is in the same situation as my dad, but I guess I’m just saying that you have to figure what Robert would want.”

  Sam knew what Robert would want. She knew this with certainty. Still unclear whether the brain damage resulted in him being in a complete vegetative state, Sam knew that this wasn’t living to Robert. Even if he did have some awareness of what was going on, he wouldn’t want to be dependent on machines to keep him alive. He couldn’t even feed himself. He’d never be able to take his raft down the river or hunt for snakes along the riverbanks. He’d never even be able to handle the snakes and lizards in his new reptile shop. In an instant, that man took all that away from Robert. There still hadn’t been any significant progress in the investigation, but Annie texted her each day with updates, even if the update was to say they had no new leads.

  “Well, euthanasia isn’t exactly legal in the state of Mississippi,” Sam finally said, her eyes filling with tears. She put on her sunglasses and peered down the coast, ensuring that no beachgoers were hurt or doing anything unlawful. “Plus, Robert doesn’t have an advanced dire
ctive. My mom is fighting to get Robert better. He’s in a level two trauma center, the best hospital in the area for his type of injuries. At this point, there’s no way Mama would go for any sort of measures to not sustain his life. She doesn’t seem to realize that he’s never going to be the Robert he was before.”

  Travis stood next to Sam, pulling her into a tight sideways hug. “I’m here for you, kiddo. No matter what. Hey, how about you come over for dinner one night this week? You could bring that new girlfriend. We can have a couple beers, grill some steaks, shoot some pool.”

  “Not sure if we’re at the stage of me bringing her to barbeques at your house yet.” Sam smiled then thought about how she’d hopefully be able to see Kim soon. They hadn’t seen each other since before Sam went back to Mississippi, and at this point, the craving for Kim’s body had intensified.

  “Well, then maybe just you. Maria would love to see you anyway. But, remember, I’m only a text or a phone call away, no matter if it’s here in San Diego or when you’re back in Mississippi.”

  Sam took a deep breath and focused on the glassy ocean. Even though this was a slow morning, she still had to be on her toes in case anyone got injured, but her muscles felt sore—partially from the intense workout she did last night and from sitting here for a couple hours not doing anything more than chatting with Travis. Sam tossed her shades onto the bench then stepped down the metal slats of the tower leading to the sand. She hopped off the bottom rung of the ladder and grabbed her fins and rescue tube.

  “Gonna go cool off,” Sam said and meandered to the water’s edge.