Saving Sam

by Lynnette Beers

  “Yeah, maybe so. I guess I’ll see what happens once I get back. She’s sent me some...fun texts lately, so maybe there’s still something there.”

  “Ah, so a little fun sexting going on?”

  “Something like that. I’m just not sure I can keep up with her. Was I ever...that energetic? Seems she’s got a one-tract mind.”

  “Oh? On what, Sam?”

  “Not what you think. She’s obviously hot and eager as far as that goes, but...she’s so into training for her races. I don’t recall being so...hyperfocused or shallow at her age.”

  “You weren’t. I wouldn’t have asked you out if I thought you were shallow.”

  The two of them became quiet. The raft sloshed forward. Sam fought against the current and veered to the left. They soon neared the bridge where Robert’s truck had careened into the water. Sam recognized Jane’s old Buick and Travis’s rental car parked at the end of the bridge. He and Jane stood there as Sam used all her strength to fight against the current and guide the raft to shore. She stepped onto the muddy bank and helped Annie do the same. After she wedged the raft far up on the riverbank, Sam took Robert’s hat and stepped back into the water.

  “I’ll meet you up on the bridge,” Sam said and took another step into the frigid water.

  “Sam, what are you doing?” Annie leaned forward and tugged on Sam’s T-shirt.

  “Annie, go to the bridge. I’ll be right there.” Sam by now was up to her knees in the river.

  “The water is rough here. You can’t go in there.”

  “Please, just go. I’ll be fine.” The water slapped against Sam’s thighs, but she continued to hold onto Robert’s hat. With both hands gripped on the bill of the cap, she stared at the insignia. Robert wore this hat so many times that the bill had worn down so that it fit perfectly around the contours of his head. Sam ran her finger along the words on the cap. It was uncertain what they’d do with Rizzo’s Reptiles since Robert had no will and hadn’t made any sort of arrangements as to what would happen to the shop. For now, Mr. Rizzo went back to running the store but promised Jane and Sam he’d share the profits with them until legal arrangements were made.

  Sam took another step into the river. She shivered now that the water was up to her waist. She set the baseball cap on the surface and let it go. Slow at first, the cap barely moved until the river caught hold of it. As her eyes filled with tears, she guided the cap to the stronger current. Up to her chest in the icy water, her body became numb, but she knew she needed to make sure the cap floated in the stronger current. She felt a strong surge pull her forward, but she kept her feet firmly secured. She stared at the cap as it cruised down the river a few feet. Then she took a couple steps backward and returned to the shore.

  After she exited the water, she strode along the riverbank and made her way to the bridge. She never took her eyes off the cap while it bobbed on the surface and floated away. Surprised that it hadn’t sunk, Sam watched it move steadily along the river. She kept her eyes on the bright green snake emblem as the hat traveled downriver. Within a couple minutes, she joined Jane, Annie, and Travis on the bridge.

  The cap floated beneath them, momentarily disappearing as it made its way to the other side where it drifted for a few more yards. Sam kept her eyes on the hat until it disappeared entirely from her view. Then she removed the small urn from her pocket and pried off the lid and handed it to her mother.

  “Honey, you should be the one to do this.” Jane set the urn in Sam’s hand then wrapped her arm around her waist and held her tight.

  Sam glanced behind her to see the shiny new guardrail where Robert’s truck had descended into the river. With her hand gripped around the tiny urn, Sam crossed over to the other side. She stood on the ledge and peered down into the water. Jane, Annie, and Travis stood nearby and remained quiet.

  “Seems fitting that he’ll always be part of this river,” Sam said and shook the urn until the fine powdery cremains scattered in the wind. The ashes fell like snow into the water.

  Sam squinted at the ripples—Robert’s cremains already blended in with the water. The current never ceased. The sun soon dipped down to the horizon and cast golden strobes across the river, creating shimmering flecks of light on the surface.

  Epilogue

  San Diego: Summer 2015

  THE JEEP ROLLED across the sand and hit ruts and small rocks along the way. Sam gripped the door handle and glanced out the window. Even though it was about an hour until sunset, beachgoers still covered the beach with their chairs and towels. This was one of the hottest days all season. Mid-August heatwaves always packed the beaches. With only one- to two-foot waves today, there hadn’t been any exciting rescues or dangerous situations until Sam and Travis got the call from dispatch just now.

  “How far up did they say it was?” Sam asked, excited to finally have an emergency that required her assistance.

  “Way up by headquarters.” Travis slowed down and maneuvered around dips in the sand. “By the way, you still need to make next month’s schedule.”

  “I’ll do that tomorrow. Never thought my position as lieutenant would be so sedentary. I’m in the office more than I am on the sand. So, someone got hurt, you said?”

  “All they said was that a woman is in distress.” Travis shrugged and stared straight ahead, slowing down as a couple kids darted across the sand toward the water.

  “They didn’t tell you anything else? Is it heatstroke? A jellyfish sting? Heart attack?” Sam asked, her voice escalating with each question. “Maybe it’s a dislocated shoulder or some kind of laceration. Did they call the paramedics?” Sam hoped it was something serious, some sort of action that would get her adrenalin pumping. Bored and antsy from being at a desk so much at the main lifeguard station this week, Sam felt pumped and eager to put her lifeguarding skills to work.

  “They said it’d be enough with just us there. I guess we’ll know more when we get there.” Travis thrummed his fingers on the steering wheel and whistled an unfamiliar tune.

  Sam glared at Travis and wondered what got him so giddy. “You’re pretty chipper today. You got big Friday night plans with the wife?”

  “Yup, celebrating our anniversary. I’ve got reservations at the Marine Room.”

  Sam admired Travis and Maria for the type of love and commitment they shared, but she thought about how unlikely it’d be for her to ever find someone again who totally got her, someone who would love her no matter what. “How many years have you been married now? Thirty-one?”

  “Thirty-two.” Travis beamed and glanced at Sam for a moment. “She’s still the love of my life.”

  “You two give me hope, but with my track record, I’m not so sure I’ll ever reach thirty-some years with anyone.”

  “Never say never. I take it things with Kim are over?”

  “It’s been over for weeks now. Just haven’t had a chance to fill you in on my dating life. Didn’t think you’d be interested in hearing that I got bored with her.” Sam pursed her lips and stared out the window and thought about how free she felt since she stopped dating Kim, relieved that she no longer had to deal with the drama of dating someone so young and busy.

  “I kinda figured things had fizzled out with you two.”

  “Turned out the only thing we had in common was mountain biking. Can’t exactly connect on a deep level when it comes to just one interest. Things in the bedroom even started to get...pretty boring and predictable. Call me old fashioned, but I need to be in love to—”

  “That’s not old fashioned, kiddo. It’s how it should be when you settle down with someone.” Travis smiled and focused on the bumpy terrain. Once he maneuvered around a couple of deep ruts, he returned to whistling some random tune.

  Sam stared at Travis, studying his face for a moment. She hadn’t seen him this chipper in a long time. “Maybe if I’m lucky I’ll have what you and Maria have.”

  “I thought you did have that at one time.”

  “I thought so,
too. I think if I could have half of what Annie and I had years ago, I’d be happy.”

  “Why settle for only half of what you had with Annie? Why not the whole thing?”

  “I figure at this point I shouldn’t set such high standards. Maybe that’s why things didn’t work out with me and Kim. I realized I was always comparing her to Annie.”

  “That kind of love only comes around once in a lifetime.”

  Sam became quiet and peered through the window to catch a glimpse of the main lifeguard station up ahead. She knew what Travis was trying to say, and maybe if she was lucky, she’d find love again someday. But for now, she had no interest in meeting anyone new. No sense in dating a woman to only lose interest after a couple dates.

  Once they neared headquarters, Sam noticed something displayed in the sand—hundreds of red and white rose petals strewn above the tideline in the shape of a heart. Sam huffed then said, “Look at that. Some hopeless romantic has littered the beach with rose petals. Looks like something’s been written in the sand above the heart.”

  “What do you mean hopeless romantic?” Travis asked and glared at Sam. “What’s so hopeless about someone professing their love for someone like this?”

  Sam sighed and shook her head, bugged by Travis’s overly optimistic mood. The jeep continued to rumble over the bumpy terrain while she kept her gaze on the ocean and adjacent sandy area. Ever watchful for injuries or illegal activities, she couldn’t help hoping to be asked to assist with pulling swimmers from the surf. She’d only had five rescues since her return to the department in the spring.

  As they got closer to headquarters, Sam saw that the rose petals spelled out a few words. With the glare of the early evening sun piercing through the windshield, all she could see was an M and an E.

  Once the jeep rumbled to a stop, Travis grabbed the walkie-talkie from the middle console. Sam exited the vehicle, ready to shoo away any onlookers as she provided medical assistance to the woman in distress. She grabbed the clunky first aid kit and lugged it across the sand. When she neared the main lifeguard station, she saw more clearly what was written in the sand: “Marry me.” She scoffed at this overly romantic and clichéd gesture then searched for their patient.

  “You sure this is the right location?” Sam hollered at Travis who lingered behind a few feet. “I don’t see any signs of anyone hurt or in distress. Maybe the other supervisors took care of it?” She placed the first aid kit in the sand.

  “Nope, we’re the first responders on this call.”

  “You see what some sap wrote in the sand? In a few minutes, high tide’s gonna wash over this and make the words disappear. Seems pretty fitting since love is fleeting and doesn’t last.”

  “Well, as I said, never say never. Love is probably closer than you think. Maybe you just need to look right in front of you for a change.” Travis waved an arm behind them then picked up the first aid kit and returned to the jeep.

  “Where are you going?” Sam started to say but then noticed a familiar face in front of her. “Annie? What are you doing here?” Surprised but excited to see her, Sam had more questions in her head but got quiet when she noticed how nervous Annie looked.

  “Travis is right. Maybe you need to finally see what’s in front of you,” Annie said and moved aside so that the rose petals were clearly visible.

  Sam approached the giant heart to read the words “Marry me.” She stared at her name in white rose petals. She was stunned, nearly speechless. “How did you...find so many roses? Are you...the woman in distress?” Sam cocked her head and stared at Annie.

  “Is that what Travis said to get you here?” Annie laughed but quickly composed herself. Dressed in cargo shorts and a T-shirt, she looked like she’d been here at the beach all day planning this. “I guess you could say I’m a woman in distress. Been in distress for months ever since you left Mississippi.”

  “You came here to ask me to marry you? I thought I made it clear that—”

  “Sam, I know you told me you want to move forward. I know you said that being with me again wouldn’t really be moving forward, but...maybe we can leave only the bad things behind and hold on to the good.”

  “Well, yeah, that’s what I’m doing in San Diego. I’m moving forward.”

  “You’ve always had a hard time seeing the good in front of you. What if our future looks totally different than how it was before? What if you move forward with me...as my wife?” Annie looked so earnest, but also so nervous. For a moment, she averted her eyes from Sam’s and shuffled her bare feet in the sand. Then Annie looked deep into Sam’s eyes and smiled, her whole face lighting up.

  Sam wasn’t sure she’d heard Annie clearly, but the look in her eyes said it all. As her wife? Sam thought as questions flooded her brain. “What about your job back home? What about your parents?”

  “I haven’t figured out the details yet, but I’ll be retiring soon.”

  “Retiring? You’re only in your forties.”

  “I’ve got enough in my pension to retire early. Maybe I could...I don’t know, run some sort of self-defense class at one of the colleges here. As for my parents, they’ll be fine. The thing is, I know I’ve never loved anyone as deeply as I love you. I know love like this only comes around once in a lifetime.”

  “Yeah, I’m finally realizing that. You’d really move back here? You’d do that for me?” Sam’s heartbeat sped up as she took in all that Annie had said. Sam couldn’t believe what was happening. Sure that she’d lost a second chance with the love of her life, Sam suddenly felt weak-kneed when she realized what Annie was suggesting.

  “I was a fool to leave you in the first place. I know what we had...have is pretty amazing. I’m going to propose a radical idea. I know this’ll sound crazy, but what if we...well, what if we didn’t live together all the time?”

  “Are you suggesting an open relationship? That’s not something I’d ever—”

  “Babe, no, never. You’re the only person I want to be with. I’ve never loved someone as deeply as you. It’s a crazy thought, but what if we...have a home here in San Diego and one back in Mississippi?”

  “Annie, my job is year-round now. I can’t just leave whenever—”

  “Sam, I know that. After I retire, I can be here most of the year, so long as I can go back to Mississippi to be with my parents a few weeks at a time. My heart is yours. I’ve longed for you ever since you left. Right now, I get five weeks of vacation a year. We’d probably only be apart a few weeks at a time before I retire.”

  Sam glanced at the rose petals on the sand, stunned that Annie went to this much trouble to profess her love. Sam recalled what she reluctantly told Annie that afternoon on the river. Still numb from Robert’s passing, Sam wanted to leave the awfulness of the past behind—Robert’s accident, Johnny’s reappearance in her life, the horrible encounter with the Patterson brothers when she was a child. Months ago, once and for all, she left Covington County and all the horrid memories of that place. But she realized that there were good things she’d left behind, too.

  The past year was a blur to her, but Sam hadn’t felt this clear in months. “When we broke up,” she said quietly and took a step closer to Annie, “I reasoned that I should just be grateful for what we had. I figured it was best to move forward and not look back.” Sam’s hand brushed against Annie’s, the touch sending shivers through her body. Here before Sam stood the woman who never stopped loving her through the worst times of her life. She again took in all that Annie had said and thought carefully about what she’d say next. Sam’s heart thudded in her chest. “My heart has belonged to you all this time. Even apart, I never stopped loving you.”

  “Nor have I.”

  “You know,” Sam said and glanced at Travis over by the jeep, “this new position with the lifeguards isn’t what I expected. I miss guarding the beaches. I ride around all day in the jeep and supervise the other guards. I make schedules and write evaluations and reports. Five days a week, I make sure the gu
ards are following protocol, but I miss the rescues. I miss the rush and the satisfaction of pulling swimmers to safety.”

  “Can you go back to guarding the beaches like before?”

  “Seasonal lifeguards are only hired during summer. The best ones are kept through autumn.”

  “What if you went back to guarding the beaches during the summer and fall months, then returned to Mississippi once beach season ended?” Always a problem-solver, Annie furrowed her brow and glanced at the sand for a moment then added, “Maybe the department has some sort of seasonal position for supervisors, something other than a summer lifeguard.”

  Sam paused and glanced at the sunset over the ocean. “There’s nothing more I ever want to do than lifeguarding. I’m sure Mama would like having me home in between lifeguarding seasons, but...I wouldn’t be making much money.”

  “Sam, my pension from the police department will keep us comfortable. I never want to take your passion away from you, but I want you to know I’ll always take care of you.”

  “Annie, I want a partner, someone to love me on an equal level. I don’t need someone to take care of me anymore.”

  Annie reached for Sam’s hand. “That’s what I want, too. Something shifted in me when you were back in Mississippi. It’s like my love for you reached a different level. I couldn’t ignore it, but I also wanted to respect your need to...move forward as you put it.”

  “I felt the same way...about something shifting. It kind of scared me, I guess. Probably why I told you I needed to move forward without you. I’d never felt such a depth of love for someone as I did when I was back home. Well, as I still feel now. Annie, I love you and...want you by my side, no matter what the future holds.” Sam realized she’d never stopped loving Annie, never fully let her go.

  “Maybe we oughta stop being so practical and follow our hearts for a change.” Annie looked deep into Sam’s eyes. The setting sun cast amber rays of light onto her face, her eyes conveying her deep love for Sam.