Heartfelt Lies

by Alexandra Christopher

She’s so freaking adorable, I can’t stop the deep laugh that rumbles from my throat. All her firsts… I wonder just what firsts she has to offer. And damn if I don’t want them. All of them. The thought of her giving them to someone else has my possessive instinct rising. The second I touched her tonight, I decided she's mine. She may not know it yet, but she will.

  I don’t know what I’ll do when secrets come to light. My feelings for this girl are growing by the minute. I can’t lose her. I won’t.

  I shut my truck off after we pull into her drive. I need a few more minutes with her before letting her go for the night. I turn toward her, taking a minute to appreciate everything about her. She really is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid eyes on. She's so pure and good that it shines through her crystal blue eyes and draws me in.

  “Stay right there,” I say, opening my door. I rush around to the passenger side to help her down, using any opportunity I can to get my hands on her. “Let me walk you to the porch.”

  We cross the drive, hand in hand, my fingers entwined with hers. I turn, watching her as we step onto the porch. "I know we're both tired but I'm not ready for the night to end," I confess.

  "Me neither. You want to sit for a while?" She nods to the white wicker porch swing hung at the edge of the house.

  We make our way over and sit. Ella snuggles right into my side like she’s been sitting beside me for years. I'm glad she's this comfortable with me, I want her to be. I want her to know without a doubt that I'll always have her best interest at heart. I pray she remembers that. We sit snuggled together for several minutes, she's the first to break the silence.

  "Have you lived here your whole life?"

  "Born and raised," I say, nodding my head. "My parents married young, right out of high school. Got pregnant with me not long after, and as they say the rest is history."

  "So how old are you?"

  “I'm a little older than you. I just turned twenty last month.”

  “Really? When did you graduate?”

  “Last year. I had just turned nineteen the month before. I was six when I started kindergarten. My mom wasn't ready to let me go. And I might have been just a tad bit of a baby." I laugh, holding my thumb and pointer finger a small space apart. "I can't help it, I'm a momma’s boy," I confess shamelessly.

  Ella chuckles. "Nothing wrong with that. Having a mom that loves you a little too much or dotes just a little too often isn't a bad thing, trust me." She clears her throat before continuing. "I graduated last year, too."

  This girl, the things she says sometimes, has me questioning her childhood. I hope she was raised in a loving home like I was. The thought she had anything less has guilt weighing heavily in my stomach.

  I glance at my watch, seeing it's just past one a.m. "I better head home. I need my beauty rest if I'm going to pick you up early in the morning."

  "Oh yeah, you need tons of beauty rest." She rolls her eyes.

  I take her hand and pulling her up beside me, I never let go, not even when we stop in front of her door. "You're not getting tired of me holding your hand, are you? I'm sorry, I just can't seem to help myself."

  Ella glances to her feet before looking back up into my eyes. "No. Not at all. Honestly? I think I could hold your hand forever, Kohl. I know we just met, so that probably makes me sound crazy, but I just have this feeling... I can't explain it."

  "You're not crazy. I feel it too,” I murmur, while memorizing every curve of her face.

  Placing a large hand around her waist, I pull her to me. "You are so beautiful, Ella," I whisper softly, while looking into her eyes. "You consume my every thought when you're near."

  She places her hands on my chest, running them slowly up to my shoulders. Heat follows in their wake. I pick up a piece of her hair, appreciating its silky texture as it flows across her skin. Placing two fingers under her chin, I bring her face to mine.

  "Please tell me I can kiss you," I plead.

  "I'd be disappointed if you didn't,” is her soft-spoken reply.

  I languidly run my hand up her left arm, across her shoulder to the back of her neck. I grip her hair there and rest my forehead against hers.

  Leaning in, I slowly glide my tongue softly along her lower lip, before opening slightly and taking her top lip between my teeth. I give it a small nip before sucking gently. Parting my lips, I run my tongue along the seam of her plush mouth. She opens immediately, her tongue meeting mine. I take my time licking into her, over and over with slow deep strokes.

  I'm so lost in this girl, the taste of her, the way she fits in my arms. Her tongue tangles with mine time after time as her fingers twist in the back of my hair with a harsh grip. Our bodies meld together, yet we fight to get closer. Fuck she feels good. And damn if she isn’t the best thing I've ever tasted. She tastes sweet. She tastes like fucking addiction.

  My cock is hard, throbbing against her stomach. Her soft moans, driving me out of my mind. I slam her back against the door and grip her ass as I grind into her, trying to quell this ache. Shit, I’m mauling this girl right here on her grandmother’s porch.

  I peel my lips from hers and wrap her tightly in my arms before getting too carried away. We stand here, under the porch light, each trying to catch our breath.

  I ease back, peering down into bright blue eyes, as I run my thumb along her flushed cheek. “Damn, sweetheart. I think I better take off now, Ms. Ann will be out here chasing me away with her broom.” I joke, earning a sweet laugh from Ella.

  I bend over and wrap my arms just under her ass, before standing to my full height. Ella’s feet leave the ground and she smiles down at me. Her arms are wrapped around my neck, her fingers running lightly through my hair. Gazing up into her eyes, I know this moment in time will stay with me every last day I’m on this earth.

  I lower her to her feet with one final squeeze and brush her lips with mine. "I'll see you tomorrow."

  5

  Ella

  I close the door, resting my back against it with a dreamy sigh. I’m so weak in the knees right now I need the support to remain standing.

  Kohl can kiss. I mean really, really kiss. The way he stroked my mouth and lips with his tongue. I’ve never been kissed like that before. I didn’t even know you could kiss like that. It’s most definitely something I want more of.

  Regaining some strength, I hurry up the stairs to my room. Falling onto my stomach across the bed, I start a text to Reed. I’ve got to tell someone about my night, and since he’s my best friend, and a night owl, he’s the lucky one.

  Me: Remember the guy I told you about?

  Reed: How could I forget? He’s all you’ve talked about all week.

  Me: Ha-ha. You’re so funny. Anyway, I saw him at a party tonight.

  Reed: Let me stop you right there. Did you say party? Ella Faith Jones went to a party?

  Me: Yes, I did. No need to be so dramatic about it.

  Reed: Hold up! I've gotta run and grab my calendar. I need to write this down.

  Me: Not. Funny.

  Reed: You know I’m only teasing. Tell me about this party.

  Me: It was the bonfire Jessa invited me to. She was introducing me to everyone. I looked

  up and there he was. I couldn’t turn away. Well, not until his ex-girlfriend started rubbing on him. But, that’s a story for another day.

  Reed: You sure she’s his ex?

  Me: Yes. He said they broke up several months ago.

  Reed: Then why is she hanging all over him? He still banging her?

  Me: No. I don’t think so. I hope not anyway. He acted pissed when she was around him tonight. But now that I think about it, he didn’t act so put out with her at the field last weekend. Why did you have to go and put that thought in my head? I just wanted to bask in the memory of our kiss the rest of the night.

  Reed: Woah! Kissing already? You must really like this guy.

  Me: I do like him. We spent the entire night together just talking and getting to know each other. He
seems genuine. Like he really likes me too. Even asked me to go fishing with him tomorrow. Ugh! Why didn’t I consider the possibility of them still hooking up?

  Reed: Just be careful Ella. Promise you won’t get caught up in someone who isn’t available. If he can’t give you 100%, he doesn’t deserve you.

  Me: I promise, Reed. Talk tomorrow?

  Reed: As if you could go a day without me. ;)

  Me: A day without my BFF? No way! Love you, dork!

  Reed: Love you, Ella Bella! Talk tomorrow.

  I lay my phone down and roll onto my back, staring up at the ceiling. I try to hold onto the way I felt tonight when I was with Kohl. The thought of him with Kennedy has a ball of dread forming deep in the pit of my stomach.

  Tomorrow, we'll talk. I have to know exactly where we stand before getting further attached. Like Gram says, “I don’t have time to entertain someone who is entertaining someone else,” and if he’s still “entertaining” Kennedy, that’s a deal breaker for me.

  Plus, my heart can’t handle more pain right now. I think it would burst open and bleed out from any added heartache. I like him a lot and can’t ignore the connection we share. But, if he’s still involved with her, even just physically, I’m out.

  Not wanting to dwell on it any longer, I decide there’s no use in worrying about things I can't change. I hop up and make my way to the bathroom. I need to wash this smoke and grime from my hair and body.

  After a quick shower and shave, I blow my hair dry, then pull on some sleep shorts and a cami before slipping under my down comforter. I let visions of light green eyes and soft, demanding lips carry me under.

  I’m up and ready to go an hour before Kohl is due to pick me up. I’m a little anxious to say the least. I also wasn’t exactly sure what the proper attire is for fishing. I’m dressed in cut off jean shorts, with my favorite worn-in sweatshirt pulled over a soft cotton tee. Black and white checked shoes complete my casual attire. My hair sits atop my head in a messy bun and my make-up is minimal.

  I walk over to my dresser, open my jewelry box, and take out the two sparkling diamond earrings tucked into the velvet padding. My mom gave them to me on my thirteenth birthday. She told me they were given to her by someone very special and to always take extra special care of them. I think I know now who that special person was.

  I slip one into each ear and carefully screw the backs into place. The thought of having a little piece of my parents with me puts a smile on my face. Just knowing these earrings meant something to my mom and dad makes me feel connected to them.

  I walk downstairs after one last glance in the mirror. I can tell Gram has already started breakfast from the aroma saturating the air.

  “Morning, Gram,” I say, kissing her cheek.

  “Morning, sweet pea. Did you have a good time last night?”

  “I did. A great time actually.” I smile thinking back to my kiss with Kohl.

  “I’m happy to hear that. A girl your age needs to be out, making friends and having fun. You’re too young to be at home hanging out with your old Gram all the time.”

  “Now, don’t sell yourself short. Most people only dream of being as cool as you.”

  “Well, not everyone can. It’s a gift you know,” Gram teases with a wink.

  God, I love this woman. If she only knew just how much I relish spending time with my "old Gram." I grab a couple glasses from the cabinet, and the fresh squeezed orange juice from the counter. “Bar or table this morning?” I ask.

  “Let’s sit at the table. I refilled my hummingbird feeders yesterday. Maybe we can spot one or two out the window.”

  Gram sits down across from me after plating the food. "Those earrings look familiar," she says with a smile. “They look as beautiful on you as they did your momma.”

  “Did my dad give them to her?” I implore.

  “He did.” She nods her head. “They were Ryan’s wedding gift to her.”

  “Ryan,” I whisper.

  My dad’s name was Ryan. The thought has a lump forming in my throat and tears brimming my eyes. After all these years I finally know my dad’s name. Piece by piece I’m starting to connect the dots and I’m discovering who I am a little more each day. My cracked veneer is slowly being mended as the time passes.

  Gram reaches over, taking my hand in hers. "You know I’ll gladly tell you anything you want to know about your parents, Ella. All you have to do is ask. There’s no hurry, whenever you’re ready.”

  “I know. I’m getting there.”

  “Those two were so in love,” Gram says wistfully. “I remember when Gwen first moved here, Ryan came home from school telling your granddad and I that he had met the girl he was going to marry one day. And that he did. Just a month after they graduated high school. We never even thought to try and stop them, didn't want to. We loved your mom like our own. They may have only been married six months but a love like theirs would’ve lasted a lifetime.” Gram says, a tear slipping down her cheek. “Oh, my.” She shakes her head. “I'm sorry, Ella, I didn't mean to upset you,” she says, wiping the tear away.

  “No, don't apologize I want to hear about them. Little snippets like that are perfect. I think it's probably all I can handle right now. I've just missed out on so much."

  The doorbell rings, drawing our attention.

  “Who in the world could that be this early?”

  “That's Kohl! I forgot to tell you, he's taking me fishing today.”

  “Oh, my goodness, that's wonderful dear. I'll just go let him in while you dry your eyes.”

  Dry my eyes? Reaching up, I find damp cheeks. I hadn’t even realized I was crying. I rush inside the half bath just off the kitchen as I hear Gram greeting Kohl. Grabbing a couple tissues, I dab my cheeks and eyes, thankful I chose waterproof mascara today. As I make my way back into the kitchen, I hear Kohl trying to assure Gram he's already eaten. My laugh has them both turning my way.

  “Hi,” Kohl says, giving me a sexy grin.

  “Good morning. You sure you're up to teaching this city girl how to fish?” I flirt.

  “I've got this. Trust me,” he replies cockily.

  That voice! He's so freaking sexy. He can teach me whatever he wants as long as I get to listen to him speak. I walk over and give Gram a quick hug and peck on the cheek before turning back to Kohl. “Are you ready?”

  “Yes, ma'am! It was good to see you Ms. Ann.”

  “You too, Kohl. Come back anytime.”

  Kohl takes my hand, we walk side by side out the door and to his truck. He opens the front passenger door and lifts me onto the seat, before making his way around to the driver’s side. He's repeated this exact routine every time I've been in his truck.

  I turn to him as he buckles his seatbelt. “You know your truck has a sidestep I could use to easily climb inside.”

  “I know, I like my way better though. It gives me an excuse to get my hands on you,” he admits, licking his bottom lip.

  My eyes are drawn there, remembering the way they felt against mine last night. I can't wait to feel them again, but first we need to talk. I clear my throat when we start down the road. No time like the present, I guess.

  “So, you and Kennedy. How long has that been over?”

  “Awhile. She broke up with me a couple weeks before she started her senior year. This is the first week of June… so, about ten months now, I guess,” he shrugs.

  “Really? I would've thought it was a lot more recent. She certainly seems... comfortable with you.” I prod.

  "That's just Kennedy. She has a hard time excepting the fact that she can't have everything she wants. She thinks if she tries hard enough, I'll give in."

  "Have you? Given in I mean." He's silent so long I know I have my answer. "No lies, Kohl. Give it to me straight-up or not at all. I've had enough hurt and manipulation to last a lifetime. I don't need anymore."

  "I wasn't going to lie, Ella. I promise. Straight-up? Yeah, I gave in," he says, sounding resigned.

 
"And how long ago was that?"

  I'm starting to feel like an idiot. Here I am thinking we share something special when he probably had her in his bed just days ago.

  "It was the night she and Lily graduated back in May. Lily begged me to go to their class party. We were all at a hotel in Jefferson celebrating, I was drunk—which is no excuse—she had been all over me that night, and I finally gave in. I've been kicking myself in the ass ever since. That's the only time I've fu—. Um, that’s the only time I’ve slept with her since we broke up."

  "So, what happens the next time you’re drunk and she's all over you?"

  "There won’t be a next time. I’m done with her and that night was a mistake. One I regret every time I see her and won't be making again."

  "I'm going to be really honest with you, Kohl. I like you. Like really, seriously like you but I don't want to open myself up to getting hurt. If you want to just be friends, I’m good with that. I mean, I'm not saying you want more, I'm just saying—"

  "It's ok, Ella. I know what you’re saying, but I promise you, I'm through with Kennedy. And just so you know, I could never settle for just friends."

  The bump of the gravel pulls my attention back to the road. "Wow, that was quick. I didn't realize we had even turned off the highway." Kohl drives us to the pond and puts the truck into park before turning to me. He reaches across the console and takes my hand, before bringing his eyes up to mine.

  "Can we just take a minute to clear the air? I think things got a little heavy, and the last thing I want to do is to screw this up. I like you too, Ella, so much. I want to spend time with you and get to know you. I don't have any interest in spending time with any other girls.” He gives me a genuine smile showing off his perfectly straight teeth. “Oh, and Lily, you two are the only ones I plan to be talking to on the regular. What do you say? Will you please give me a chance to prove myself?"

  "About Lily..."

  "She's a friend, only ever been a friend. She lives a street over from me, so we basically grew up together. She was always hanging around with us neighborhood kids. She was younger and the only female that lived close, so I always felt like I needed to watch out for her."