Heartfelt Lies

by Alexandra Christopher

He regains his footing, stepping away from the door their pressed against, he's speaking to her now, only I don't know what he's saying. Dammit! Why doesn’t this video have sound? Lily grabs his face between her hands and covers his mouth with her own. The phone drops to the floor, all I can see is ceiling. I count my ragged breaths… one, two, three, four…

  They're back in view. Lily's head is buried in Kohl's neck. His hand between them, moving rapidly, forearm flexing with the back and forth movement. The first sob escapes my mouth, just before the video turns black.

  I toss my phone onto the floor and rush to the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before my dinner burns its way up my throat.

  The next thing I know, Gram's holding back my hair and running a cold cloth along my forehead. "What happened, Ella? What's wrong?"

  "Kohl, he… he…" I can't get it out. The sobs take over my body once again.

  "Shh. It's ok. It'll all be ok," Gram says, rubbing my back with reassurance. "Let's get you cleaned up and into bed, we'll talk it out. Come on, now."

  She guides me to the sink and waits as I wash my face and brush my teeth before escorting me to my bed. When she tucks me in, I can't help but remember all the times I wished my mother would tuck me in like this when I was a little girl. The sadness taking root in my heart is overwhelming.

  "Now, tell me what happened."

  I can't find my voice, so I open my phone to the string of messages to let her see for herself. When she's finished, she clicks the phone off with a look of disappointment. "Oh, Ella, I'm not sure what to say. Maybe it's not what it seems. Have you tried calling him?"

  I just shake my head no.

  The screen lights up once again. "Ella…" Gram sighs, reading the message.

  "Let me see," I croak out.

  "There's really no need. Let's just turn it off until morning."

  "Let me see, Gram," I insist, extending my hand toward her. She shakes her head as she places the phone in my outstretched hand.

  Unknown: Looks like she wore him out.

  The picture below shows Kohl walking out of the hotel room, bare chested, shirt in hand, and hair a complete mess.

  "I should've listened to you. I should definitely turn it off now." I type out a quick final message to Kohl before powering the phone down and dropping it to the floor.

  "Would you like me to lay with you?" Gram asks.

  "Yes, please," I whisper.

  She clicks off my lamp and walks to the other side of the bed, climbing in. She snuggles up next to me, taking my hand in hers. We lay together silently, staring up at the darkened ceiling.

  "Listen to me, Ella. You've been through far worse times than this. I know things look bad, but the truth is, we don't know the real story behind that video. Try not to let your imagination run wild. We'll sleep on it and talk in the morning."

  "Okay, Gram." Is all I can manage.

  20

  Kohl

  Damn. I sit on the side of the bed, squeezing my head between my hands, trying to dull this throbbing ache that gets worse each second, I sit here. I don't remember the last time my head hurt this bad. I drank way too much last night. I should have called it an early night instead of letting the guys talk me into hanging out longer. Maybe then, I wouldn't be in this predicament.

  "Damn, Jax. You think you can keep it down? This headache is kicking my ass," I groan, flopping back onto the bed and pulling the covers over my head.

  The asshat just laughs, "Had a little too much to drink last night, did ya?"

  "Something like that," I mumble. "I think my head's going to explode any second now."

  "Here, catch."

  "Wait!" I'm hit with something hard, before I can manage to pull my head out from under the covers.

  "Shit, man! What was that for?" I ask, rubbing the now sore spot to the side of my forehead.

  "It's ibuprofen, you're welcome. Now quit whining and get your ass up, you've slept half the day away. We should've left for our parasailing reservations like ten minutes ago."

  "Man, I don't know if I'm up for that… or the company either," I grumble.

  "What are you bitching about?"

  "Last night some shit went down with Lily that shouldn't have," I sigh. "I'm just not ready to see her yet. Damnit, I'm so mad at her. I'm more pissed at myself though." How could I have been such an idiot? I think to myself. "I'm just going to hang back here and get everything packed up and loaded in the truck, okay?"

  "Yeah, sure thing. My bag's already packed, so we'll be ready to roll out early."

  "Sounds good. I'll throw it in the truck and pick you up from the dock."

  Jax just nods his head and walks toward the door. He reaches for the handle but pauses and turns back to me. "Don't think for one minute that we're not talking about this Lily thing either. I don't know what went down but it doesn't sound good if you don't want to face her." With that he turns and makes his exit. I swallow three ibuprofen and chug two bottles of water before checking my phone.

  I have several missed calls and texts from Lily. I swipe left and hit delete without even reading them. I see a couple unread texts from Ella as well. When I open the message, the first thing I see is written in all caps 'HOW COULD YOU?'. I don't know how she could know what happened between Lily and me, but my gut is telling me she does. Unless… Lily must have called her after I left.

  What the hell? Please, no! Tell me she doesn't know. I was going to tell her as soon as I got home, face to face. This isn't something you need to find out about over the phone, or from someone else.

  I immediately hit the call button, but it goes straight to voice mail. I hang up and call again, getting the same result, voicemail. I leave her a quick message asking her to call me as soon as she can.

  The thought of her being upset guts me, so I decide to take a chance and call the house phone. I know they can see it's me calling on the caller id, so I'm doubting they answer. The phone rings and rings and just as I'm about to give up, her Gram answers.

  "Kohl." She sighs into the receiver. I can tell she knows from the disappointment in her voice. I just hope she gives me a chance to explain before slamming the phone down in my ear.

  "Please don't hang up. I can explain," I plead.

  "It's really not me that you owe an explanation to. You need to talk to Ella. This is between the two of you. I really shouldn't even be talking to you right now. She needs time, Kohl. You really hurt her."

  "I don't know what she's been told, but I promise, it's not true."

  "Told? Oh, no, it's not what she was told, rather what she was shown. She watched the video, we both did. I have to say, things were pretty self-explanatory."

  "What are you talking about? What video?" I ask, an edge to my voice.

  "Someone texted her pictures and a video last night, a play by play of sorts. We saw you and Lily, Kohl."

  "Ms. Ann, I promise you, it wasn't what it looked like. Lily was drunk, like really drunk, I just wanted to make sure she got to her room safely. I don’t know what you saw in that video, or who sent it, but I can promise you that I would never purposely do anything to hurt Ella. I love her more than I can even put into words."

  "I don't know what to tell you. I believe I've already said too much. Maybe just give her a few days, okay? She doesn't want to talk about it just yet. She needs a little space right now."

  Giving her space is the last thing I want to do. I want to run to her and wrap her in my arms, tell her how much I love her. I need to remind her how much she means to me and reassure her that I would never purposely betray her.

  "I'll try, but I can't make any promises. The last thing I want her to do is sit around with those thoughts running through her head. Will you please just tell her I love her and ask her to call me?" I beg.

  "I'll tell her. Goodbye, Kohl. Have a safe trip home." The phone disconnects before I can say more.

  Feeling totally dejected, I head for the shower. I'm packing and getting the hell out of here as soon as
I can. Despite what I told Ms. Ann, all I can think about is getting to my girl.

  An hour and a half later, I'm parked at the pier entrance, waiting on Jax to make his way to the truck. He texted me a few minutes ago, saying they were still on the boat but were headed in.

  My windows are down, with my favorite play list buzzing quietly through the speakers. It's my best attempt to calm the combination of fury and worry currently circling my mind.

  I lay my head back against the headrest and close my eyes, attempting to push my worries aside and concentrate on the lyrics as they flow through my head. My pulse slows as I start to relax after a few minutes.

  "Well, well, well, look who we have here."

  I raise my head to meet the hate filled eyes of, Kennedy. I just shake my head, before returning it to the headrest. I'm not in the mood to engage with her ass.

  "What? Nothing to say, Kohl?" she snarls, venom lacing her voice.

  She's itching for a fight but she's not getting one from me today. I have more important things to worry about. "Nope," is my clipped reply.

  "Well, I have plenty to say. You are such a hypocrite! Just how long were you fucking Lily behind my back?"

  That has me sitting upright instantly. "What the hell did you just say?" I growl through clenched teeth.

  "You heard me. I said you're a hypocrite! Losing your shit on Zach like you did, yet you were screwing Lily behind my back. She might have had everyone else fooled, but she didn't fool me. I knew she wanted you. I knew it! How long, Kohl? How long has it been going on?"

  "It was you! Wasn't it, Kennedy? You sent that video to Ella last night. You vindictive little—"

  She cuts me off mid insult. "How long?" she screams at the top of her lungs.

  "I've never fucked Lily behind your back!" I scream right back.

  "Bullshit! You lying bastard. I saw you last night, you know. I watched you hold her and kiss her. I saw you go into her room and come out an hour later. I watched it all with my own eyes!"

  "I don't give a shit what you saw. Now, your meddling ass has brought a world of hurt to someone that doesn't deserve it. Get the fuck out of here, Kennedy. Don't you ever come near me again!"

  "Whatever. Good luck trying to keep your girlfriend, you cheating bastard." She smirks evilly before stomping away.

  I'm pulling my hair with both hands to the point of pain when I see Jax walking toward my truck. He turns back, watching Kennedy as he approaches the passenger door.

  "What the hell was that all about?" he asks, throwing a thumb over his shoulder.

  "It's a long story. One you probably don't want to hear," I grumble.

  "Let me be the judge of that. We have a long drive ahead." He climbs inside, slamming the door behind him. "Now, start talking," he orders.

  "I don't even know where to start."

  "The beginning of course," he grins.

  "Buckle up. It's gonna be a long drive."

  Four hours later and we're pulling out of a gas station after filling up and grabbing some food and drinks. I've just finished spilling my guts, in complete detail, about all the times I've screwed up with Ella. The biggest being last night.

  "Damn, man. I don't know how you can climb your way out that one. In all honesty, I don't know that I would believe you if I were her."

  "What the hell, Jax? Are you kidding me right now? You know me better than that. You know I'm loyal to a fault. I'd never hurt her in that way."

  "I know you wouldn't. I'm just saying, if I were her, it would be very hard to believe you're innocent after watching a video. What exactly was on it anyway?" Jax asks, side eyeing me.

  "I'm not sure but it must have been bad. I mean Lily threw herself at me and latched onto my lips like a Hoover. She was wrapped around me like bark on a tree and wouldn't let go! It must've looked awful. I can't imagine what was running through Ella's mind." I sigh with frustration. "She couldn't have seen the entire video though. If she had she would know I pushed her away immediately. I was so pissed! She should have heard me yelling if nothing else. I think everyone on the entire floor of the hotel heard me."

  Jax shakes his head. "If she's as upset as you say, it sounds like Kennedy only sent her what she wanted her to see. I'm sure she sent just enough to make you appear guilty. I would expect no less from her."

  "Oh, I can guarantee that. She's the most manipulative person I know. The crazy thing is, that bitch just accused me of fucking, Lily, yet, she was right there taking the video, I know she heard me jump Lily's ass for what she did. Fuck! How did I not see right through her crazy all these years?"

  "You were in love. You saw what you wanted to see," Jax says with a shrug. "I have to admit though, I knew she was an evil shrew but the whole Zach thing did shock the shit out of me. I never saw that coming."

  "I thought I was in love. Meeting Ella has been eye opening. I didn't have a clue what love really was until she came along. And I'm right with you, man. I never in a million years would have suspected there was anything going on between Kennedy and Zach. That was mind blowing to say the least."

  "Those two deserve each other. I swear they're both unbalanced," Jax scoffs.

  "Yeah. It is what it is, though. Ya, know? My only concern is Ella at this point. All that other bullshit means nothing to me.

  "Then tell me… what's your plan to keep her from kicking your ass to the curb?"

  "I'm not sure. All I can really do is be honest with her. Apologize for letting myself get into that position to begin with. Beg, plead, crawl to her on my knees if I have to. I'm man enough to admit, I'll do anything to fix this. There's no shame in my game."

  "I can respect that. What are you going to do about Lily? I don't think Ella will be okay with you two remaining besties and hanging out like you do. There's no way in hell I'd allow it."

  "I don't know what to do about her. That totally came out of left field. I mean, what the hell was she thinking? I was willing to think she was just too drunk to realize what she was doing but when we got inside her room, the shit she was saying blew that theory right out of the water. She was fully aware of her actions, man," I huff. "Fuck my life."

  "Really? Tell me about this crazy talk?"

  "It was nuts. She told me she's in love with me, been in love with me for years. Waited around until Kennedy was out of the picture and thought it was our time, but instead had to sit by and watch me with girl after girl. She claims she was willing to let me get it out of my system even though it was killing her to see it, because in the end she knew it would be the two of us together, that we're meant to be."

  "Damn!"

  "Yeah. I tried to reason with her, but she just flipped her shit. She swore I was in love with her too but just too scared to admit it. When I told her, I loved her like family and wasn't even a little bit in love with her, she lost it. Started screaming and crying, throwing anything she could reach at me. I grabbed her and tried to calm her down, but she lit into me, beating on my chest as hard as she could with her fists. Then, mid-scream, she threw up… all over my shirt, the floor, herself. It was awful. I rinsed my shirt out in the shower and helped her clean up and put her to bed. After she passed out, I picked up all the water bottles and food she had thrown at me and scrubbed the vomit off the carpet before I left to go back to my room. It was just one big cluster fuck."

  "How the hell do you get yourself into these situations, Kohl? Damn, man! You deserve a break."

  "You're not wrong," I agree, shaking my head. "I've never been so ready for classes to start back and everyone to go their separate ways for a while. Monday can't get here quick enough."

  "What about Ella? Does she start classes the same day we do?"

  "No, she's going to cosmetology school, but it doesn't start until October. I'm thankful for that because if she ignores me for too long, I can still catch her at work. Once she starts school, she'll be quitting her job."

  "Lucky you," Jax smirks.

  "Yeah, I have to say, I'm not feeling so lucky the
se days," I admit.

  There are no signs of anyone at Ella's, the blinds are all closed, and the garage door is shut. I'm sure they're home though, I mean they have to be, it's six-thirty in the morning.

  I drove by as soon as I dropped Jax off last night. I didn't stop, because it was way too late, but I just needed to see. What? I don't know what exactly. It just made me feel closer to her in some way, driving by and knowing she was behind those walls.

  I told myself over and over again last night that I wasn't coming here today, but as soon as I got in my truck this morning, it's like my brain just headed here without conscious thought. I can't find the strength inside me to turn around.

  I know I should probably give her a few days to calm down like I told Ms. Ann I would, but I just can't. It may make things worse, I don't know. All I know is, everything inside me is screaming to go get her. So, here I am, on her doorstep, my heart on my sleeve, ready to beg her to hear me out, to let me explain the craziness that continues to hold my life captive.

  I raise my hand and knock on the solid wood door. There's a cutout design made of swirly glass in the center, and I do my best to see what lies behind. Everything is distorted though, so I watch for movement with my fingers crossed.

  "Please answer, Ella. Please!" I whisper quietly into the cool morning air.

  After waiting another few minutes, I decide to try my luck one more time. I rap my knuckles loudly against the door, then turn, making my way to the porch steps. I've just sat down and lowered my head into my hands when I hear the squeak of the deadbolt turning.

  My heart begins to pound, as I jump up and twist around. All my anxious energy immediately plummets when I see who stands behind the door. I drag my feet across the porch, my eyes glued to my boots, doing my best to swallow the lump residing in my throat.

  "Good morning, Ms. Ann. I was hoping to speak to Ella. I'm guessing that's not going to happen, with you being the one to answer the door," I croak.

  Her sympathy filled eyes meet mine as she twists her hands. "No, son. Now isn't a good time."