Heartfelt Lies

by Alexandra Christopher

"Your mom came running out of nowhere," he continues. "I had forgotten she was with your dad. She fell to her knees and scooped him up. I remember her crying out, 'I love you, I love you,' over and over again. She tried to reassure him that help was on the way and that he was going to be all right. I think he knew differently though. He was gone within a few minutes. The knife had cut into his abdominal aorta and he bled out. He lay there and died in that damn parking lot because of me!" he cries into his hands.

  I find my way to my feet and walk over to sit next him. He wraps his arms tightly around me and cries into my shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Ella. Your dad was the best man I ever knew. I'd give anything to trade places with him. Please know that."

  I sit there next to him, my heart bleeding for the horror they all must have experienced that night. He goes on to tell me how he knew about me and wanted to help my mother and myself. And how he finally gave up out of guilt when she refused for years. He says he felt it was the least he could do after taking her whole life from her. I also learn he's responsible for funding my education at the private school I attended growing up. We sit there for hours, leaving no stone unturned. He tells me about the plea deal my father's murderer took and how it was kept under wraps all these years. When we're finished my hearts a little heavier but lighter at the same time, if that's possible. The truth had eased the pain in a way.

  It'll take some time to work through, but I can already sense forgiveness blooming in my heart. It would be so easy to blame this man for the loss of my parents, to have a place to channel all the hurt and anger inside me but I know that's wrong. He's no more responsible for my father's death than I am. Yeah, he made some bad choices, but don't we all when we're young? He didn't stab my dad, and I believe him when he says he would do anything to trade places with him.

  He and I both agree that although I love Kohl, I need time to process all this new information. I'll work on me, then see how I feel once I've laid it all to rest. My fear is, if I don't, it will only come between us in the end.

  The weeks have flown by since I started school. I'm glad I listened to Gram and decided not to try and work too. Between my studies and therapy every week, I haven't had time for much else.

  I was worried I would tire of the drive to Jefferson and back every day but that hasn't been the case. The roads are never busy, and it's actually become a great time to reflect on all the progress I've been making with my life. Today, however, I'm wishing I wasn't so far away from home.

  I hit the steering wheel, after climbing back inside Gram's car and slamming the door. I have a flat. And not just a low air kind of flat that you can drive slowly to the service station, no, I mean a flat as a pancake, you're not going anywhere flat. I've got to start paying closer attention to my fuel gage. This is the second time I've had to borrow Gram's car because I've gotten a late start and didn't have time to get gas before heading to school.

  "Ugh!" I yell, hitting the steering wheel once again. Of all the times for this to happen, it has to be now, our last day of class until after Thanksgiving. To make matters worse, I have a big test on infection control this morning.

  I pick up my phone to call roadside service, only to find I have no reception. What am I going to do? I'm about to break down and cry when I hear the rumble. I peek up into the rearview mirror and see shiny gray paint pulling up behind me. A moment later, Kohl steps out the driver's side door.

  My heart kicks up a beat as I watch him make his way toward me. He's in faded jeans and a tight cotton shirt. God, he looks good. I've not seen him, other than the occasional passing by in his truck while I'm on my run. Not once has he looked my way. I swallow the nervous lump in my throat when he stops outside the door. Rolling down the window, I'm greeted by the chiseled face and plush lips I dream about day and night.

  "Need a hand?" he asks.

  It's been almost three months since I've heard that voice, it's like music to my ears, a balm to my cracked heart.

  "I was going to call a service truck—"

  "You'll never get reception out here," he interrupts, shaking his head. "Open the back and I'll grab the spare. I can have you back on the road in ten minutes."

  "You don't have to do that, Kohl. I can figure it out."

  "Ella, I know you hate me, but there's no way in hell I'm leaving you on the side of the road with a flat. Now, open the back hatch," he orders, leaving no room for argument.

  I pop the hatch and make my way to the back of the car, watching him pull the jack and spare tire from the small space under the mat. My eyes rake his body as he works silently, his broad back flexing beneath his shirt. I admire the way his worn denim jeans press tightly against his thighs as he bends to loosen the lug nuts. I close my eyes, remembering the feel of his hard, smooth muscles as they tightened under my hands while I lay beneath him, the way his hard abs stuck to mine as he thrust inside me. Woah! I fan my face, aware I'm probably flushed. My thoughts are about to get me in trouble, I need to tone it down a notch or two.

  A few minutes later, he lowers Gram's car back to the ground and places the jack and ruined tire in the back.

  "You're all set. Drive safe," he says, dusting off his jeans. He turns and begins the walk back to his truck.

  I'm almost to my door when I find the courage to speak. "Hey, Kohl!" I yell.

  He stops in his tracks and turns back to me.

  "I don't hate you. I couldn't even if I wanted to." He doesn't speak but I notice the slight smile pulling at his lips. "I just wanted you to know that." With that I open my door and hop inside my car.

  Two days later, I still can't get him off my mind. I am back to spying out my bedroom curtains any time I hear the slightest rumble from the road. What he said that day, thinking I hate him, has been eating me up inside. How could I have let things get this bad, or go on for so long? I just assumed his dad would have told him I'm working on me, and maybe he did. I guess I've been silent so long that he thought I couldn't get passed the lies.

  Tomorrow's Thanksgiving, it will be the first time I've truly celebrated the holiday and I couldn't be more excited. Reed and his parents will be arriving first thing in the morning to spend a few days with us, but I want all my family here.

  "Gram!" I shout, bounding down the steps.

  "In here, sweet pea!" she calls out from the kitchen. She's at the granite island rolling out pie crusts.

  "You make that look so easy," I chuckle, thinking back to the disaster I created this morning when she was trying to teach me.

  "I've had years of practice. You'll get there."

  "So… I was thinking… do we have enough food for a few more tomorrow?"

  She meets my eyes, a knowing smile on her face. "We have plenty. Way more than we could possibly eat. What do you have in mind?"

  "Well, I was just thinking, I'd like to have all my family together tomorrow, not just part of them. What do you think about inviting the Kingsley's?"

  "I think that’s a wonderful idea, Ella," she says, giving me a small squeeze and a kiss on the cheek.

  "Do you think he'll… I mean do you think they'll come? Have I waited too long?" I ask warily.

  "I don't think so. I think he would… I mean they would wait forever for you," she smirks.

  I can't stop the megawatt smile that overtakes my face. "Hmm, well, I'll be back in a little bit."

  "Okay, text me if you're going to be late coming home. Or not coming home at all," she mumbles under her breath.

  I laugh all the way out the front door until I set my eyes on the house at the end of the street. Then, my nerves start to get the best of me. "You've got this, Ella," I whisper to myself. That's my mantra, all the way to Kohl's front steps.

  It takes all the courage I can muster, to lift my fisted hand and knock on his door. I wring my hands together nervously as I wait for him to answer. I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to say.

  I hold my breath in anticipation as I watch the door knob turn. Soon, Kohl is standing before me, his hair's w
et with sweat, and his eyes full of longing. His only clothing a low-slung pair of black mesh shorts.

  "Ella?" he asks, voice filled with shock.

  "Kohl, I… I just…"

  "You done?"

  "I'm sorry?"

  "I asked if you're done—forgiving me?" he looks deep into my eyes, searching for the answer. His face is filled with hope, but I know he's as nervous as I am by the rapid rise and fall of his chest.

  I nod my head in response. "I've been done. I forgave you weeks ago, I just… I had to work on me. I needed to let go of all the blame, I couldn't drag that between us any more than it already was. I was afraid I'd lose you forever, and that just wasn't an option for me."

  "So, you still love me?" he asks through a shy smile.

  "More than anything or anyone else in this world," I proclaim.

  "Thank, God! Get in here." I'm lifted off my feet into a sweaty bear hug. There's no place on this earth I'd rather be.

  Kohl slams the door behind us, pressing me against the solid surface. I wrap my legs around his trim waist and brace my arms around his shoulders. His hand comes up to caress my jaw as his eyes scan the features of my face. "You're really here," he whispers.

  "I am," I return just as quietly.

  "I've missed you so much, sweetheart." He places his forehead against mine briefly before taking my lips in a sweet kiss. Soon, our tongues are dueling for control. I'm so lost in him I don't notice we've even moved until I feel the soft material of his comforter beneath me as he lays me on his bed.

  "Give me five minutes to wash this sweat off." He bends forward, placing a quick peck to my lips.

  "No!" I reach out, pulling him on top of me. "I want you just like this," I demand.

  He takes his time, undressing me, worshiping every piece of exposed flesh as he goes. "This is beautiful on you," he says, toying with the locket around my neck.

  "It's the best gift anyone's ever given me. I can't tell you what it means to me."

  He just smiles, as he slides down my body. I've been longing for his touch far too long. I come in a matter of seconds at the slide of his warm tongue between my folds.

  "Damn, stay right here. I need to grab a condom out of my wallet." He starts to rise from the bed, but I capture his wrist in my hand.

  "No," I shake my head. "I want to feel you, just you inside me."

  "Are you sure?" he asks.

  "Yes, I'm still clean. I haven't been with anyone else. Have—"

  "No!" he interrupts. "No one. You're it for me, Ella."

  "I just need to ask one more thing of you. Promise me you'll never keep anything from me again, no matter how much the truth may hurt me."

  "I swear to you, Ella. I'll never do anything to betray your trust ever again."

  "Will you come to therapy with me?" I ask timidly.

  He nods immediately. "Just say when."

  I take his face between my hands, bringing his mouth to mine. I swear I can feel every ounce of his love when he enters me. His pale eyes tell me, my world will never be the same after today. I know deep in my heart, he'll stand by me forever.

  His cock feels so different without the added barrier of latex, it’s incredible. I love the velvety softness of his flesh as it slides against me. Nothing will ever compare to this.

  Kohl thrusts inside me slowly, before coming to a stop. "Give me a minute. You feel way too good. Fuck, this is unreal! I'll never get enough of you."

  He kisses me slowly as his pace increases. I wrap my legs around his waist, swiveling my hips as I meet him with each thrust. It doesn't take long before I explode again. He follows me soon after, his cock jerking as he spills inside of me.

  We make love long into the night. It's only after we've stepped from the shower, when I remember to text Gram. I send her a quick apology.

  "By the way, I was supposed to invite you and your parents to join us for dinner tomorrow. I'm sorry," I grimace. "I hope it's not too late."

  "Never," he declares. "I'll call them in the morning. We'll be there."

  "Thank you!" I stand on my tip toes and kiss his cheek. "Reed and his family are driving up, it just didn't seem right not having all my family there."

  "I guess I better let you get some sleep then. I need to make a good impression if I'm going to meet my future brother in law tomorrow," he says with a wink.

  I just grin, biting my lip shyly in return.

  My first family Thanksgiving has been a big hit. We've laughed, loved, and reminisced the day away. I was nervous about Kohl and Reed meeting, but I should've known better. They've gotten along like long lost friends.

  I may only be nineteen, but I've learned a lot during my time on this earth. I'm still learning more as each day passes. Some lessons have been harder than others, but each has shaped me into the person I am today.

  If there's one thing I know for certain, it's this—life may not always be easy, things won't always go as planned, but if you surround yourself with the ones you love, it'll always be worth it.

  Epilogue

  Two and a half years later

  Kohl

  My mind drifts back to one year ago today, as I stand here surrounded by blue and white hydrangeas. I was standing in almost this exact same spot, surrounded by hundreds of fragrant blooms, and dozens of tall cream candles standing in clear glass cylinders, just as I am now.

  Ella pulled up and exited her car, arms full of books and a blanket. She was nearly to her "spot" before she looked up and spotted me, on bended knee. Total shock swept across her face before it was quickly replaced with the brightest smile I've ever seen. Everything in her arms fell to the ground, as she ran to me as fast as her legs would carry her. I braced for impact, but we both ended up on our asses anyway.

  I thought I had planned the perfect proposal for months, had my speech all written out and memorized. That all flew out the window though as we lay laughing in each other's arms with the sun setting behind us. I remember thinking in that moment that nothing I had planned could've been more perfect.

  I smile at the fond memory as I wait for my bride to join me. I haven't seen her since last night. Wanting to follow tradition, she stayed tucked away in her Gram's house until it was time to get ready at her new salon, Salon Faith. She sent me a text making me promise not to peek as they left the house in her car.

  I scan the crowd before me, all of our close friends and family are gathered here, waiting patiently before me in white wooden chairs.

  My heart races with anticipation when the violins begin to play the wedding march. I look up, meeting the brilliant blue eyes that captured me so long ago. Ella walks toward me, arm in arm with Reed. Her long brown hair, curled to perfection, framing the beautiful face I'll cherish for the rest of my days.

  Pristine white lace hugs her chest and waist before flowing to the ground over a layers of tulle. A small trail of material follows behind her. My eyes never stray from her as she makes her way down the flower strewn path. My eyes water, as I've never seen anything more beautiful in my life.

  I don't attempt to stop the tears flowing from my eyes as I recite my vows to her. I love this woman with every piece of my heart and mean every word I say.

  "Ella," I say taking her hand in mine, placing them over my heart. "This is the heart of your best friend, it overflows with love for you. It will cherish you, provide for you, and build your dreams alongside you. This heart will love you through the good times and the bad, until it's very last beat. I love you, sweetheart, forever and a day."

  I reach up and wipe the tears from her cheeks. She takes a few shaky breaths before beginning her own vows.

  "Kohl, I give myself to you on this day. I wholly give you my heart and soul without fear, as there's no better man on this earth to care for it. I promise to love you for all my days, to live fully and fearlessly with you by my side. I pledge to you my devotion, faith, and honor. With your hand in mine, I know there's no goal we can't achieve, no truth we can't survive. I'll love you with
every piece of my heart, forever and a day."

  When the minister gives me permission to kiss my bride, I take full advantage. Witnesses be damned. I grip her waist, dip her back, and kiss her slow and deep, earning us a chorus of cat calls and whistles.

  After posing for a million and one pictures, we drive to Jefferson and complete all the required tasks at our reception. When our first dance is complete, I decide to steal my bride away to our suite. I love everyone here, and appreciate all they’ve done for us, but we can visit when we return from our honeymoon in the Maldives.

  "Let's go, sweetheart," I say, taking her hand and pulling her against my chest. "I can't wait another minute to peel that sexy ass dress off my wife."

  She wraps her arms around me, giggling into my neck. When she pulls back to speak, her face radiates absolute joy and happiness. I plan to keep it on her face as often as possible.

  "Lead the way husband."

  So, I do. I take her by the hand and lead her to the beginning of the rest of our lives, hand in hand as husband and wife.

  Four years later

  Ella

  I lay here in the hospital bed with heavy eyes, hair a complete mess, more tired than I've ever been, but also never happier.

  Kohl stands next to the window, rocking side to side, our baby boy snuggled safely in his arms. Kade Ryan Kingsley entered this world two hours ago. He's twenty-two inches and almost nine pounds of absolute perfection. He stole his daddy's heart upon first sight, mine, too.

  "He looks just like you," I say, gaining Kohl's attention. "That head full of dark hair, his big hands and feet—it's not a bit fair," I pout. "I carried his little butt around for the past forty weeks, I at least deserve something."

  "Awe, sweetheart," he says with mock sympathy. "If I said I'm sorry, I'd be lying," he shrugs as he comes to stand next to me. "How about I give you a little girl that looks just like her mama next?"