The Bookworm's Guide to Dating

by Hart, Emma

  “Colt—” Kinsley said weakly, taking a step forward.

  He ignored her, his gaze laser-focused on me. “Is that true?”

  I had no fucking answer for him.

  “Yes!” Agatha shrieked in the background. “They’ve been—”

  “Shut up, Hagatha, you shit-stirring old coot!” came Rosie’s sharp tone as she rejoined the group.

  “Rosie, I swear I will—”

  “Is it fucking true?” Colton ground out every single word as he glared at me from barely five feet away.

  Tori stepped forward, shoving me out of the way. “Of course it’s not.”

  “I didn’t ask you, Tori.” Colt changed his trajectory until he was mere feet from me. “I asked Josh. I asked him if it’s true that he, my best friend, is sleeping with my sister.”

  Kinsley’s blurred form appeared in my peripheral. “Colton—”

  “Yeah.” I steeled myself for his response. “Yeah, it’s true.”

  I heard her gasp before I felt the rock of his fist connect with my jaw in a sharp burst of pain that radiated throughout my entire skull. I staggered back and dropped to my knee, grabbing the side of my jaw.

  Shit. That hurt like a motherfucker.

  And you know what?

  I deserved it.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO – KINSLEY

  rule twenty-two: sometimes the only response to dating is, “oh, shit.”

  “Colton!” My brother’s name escaped my lips as I pushed past my friends and into the circle that had apparently formed in the retirement home and kneeled next to Josh. He was cradling his jaw. “What are you doing?”

  “You’re sleeping with him?” He turned on me with eyes that were pure black.

  Eyes that belied his hurt through the anger.

  Eyes I couldn’t lie to.

  This was my brother, damn it.

  All of it, all the secrets and all the lies… this was it.

  This was the moment.

  The grand reveal.

  A fucking duck parade and a bunch of old angry people.

  Awesome.

  I said nothing in response. There was nothing I could say, really. Colt already knew the answer, and I could see that in his eyes, even as I let go of Josh and stood up.

  My brother took a step toward me, pure anger radiating from his eyes. “Kinsley, I asked you a fucking question.”

  “Enough.” Grandpa hobbled up next to me. “You will not talk to your sister this way.”

  “Grandpa—”

  “Boy, if you’re gonna tell me I can’t tell you what to do, I got a cane that’s gonna beat some reality into your backside,” Grandpa said in level tone that held just a terrifying amount of threat in. “This ain’t the time or the place for it.”

  No shit. There were fifty old people plus a bunch of others all watching us like their favorite soap drama had come to life.

  It kinda had, to be honest.

  “Are you okay?” I whispered to Josh, cradling the side of his face again so I could check on him. “Let me see.”

  “Kins… I’m fine.”

  “Bullshit.” I tugged away his hand and looked. Colton had hit him so hard it was already bruising. I wouldn’t be surprised if he needed to be checked over by a doctor, given the swelling that was forming in the mere minutes since the contact, either.

  And it made me mad.

  So fucking mad.

  We’d joked about this, but I never thought my brother would actually do this to him. Never thought he’d actually punch his best friend in the jaw for this.

  My nostrils flared with my anger, and I didn’t care that everyone was staring at me. It’d be all around town by dinner, so who cared?

  Not me.

  “Kinsley,” Saylor said in a soft voice. “Think about this—”

  I shoved past her when she tried to stop me. This was my brother; my fight. “What is wrong with you?”

  “Un-fucking-believable. You bang my best friend and ask me what the problem is!” Colton laughed dryly, shoving his head in his hand.

  “Colton William Lane,” Grandpa growled. “You will remember your manners, or I will beat them into you.”

  I passed my stalwart of a grandpa and stopped barely three feet in front of my brother. We glared at each other for the longest minute before I said the words that were boiling up inside me.

  “Hit me, too.”

  He stared at me. “Are you fucking kidding?”

  “No. If you can hit him, you can hit me.” I jerked my chin up in defiance. “It’s true. All of it. So go ahead. You asked me a question, and I’m answering it. It’s true, Colt.”

  He stared at me for what felt like forever. The betrayal I saw in his eyes churned my gut, and the guilt that spread through my body like a wildfire physically hurt.

  I knew he wouldn’t hit me.

  But I kind of wanted him to.

  “Don’t,” he said, holding up one finger. “Don’t talk to me.”

  Then he turned, stalking off in the direction of the gate that led to the parking lot. I moved to follow him, but Kai blocked me, his tall frame towering over mine.

  “Don’t.” His voice was soft as he rested his hands on my upper arms. “You’ll only make it worse right now. Let him calm down.”

  I swallowed and dropped my gaze. Rationally, I knew he was right, but that didn’t mean I wanted to.

  I felt absolutely awful.

  I knew it would hurt him when he found out, but he wasn’t supposed to find out like this. Not surrounded by half the damn town when he was having his own relationship issues.

  I would never be able to forgive myself for this.

  Ever.

  “Grandma, I can’t believe you!” Tori exploded from somewhere behind me, breaking the silence.

  “And you, Grams!” Saylor snapped, making me turn around. “Why couldn’t you keep your mouths shut?”

  At least someone was asking the important questions.

  “That was not your information to share!” Tori continued, poking her finger at Agatha. “Regardless of it being the truth, it’s their business.”

  Josh stood up and worked his jaw from side to side, wincing when he moved it to the right. “Jesus.”

  Oh, God.

  I shook off Kai’s gentle hold and rushed over to him, moving his hand so I could look. His skin was turning a fetching shade of blue and purple beneath his stubble, and another overwhelming wave of sadness washed through me.

  “Come on. We need to get ice on that.” I looped my arm through his and pulled him in the same direction Colton had stalked off in minutes ago. “Anywhere but here.”

  Josh grunted in agreement, and the last thing I heard was his grandma, Vicki, saying, “I knew those ducks would be trouble.”

  ***

  “Here. This should help.” I sat next to Josh and pressed the gel ice pack against his jaw.

  He winced at the touch and took it from me. “Thanks.”

  I curled up against the back of my sofa and rested my head on the cushions, sighing heavily.

  Josh reached over and rested his hand on my thigh. He slowly rubbed it in a reassuring move, but I didn’t think anything would make me feel better right now.

  “That was a shitshow,” he said in a tight, muffled voice. He was clearly trying not to move his jaw too much to talk, and I laid my hand on top of his. Our fingers linked easily together, and Josh turned to look at me.

  I could see how much his jaw hurt by the pain in his eyes. “Let me get you some Tylenol.”

  “Stop fussing, Kinsley,” he ground out. “I’ll be fine.”

  “You have a baseball on your jaw! You are not fine!” I shoved his hand from my leg and got up, storming into the kitchen. I yanked the drawer open so hard I almost ripped it off the runners, then rifled through it looking for the Tylenol or any other painkiller I had on hand.

  After finding a half-empty Tylenol bottle, I fetched a bottle of water from the fridge and went back to Josh in the livin
g room. I threw them both on the sofa next to him, and he sighed.

  “I don’t want to argue with you, babe. It won’t fix anything.”

  Deflated, I sat back down and opened the Tylenol bottle to shake out two pills for him. “I know. I’m just—I’m so frustrated. We should have told him as soon as they figured it out.” I buried my fingers in my hair and looked past him to the window and out onto my front yard. “I feel so bad.”

  Josh put the gel pack on the coffee table with another wince and took the pills I offered. I helped him by undoing the cap on the water bottle, then passed it over after he’d tossed the pills in his mouth.

  He groaned through the whole process of swallowing them and drinking water.

  “Should we go to the emergency room?” I asked, eying the bruising.

  “And tell them what?” he said, putting the ice pack back on his face. “That my girlfriend’s brother found out about our relationship and gave me a fair right hook?”

  Well, when he said it like that… “Should have hit me, too,” I muttered.

  “Like he would do that. Come here.” He motioned for me to cuddle into him, and I carefully shuffled up the sofa and rested my head against his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around me and let his head fall so that his cheek was resting on top of my head.

  I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in, just focusing on the way it felt to be wrapped in his arms right now. It was comfortable and soothing, and as I felt the beating of his heart beneath my hand, calm began to move through my body.

  “What do we do now?” I asked quietly. “He’s not going to speak to either of us anytime soon.”

  Josh blew out a long breath and pulled back the ice pack. “I think we have to give him a little time, then I’ll talk to him and explain.”

  “Maybe I should talk to him. At least until your jaw is healed.”

  “Nah, it’s fine. I’ll tell him to hit the other side if he has to.”

  “Josh!”

  “I’m kidding.” He squeezed me. “He’ll come to me when he’s ready, and probably not until you two have spoken. He really couldn’t have found out at a worse time.”

  Of course. He’d finally broken up with Amber. “I’m going to kill Agatha and Mabel.”

  “I think our grandparents might already be on it. I’m not gonna lie, I thought it would have been Rosie who’d spill it.”

  I made a non-committal noise. “This is going to be a nightmare, isn’t it? He’s so hurt and angry and—”

  “And you can’t change the way he feels,” Josh said softly. “As much as I know you wish you could. This was always going to hurt him, and he was always going to be mad. We knew that.”

  “And we did it anyway.”

  “Not lightly.” He hooked his finger under my chin and tilted my head back so our eyes met. “Yes, we did it anyway, but not with the intention of hurting him. We thought this through and talked it over a thousand times. I don’t regret this, Kinsley. I don’t regret you.” He touched his lips to mine in a light brush. “We can’t change what’s happened, so there’s no point in getting ourselves worked up about it right now. He’s more likely to talk to you than he is me, so you can always try tomorrow.”

  “I can’t. I have Ivy’s baby shower. It starts at eleven-thirty, and I’m not sure when it ends.”

  “Then try and find him after,” he said reassuringly, releasing my chin. He kissed my forehead, and I dipped my face to press it into his neck. Being wrapped up in him was my new favorite place to be, and even though I was full of swirling, conflicting emotions, just being with Josh dulled them somewhat.

  “I know. I just—”

  “Ssh.” He pressed his thumb to my lips and pulled me in tighter to him. “You can’t change it. Remember that. Colton will get over it, I promise you.”

  I hoped he was right.

  Because if he didn’t, I didn’t know what I was going to do.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE – KINSLEY

  rule twenty-three: nothing worth having comes easily. like relationships. or losing that last seven pounds off your butt.

  Ivy was glowing. Despite the fact she was bemoaning her swollen ankles and was exhausted, her happiness shone in her eyes. She and baby Tegan Rose had been spoiled, and there were piles of books and clothes and toys and all kinds of wonderful little baby things on the two large tables in the backyard.

  The whole area was an explosion of pink and lace and frills, and there was a long table along the back of Ivy and Holley’s parents’ backyard that was filled with gorgeous white and pink flowers and a delicious array of food.

  If only I were hungry.

  I’d barely eaten a thing since the incident at the duck parade yesterday. I’d only eaten some soup last night because Josh told me he was going to force-feed me it if I didn’t, but he’d left this morning while I was in the shower saying he was going to go back to the retirement home and see his grandma to find out what happened after we left.

  “How you feeling?” Holley slipped up behind me with Tori on her heels.

  I shrugged and leaned back against the tree trunk I’d been hiding by. “I don’t know.”

  “He’ll get over it,” Tori said. “You know he will. Don’t beat yourself up.”

  I gave her a weak smile. “I know, but it doesn’t mean I don’t feel guilty for keeping it from him.”

  “Yeah, but is the sex good? Because I’d keep good sex from your brother if I were you, too.”

  My cheeks flamed red hot. Oh, my God.

  “Tori!” Holley choked back a laugh.

  “What? It’s a valid question.” She looked at me and smirked. “And judging by that blush on your cheeks, Josh knows his way around the old g-spot.”

  “Okay, seriously.” I held up my hands. “We are not discussing this right now.”

  “How boring.”

  Holley shook her head. “I don’t know how she’s never been arrested.”

  “The secret is to not get caught.”

  “Or do anything illegal,” Ivy drawled, joining the conversation. “Oh, it’s quiet over here. I like it.”

  “How are you feeling?” I asked her.

  “Tired. Overwhelmed. Wishing everyone would let me go back to bed with my cheese puffs.” She grinned, cradling her swollen stomach. “How are you after yesterday?”

  “Wishing I could see my brother and at the same time, wishing I would never have to again,” I admitted.

  “You knew this would happen.”

  “Wait, you knew about this?” Holley looked between us.

  Ivy nodded, taking a seat at one of the cast-iron tables that was nearby and empty. We all joined her. “Yeah, I knew a couple of weeks ago. Is that about right?” she asked me.

  I shrugged. “Maybe? Close enough.”

  Holley harrumphed in annoyance.

  She hated not knowing everything.

  “I kind of forced her into admitting the truth,” Ivy admitted. “It was right after they’d taken a big step—”

  “They fucked,” Tori said confidently.

  “—And she was a little lost and confused, and I helped her out some with it.” Ivy turned back to me. “We knew this was going to happen. All right, not in this way, but it still did.”

  “I just wish we could have been the ones to tell him,” I said softly, staring down at the intricate mosaic pattern on the table. “It might have been different if we were.”

  “You mean Josh wouldn’t have taken a right hook to the face,” Tori said brightly.

  “Tori.” Holley scolded her, frowning.

  “Yes,” I replied dryly. “Exactly that.”

  Ivy slapped the back of her hand into Tori’s arm. “Which one of you is talking to him first?”

  I sighed. “Me. Josh’s jaw is still bruised and swollen, and the last thing I need is my brother seeing that as a target. He doesn’t want to go to the emergency room, but I think it’ll be easier if I speak to him first anyway.”

  Ivy nodded slowly, leanin
g back in the chair with an ‘oomph’ and a frown at her stomach. “Leave my bladder alone,” she instructed her belly before she looked back up. “Sorry. I agree with Josh. Colton is probably feeling more betrayed by him than you, since they had that stupid pact and all that crap.”

  “A pact?” Holley raised an eyebrow. “What the hell?”

  I quickly explained the pact Josh and Colton had made years ago when they were teenagers. “I mean, I get it, but it just seems kind of childish with hindsight. How could either of them have known what would happen years later?”

  “Because men are dumb.” Tori didn’t even bat an eyelid. “They probably were arrogant enough to believe that the other one would never get feelings for their sister. Teenage boys are the absolute worst and really think the world of themselves, but what Colt needs to realize is that they’re almost thirty. Even an agreement made five years ago would be different now. Where were you five years ago? Where will you be in five years?”

  “Well, I wasn’t pregnant five years ago,” Ivy replied. “Nor did I have any plans to get pregnant until I was at least twenty-nine, and that plan went down the toilet and fermented in the sewers.”

  Tori flung out her hand, almost hitting Ivy in the face. “Case in point. Five years ago, you didn’t own the bookstore. Probably never imagined you would, but here we are. Something they agreed years and years ago was probably never mentioned again and only lived in Josh’s brain because he was aware of his feelings for you. I’d bet you anything that Colt is more annoyed you never told him yourselves than anything else.”

  “It makes sense.” Holley leaned forward and rested her chin in her hands. “I don’t think you’re both doing anything wrong by pursuing a relationship,” she mused. “In fact, if I had a brother, I’d be thrilled if he ended up with any one of you forever. I think Colt is probably just really pissed he had to find out from Agatha and Mabel of all people.”

  “Freakin’ Grams,” Tori said. “I told her off, by the way. She wasn’t happy about it, but I wasn’t happy either.”

  “Go and talk to him.” Ivy met my eyes, kindness shining in hers, and she smiled. “Go now. Go and see if you can find him and talk to him. You won’t rest until you’ve tried.”