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Absolution

Page 6

by Neha Yazmin


  “Huh,” Ellie grunted. I laughed under my breath.

  “And what’s that supposed to mean?” Kim’s annoyance was growing again.

  “It means huh,” Ellie answered and I laughed harder. She was such a kid sometimes. “It means you have no idea what’s going on in my head and you have no idea that you don’t get through to me on any level, in any way. And the shouting and lecturing, well, I just tune most of it out. Because it’s always the same thing.”

  My laughter came to a halt. Even from the outskirts of her street, I could sense the pain behind those whiny words, the frustrations that she lived with everyday.

  “You’re trying to explain that I have to grow up because I’m nearly 18, but how can I, if you don’t let me?” Ellie complained. “If you keep treating me like a child. How will I grow up and find my own path, when you’re always trying to control me?”

  Mother and daughter were quiet for a long moment.

  “I’m not trying to control you,” Kim murmured eventually. The shakiness to her voice made me think that she might start crying soon.

  Her daughter was either oblivious to this or didn’t care that her mum was becoming emotional. “You are trying to control me,” Ellie insisted. “You’re a control-freak and you want to turn me into one. You want to turn me into you.”

  A slightly shorter pause from before, but it was clear a nerve had been hit by those words.

  “That’s it, isn’t it?” Ellie suddenly blurted out, seemingly enlightened. The next second, I heard her jerk upright. “That’s why you’re always in my face, my life. You say you want me to have the life you never got - thanks to getting pregnant with me and having to give up your hopes and dreams and marry and settle down. But what you really want is to live through me. Live vicariously.”

  “You’re wrong,” Kim argued, sniffling. “The last thing I want is for you to turn into me. And frankly, I don’t care if we become polar opposites, sometimes it feels like we are anyway, as long as you don’t make the same mistake-” Her words came to an abrupt halt.

  “Don’t worry, mum.” Ellie was being sarcastic. “I’m not stupid enough to get pregnant by my best friend at 18. In fact, I don’t have a single male friend, thanks to you. I’m not desperate enough to fall for the first stranger that shows an interest in me either.”

  “Well I wasn’t desperate either,” Kim snapped.

  Then she was silent.

  “Of course you weren’t desperate,” Ellie said slowly, the sentence broken up. “You and… dad were a couple…”

  She had some difficulty saying the word dad. I had noted the coldness between father and child, a stark contrast to how Jake was with his youngest daughter, Heather. The siblings got along though. They weren’t as close as some sisters could be, but they loved each other. I didn’t get the feeling that Ellie resented her little sister for being the apple of their father’s eyes. Teenaged brat or not, Ellie was clearly mature enough to deduce that Heather wasn’t to blame for their father’s differing treatment of them.

  “Yes we were good friends,” Kim murmured. I sensed a confession coming along. “We weren’t a couple at that time… He didn’t get me pregnant. Jake isn’t your biological father.”

  It took Ellie a long moment before she could make an utterance. “I’m not - he’s not - I’m not - he isn’t my - my real father?”

  Her mother didn’t respond to the stuttering with words but with soft sobs instead.

  “Tell me who is,” Ellie demanded. “Tell me everything about him.”

  Despite the longing in Ellie’s voice to hear about her real father, all Kim said was, “His name is David Ryan and he lives in London.”

  “And?” Ellie probed angrily.

  “And nothing. He’s not worth it love, trust me.”

  “Tell me more!” Was she crying now? I found myself taking a step forward but made myself stop. The heat of the witch’s spell was pulsating at the closeness of the very thing it was cast to obliterate: vampires.

  “There’s nothing to tell, Ellie. He isn’t worth it.”

  “Well, if you won’t tell me then I’m going to find out myself,” she challenged.

  “No you are not!” Kim shouted.

  “Get your hands off me. I’m never going to forgive you for this. And I’m not staying in this house.”

  Chapter 11: Runaway

  Mother and daughter rushed upstairs, Ellie in front, quietly sobbing. They argued for a while, Kim trying to convince Ellie to stop packing her things and not leave home and Ellie throwing harsh words in return. It didn’t look like Ellie was going to be placated or convinced to stay. She was definitely leaving the house.

  Tonight.

  In the next short minutes…

  So I tried something, something I never thought I would need to even consider, but now the situation more than called for it. Focusing on Amber’s mind, I worked on layering her lens with enough ink to make her think that Ellie never existed. It was no use simply making the girl physically invisible to the psychic, as that would alert them all about something being wrong. That’s why I hadn’t bothered shielding Ellie from her bodyguards.

  Now however, tearing her away from the witch’s radar was just the ticket.

  As Ellie continued to hurl accusations and curses at her mother, and Kim tried to apologise to no avail, I suddenly felt cold. Well, I didn’t feel the nearby barrier of heat anymore. Tentatively, I stuck out my hand and felt for the warm magical partition that had been there only moments ago. Huh, I thought to myself. There was nothing but summer night air.

  The magic was gone.

  Completely.

  Was I that quick? That good? So gifted that Amber had dropped the powerful protection spell she had around the street? Of course she had! Why would she be casting and maintaining such spells when the person she wanted to protect them with didn’t even exist? Wow, I complimented myself. I was better than I thought.

  “You’re not leaving home!” Kim screamed, delivering me from my smug thoughts.

  “I can’t stay in this house anymore,” Ellie shouted back. Their voices came closer to the door and I instinctively tightened the shield around me, concentrated harder on the blind-spot I’d thrown on Amber’s mind and memory.

  Ellie rushed out of the door with a backpack and I felt a thrill as I saw her.

  “Come back,” called her mother from their doorstep, crying furiously while her husband put his arms around her, restraining her from running after Ellie.

  “Its okay, Kim,” Jake said to his half-hysterical wife. “Let her stay with a friend for a bit, she’ll calm down eventually. She’ll come home when she’s ready.”

  “Never,” Ellie retorted and ran straight into my path.

  Backing away, I walked amongst the shadows as I followed Ellie out of her street. She was heading towards the neighbourhood I’d made my spy-headquarters. Good thing, since my bike was parked in that vicinity.

  It was then that I noticed her two guards. How could I forget they had someone watching the house at night too? They had been sitting inside a car on the opposite street and as soon as they saw their charge, they exited their vehicle and began to follow Ellie on foot, keeping their distance.

  Normally, that would have left me feeling annoyed and frustrated, but knowing how easily I’d fooled a powerful witch like Amber, I hardly put much effort into blocking out Ellie from these watchers’ knowledge. When they looked at each other confused, and then retreated to their car, I realised I’d succeeded in getting them off our trail too.

  Really, it had been so easy!

  Turning to Ellie, I saw her hurry forward, most likely worried that her mum would run after her. Lowering my shield to her as she made it to the corner I’d been listening in on her all evening, I decided to startle the girl.

  “Enjoying your walk, Ellie?” My tone was amused towards the end of the sentence as she halted in her tracks. Her heart rate sped and her breath caught. “Haha,” I said, smug that I had this e
ffect on her.

  “How d-do you do that?” she stuttered.

  “Do what, Elisia?” I fixed an innocent expression on my face.

  Irritated and on edge, she spit out, “Oh, I’m not in the mood for this.”

  “Not in the mood for what?” I gave her a smile.

  Agitated by my nonchalance, she shook her head and started walking forward.

  “Slumber party, Elle?” I asked conversationally. “Am I invited?” It would be interesting if she did. Once invited, I would be able to enter that house whenever I wanted…

  “You most certainly are not invited!”

  I chuckled at her strict response. “Worth a try.” I shrugged. Yes, it was definitely worth a try. She however, did not find my response amusing. “Dear, dear Elisia,” I said to her frowning features, my tone indulgent. “How obvious must I be to make you see how much I crave your company? Do you honestly not like me, even a little bit?”

  Clearly, she liked me, just a little bit, because she slowed her walk as I spoke and by the time I finished, she was standing still. “I don’t know,” she murmured. “I think I could like you.”

  Her honesty caught me off guard. What surprised me was my reaction to her unexpected confession.

  I liked the idea.

  More than I should.

  And not for the reasons I should either.

  I had the oddest sensation that if my heart was still alive, it would have missed a beat just then.

  “But,” she continued sadly, “I’m not ready for… for anything. My life’s pretty messed up right now.”

  Urging myself to not hear the pain behind her words, and more importantly, to not care about what she was referring to, I resorted to teasing her. “I clean up as well as, and as fast as I run. Maybe a night out with me is exactly what you need right now.”

  She rolled her eyes. It seemed as though she was about to tell me to get lost and make her escape like she had twice before, when suddenly, her eyes changed. They became… rebellious. There was something else in her new expression, something I knew very well. I’d seen it before, both on my face and others I worked with.

  Desire for revenge.

  Revenge on her mother. Yes, I thought in triumph. She would agree to this just to annoy Kim.

  But when she said, “I don’t want a night out with you,” I wondered whether I had misread the signs. Celebrated too soon.

  “How about a night in, then?” I still tried, my tone half-serious. She would definitely tell me to get lost now and run away. Would I let her get away this time too? I couldn’t afford to. I’d gotten far too close to the house, my scent lingering behind me. It was too big a risk to let her go this time.

  “I thought you’d never ask,” Ellie said the next second, almost alluringly. Flirtingly.

  I couldn’t believe it. She had agreed to come with me. Wow!

  Almost tasting victory, I smiled triumphantly. Overly excited by the thought, venom filled my mouth, washed over the contacts I wore on my red eyes. Great, I moaned internally. The overflow of venom in my eyes had dissolved the lenses much sooner than the 2-3 hours they usually lasted.

  Quickly, so quick that Ellie didn’t even notice the movements, I positioned fresh new blue-coloured contact lenses over my eyes.

  Though she had no idea what took place in that fraction of a second, I realised that Ellie had detected something, because she shook her head in a way that said, Surely, I imagined that! What had she noticed? I acted too fast for any human to suspect I moved a muscle.

  Perhaps she felt the vibration of the air as my hand moved through it so fast…

  I gave it no thought because she started walking again, this time in the opposite direction to where she’d been headed. “Great,” I said as I followed. “My bike’s just parked over there.” I gestured towards the next street. “Though I should probably warn you, it’s not as fast as me.”

  Ellie gave me an unimpressed smile, her face saying, Whatever! “Where do you live?” she asked quietly.

  “Just across town,” I shrugged.

  It appeared as though she was going to say something but decided against it.

  We reached my bike in silence, me wondering whether this was it, the night I finally put an end to this. She was probably asking herself whether she was making a terrible mistake. I hoped she wouldn’t suddenly realise that getting back at her mother wasn’t worth going home with a complete stranger.

  “Don’t call me anything other than Ellie,” she suddenly instructed, eyeing my bike intently as I sat down on the seat.

  “Okay.” Again I chuckled at her sternness. It was sort of adorable. And it wouldn’t be so hard to remember this piece of advice for the remainder of her life, which was now looking to be a matter of minutes. “I shall only call you Ellie for the rest of your life.”

  “And what shall I call you?” she asked, flicking her eyes to me.

  “I thought you’d never ask.”

  “Well?” she demanded impatiently.

  “Call me by my name,” I advised her, pulling her onto my lap. Making the necessary adjustments so that she was sitting comfortably, her legs on either side of my body, facing me, I revved the engine.

  “I can’t sit like this,” she moaned but there was no way I was going to listen. I covered us both with my shield, bike and all, from everyone in the world, and headed for my apartment.

  “Call me by my name,” she suddenly said in my ear. “I would, if you told me.”

  I knew she was rolling her eyes too, wondering why I had yet to tell her my name. She would never know the reason I kept it secret from her to this point, and even though I could have given her a fake name all along, I wanted her to know my real name.

  “Christian,” I told her.

  Chapter 12: Hesitations

  Dismounting my bike when we reached my flat, Ellie showed the first signs of weariness, and even fear of being alone with me. I made the house at the end of the street visible to her but still kept the rest of the town blind to it. Her familiar brown eyes roamed the now dark, quiet neighbourhood, sensing that something was not quite right.

  It was too quiet.

  I wish I could say it was because I’d fed on the residents, satiated my thirst, but alas, most of the inhabitants of this street were on holiday. That’s why I chose this locale, this basement flat with white walls and clean modern furnishings.

  The more secluded the better.

  Her unease did subside as she took in the flat’s interiors, and I relaxed, realising I’d been… nervous? Surely not! My eyebrows mashed together as I frowned at my ridiculousness. She didn’t notice this, as occupied as she was with appraising the open-plan living space which combined the bedroom, living room, and kitchen. When her inspection of my abode was complete, Ellie turned to me and smiled, impressed by the flat. She likes it, I thought and again felt… nervous?

  I had to say something quick. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting any company tonight,” I muttered and uselessly made to rearrange perfectly arranged accessories in the room. From the corner of my eye, I saw that she found this just as ludicrous as I did. “Please sit, Ellie.” I gestured to the red sofa near the double bed.

  Tentatively, she took her seat, right on the edge of the couch. Her apprehension returned and it radiated off her in gentle waves, her eyes lost in thought. And suspicion.

  Or intuition.

  Then there was fear. Her lips parted as though she were mutely gasping at some revelation. Abruptly, she jerked off the sofa.

  “Everything alright, Ellie?” I kept my tone casual.

  “Yes, I mean no. I mean, I’m sorry.” She spoke very fast and I noted the slight hysterical edge to her voice. “Can you give me a lift home? I mean, a lift back to where you picked me up?” Keeping her eyes off me, she pulled her rucksack on.

  “Sure.” I won’t, I continued in my head. But then I wondered whether it would be the third time I let her out of my grasp.

  She was astonished by my res
ponse. “Really?”

  “Of course.” Not, I followed up in my mind and chuckled. “What do you expect me to do, keep you locked up here?”

  Her reaction told me that’s exactly what she had expected. Not that she was wrong, she wasn’t entirely right either. I wasn’t going to keep her hostage as I had her classmate Selma.

  I was going to kill her.

  Believing my lies as I knew she would - I am very good at acting - she sighed and said, “Thanks.”

  Now came the moment the last few days had been leading up to. Or had the moment passed, because surely I should have snapped her neck as soon as she entered the flat? Why was I playing the good host, offering her a seat? There was no food or drink in the house but had there been any, would I have offered her refreshments? What was the point in keeping up appearances, postponing the inevitable? She was here to die. I should do it. Now. Or soon.

  Before she ran from me again.

  Why was I thinking of her escaping?

  The answer to all those questions related to the question I found myself asking her. “Can I ask something first, Ellie?” Holding her gaze, I asked about the one thing that I just had to know. “You said you could like me-”

  “Yes,” she cut me off. “I could, but I don’t know if I do. I could also not like you. It can go both ways.”

  “It will go only one way,” I realised. “Why else would you have come with me?”

  “I thought I wanted something,” she said quietly, almost to herself. “And now, it feels like… feels wrong.”

  “I know I want you Ellie,” I uttered before I could stop myself. “And now, it feels like… feels right.”

  “I’m sorry, I have to go.”

  “Then I shall have no choice but to chase you.” She wasn’t going anywhere. She answered the question and now it was time to end this.

  End this sudden stupid madness coming over me.

  “Catch me if you can,” she challenged half-heartedly and twisted around to head towards the door.

  I chuckled as I thought that of course I could catch her.

 

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