All the Right Mistakes

by Laura Jamison

  As she was tidying up her desk in preparation to leave, her phone rang.

  “Hey, Scott,” she answered, trying to sound like she needed to be walking out the door. “What’s up? Did the babysitter leave early?”

  They had agreed that they would hire a college student to help keep the kids entertained over the summer so that Scott could have a solid eight hours for his consulting work during the workweek. So far, it seemed to be going really well. But that’s always when something would go wrong in the past—just when you started to think you had things figured out and could relax.

  “No, she’s with the kids at the zoo. She’s great. I hardly have to lift a finger. That’s not why I’m calling.”

  “Did you want me to pick something up on the way home?”

  “No, Sara, it’s nothing like that. It’s work stuff. I just got a call from one of my clients. They want me on staff full-time. It’s actually at a bigger company than the one I left last year.”

  Oh boy, thought Sara.

  “Scott, I thought we agreed that neither of us would go back to a big job.”

  “Hey, they came to me. I wasn’t out looking. I know what we said, but how can I say no to this, Sara? I mean, come on. They want me to run the whole IT operation, worldwide. That’s huge.”

  “Uh, you do it the same way I did. You just say no.”

  “But it’s different for you.”

  “Why is that exactly, because I’m a woman? We had a deal, Scott.”

  “I guess,” said Scott quietly. “I need to think about it. It just seems like something I shouldn’t just reject out of hand. We can get more help, you know.”

  “Okay,” said Sara, “but please don’t forget your advice to me at Disney. Think about what you really want. If you do go back to a demanding job, you won’t have to do as much at home, but you will also start to miss seeing your kids grow up. You can’t have it both ways, Scott. Nobody can.”

  As they hung up, Sara wondered if she was naive to think she understood what Scott wanted. Maybe he found working at home emasculating. He would be great in the job they were offering him. And he deserved to go for his dreams too. She really should hear him out. He wasn’t her, and maybe they wanted different things.

  She was right, anyway, that things always went haywire just as you figure out your family rhythm. Why does everything always have to be so hard? she wondered as she headed for the door.

  HEATHER

  From Heather Hall’s Twitter

  Heather Hall @therealheatherhall ·June 4

  If you’re going through hell, keep going #favoritequotes #thefrenchingoodtimesthebritsinbad #winstonchurchill

  ← Reply Retweet ♥ Favorite ··· More

  ELIZABETH

  Today was the day. Bombs away, thought Elizabeth.

  She had gotten on Joe’s calendar for ten o’clock that Thursday morning. She knew most people liked to quit on a Friday, but she planned to come in tomorrow with her head held high and no drama. Not that she wasn’t planning to celebrate tonight, of course. She was meeting Carmen and Martha at the bridal salon after the fireworks and intended to drink exactly one sip of champagne followed by multiple flutes of sparkling water.

  It was five minutes until ten, and it was time for her to get her game face on. She opened the closet in her office and took out a shoebox. It had been uncharacteristic of her, but she had bought new shoes for the occasion. It was her homage to Blake, she thought with amusement. She planned to wear the gorgeous new heels for exactly the amount of time it took her to tell Joe the news (she was figuring less than five minutes if history was any guide). The shoes were wildly expensive, and she didn’t want to stretch them out too much. She would want to wear them again next year when she launched her business.

  She slipped the heels on and considered whether she should do any of the power poses she had read about in one of those women’s career books. Nah, she thought. I’m pregnant with twins. I’m going to be a presence no matter how I’m standing.

  She checked her makeup one last time, put on one more swipe of lipstick, and rose to walk over to Joe’s office.

  The heels bit into her swollen feet as she walked down the hall, but she ignored the pain.

  As she rounded the corner, she ran into none other than Blake, who said as she breezed past Elizabeth, “Great shoes, mama! Hey, you haven’t called me about lunch!”

  And I never will, thought Elizabeth as she arrived at Joe’s door.

  Before Elizabeth could even knock, she heard Joe bark, “Come!”

  “Hi, Joe,” began Elizabeth as she opened the door and walked in with as much authority as she could muster. “Thanks for making time for me.”

  “Listen, I really don’t have more than five minutes. Things are really on fire today,” Joe said with his back turned to her, organizing a stack a documents.

  Sure they were, thought Elizabeth. When were things not on fire in Joe’s world?

  “No problem, Joe. I’ll be brief. Effective tomorrow, I am leaving the firm. I will have my office cleaned out and my files transferred by Monday.”

  Joe whipped around to face her, and after about three beats he snapped, “Well, that would be really stupid. You are one of our most valuable partners.”

  “Joe, respectfully, then you should have fixed the situation with Grey.”

  “Elizabeth, I had no choice, you know that.”

  “Joe, we always have a choice.”

  Joe’s eyes flashed, but he seemed to compose himself. “Well, what are your plans?” he asked. “Going to take some time with the babies, I suppose?”

  “Quite the opposite actually. I’m opening up a new firm in January.”

  “That’s not going to last,” said Joe, sounding a little harsher than he probably had intended.

  He sighed and continued, “I don’t mean to be a jerk, but you need to rethink before you leap. What client would want some no-name firm doing their work? None of ours, that’s for sure. Really, Elizabeth, don’t make decisions while you’re pregnant. Go have your babies and come back to us when you’re ready.”

  “I appreciate your support, Joe, but I’ve made up my mind— and I have a great business plan,” said Elizabeth. “I have a good friend who practices in-house, and she has informed me that clients are more open to taking a risk on an unknown firm if they are offering something different than the standard by-the-hour model. Our bill rates have become quite impressive, I’m sure you’d agree.”

  “You get what you pay for,” said Joe, now with some irritation. “Clients know it, and that’s why they pay up in the end. Hey, best of luck to you, I just hope you realize what you’re setting yourself up for.”

  “It will be a success, Joe. And, by the way, it won’t just be me. It will be a team. I’m going to make the place a fun, relaxed, flexible place to work. I think there will be a lot of interest. And that will make us a name eventually. Every business has to start somewhere.”

  Elizabeth moved to leave but then paused. She had so much she wanted to say and decided not to, but maybe she could make a little headway for the next generation. “By the way, I hope you realize that you’re ignoring a lot of good people because your evaluation and promotion structure can overlook some real strengths.”

  “Like who are we ignoring exactly?” asked Joe.

  “How about Jenny? She’s up for partner this year. She’s not in my group, but she seems great.”

  “Yeah, I remember her from last year. She’s definitely not partner material. But don’t get me wrong—we love having her around. She’s a workhorse, and smart. Otherwise we would have gotten rid of her a long time ago. We have her on a fixed salary. I think it works for both of us.”

  Well, that’s short-sighted, Elizabeth thought.

  “What about Cassie?” she countered.

  “Yeah. Kenny told me she’s pregnant. That takes her off track for at least a year, but we’ll see what happens when she comes back.”

  “Okay, Joe, what ab
out Jeff? He’s not pregnant,” Elizabeth said sarcastically, starting to lose her cool.

  Joe gave her a disapproving frown.

  “He’s smart and does good work, I guess. But he doesn’t have the killer instinct. Kenny tells me he’s soft. Look, Elizabeth, whatever you think about me personally, and I’m starting to suspect you think I am a first-class asshole, the reality is that clients want assholes like me in their corner. The day I go soft is the day I go to the bottom of their list.”

  “I think reality is changing, Joe, and I’m part of a better way that’s coming,” replied Elizabeth.

  “We’ll see. Hey, keep in touch. If you do make a go, let’s talk down the road.”

  Isn’t that funny, thought Elizabeth. In the end, success always gets their attention. Who knows, maybe there was a deal to be made in the future.

  Elizabeth walked back to her office, feeling more and more free with every step she took. A few minutes later, she was seated at her desk with the tortuous heels kicked off. She decided to calm herself by reading the paper for a while.

  She found it right where her assistant placed it every morning. She noticed immediately that FLASH was back above the fold. The headline read, “FLASH Stock in Free Fall after Earnings Restatements.” Whoa, thought Elizabeth. Heather’s company was in really big trouble, way beyond their labor issues. She read on.

  The article described how FLASH had voluntarily made filings with the SEC restating their earnings for the last two years, resulting in disclosure of losses in the hundreds of millions of dollars. Apparently, FLASH’s investments in service delivery and speed had been both expensive and, in many cases, not sufficiently successful for them to recoup their investment. At the same time, the company had been quietly losing market share to a rival who used a proprietary algorithm to drive lower prices through bundling and delivery efficiencies, albeit with delivery times being much slower.

  According to the article, it turned out that most everyday Americans would rather pay less and receive their stuff a few days later than get it lightning fast from the comparatively overpriced FLASH. They also probably liked the social responsibility message from FLASH’s rival that the human impact of business was important. The paper got a quote from the rival stating that they would be pleased to waive the initial subscription fee for any customer who had been disappointed by FLASH’s labor practices and wanted to have a new experience based on providing a quality service without impacting the human rights of its workers and suppliers.

  The article wasn’t clear on how the massive losses had gone unreported for so long. The SEC was launching an investigation into FLASH’s accounting practices and was also planning to investigate the involvement of its auditors.

  In sum, it was a mess.

  When things went badly in business these days, they sure went badly fast, thought Elizabeth.

  CARMEN

  Carmen was standing in front of the full-length mirror admiring the pink tulle dress and the body that was filling it. Not bad for forty, she thought.

  “It’s a little unseemly to stare at yourself so long,” Martha pointed out wryly.

  “Shush,” said Carmen. “This is my princess moment, and what the princess wants, the princess gets.”

  “If you go bridezilla on us, I’m out,” replied Martha.

  “Martha, why can’t you just be a friend? Why do you have to be such a megabitch?” Carmen asked.

  “Because I can be,” Martha responded, continuing the scene.

  “You guys need to knock it off. You’re embarrassing yourselves,” said Elizabeth. “It wasn’t even funny in college.”

  “Lick it up, baby. Lick it up,” Carmen replied as she twirled in front of the mirror.

  “You look lovely in that one, dear,” said the elderly saleswoman as she walked by, perfectly turned out in her Chanel suit, pearls, gray bun, and sensible heels. “You know we have a very generous layaway plan, in case you are worried that this one is too costly.”

  As soon as the saleswoman was out of range, Carmen said sweetly, “Martha, can you please let her know I’m filthy rich. I swear, some things never change.”

  “You got it,” said Martha, and headed off to strike another blow against profiling.

  “Hey, while we’re alone, Carmen, I have something I’d like to ask you,” started Elizabeth.

  “No, you are not getting out of being a bridesmaid just because you are enormous. I already ordered extra material. We’ll just wrap it around you mummy-style if we have to.”

  “No, it’s not about the wedding. It’s about the babies,” said Elizabeth.

  “Oh, God, is something wrong with the babies?” asked Carmen with fear in her voice.

  “No, no, everything’s great. They’re great. I was hoping you would agree to be their godmother. They are practically half yours anyway.”

  “Oh, Elizabeth, I would be honored. I really hoped I could be part of their lives, but I didn’t want to be pushy.” Tears started tracking down Carmen’s face, and she came down off her pedestal to hug Elizabeth.

  “I see that I upset you greatly, please accept my heartfelt apology,” came a tight voice from the door. “We old women can be rather stupid sometimes, you know.”

  Martha was standing behind the saleswoman with her hands on her hips, having taken care of business.

  “Oh, no,” said Carmen, “these tears aren’t about that at all. I’m going to be a godmother—twice!”

  “Congratulations, dear,” the saleswoman said with relief. “Let me get another bottle of champagne for you ladies. Then we can move on to the dresses for the bridesmaids. We’ll need some extra time for this situation,” she continued as she sized up Elizabeth’s belly.

  MARTHA

  Martha was not accustomed to being the one sitting in the waiting area. She was usually the one behind closed doors calling the shots, holding the patient’s life in her hands.

  This must be how the families of her patients felt every time, she thought. It was terrible.

  She decided to shake off her anxiety and go for a walk around the hospital. She knew from experience that it would be easy to do a few miles without passing the same place twice.

  After about thirty minutes, she turned the corner and saw that she would be walking by the hospital’s chapel. She decided to go in and sit for a bit.

  She noticed an older woman sitting nearby wearing the ubiquitous Packers sweatshirt that was part of the official uniform of the citizens of Wisconsin. She didn’t want to disturb her, so she sat a fair distance away.

  After a few minutes, the woman got up to leave. On her way out, she said, “I hope your prayers are answered.”

  Martha replied kindly, “Yours too.”

  “Pardon me for asking, but do you know where I could go to get some information about the surgery they are performing on my daughter?”

  “Actually, yes,” said Martha. “Believe it or not, I am a doctor myself. I’m happy to try to answer your questions, at a general level anyway.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb you. I’ll ask someone else.”

  “Why? I’m sitting right here.”

  “You must be busy, since you’re a doctor and all.”

  “I’m actually just a mom these days. Shoot.”

  “All right then,” the woman said tentatively as she sat down. “Thank you, Doctor.”

  “Call me Martha.”

  The woman started talking to Martha about her daughter. As Martha listened to her, it occurred to her how she could use her skill set to be part of the world again. She might not save another patient, but perhaps she could find a way to help give comfort to their families and maybe even provide some medical counseling. It was so hard to be the one sitting in the waiting room. Especially for the families who were adopting special needs children like Hope. If she’d had a buddy during the process that specialized in medical issues, it would have been very helpful.

  As she talked with the woman, her idea began to tak
e on more definite shape. Martha had never been very religious, and when she had lost Lucy, she had turned her back completely to God, but sitting in the chapel that day, she felt a presence. As she looked up to the stained-glass window in the front of the room, she found herself thanking God for the shape her new life was taking. Her God was definitely not a guy, though, she decided.

  SARA

  Sara and Scott hadn’t talked about his offer since their conversation earlier in the week. It was Friday, and she was ready to get the issue settled. She didn’t want it hanging over their heads all weekend.

  She decided that she had to bring it up straight away when she got home, so she was rehearsing her arguments with Mikey on the ride home. He wasn’t a very good proxy for Scott because all she got in response to her serious conversation was a happy smile.

  She walked in the door with Mikey on her hip and saw a printout of a letter Scott had written to his client. She couldn’t resist reading it.

  . . . regret to decline your offer . . . pleased to provide services to you as an independent consultant . . . I look forward to continuing our relationship . . .

  Holy cow. He’s going to say no after all. Crap. She hoped he wasn’t doing it for her. That wouldn’t work long-term. She felt bad. She shouldn’t have guilted him into this.

  As she was thinking about what to say to him, he suddenly appeared in the kitchen.

  “Caught you,” he teased.

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “It was right there, and I just started reading.”

  “I left it there for you to read. I thought you would be pleased.”

  “Scott, of course I’m delighted. You know I love our setup now. But if you need to get back to a big job to be happy, you should take it. We’ll figure it out. We will have more money than we know what to do with, and we can hire help. Hell, we can even move into a new house. You should rip up that letter and just take the job.”