Dark Dreams

by Kristie K. Shafer

“Are we almost there?” I asked, staring through my sunglasses at the endless rows of cornfields. We’d been driving for hours through the countryside and I could no longer tell the difference from one town to the next. More than anything, I just wanted to get out of the car and stretch my legs, which were starting to tingle in an uncomfortable way.

  Mom cleared her throat. “Pretty soon.”

  Nathan was following us in his Mustang and I glanced back to see him talking on his cell phone once again.

  “Oh, Lord,” I said, leaning my head back against the headrest. “He must be talking to Deanna for the tenth time. She just won’t get over the fact that we’re really moving.”

  Mom tightened her hands on the steering wheel and glanced at me. “I’m sorry about this. I’m just so sorry… about everything.”

  I groaned. “Mom, for crying out loud, it’s not your fault. I can’t even believe you’re feeling guilty about it. I mean, nobody had any idea that he could be so violent.”

  It had been less than three months since my father had brutally attacked my mother. They’d been separated for the last couple of years because of his sporadic temper tantrums, along with his inability to stop screwing other women. When my mother had finally gotten up the nerve to leave him, surprisingly, he’d actually been pretty civil about it. Then, when he’d found out she’d moved on emotionally and started dating again, he’d went off in a jealous rage, striking back at her viciously. We were all still stunned about the horrifying ordeal.

  “I just wish they could locate him,” she said, staring straight ahead. “He’s… crazy.”

  I nodded. I was so ashamed, that any thoughts of him made me physically ill. It was still really hard to believe that my own father was capable of being so violent, especially since he’d been a cop and responsible for keeping people safe. After the attack, he’d disappeared, and my poor mother had spent several nights in the hospital recovering. When she finally came home, she wasn’t able to sleep at night without drugs, terrified that he’d show up and beat her again. Then, just recently, she’d been given a gift; a way out. Her employer offered her an accounting job in Montana and that’s where all three of us were now headed; to start a new life.

  “I think it’s good that Nathan’s getting away from Deanna anyway,” I said, staring in dismay at my short, stubbly nails. Not that they’d been perfect before, but all of the packing and cleaning had taken its toll. “She’s so whiny and annoying.”

  Mom smiled wryly. “Now, Nikki, you haven’t liked any of Nathan’s girlfriends.”

  “It’s not my fault he attracts the psycho ones.”

  She burst out laughing and I smiled, enjoying a sound that was finally finding its way back into our lives again.

  “God, you’re awful,” she said, shaking her head in amusement.

  I snorted. “Oh, come on. You know I’m right.”

  She grabbed her Ray-Bans from the center column and plopped them onto her nose. “Yeah, he’s a little too young to be tied down to just one girl. So if you ask me, this move will be healthy for the both of them.”

  “Oh, I’m sure Deanna will find someone else by next week anyway.” I made a face. “She’s so freaken needy.”

  “You really don’t like her, do you?”

  I shrugged.

  Deep down, I knew I wasn’t being totally fair, because the truth was, I was a little jealous. My brother and I had always been very close, especially living in such a dysfunctional family environment. My earliest memories were of my parents screaming and fighting, especially during the holidays. So, we’d weathered the storms together. In fact, for all of our lives, we’d been best friends; sharing and doing everything together. That is, until the tenth grade, when he’d discovered boobs, I mean girls. Of course I’d discovered boys as well; I’d discovered that most of them in my school were crude, boring, or just plain boobs.

  “So, mom,” I said, changing a subject in which, I had to admit, left me feeling a little guilty. “What were you saying about this place we’re renting?”

  She grinned. “I guess it’s just beautiful. It’s a cabin on Shore Lake that’s been on the market for some time. The owners are related to Ernie, and because of our circumstances; they’re letting us stay there relatively cheap.”

  Ernie was my mom’s boss; a really nice old man who’s been very supportive. He’s been like a father-figure to her, which is good because both of her parents passed away several years ago, and aside from us, she doesn’t have anyone else.

  “A cabin sounds really cool. Do they happen to have a boat?”

  “Yes, actually, and Ernie says he’s caught hundreds of fish on the lake, so we’ve got to check it out. I’m really excited about staying there. Honey, are you okay?”

  “Something in my eye,” I muttered as I pulled down the visor. I blinked until I finally got the eyelash out.

  I touched my long, unruly hair and frowned. It had been almost six months since I’d last had it cut; now it was down to my lower back and I was constantly fighting snarls. “Jeez, I could really use a haircut.”

  She put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed. “Don’t worry, honey. We’ll get you one before school starts. Once I get some extra money, you know?”

  “Sure.”

  I bit my lower lip and examined my reflection. Sandy brown hair, light blue eyes, and a pug nose. I’d always considered myself average looking, even though my mom said I looked exactly like her when she was growing up, and she turned out to be attractive. In fact, most of Nathan’s friends said she was a hot MILF, which was pretty gross, but I guess that meant there was still hope for me.

  I closed the visor and leaned my head back against the seat. “I wonder what the school is like.”

  I was definitely a little nervous about going to a new school, although, truthfully, I knew I wouldn’t particularly miss the old one much. In fact, you could say I was sort of a loner. Sure, there were a couple of girls I’d hung out with back home occasionally, but I preferred to be alone most of the time, or hanging out with Nathan.

  “Ernie didn’t say much, but honestly, I don’t expect him to know. He’s in his seventies and never had children.”

  “I’m sure it will be fine.”

  I really didn’t want my mom to worry about me. She was the one who needed the extra support from us and I wasn’t about to make her feel any more guilty about moving than she already did.

  She slapped her fingers on the steering wheel. “Oh, I forgot to tell you, they have a computer, so you can surf the Internet.”

  “Really? That’s cool,” I smiled. Although we used computers at school and my mom had her own laptop, I’d been nagging her forever about getting me one of my own.

  “Yes, but you’ll have to share it with your brother. I’d let you guys use mine, but…”

  I smirked. “I know, you have too many important files and you don’t want anything happening to your computer.”

  “Now you have one to use,” she answered. “And I won’t have to listen to you two badger me about it, anymore.”

  “At least I can download books from the library,” I replied. “We’ll be in the middle of nowhere out here and I’ll need something to do.”

  “Oh, I’m sure you’ll find plenty of things to do. Wait until you start school and meet some new friends. Or,” her face lit up, “maybe even some cute boys.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Right. I doubt very much that’s going to happen.”

  “Why in Heaven’s name would you say that? You’re a very pretty girl, Nikki. Don’t sell yourself short.”

  The truth was, I couldn’t care less about meeting anyone at the moment. Most of the girls at my old school had been constantly stressed out because of their immature boyfriends and I wasn’t about to go down that road, especially in my last year of high school. “It doesn’t matter.”

  She frowned. “Sure it does. You’ll want to go to all the dances, and then there’s the prom. You don’t want to miss out on all th
e fun. You’ll regret it later.”

  “Didn’t you go with dad to the prom?” I asked, then immediately felt rotten when I saw the bitterness reflected in her eyes.

  “I did,” she said slowly. “But, he wasn’t always so… volatile. And, really, he’s among the very few out there like that. You know, Nikki, you can’t be afraid of the world because your dad has some issues.”

  Yeah, but weren’t we running because she was still very much afraid?

  Of course, I didn’t dare mention that. Instead, I just changed the subject.

  “So, how much farther of a drive do we have, mom?” I asked, noticing the mountains coming up in the distance.

  “Oh, just a couple more hours,” she replied, plugging in her iPod. Seconds later, Adele, began to sing about Rumors.

  I stretched my arms and yawned.

  “Honey,” she said, lowering her sunglasses, “you look beat; why don’t you try and get some rest? I’ll wake you when we get there.”

  “Okay,” I said, closing my eyes. “Maybe I’ll just take a little nap.”