Accidentally Family

by Sasha Summers

  “He’s stabilized,” Graham explained, pressing the third-floor button on the elevator. “That’s good.”

  “Why is he in a coma?” Nick stared at the cup of coffee.

  “They were going at least sixty miles an hour. Then they weren’t. The human brain isn’t meant to withstand that sort of impact. Sometimes it shuts down the body so it can heal.” Graham knew it was a piss-poor clinical explanation, but Nick seemed to accept what he said.

  “Will he wake up?” Nick’s voice was tight, thick.

  “I don’t know.” He wished he had answers. He wished he could erase this whole nightmare for Nick and Honor. He knew what losing a parent could do to a kid—he saw it regularly. The only difference was neither Nick nor Honor could blame Felicity for Matt’s death. Unlike his own daughter.

  The elevator doors opened, and he asked for directions to Jack’s room. The closer they got, the more Nick’s posture stiffened like he was preparing for battle.

  Honor was sitting in a chair, staring blindly at the muted television set.

  “Where’s Mom?” Nick asked.

  “She went to the bathroom,” Honor said. “Is that for me?” she asked, reaching for the soda.

  “Nope,” Nick argued.

  “Share?” she asked.

  Nick sighed, offering her the bottle.

  Felicity came in, her face scrubbed free of makeup and her long hair pulled back into a ponytail. She looked young. And like she’d been crying.

  “Coffee?” she asked, taking the cup from Nick with a smile. “Perfect.” She sipped the black coffee, her face revealing nothing. She walked to the head of the bed and stared down at the toddler. “He looks so much like you, Nick. It’s…amazing.” She smiled at them. “You were never this still, of course. Even when you were sleeping, you’d toss and turn and make noise.” She sipped her coffee again, wrapping one arm around her waist. “It’s cold in here, isn’t it? Do you think he’s cold?”

  Honor leaned forward, resting her hand on Jack’s arm. “He feels okay, Mom.”

  Graham couldn’t begin to imagine what Felicity was thinking or feeling. He’d lost his wife, Julia, but they’d all known it was coming. There had been no loose ends or messes to clean up. He lost her knowing she loved him, that she knew he loved her. It hurt so much that he’d wanted to die for a while, but from missing her—not from things left unsaid.

  This was nothing like that.

  Matt had destroyed his family, willfully putting them all through hell. And now he would leave them with a reminder of that.

  Felicity stood, all five feet, two inches of her, with no sign of buckling. She’d gone to the bathroom, had her cry, and pulled herself back together. He didn’t remember much about the weeks leading up to Julia’s passing, but he was certain he hadn’t handled it half so well.

  “Sorry, no cream.” He nodded at her coffee.

  She stared into the cup. “I didn’t even notice.” Her blue eyes met his, held. “Thank you, Graham.”

  There were tears in her eyes. And damn but he wanted to hug her then, to tell her they’d survive this, that things would go on, even with a hole in the heart.

  “Dad?”

  Graham turned to find his daughter peeking in the door. “Hey, Diana, you okay?”

  She pushed off the door, her smudged gaze sweeping the room. “Yeah. I guess. Hi, Mrs. Buchanan. Hi, Nick. Honor. Guess tonight is totally sucking for you guys. I-I’m sorry.”

  Felicity was hugging his daughter before he realized she’d moved. “Thanks, Di. ‘Sucking’ is exactly the right word.”

  Graham saw the look on his daughter’s face, saw the yearning when Felicity drew her close. So why did she keep him at arm’s length? And why wouldn’t she let him call her Di anymore? It didn’t matter. He wanted her to have affection, even if he couldn’t be the one to give it to her.

  “Can I…I don’t know…do anything?” Diana glanced at Nick, then Honor.

  “We’re watching a marathon jewelry sale on the Spanish channel,” Honor said. “Come on in.”

  Diana brushed past him, barely acknowledging his presence now that she’d been welcomed in. “Heard anything?” Diana asked, resting her hands on the footboard of Jack’s hospital bed.

  “No, just waiting,” Honor said, scooching over in the hospital chair. “Wanna sit?”

  “You graduated tonight, didn’t you? You look great. I like your hair,” Diana said, sitting close to Honor. “Man, that’s got to be great. Getting out of here. Freedom. All that.”

  “Yeah.” Honor’s smile was tight, her gaze wandering to her mother and then to Jack. “Sort of forgot.”

  “Right. Yeah. Crap. Well… The accident is all over the news, you know? I don’t understand why they don’t put more lights out there on that road.” Diana sniffed, her attention on Jack. “Poor little guy.”

  Graham agreed. The strip of road curved sharply along the edge of a hill, with minimal visibility. This wasn’t the first fatal accident on that stretch of road, and it probably wouldn’t be the last.

  “Do you know what happened? I mean, what’s the news saying?” Honor asked, shooting him a nervous glance.

  “Just that they swerved into oncoming traffic.”

  “They? You mean Dad?” Honor asked.

  Nick snorted. “Careless. So fricking…stupid.”

  “Nick.” Felicity’s tone was soft but firm. “Now isn’t the time.”

  “No?” Nick’s voice was hard. “We’re in a hospital, Mom. On Honor’s graduation night. Because he swerved into oncoming traffic?”

  “Nick, please.” Felicity’s tone was soft, soothing. “Come on, hon. Everyone is tense.”

  Diana was staring at Nick. “I get that you’re upset, and you totally have every right to be pissed, but—”

  “You do?” Nick nodded. “You get it?”

  “Yeah. I. Do.” Diana slid from the chair, her hands fisting at her sides. “I hate that this happened as much as you do.”

  That was exactly the wrong thing to say right now—even if she meant well. “Diana,” Graham put in. “Let’s not make tonight harder than it already is.” Which was also the wrong thing to say—so, apparently, she got it from him. But the words were out, and the damage was done.

  “I didn’t do anything.” Diana’s face turned bright red as she held her hands up. “How am I going to make it harder? How about I make it easier and leave?” And she did.

  Graham ran a hand over his face, shaking his head. “I’m sorry.” He sucked in a deep breath. “She’s sort of wound up.”

  “You don’t need to apologize.” Felicity was frowning at her son. “She meant well.”

  Nick sighed, staring up at the ceiling.

  Honor stood, frowning at her brother. “Nickie, we’re not the only ones having a bad night, you know?” She sighed, brushing past her brother. “I’ll go talk to her. Just…” She paused. “Find me if there’s news on Dad?”

  “You don’t need to go, Honor.” Graham smiled. “She’s my family. You stay here with yours.” He nodded at Felicity and went off in search of his daughter.

  …

  Honor stared at her phone. Message after message kept popping up. Everyone in Pecan Valley knew her dad had been in an accident—and they all wanted details. Even Mr. Fabulous himself, Owen Nelson, had called. She’d ignored his call, as always, but he’d left a voice message. Not that she’d listened to it—or any of the voice messages for that matter. Somehow, that would make all this…real.

  Still, the texts kept coming in. Her fingers hovered over her screen, frozen. What to say?

  My dad’s in surgery.

  My dad’s baby mama is dead.

  My baby brother’s in a coma.

  She looked at baby Jack, sound asleep. Not sleeping. The poor thing was in a coma. A coma. The last time she’d seen him�
��the only time she’d ever seen him in person—had been his baptism. Nick refused to go, so she’d gone alone. Alone-alone. Dad’s friends weren’t Dad’s friends anymore, for the most part. Not the ones Honor knew, anyway. Which was weird because they weren’t Mom’s friends, either. Where had they all gone? Something else lost in the divorce.

  Jack had been an adorable screaming thing in a long, lacy dress. Before the day ended, Honor had felt exactly the same way as Jack—miserable and ready to go home.

  And then there’d been Amber. Painfully beautiful, model-in-a-bikini gorgeous and mesmerizing. She’d tried to include Honor, sort of. But it was clear she was having a hard enough time with the whole mom thing with Jack. Figuring out where Honor fit hadn’t been a top priority.

  That was the only time they’d had together. Last Christmas, their Christmas with Dad, things had “come up,” and she and Nick had stayed with Mom.

  And now, there wasn’t time to get to know Amber.

  She swallowed some of the soda she and Nick were sharing. It was sweet, too sweet, making the back of her jaw tingle.

  “I thought we were sharing,” Nick said, grabbing the bottle.

  She shrugged, smiling at him. She held up her phone, showing him the growing list of notifications. He nodded.

  “You, too?”

  “Yep.” He sighed, sitting on the arm of the chair.

  “Sort of nice,” she said.

  “Sort of annoying,” he returned, finishing off the soda.

  “It’s nice.” Her mom smiled, smoothing the blankets over Jack. “We’re lucky to have people who care about us.”

  Honor watched the sure movements of her mother, knowing just how calming her touch could be. Poor Jack. He didn’t have a mother now. Not having her mom around would be unbearable. And Dad… A hard knot lodged in her throat, making her breath unsteady.

  Dad would be okay. He had to be okay.

  “You want another soda?” Nick asked, interrupting her thoughts.

  She shook her head, standing and stretching. A quick glance at the muted television told her the way-too-smiley saleslady was still selling jewelry. Sitting here worrying wasn’t going to do any good. “Maybe a walk?”

  “You two go.” Their mom nodded. “Stretch your legs.”

  Nick didn’t argue when she hooked arms with him and led him down the hall. He didn’t say anything. Because he was just as freaked out as she was. He’d never admit he was worrying about Dad. But she knew. Nick said he hated Dad, and maybe he did. But part of him still hoped their dad would come home and somehow everything would be okay again.

  “You gonna keep it together?” she asked softly.

  “What, pretend Dad isn’t an asshole because he had an accident? Or be cool with pretending his kid is somehow worth my time when I was never worth his?” Nick stopped, staring down at her. “Can I say no? Because I’d like to say no. And maybe, ‘screw you, Dad.’” His eyes glistened, but then he tore his gaze from hers and stared at the oblong tiles lining the ceiling overhead.

  Honor didn’t say anything as she took his hand in hers. Because, deep down, a small part of her agreed with everything her brother said.

  Chapter Two

  Felicity stared down at Jack. Why did he have to look like one of hers? He was slimmer—her toddlers had been round, sturdy, and laughing. But still, the resemblance between this little boy and Matt—Honor and Nick—was undeniable. And it knocked the air from her lungs. The longer she looked at the boy, the harder it was to keep it together.

  “Matt,” she whispered. Saying his name stirred up emotions she’d spent the better part of the last two years locking away until she was stronger. Which was not now. “Fight. Don’t you dare leave him.” Or us. Not again.

  Matt was wrong. He’d be fine, he had to be. Because, if he wasn’t… He was wrong.

  Until then, she’d stay here with Jack. He shouldn’t wake up alone. And she shouldn’t cry anymore. Right. She sniffed, knowing it was a losing battle. Still, baby Jack shouldn’t wake up to tears.

  Poor little guy.

  After a brief hesitation, she sat on the bedside, wincing as the mattress shifted beneath him. Every muscle tightened, not wanting to hurt him. He might be unconscious, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t feel. But, dammit, she couldn’t just stand there. He looked so small. So helpless and alone. No baby should feel alone. Her fingers slid across the blanket until she reached his hand. It fit inside hers. Small. Motionless.

  She knew nothing about Jack.

  Did he have a middle name? A favorite toy? Or blanket? Food allergies? What words did he know? What sort of temperament did he have? He was probably walking. If he was anything like his siblings, he was running by now. Her gaze traveled over the thick white plaster cast that started right beneath his breast bone.

  Something about how still he was, how pale, terrified her.

  “Your little fingers are cold.” She rubbed his hand between both of hers and scooted closer, smoothing the blankets over him. “How about we get you some more blankets? Sound good?” She pressed the nurse’s button, pulling her vibrating phone from her pocket as she did so.

  Her mother—known to everyone simply as Mimi—and Matt’s most devoted hate-fan. Felicity glanced at Jack, the clock on the wall, and the picture of her smiling parents on her phone in a matter of seconds.

  The nurse’s voice came through the speaker. “Yes?”

  “Can we get some more blankets, please?” she asked.

  “Sure.” The static clicked off.

  Felicity stared at the phone. She might as well answer. If she didn’t, the calls would just keep coming. And, it would be nice to have them here—with her and the kids.

  “Hi, Mom,” she answered.

  “So, how was it?” Her mother was all singsong enthusiasm. As much as her parents had wanted to go to Honor’s graduation, Matt tended to bring out the worst in her mother. They’d decided to celebrate with her later—so there was no chance of ruining her graduation day.

  The irony wasn’t lost. “It was lovely. Honor looked gorgeous, lots of smiles and—”

  “What’s wrong?” her mother’s voice sharpened. “And don’t try to hide it from me, Filly. Something’s wrong, I can hear it in your voice… Shush, Herb, I can tell when our daughter’s upset.”

  Felicity smiled, imagining her father attempting to pacify her mother. “Well, a lot, actually. Nick and Honor and I are fine. But Matt was in an accident. We’re at the hospital.”

  “Turn the car around, Herb. Head to the hospital.” She paused. “No, no, the kids are all fine. But they need us.”

  “Thank you, Mom.” Felicity’s relief was instantaneous.

  “Have you eaten?” her mother asked.

  “I can’t remember.” Had the kids eaten? Tonight had been such a whirlwind of activity, the pregraduation chaos, the ceremony, this…

  “Well, we’ll take care of it when we get there. Have you heard from Charity? She was flying in tonight. Never mind, we’ll call the house and see if she’s here yet. Don’t you worry about a thing.” There was another pause. “Dad says to stay positive. We love you, Filly.”

  In all the chaos, she’d forgotten about Charity. Her sister had so wanted to be here for Honor’s graduation. But a storm in Chicago had grounded her flight, and Felicity hadn’t checked in to see where she was or when she might arrive.

  “Love you, too.” Felicity hung up, standing when the nurse carried in a few blankets. “Thank you. His little hand feels so cold.”

  “This one is fresh from the warmer.” The nurse handed her the top blanket first.

  It was toasty and soft, exactly what a toddler would want to cuddle up under. She covered Jack, tucking the fabric close.

  “Anything else?” the nurse asked.

  “I honestly don’t know. I feel so…useless.” She shook her h
ead. “Is there something I can do?”

  The nurse smiled. “Talk to him. Use his name. Some studies say patients can hear us. I’m sure he’d like that.” She placed the rest of the blankets on the foot of the bed and left.

  Does it work if the patient has no idea who is talking to them? Jack had never met her. He wouldn’t know who she was. Even if she had come up in conversation, he was too young to remember or care.

  Realistically, Matt and Amber wouldn’t have mentioned her. Matt had been so consumed with Amber that everything before her sort of faded away, including his other kids. Their recitals and games, birthday parties and special events were no longer noteworthy to Matt. She’d tried to plead their case, remind him that Nick and Honor were great young people—well-liked, smart, respectful, hardworking… That they needed their father.

  She drew in a deep breath, closed her eyes, and shook out her arms and hands.

  Stop. Those wounds weren’t healed enough to start picking at them.

  Besides, there was no point going over it again. No point in getting herself worked up. Jack was what mattered right now. She couldn’t stand seeing anyone hurting, especially a baby who had done nothing to anyone.

  “Your daddy will fight for you, Jack. He loves you so much…” Her voice broke. Felicity sucked in a deep breath, choking on a mix of anger and desperate sadness. Matt owed it to Jack—to all of them—to be strong. To stay.

  “In no time he’ll be right here, talking to you and holding you close.” More than anything, Jack needed someone to know he existed, someone to hold him and assure him that life was a wonderful adventure he’d share with people who loved him.

  Matt was that someone.

  “But, since he can’t be here right now, I will be. Okay?” What choice did she have? When Matt was better, she’d walk away. Her kids, her family, didn’t need any more emotional conflict.

  “I’m Felicity, Jack,” she murmured, stroking the silky-soft golden curls at his temple. “I’m…I’m a…friend of your daddy’s.” She wiped blindly at the tears she didn’t know had started. “I’ll stay right here with you, don’t you worry.” She cradled his little hand in hers, squeezing gently—hoping he felt it. The urge to hold him close, to rock him, washed over her. But he was too fragile for that now. That stark white cast was a vivid reminder of that fact. “I’m right here.”