Happily This Christmas--A Novel
Page 6
Yes, that was the reward that was supposed to make up for what was happening, Joylyn thought bitterly. If she went quietly and stayed with her father, then gosh, golly, the week before Christmas, she was allowed to come home.
“If I really behave, maybe I’ll get some gruel to go with my bread and water.”
Her mother shook her head. “Joylyn, it’s not a punishment.”
“What would you call it? You’re sending me away, Mom. You’re forcing me to leave. I’m going to miss Thanksgiving and all our traditions before Christmas. I’m getting ready to have a baby, all on my own. I’m going to be by myself at my birthing classes.”
“I wanted to go with you months ago, but you kept putting it off.”
“Because I thought there was time. It never occurred to me that you’d be kicking me out. I still can’t believe it. I can’t believe you’re sending me away. It’s horrible and I’ll never forgive you. Whatever happens for the rest of our lives, you will always have done this to me.”
Her mother’s expression was weary. “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
But she wasn’t sorry enough, Joylyn thought, her anger fading as sadness took its place. Nothing was going to change—her mother was tossing her out on the street, and the only person willing to take her in was her father. She was going to have to go live in some hideous little town where she knew no one, and then she was going to have a baby.
All her friends were in college or back on base in San Diego, and her husband was on the other side of the planet. Joylyn had thought she could count on her mom to be there for her, but she’d been wrong about that.
Fear joined the other emotions swirling inside her. More tears fell. She waited for her mom to walk over and give her a hug, but she didn’t. When Joylyn turned back to the doorway, she saw her mother was gone and she was alone.
CHAPTER FOUR
WYNN SAT ON the porch next to Garrick. They were close enough that their shoulders brushed every now and then. She felt foolish for noticing but so what? No one had to know about her borderline schoolgirl crush on her hunky neighbor.
“Nervous?” she asked.
Garrick kept his gaze on the street in front of the house. “Yes. Excited, too.” He glanced at his watch. “She should be here by now.”
“Don’t start worrying. She’s not late. Pregnant women have to pee a lot. I’m sure she’s made at least three stops on the drive from Phoenix.”
His mouth twisted. “I shouldn’t have let her come out by herself. I should have driven out to Phoenix, then brought her here. What if something happened?”
“What if something didn’t?” She smiled at him. “Let’s wait for the crisis before we panic.”
“You’re not panicked at all.”
“It’s important that one of us stay rational.”
He drew in a breath. “You’re right. Did I mention I’m nervous?”
“You did. It’s going to be okay.”
She hoped she wasn’t lying about that, Wynn thought, not sure how Joylyn’s visit was going to go. She didn’t understand why Garrick’s daughter would have suddenly refused to see her father. Maybe she’d been in a snit for a few weeks, but surely that would have blown over. And where was her mother in all this? There was no way Wynn would have let Hunter act that way. Family was family. Even if things were difficult, you made it work. Of course that was easy for her to say—Hunter was her only family. She wouldn’t turn her back on him regardless of what he did. Nor would she let him turn from her. But she knew it was easy to have an opinion when she wasn’t intimately involved in the situation.
A light blue Prius pulled into the driveway. Garrick was instantly on his feet.
“That’s her.”
He crossed to the car in three long strides and pulled open the door. A very pregnant young woman slowly got out.
“Hi,” he said with a smile. “How was the drive?”
Joylyn was pretty, with blue eyes and medium brown hair. Her eyes were red, and if Wynn had to guess, she would say that Joylyn had spent much of the drive in tears.
She looked at her father without returning his smile. “How do you think it was? Awful. My back hurts, my feet are swollen and every driver on the road is an idiot. I can’t believe I’m going to be stuck here until Chandler gets home.”
Garrick took a step back. Wynn saw the confusion on his face, followed by hurt that he quickly hid. She stood and approached them.
“Hi,” she said, holding out her hand. “I’m Wynn, your neighbor to the south.” She shook hands with Joylyn. “Look at you. You’re what? In your eighth month?” She grimaced. “Your back’s a mess, huh? I have a fourteen-year-old, but I still remember how much my back hurt toward the end of my pregnancy. What works for you, ice or heat?”
Joylyn looked startled by the question. “Uh, heat.”
“For me, too. There’s a heating pad in the bathroom. It’s the extra big kind so you can cover a lot of area.” She smiled. “Your dad came to me for advice so he’d have what you’d need to be comfortable. Be sure to tell me if I forgot anything.”
“Thank you.”
Garrick moved closer. “Let me show you around. You must be tired from the drive.”
Her expression returned to peevish. Wynn expected another outburst, but she only pressed her lips together and stared pointedly at the house.
Garrick quickly added, “I’m really glad you’re here, Joylyn. You look great.”
“I look hideous and I feel worse. Being pregnant sucks.” With that, she pushed past them and walked into the house.
Wynn glanced at Garrick, not sure what to say. He had to feel terrible about what had just happened. From an outsider’s perspective, Joylyn was trying to be as difficult as possible.
“Don’t take it personally,” she said quietly. “It seems like she’s mad at the world.”
“I’m part of that.”
“Maybe, but right now she’s lashing out. Try not to engage.”
He looked at the house. “I really want her here. She’s my daughter.”
“Keep telling yourself that.”
He nodded, then collected the luggage and carried it inside. Wynn followed, a sinking sensation filling her chest. Joylyn stood in the middle of the living room.
“Why aren’t there any Christmas decorations?” she asked. “Are you planning on ignoring the holiday? In case you’ve forgotten, it’s my favorite time of year.” Tears filled her eyes. “Or are you going to ruin that, too?”
He put down the suitcases. “It’s a couple of weeks until Thanksgiving. We never decorate for Christmas until the Saturday after, and we don’t get the tree until at least ten days into December. Honey, I remember all of our traditions and I want to enjoy them with you, like we used to. I’m glad you’re here.”
She responded by sighing heavily. “Which room is mine?”
“The one across from the bathroom.”
Without saying anything else, she walked away. Seconds later a door slammed. Garrick stared after her.
“She hates me. I’m screwed.”
Wynn privately agreed, but knew saying that out loud wouldn’t help the situation. “What did her mom say when she asked if Joylyn could stay here?”
“She said the boys were a problem.” He looked at Wynn. “Alisha’s three boys are between the ages of fifteen and eleven.”
“Yikes. That would be a lot for Joylyn to deal with.”
“That’s what Alisha said when she asked if Joylyn could come here.”
Wynn wondered what Alisha hadn’t told him. “Did she mention her attitude at all?”
“No, although Joylyn seems really upset.”
“Like I said, it’s not personal.” But it was going to be a problem.
“She’s still mad at me and I don’t know why.”
“It’s been six years, Garrick. A
lot has happened. Give her a little time to adjust.”
He glanced down the hall. “I will. I just hope...” He shook his head and turned to Wynn. “You’ve been great and I appreciate all your help, but I’ve got this.”
She knew that he was giving her a polite escape, but wasn’t sure he was going to be all right on his own. From Wynn’s point of view, Joylyn was making things more difficult than they needed to be.
“Tell you what,” she said. “I have to do my weekly grocery shopping today. Why don’t I pick up some steaks and chicken and a few salads? You and Joylyn can come over. You’ll man the barbecue and I’ll ask Hunter to try to make friends with your daughter. I know there’s a big age difference, but she’s used to teens his age. Plus she might want to play video games with him or something. I know he’d love an extra night of playing.”
Garrick’s gaze met hers. She saw both desperation and gratitude. “You don’t have to do that.”
“I want to help. Plus the wine you brought last time was really good.”
He surprised her by wrapping his arms around her and hugging her tight. The unexpected contact flustered her a little—not that she was complaining. Being close to a big, strong man was really nice. He was warm and solid and he smelled good. She relaxed in his embrace and put her arms around his waist, wishing the act had been fueled by a little bit more than gratitude.
“Thank you,” he said, resting his chin on her head and proving her point. “I mean it. Thank you.”
Tingles began floating through her body. If he kept up the hugging, she would pretty much agree to anything.
“You’re welcome.”
He released her.
For a second she didn’t want to let go, but figured he had enough on his mind without dealing with her wayward advances. In his present state of distraction, he might not even notice if she came on to him, and she doubted her ego was up to that kind of rejection.
She stepped back. “Feel free to show up early. Anytime after four. And if you and Joylyn work things out and want a quiet dinner alone, just text me and let me know.”
His mouth twisted. “I don’t see that happening.”
She didn’t, either, but you never knew. “Think positive and know that if nothing changes, you have a steak to look forward to.” She smiled. “And pie.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Pie?”
“I’m in the mood to make one. I’m thinking berry.”
“Is there anything you can’t do?”
“I have flaws, but I like to keep them hidden.” Along with a couple of secrets from her past, she thought as she waved and headed for the front door.
* * *
JOYLYN SAT AT the desk in the bedroom, trying not to give in to the rising panic she felt in her chest. No matter how much she felt as if she’d been exiled, she wasn’t trapped and she wasn’t in prison. She could leave anytime she wanted.
Not that she had anywhere to go, she thought, wiping the tears from her cheeks and wondering if it was possible to cry so much that a person got dehydrated. No matter how she felt, no matter how alone or scared or rejected, she had to remember the baby and do her best to do right by her son.
She placed her hand on her belly, trying not to think about the fact that if she wasn’t pregnant, she wouldn’t be suffering like this now. She would be back in San Diego, going to college and working part-time. She would still be missing Chandler, counting the days until he was home, but everything else would be easier.
If only she hadn’t panicked, she thought regretfully. She could have stayed on base and continued living her life. Except once Chandler had left, she’d gotten scared. She’d felt so alone that moving back in with her mom had made the most sense. But that hadn’t worked out, what with her brothers and having no support system. Her mom was busy with her new family—she hadn’t had time for Joylyn. And then her mother had thrown her out.
Her phone buzzed. Joylyn picked it up and read the text from her friend Holly.
You get there okay?
At least someone remembered she was alive, she thought.
I’m here and it’s awful. I should never have left San Diego.
What did your dad say?
Nothing.
He’s not happy to see you?
Why would he be? He basically ignored me for years. He’s only letting me stay because he doesn’t have a choice.
Joylyn, give him a chance to explain. He’s your dad.
Probably good advice, Joylyn thought, not that she would take it. Holly didn’t have a father, so she looked at things differently. She was always telling Joylyn to give her dad the benefit of the doubt.
A subject change seemed in order. How are things in SD?
Good. Rex is being especially sweet. I wish he wasn’t going away.
Rex was Holly’s boyfriend. They were both Marines and had been dating about a year. Joylyn had met Holly two days after Chandler started working with her. He hadn’t wanted his new wife to worry about his female coworker and had brought her home to dinner. Joylyn and Holly had become friends in maybe twenty seconds.
It’s hard when they’re deployed, Joylyn typed.
You know that one, don’t you? I gotta go, but I’m thinking of you. Kisses to my favorite baby.
Joylyn smiled at that and sent back a baby and a heart emoji. As she put her cell on the desk, she noticed an old, black rotary dial phone. Despite everything, she smiled. Where on earth had her dad found one? They were practically extinct.
She’d always loved the stupid things when she’d been a kid. She’d looked for them in old diners or bowling alleys and had kept a log of where she found them.
She rested her fingers on the dial. Things had been easier back then. Simpler. She and her dad had been tight—a team in a way. No matter what, she knew he would be there for her.
Not anymore, she thought grimly.
She rose and looked around the room. It was a nice size, with a pretty four-poster bed. There was a dresser and matching nightstands. The comforter was nice, and there were lots of pillows.
She thought about lying down and taking a nap, but decided it was too late in the day. She was already having trouble sleeping at night. Better to be tired for a little longer.
She opened her tote bag and took out a little Winnie the Pooh music box. When she and Chandler had discovered they were having a boy, they’d spent nearly a month trying to figure out the theme for their baby’s room. Eventually they’d settled on Winnie the Pooh, done in light blue and pale yellow. Right after that, she’d found the music box and had bought one for herself and had sent one to Chandler.
She’d brought it with her to feel more connected and because she had nowhere to put it. Once Chandler returned, they could move back into base housing, but right now she was pretty much homeless.
And stuck, she thought. Stuck where she didn’t want to be.
She rested her hand on her belly. “It’s just you and me, little one. I swear, no matter what, I will never do to you what your grandmother did to me.”
She felt the baby stir. The baby with no name, she thought, smiling. “Once you’re born we’ll name you,” she whispered. “Your dad and I have a list of names, but we want to see you first. We love you very much.”
She left the bedroom and walked into the living room. Her dad was still there, hovering by her luggage. He looked a little stunned, which almost made her feel bad. She knew she was being awful, but so what? He deserved it.
“Could you bring my bags in?” she asked, carefully avoiding looking at him.
Her dad picked them up as if they weighed nothing and started down the hall. When they were in place, on the bed, he turned back to her.
“Joylyn, what’s wrong? Why are you so mad at me? I meant what I said—I’m happy you’re here. I want us to be close again, but I don’t know what happened.�
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For a second she wanted to say it didn’t matter and throw herself into his arms, the way she had when she’d been little. But she didn’t—partly because she was still mad and partly because she didn’t know if he would catch her and hold her tight. He’d let her go so easily before. Why should she think he cared about her now?
“What happened is you abandoned me, emotionally and physically. You went away. One day you were there and then you were gone. Wow—that’s what Mom did, too, just now. Is this part of a master plan?”
His confusion was nearly comical. “I never abandoned you. You refused to see me. You told me you didn’t want anything to do with me. I showed up week after week and you slammed the door in my face.”
“So? You’re the parent. You’re not supposed to give up. If you cared, why didn’t you make me hang out with you? Why didn’t you insist I stay with you on the weekends? You could have forced me, but you didn’t. You were happy to have your time back. You never wanted to spend time with me.”
She felt tears forming and willed them away. The ache in her back got a little worse, but she ignored that, too.
“That’s not true. I wanted our time together. That was important to me.” He stared at her. “Joylyn, you’re my daughter and I love you. I’ve always loved you.”
“Oh, please. You disappeared for weeks at a time. When you came back, you weren’t interested in me at all. Then you went away again for like a year.”
“I was working.”
“On some secret assignment. I know. As if.” The man worked for the Phoenix Police Department. What kind of “secret assignment” would have taken him out of the city? “You could have seen me if you wanted to.”
“Joylyn, I wasn’t around because of my job.”
She held up her hand. “Whatever. I don’t want to hear it. Fine. You were working, but what about later? When you were back. You didn’t want anything to do with me. You moved away, leaving Phoenix for this crappy town.”
His confusion deepened. “I continued to show up every weekend until you left for college. I tried to see you a few times in San Diego, and you were always busy. You told me to stop bugging you. Why would you care that I left Phoenix?”