Happily This Christmas--A Novel

by Susan Mallery

  Her nine o’clock meeting had been successful, with the bride and groom narrowing down her invitation choices to just three. Wynn had ordered the samples, and they’d set up a second meeting to talk about the various options. A local business had ordered postcards for a mailing along with several sets of business cards, and more of Natalie’s special-order paper had arrived.

  Wynn did her best to keep her happiness to herself. Being cheerful was one thing, but giddy tended to confuse her employees and frighten the customers. During a brief lull, she busied herself putting up seasonal decorations, including a beautiful menorah, a tabletop Christmas tree, a Kwanzaa flag and her silly plastic Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs set. The latter had been a gift from Ms. James, Wynn’s neighbor when she’d been a kid. Ms. James had always believed in Wynn. Later, when Wynn was a scared and struggling single mom, she would think of Ms. James and vow to make her proud. She brought out the set every holiday season, mostly to try to show her friend that somehow she’d managed to pull it all together.

  Wynn got herself a cup of coffee and retreated to her office. She had several orders to proof, then payroll information to send over to her accounting person. She picked up the first flyer and studied the design. After measuring the borders, she carefully read each word to make sure it was spelled correctly. She’d just initialed the sticky note attached to indicate she’d reviewed the design when her cell phone rang.

  “Hello?”

  “Is this Wynn Beauchene?”

  “Yes.”

  “Hi, I’m Camilla Henderson. We’re in the process of reviewing Hunter’s Junior ROTC application, and I have a few questions.”

  Wynn stared unseeingly at the work on her desk. The caller was unfamiliar, as was the topic. Hunter’s what?

  “I’m sorry, but who are you again?”

  “I’m Camilla Henderson. I work for the local JROTC director. There are a few items missing from the application. I could get the answers now from you, if it’s a good time.”

  “His application to Junior ROTC?”

  “Yes.”

  What on earth? Hunter hadn’t applied to Junior ROTC. Wynn didn’t even know what that was. They’d never discussed anything like it, and Wynn had never signed any kind of application.

  Even as she mentally tried to make sense of it all, a bigger, uglier problem sat down in front of her. There was no way Hunter could have applied to any kind of program without getting a parent’s signature. And if Camilla had an application in her hands, one Wynn didn’t know about, then someone had faked the parental approval. And that someone was most likely Hunter.

  Disappointment joined confusion. She still wasn’t sure what was going on, but she was going to have to figure it out.

  “Sorry for sounding so distracted,” she said, doing her best to fake a casual tone. “I’m in a meeting. May I call you back later?”

  “Of course.” Camilla gave her a direct number and hung up.

  Wynn turned to her computer and typed Junior ROTC into the search engine. Seconds later she was on the website and learning that JROTC was, in fact, a real thing. From what she could tell, it was a leadership program that was very successful. She’d heard of ROTC at the college level but not anything in junior high or high school. But when she checked the local area, his school was listed as having a program. All of which was interesting, but didn’t change the fact that Hunter had gone behind her back to apply. He hadn’t bothered talking to her at all—he’d just done it.

  What had he been thinking? Did he really believe he could get into an ROTC program without her knowing? Even more to the point, why hadn’t he said anything to her? They talked about everything—or she had thought they did. Now she wasn’t sure about anything where he was concerned.

  She got to her feet and circled her desk. Her stomach hurt, and her head was spinning with questions and thoughts. This wasn’t her kid. Hunter didn’t act like this. When he wanted to do something, he asked and they talked about it. She wasn’t unreasonable. Why had he done this and what was she supposed to do now?

  She picked up her phone to text one of her friends, only she didn’t know if any of them would have the kind of advice she needed. After hesitating a few seconds, she texted Garrick.

  I have a kid problem I need to talk about. You have any free time today?

  It took only a minute for him to answer. I could grab a coffee right now if that works.

  It does. Thanks.

  They settled on a place. Wynn took her handbag from the drawer in her desk, told her office manager she would be gone for about an hour, then drove into the center of town where she parked and walked to the coffee shop by the river.

  She ordered two lattes and carried them to a table in the corner. For once the view of the Rio de los Suenos didn’t make her happy, nor did she appreciate the beauty of the day or the little Santa on the table.

  Two minutes later Garrick walked in. He spotted her and headed for the table. Under normal circumstances, she would have appreciated seeing him looking all manly in his uniform, but even that wasn’t enough to distract her.

  “I got you a latte,” she said. “I hope that’s okay. Or do you only drink black coffee?”

  He sat across from her and picked up the drink. “I enjoy a latte from time to time. Thanks for getting it for me. What’s going on?”

  “It’s Hunter.”

  One corner of his mouth turned up. “I kind of assumed that, with him being your only child.”

  She tried to smile back at him, but couldn’t, then explained about the unexpected phone call.

  “I went online,” she said. “Junior ROTC really exists.”

  “Sure. They’re at the high school. Ninth graders in junior high can also join the last semester before they graduate.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “I know about all the extracurricular activities going on at both the high school and junior high. I know which ones make my day easier and which ones don’t.”

  Interesting, but Garrick being good at his job wasn’t something she could care about right now.

  “He lied to me,” she said, doing her best to stay in her head. If she gave in to her emotions, she would end up losing control. Later, when she’d figured out what to do, she would cry and scream and throw things, just not now.

  “He lied to me,” she repeated. “He doesn’t do that.” She held up a hand. “I’m not saying he never lies—of course he does. He messes up. He can be lazy and forgetful. He’s a normal person. But this is different. It’s out of character for him, and I don’t know why he did it. Why didn’t he talk to me in the first place?”

  She looked at Garrick. “He never mentioned the JROTC thing at all. I had no idea he was thinking about it. I didn’t even know it existed. I don’t get it. Why wouldn’t he bring it up in conversation? Why wouldn’t he ask? He went behind my back and faked my signature. How can I ever trust him again?”

  Garrick put his hand over hers. “Breathe.”

  “I’m breathing.” Sort of. She pressed her free hand against her chest and consciously tried to relax. “Where did this come from and why didn’t he talk to me? I know I keep saying that, but it’s a real question. Why not discuss it the way we talk about everything else?”

  “Do you have any opinions on the military? Anyone in your family a former sailor, Marine, whatever?”

  “What? I don’t know. It was just my mom and me. I never knew any extended family, so I have no idea if anyone ever served.” She paused, trying to formulate an answer to the question. “I support the military. I appreciate those who serve. We need a strong defense.”

  His gaze was steady. “‘But not my kid?’”

  The question was a kick in the gut. She withdrew her hand. “I never said that.”

  “I know. I’m asking if you think it. Do you make it clear to Hunter that’s no
t an option? Not overtly but in subtle ways? JROTC isn’t a direct line to joining one of the branches, but it would expose him to the idea of it. Would you be okay with that?” He shook his head. “No, would he think you’re okay with it?”

  She wanted to say she’d never even hinted that he shouldn’t consider the military, but stopped herself. Was that true? While she knew she’d never said anything directly, she wondered if somehow she’d had a bias.

  “I don’t know,” she admitted. “I might have said something. I wouldn’t have meant it in a bad way. I’d be worried about his safety, and I have no real experience with the concept. It’s just not part of my world. It’s not like we’re near a military base or anything.” She clutched her coffee. “Does it matter? At the end of the day, he went behind my back and he was dishonest.”

  “I agree that’s the bigger issue. I was just trying to find out if there was an obvious reason.”

  “Not one I can see. I’m going to have to talk to him,” she said. “He is going to be in such trouble. I don’t even know where to begin with the punishment. And when we—”

  She stared at Garrick as an awful truth popped into her head. “Oh, no. He lied on his application. He wanted to join and by lying, he’s violated the honor code or whatever it is.” She dropped her head to her hands, then straightened. “Great, now it’s on me. I either keep quiet about the lie so he can be a part of JROTC, or I tell the truth and he doesn’t get in. If I don’t say anything, then I’m teaching him the wrong lesson, and if I rat him out, I’m the bad guy.”

  “You wouldn’t be ratting him out.”

  “You’re objecting to the word choice, but not the reality. This puts me in a horrible situation.” She slapped her hands on the table. “Why did he have to do this?”

  “I don’t know. I’m sorry you have to deal with it.”

  “Me, too. I don’t want to be the grown-up. I’m not the right person to be doing this. I can’t do this.”

  He leaned toward her. “Wynn, you’re the strongest person I know. You’ll figure it out. Trust your instincts.”

  “I can’t. I have crappy instincts sometimes. I’ve done horrible things in my life. Maybe this is a payback for that.”

  “Life isn’t that tidy. Besides, I don’t believe you’ve done terrible things.”

  “You’re wrong. I have.”

  “Shoplifting when you were seven?” he asked, his voice teasing.

  “No. I never did anything like that.”

  “You’re a good person. This is not some karmic justice. Hunter messed up. That’s all.”

  She knew in her head he was right, but in her gut she was less certain. She looked at him.

  “When I was nineteen, I fell wildly in love with a guy named Chas.” Despite everything, she smiled. “Not short for Charles or anything so mundane. Just Chas. He was blond and gorgeous and everything I’d ever wanted.”

  Garrick’s gaze narrowed. “Are we talking about Hunter’s father?”

  “We are. He was a professional surfer, waiting for the season to start up. Our meeting was so random, it shouldn’t have happened, but it did and I fell for him. I knew he was going to leave and I didn’t want him to go.”

  She remembered the pain of realizing Chas was going to leave her forever. She didn’t think she could physically survive—without Chas in her life, she thought she would cease to exist.

  “I begged him to take me with him. I told him I would pay my own way, carry his gear, anything.” She dropped her gaze to the table. “He said he wouldn’t take me along because he needed to focus. I would only be a distraction. I gave him my heart and he said I was a distraction. My heart broke.”

  “What did you do?”

  She reached for her coffee again, sucked in a breath and looked at Garrick. “I got pregnant. I did it on purpose. It wasn’t a mistake or an accident. I knew exactly what I was doing because I believed once he knew about the baby, everything would change. I knew it was wrong and manipulative, but still I did it.”

  Garrick’s eyes widened slightly. She sensed he was trying to hide his shock, but she saw the tension in his body. “What happened?”

  “I told him I was pregnant, and he said it didn’t change the fact that he didn’t want me with him. He was sorry that I’d made the decision to try to trap him, but he was leaving. I could have the kid or not. That was on me. Then he left and I never saw him again.”

  Garrick swore under his breath. “That was pretty coldhearted.”

  “I don’t know. Part of me agrees with you and part of me says I got what I deserved. I knew I was doing the wrong thing when I did it, and that didn’t stop me. I can make excuses, but the truth is I made an awful decision. You can’t force someone to be with you. The situation was never going to end well.”

  It had taken her a long time to come to terms with that. To accept that the blame was all hers. Chas had been clear about what he did and didn’t want—she’d been the one who wouldn’t listen.

  “You could have had an abortion,” he told her.

  “Legally, yes, I could have, but I wasn’t going to do that. Once I accepted I was on my own, I came up with a plan and hoped for the best. But having a child by myself was so much harder than I’d imagined. Everything was so expensive. I worked three jobs as long as I could, but once I had Hunter, I couldn’t make enough to afford day care. Just paying for the diapers about killed me.” She shook her head. “They’re expensive. I was out of money and about to be evicted when Chas’s lawyer showed up to tell me Chas had died and left me the proceeds of his life insurance policy.”

  “He hadn’t forgotten you or the baby.”

  “I guess not. I was shocked and ashamed and grateful. I vowed to make the most of what he’d left me. If he was still alive, I would want to apologize for what I did. I can’t regret Hunter, but my actions were unforgivable.”

  “You were just a kid,” he told her. “You made a dumb choice and you dealt with the consequences. Look what you’ve done with your life. I hope you haven’t been beating yourself up about this for the past fourteen years.”

  “Some,” she admitted. “It’s hard to let go, but I’m finally in the place where I think I can move on. Then Hunter does what he did and it makes me question everything.”

  “What you did has nothing to do with his actions.”

  “Are you sure? Maybe I somehow made it all happen.”

  “No,” he said firmly. “How would that be possible? Did you do some kind of mind-meld where you secretly convinced him to join JROTC and not tell you? If so, you have amazing powers and you should use them for good.”

  Wynn smiled. “When you say it like that,” she began.

  “It’s true.”

  She supposed he was right. The two wrongs had nothing in common. “I wish I knew what to do.”

  “You’ll figure it out. You’re the most amazing parent I know. If I had half your skills, I wouldn’t have lost all those years with Joylyn.”

  “That’s not true. You’re not to blame. It was your ex-wife.”

  “And Hunter made his own choices. That’s not on you.”

  A sensible point of view, she thought. Even though she knew Garrick was right, she couldn’t help wondering if somehow she was the one to blame.

  “Thanks for listening to me rant,” she said.

  “Anytime. You ready to go back to your office?”

  She nodded. “I’m going to try not to think about what I’m going to have to do later when he and I talk. I thought parenting would get easier with time, but it doesn’t. Just when I figure something out, it all changes.”

  “You’re going to do great.”

  He rose and pulled her to her feet, then hugged her. The feel of his strong embrace helped as did the knowledge that he was someone she could talk to.

  “I’ll let you know what happens,”
she said.

  “Good. And I’m right next door if you need anything.” He looked into her eyes. “Trust your gut. You’re a great mom.”

  “Thanks.”

  As she walked back to her car, she thought about what he’d said. How her screw-ups had nothing to do with Hunter’s mistakes. While she knew he was right, she couldn’t help thinking that maybe there was just the tiniest bit of karmic payback in what she was going to have to wrestle with. If God wanted to teach her a lesson, He’d picked a doozy of a way.

  * * *

  JOYLYN TOOK THE shoebox-size package from the mail carrier and thanked her. The familiar loopy writing on the mailing label made her smile. She had no idea what Holly was sending her, but knew it would be great. Holly was a good friend.

  Joylyn put the rest of the mail on her dad’s desk, found a pair of scissors in the top drawer and quickly opened her box. Inside was a stuffed blue bunny—the kind you would win at a carnival or arcade game. The note tucked inside explained that Holly and Rex had won the bunny at the pier and wanted her to have it for her baby.

  The ever-present tears appeared, but this time Joylyn didn’t care. Happy tears were never a problem. She put the box in the recycling, then set the blue bunny on her dresser.

  “Look what Auntie Holly got you,” she told her baby as she rested a hand on her belly. “You’re going to love him.”

  She picked up her phone and took a picture, then texted it and several heart emojis to her friend.

  Seconds later her phone rang. Joylyn laughed when she saw Holly’s picture.

  “I would have called, but I didn’t know when you were on break,” she said, stretching out on the bed. “Thank you so much for the cute bunny. I love it.”

  “The second we saw it, Rex and I knew we had to win it for you.”

  There was something in her friend’s voice—a level of excitement that seemed bigger than just an arcade bunny. “Are you all right?”