Happily This Christmas--A Novel

by Susan Mallery

  “I heard the baby shower was so fun,” Pallas said. “I wish we could have been there.”

  “It was great.” Wynn took a sip of her cocktail and decided it was so good, she was going to have at least two. “Joylyn was so appreciative of everything. Thanks again for the loan of the table and chairs.” She looked at Carol. “And thank you for helping me.”

  Carol waved away the words. “It was fun. I never get to do the party stuff. Plus we never get to help you. You’re always helping us.”

  The comment surprised Wynn. “You help me.”

  “We don’t,” Silver told her. “You’re so together all the time. You rarely need anything.” She held up a hand. “I’m not complaining. I love that my friends are all self-sufficient, but it’s nice to be able to give a little something. Like Holly’s wedding.”

  “That’s coming together,” Renee said. “I met with her Saturday morning and she is such a sweetie. I can’t wait for her big day. The wedding is going to be perfect.”

  Bethany asked if everyone had already decorated for Christmas and the conversation shifted, but Wynn didn’t join in. She didn’t think of herself as particularly together, but it was nice that her friends viewed her that way. She tried to be a good person and take care of business. She loved her friends and her son and her life.

  Only it was no longer enough. She wanted more. She wanted love and more babies, and she wanted them with Garrick.

  The truth had been standing in front of her for a while now. Yes, they hadn’t known each other that long, but it wasn’t as if she didn’t know a lot about him. His past, his work, his daughter all spoke to the kind of man he was. He loved deeply—the question was, did he want to love her?

  “You okay?” Natalie asked.

  Wynn smiled. “I’m great.”

  She turned her attention back to her friends and the fun of the day. She would think about Garrick, and what she wanted, later. She would come up with a plan to tell him how she felt and then hope he wanted the same things she did.

  Doing so meant risking her heart, but she knew it was time for her to take a chance. She’d forgiven herself for her past—now she had to be willing to embrace her future and all the possibilities it offered.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  WYNN POINTED TO the counter. “Just dump them there,” she said, setting down a box containing ribbon, gift tags and tape. Garrick did as she requested with a half dozen rolls of wrapping paper. When his arms were free, he grabbed her by her jeans belt loop and pulled her close before lowering his mouth to hers.

  Her body, still humming from her recent orgasm, responded immediately. A reality that made her smile. While she was certainly interested in round two, she knew that Garrick would need at least half an hour to recharge. Men were so delicate.

  “Why are you smiling?” he asked, cupping her butt and squeezing.

  “Because this is nice.”

  “It is.” He kissed her again. “How late is Hunter going to be?”

  “It’s dinner while watching a basketball game,” she said, glancing at the clock. “We have maybe an hour, but I wouldn’t want to push it past that.” She glanced past him to the piles of presents stacked on several chairs around her dining room table.

  “And we really do have to get going on the wrapping.”

  He nodded, kissed her one last time before stepping back. “Chandler’s coming back late Saturday or early Sunday. They’ll head back to Phoenix on Tuesday, so I do need to wrap everything before he gets here.”

  “Have you asked her to stay through Christmas?”

  He looked at her. “No. I don’t want to pressure her with that. She and Chandler are spending a couple of extra days with me and that’s enough.”

  “I know you want more,” she said gently.

  “I do, but it’s not practical. She’s getting close to her due date. She’ll want to be home with her regular doctor.”

  Wynn was less sure about that. From what she’d seen at the baby shower, Joylyn was still figuring out how she felt about her mom and all she’d learned about her past—not to mention the fact that she’d been kicked out of her own home. Joylyn might not have wanted to come to her dad’s place, but everything had changed.

  “She’s been happy here,” she said, walking over to the gifts. “I would suggest letting her know she always has a place with you.”

  “I’ll think about it. So how do you want to do this?”

  “I like to sort through the presents. See how much I have to wrap, then decide which ones get what paper. I bought a couple of rolls of really pretty paper for Joylyn. There’s the cartoon print for the baby and Hunter.”

  “Hunter’s fourteen. Isn’t he too old for cartoon Christmas wrap?”

  She laughed. “Yes, and that’s the point. He rolls his eyes at me and complains, but I think he secretly likes it.”

  They went through the presents, separating them by recipient. Garrick had bought Chandler a tool kit and a leather jacket.

  “Joylyn helped me pick it out,” he said. “Apparently it’s one he’s been eyeing online for a while.”

  He’d gotten Joylyn pearl earrings accented with a small diamond.

  “They’re beautiful, and I’m impressed with your ability to walk into a jewelry store and not freak out,” Wynn said, teasing him. “It’s a skill.”

  “Jewelry stores don’t intimidate me,” he told her. “Although having seen your latest piece, I wouldn’t know what to buy.”

  She grinned as she fingered her puka shell necklace. “Are you saying bad things about my Secret Santa gift?”

  “Not at all. It’s lovely.”

  “I know it’s silly, but I like it.” She shifted a few bags to the “Chandler and Joylyn” pile. “I don’t know Chandler at all, so I went with a family gift.”

  “You didn’t have to get them anything.”

  “I wanted to.” She tapped the bag. “It’s an electronic picture frame. They can hook it up to their Wi-Fi and send new pictures anytime they want.” She pointed to the large boxes next to the chairs. “Those are diapers.”

  “For Christmas?” He sounded disappointed.

  “Trust me, she’ll be grateful. No one got her diapers at the shower, and babies go through dozens every week. The cost adds up. They’re a huge expense. However many I buy, she’s going to need so many more.”

  “I hadn’t thought of that. Maybe once they’re settled I can get them some kind of service.”

  “Aren’t you already giving them a week in a cabin in Lake Tahoe?” she asked. “And going in on a meal delivery service with Alisha?”

  He shifted his weight. “She’s my baby girl.”

  “I get it,” she said softly. “You have a lot of Christmases to make up for.”

  “I know. I keep telling myself that I gave her gifts those years, even if she wouldn’t see me, but it’s not the same. I didn’t see her, so I had to guess what she wanted. I never knew if she liked them or not.”

  “I think she liked them even if she wouldn’t admit it to anyone.”

  They went through the rest of the gifts. The last bag held baby clothes. Wynn pulled out a couple of pairs of footie pajamas and a little T-shirt that said I’m New Here. There was a cute hoodie with matching baby-sized sweatpants.

  She remembered how little she’d had when Hunter had been born and how she’d been terrified they weren’t going to make it. She’d felt alone and lost, and if that lawyer hadn’t shown up with the unexpected inheritance, she didn’t know what would have happened.

  Things were different now, she thought as her heart ached with longing. She was different. Settled, mature and with a support network she could count on. She was still in her midthirties. Biologically there was no reason to think she couldn’t get pregnant and have a baby. Maybe even two.

  “Wynn, are you all right?”


  Emotions filled her, making it hard for her to breathe. The need grew until it was bigger than anything she’d ever felt.

  “Wynn?”

  She looked at Garrick. “I want to have a baby.”

  His eyes widened and he immediately took two steps back, putting one of the chairs between them.

  His reaction was so honest and male that she couldn’t help laughing.

  “Don’t freak. I was making a statement, not asking for a donation.”

  His expression turned from panicked to wary. “It’s an unexpected statement.”

  “Sorry.” She held up one of the footie pajamas. “How can you resist something this sweet?”

  “Buy all the baby clothes you want.”

  “It’s not the clothes.” She smiled at him. “Relax. This isn’t about you. It’s about me and the choices I made. How I cut myself off from a part of who I am because I felt I had to be punished.”

  “Because of what you did with Chas?”

  She nodded. “I was wrong. If he was still around, I would tell him that. I made a mistake, but I learned from it. Things are different now—I’m different.”

  She folded the pajamas. “I like kids. I like being a mom. I always wanted more than just one child. Hunter’s nearly grown. In a few years, he’ll be heading off to college and then what? I’ve lived with regrets for too long. I don’t want to do that anymore. I want kids.”

  She also wanted Garrick in her life, but thought going there now was probably a little too much information for him to take in. She had no idea how he felt about her. Oh, she knew he liked her and wanted to have sex with her, but what about beyond that? What about the next step?

  That was where everything got fuzzy. They hadn’t been together long enough to have that kind of conversation. Should they reach that point, she wanted him to know her plans for the future. She wanted more children, and if he didn’t, well, she wasn’t sure how that would work out.

  “Like how many?” he asked, still looked shell-shocked.

  “Two.”

  He relaxed. “That’s manageable.”

  “I’m a realist.” She walked around the chair, placed her hands on his chest and stared into his eyes. “I’m not asking you for anything, Garrick. Please believe me. I wasn’t hinting.” She might have been wishing, but he didn’t have to know that. “I like what we have.”

  She felt him relax.

  “I like it, too.”

  “Good.” She raised herself on tiptoe and kissed him. “Now let’s wrap some presents.”

  * * *

  THURSDAY AFTER WORK Garrick drove up the mountain to watch football with his friends. As he navigated the route, he tried to settle his mind, but there was too much going on. Holly’s wedding was Saturday, Chandler was due back right after that, then Joylyn would be heading back to Phoenix to await the birth of her baby.

  Garrick still wasn’t sure what he was going to do. He had some time off around the holidays. He supposed he would get a hotel room in Phoenix and spend Christmas there so he could be with Joylyn. It was the plan that made the most sense—only he didn’t want to be that far away from Wynn and Hunter.

  Adding to the confusion was the fact that he couldn’t forget what she’d told him last night when they’d been wrapping presents.

  She wanted to have more kids.

  The statement had thrown him. He believed her when she said she wasn’t hinting at anything. Wynn was straightforward and open. She didn’t play games. Still, the statement had been unexpected, and he’d been unable to let it go.

  Did she want kids with him? He believed she hadn’t been hinting, but still, they were a thing and he liked what they had together. And if so, how did he feel about that?

  While he wasn’t opposed to marriage, he’d always assumed he wouldn’t do it again. His relationship with Sandy had been a disaster, for the two of them and for him and Joylyn. He didn’t want to take any more risks like that. But kids were different. He liked kids. But how to have one without the other?

  He parked in front of Jasper’s house and walked to the front door. Seconds after he knocked he heard Koda barking. Jasper let him in.

  Garrick handed him the six-pack of beer he’d brought, then dropped to a knee to greet the old dog who circled him, tail wagging.

  “Hey, you,” he said, rubbing Koda’s ears. “How you doing, big guy?”

  Koda woofed his answer, before swiping Garrick’s face with a quick lick. Garrick stood and greeted his friend.

  “You don’t have to rub my ears,” Jasper said dryly, leading the way to the family room where a large Christmas tree, decorated in red and silver ornaments, dominated the space.

  “Good, because I was going to say you don’t have to lick my face.”

  Cade sat on the sofa. He looked at them both. “Do I want to know what you’re talking about?”

  Garrick laughed. “Nope.”

  Cade grinned. “Now I’m worried.”

  Garrick took one of the beers and opened it, then settled on the far end of the huge sectional. The game was on, but the sound was muted.

  “Where’s Renee?” he asked.

  “Prepping for the wedding tomorrow,” Jasper said, stirring the contents of the Crock-Pot. “I guess it’s a big one. Then Saturday is Holly’s wedding, which should be easier.”

  “She still taking off the rest of the year?” Garrick asked as Jasper joined them on the sofa.

  “She is.” Jasper reached down and patted Koda.

  “So where are you two going?” Cade asked. “You said somewhere tropical. Hawaii’s nice. So’s the Caribbean.”

  “We’re staying here.” Jasper raised a shoulder. “Renee just wants us to hang out here and do nothing. To be honest, I don’t care what we do, as long as we have a couple of weeks together.”

  A sentiment Garrick understood. He would like that with Wynn. Just the two of them somewhere quiet. The location wasn’t important. It was more about the time and the company. Not that he minded having Hunter around. He was a great kid. But a little one-on-one with Wynn would be great. Just them and zero complications.

  Only she wanted more children. Did it change anything? While they were involved, neither of them had ever mentioned having a future. Still, he wasn’t the kind of guy who went from woman to woman. He liked being with Wynn. As for his worries about getting married again, he knew she wasn’t like his ex at all. So what did that mean?

  “Earth to Garrick,” Cade said, waving his beer. “You still with us?”

  Garrick nodded. “Just got a couple of things on my mind.”

  Jasper looked at him. “Want to talk about it?”

  Cade raised his eyebrows. “When did you turn into someone with a soft, gooey center?”

  “I’m a writer, my friend. I’m allowed to be intuitive and sensitive.”

  “You say that like it’s a good thing,” Cade muttered.

  “You act tough, but the truth is you’re just as much of a wuss as the rest of us,” Garrick said. “We can’t help it. We’ve evolved.”

  “And the world is better for it,” Jasper said, his gaze still on Garrick. “Is that you avoiding what’s on your mind or do you really not want to talk about it?”

  “Aren’t those the same things?” Garrick asked, his tone light as he considered the question. He drew in a breath. “Wynn wants more kids.”

  Jasper surprised him by smiling. “Good for her. I’m glad she got there.”

  Got there? Why would Jasper put it that way? But as soon as he asked the question, he realized he knew the answer. Wynn and Jasper had dated for a couple of years. They’d broken up about the time Garrick had moved back to Happily Inc, so he’d never seen them together, but they’d been a thing.

  He found himself wanting to stand up and challenge his friend. The need was accompanied by a
jolt of jealousy and he ignored both. Whatever had happened was long done. Jasper was married to Renee, and Wynn was obviously not longing for the other man. But the surge of emotion was unexpected.

  “Kids are great,” Cade said. “But your daughter is grown. Are you done with that part of your life?” He held up a hand. “Or are we assuming too much about your relationship with Wynn?”

  Jasper nodded, but didn’t speak, leaving Garrick to figure out what he wanted to say.

  “I don’t know,” he admitted. “About kids. I never thought about it. Joylyn’s all grown up.”

  But he’d enjoyed all the stages of her life, and he’d been devastated when she’d refused to see him for all those years. A do-over would be great. Only there was no way to go back in time and get back those years. Which only left him with the future.

  Not that he would have a kid to make up for what had happened with Joylyn. The reason had to be about himself and what he wanted, along with what he could give to a child. But was he looking for that?

  “Wynn’s a great mom,” he said, more to himself than them. He could see her with a couple more kids. Maybe girls. He knew most guys would want a son, but he was happy with the idea of girls. He’d enjoyed watching Joylyn move through the various stages of growing up. From the little girl who hung on to her stuffed pig to the fearless ten-year-old who’d raced around on her bike.

  Did he want to do that again? Did he want to start over with Wynn? Did he want to be a part of her life and have her be a part of his? He knew he didn’t want to let her go. He liked what they had together. Liked her. But that was a long way from “Hey, we should talk about having kids together.”

  “Let’s change the subject,” Jasper said easily. “Cade, what are you getting Bethany for Christmas?”

  “A custom saddle,” Cade said with a grin. “She’s going to love it. There’s this old guy who lives in El Bahar. He’s done work for the royal family for years, and Bethany always admires his work when we are back there. I talked to him the last time we visited and arranged for the saddle. At first he didn’t want to make a saddle for a woman, but when I told him who I was giving it to, he changed his mind.” His expression turned smug. “She’s known as an excellent horsewoman.”