“Have they named him yet? We can’t keep calling him ‘the baby.’”
“Elijah.”
“Oh, I like that,” she said.
“Me, too.” He gave her the room number. “She’s sleeping, but I know she’ll want to see you.”
Alisha started for the elevator, then turned back to face him. “Did you stay with her while she was in labor?”
“I was with her until the baby came.” He thought about hanging on to his daughter’s hands and telling her she could do it. “I’d taken the classes with her, so I had a fair understanding of what was going on.” He chuckled. “The trick is not to look.”
Alisha laughed. “No, Garrick. The trick is passing something the size of a bowling ball.”
She stepped onto the elevator and waved.
He went outside and was surprised to see the sun was up. A quick glance at his watch told him it was just after nine. They’d left the wedding around five thirty last night, so they’d been in the hospital just over fifteen hours. He had a strange sense of being out of space and time.
The drive home was quick. As soon as he pulled into his driveway, Wynn burst out of her house and raced toward him.
“How is she? How are you? The pictures were beautiful. I can’t believe he’s here. How was it? Were you scared? Oh, Garrick, what a wonderful experience to share with your daughter.”
She threw herself against him. He caught her and held her tight, needing to know she was close to him.
“I missed you,” he said, surprising himself with the words. “I missed you a lot.”
She wrapped her arms around him. “I was thinking about you all night. How did you do?”
“I hung in there. Joylyn did the work.”
They walked into the house. Wynn started coffee while he leaned against the counter and tried to process his emotions.
“I thought she would be a wreck,” he said. “She’s been so upset all the time, but she wasn’t. She was calm and just seemed to know what to do. It was incredible. I was right there when he was born.”
He thought about the stillness in the moments after the baby had entered the world and the collective sigh of relief when he’d started to cry.
“He’s healthy?” Wynn asked, turning to face him.
“Ten fingers and toes, along with everything else. He’s already started breastfeeding. Chandler got there about twenty minutes after he was born. Joylyn was so happy to see him.”
“Her family is complete,” Wynn said with a smile. “What an amazing couple of days.”
“How was the rest of the wedding?”
“Lovely. The dinner was fantastic. Holly and Rex had the best time, and everyone appreciated the updates. The crowd cleared out about midnight. I got a little sleep, but I was mostly waiting to hear that he’d been born.”
“Thanks for that.”
“I didn’t do it for you. I care about Joylyn. She’s going to be a great mother.”
He knew Wynn meant what she said—that Joylyn was important to her. Because she was someone who cared about other people.
The coffee finished brewing. Wynn poured them each a cup, then urged him to sit at the table.
“Are you hungry? Or do you want to just get some sleep? I know you were up all night.”
“I’m not hungry,” he said, although he thought he would be later. Right now he wanted to understand everything that had happened. There was a feeling inside him—one he couldn’t name—but it was big and getting bigger.
“She wants to stay here for Christmas,” he told Wynn. “Chandler told me. The three of them are going to be with me through Christmas Day.”
Wynn reached across the table and squeezed his hand. “I know you’ll like that.”
“I will. Can we do something together? Have a big dinner or something? Or am I asking too much?” He frowned. “Do you already have plans?”
She smiled. “I’d like us to spend Christmas together. I was going to make a turkey anyway and share the meal with a few friends. It’s Christmas—the more people at the table, the happier I am. Especially if you’ll be there.”
He stared at Wynn. She was so beautiful, he thought. But more than that. She was strong and kind and sexy and giving. She was a good mom. A great one. He thought about what she’d said about wanting more kids. He thought about how Joylyn had stared at him, telling him she needed him to be there while she had her son. He thought about the responsibility and joy and how being his daughter’s father was the best gig ever.
“We should have kids together,” he said abruptly.
Wynn stared at him, her eyes wide. “What did you say?”
“We should have kids together. You and me. I want to give that to you, Wynn. It’s what you said you wanted, and I can make it happen. You’re a great mom—look at what you’ve done with Hunter. I’m a decent father, but I can do better. You want more children. You told me, Wynn. I’d like that, too. With you.” He reached for her hands and squeezed them. “Let’s do it. Let’s have a couple of kids together.”
She pulled back. “I don’t know what you’re saying.”
“I don’t know exactly, either. But we can make it work.” He motioned to his house. “We already live next door to each other—that’s convenient. We can have a couple of babies and raise them together. Fifty-fifty. You know, co-parent or something. I know you want this, and now I want it, too.”
Her expression was unreadable. He had no idea what she was thinking, but she didn’t look happy.
“You want to have children with me,” she said slowly. “So we would share parenting responsibility, but we won’t be involved. We wouldn’t be in love or get married or anything. Is that right?”
When she said it like that... “You’re making it sound bad,” he complained. “Don’t be like that. You said you wanted more children. I’m suggesting a way to make that happen. We’re a terrific team. We trust each other—that’s a big thing. We both want a bigger family and now we can have that.”
“Co-parenting?”
“Yes.”
“Because we live next door?”
“Not just because of that. You’re taking it wrong. I thought you’d be happy. That this solved all the problems. We’re good together and...”
There were more reasons, but suddenly he couldn’t think of any—not with her looking at him like he’d just kicked a kitten. Why was she making him the bad guy?
“No,” she said, coming to her feet. “Just no. I could never do that with anyone. It’s not what I want, and I can’t believe you suggested it. How could you?”
With that, she turned and ran out of the kitchen, leaving him alone with a feeling that he’d just screwed up in more ways than he could understand.
Chapter Twenty
AFTER GARRICK LEFT, Wynn stood in her living room, not sure what to do or how to feel. Hurt and disappointment tightened her chest until it was difficult to breathe.
She pressed a hand to her stomach and told herself she was fine. Yes, Garrick had said something ridiculous, but so what? It didn’t mean anything. Only she knew it had meant something to her—something awful and sad.
The pain increased until it became too big to hold inside. She knew she was seconds away from breaking down into ugly, loud sobs that would terrify her son. Doing her best to keep it all inside, she grabbed her handbag and moved into the hallway.
“Hunter, I’m going to run a few errands,” she said, grateful her voice wasn’t shaking.
“Okay, Mom,” he called back. “I’m going to finish my history paper, then watch that documentary on NASCAR.”
“I won’t be long,” she said, before hurrying to her car.
She carefully backed out of the driveway, then headed for town. The pressure built inside until she knew she didn’t have much more time. Should she go find some quiet place to
park where she could cry in peace?
Three blocks later, she pulled over and reached for her phone. She scrolled through her list of contacts, pausing at each of her friends before pressing the call button.
“Hi,” Silver said, sounding cheerful. “Do you have a baby update?”
Wynn felt herself starting to lose control. “Can I come see you?”
Silver’s voice was instantly concerned. “Of course. I’m home.”
“Give me five minutes.”
Wynn managed to make her way to the upscale neighborhood by the golf course. She pulled into Silver and Drew’s wide driveway, then stumbled out of her car. Silver met her at the door.
At the sight of her friend, she gave in to the sobs and let them overtake her. Silver pulled her close and held her tight.
“I’m here,” her friend said. “Whatever it is, we’ll get through this. I have some contacts. We can arrange for a big burly guy to beat the shit out of Garrick if necessary.”
Wynn wiped her face. “How did you know this was about Garrick?”
“It’s Sunday morning, so it’s unlikely you heard bad medical news, and if it was Hunter, you would have said that up front. A town-based disaster, like your business burning down, would have meant calls from more than just you. That leaves a man.”
Silver led her into the living room where they settled on one of the overstuffed sofas. Drew was nowhere to be seen—a fact for which Wynn was grateful. She liked Silver’s husband just fine, but didn’t really want him around when she was so vulnerable.
Silver disappeared for a few seconds, then returned with a box of tissues.
“Do you want something to drink? Coffee? Water? Tequila?”
“I’m okay,” Wynn said, struggling to get control. “I don’t like being this way. I’m not a crier.”
“It’s an involuntary physical response. We all do it.”
“You’re saying I’m ordinary?” Wynn asked with an attempt at fake humor.
“Practically mundane.” Silver rubbed her back. “Tell me what happened.”
Wynn blew her nose, then quickly recounted the conversation from a week or so ago, when she’d confessed that she wanted more children.
“I didn’t mean to say it,” she added when she was done. “I wasn’t hinting at anything.”
“You were hinting,” Silver said gently. “Or at least testing the waters.”
Wynn started to protest, then stopped herself. “Maybe,” she admitted. “I do want more kids, though.”
“Sure, but not on your own. You want them with Garrick.”
“Is it that obvious?”
“No, but I know you.”
Wynn sighed heavily. “I guess I was hoping he would be excited, too. That he would start thinking about us being together and what that would be like. I was hoping he would see that we’re really good as a couple and that we could have so much more. A blended family, more children.”
“Love?”
Wynn twisted the tissue and nodded. “Love,” she whispered. She turned to Silver.
“But that’s not where he went at all. When he got home from the hospital, he started talking about us having a couple of kids and co-parenting together. That I wanted more kids and he could make it happen. How it was superconvenient because we lived next door.” The tears returned. “He’s not in love with me. He doesn’t want to have a family together—he wants me to be some kind of baby mama with a co-parenting agreement and maybe some sex on the side.”
“Baby mama?” Silver asked, her voice teasing.
“You know what I mean.”
“I do, and I’m sorry.”
Wynn looked at her. “I’m in love with him, and he’s not in love with me.”
“You don’t know that.”
Wynn thought about what had happened...and what hadn’t. “I do know that. He’s not in love with me. I’ve already learned this lesson. You can’t force a man to care about you, and you can’t trap him into loving you. After everything I’ve been through, I’m back where I was fifteen years ago. Loving someone who doesn’t love me back.”
* * *
THREE DAYS AFTER the fact, Garrick realized that maybe giving Wynn time had been a bad decision. He hadn’t seen her at all, and the only response to his text suggesting they talk had been a quick This isn’t a good time for me.
He knew he’d screwed up big time, but he didn’t know exactly what he’d done. Was it wrong to want to have kids with her? Shouldn’t she see that he was trying to give her exactly what she wanted? He thought she was amazing and wanted to raise children with her. How was that bad?
He decided enough was enough and went next door to talk to her. Whatever was going on needed to be fixed. He missed her and wanted them to go back to where they had been.
But when he knocked, Hunter answered the door. A Hunter who seemed older and bigger and didn’t look happy to see Garrick.
“Is your Mom around?” Garrick asked, offering an easy smile.
“She doesn’t want to see you,” Hunter said flatly. “So you can’t come in.”
The slightly threatening tone was nearly as surprising as the message itself. Wynn didn’t want to see him?
“She’s still upset?” he asked.
Hunter rolled his eyes. “Yes, she’s still upset. I don’t know what you did, but it’s bad. My mom cried. She never cries. Even when I totally screw up, she doesn’t cry. When she found out about what I did with faking her signature on the JROTC application, she didn’t cry. So whatever you did, you’d better fix it and fast.”
With that, he closed the door in Garrick’s face.
Garrick stood on the porch for at least a minute, trying to figure out what had just happened. He’d known Wynn was upset, but he hadn’t realized how serious the situation was. Hunter was right—he had to fix it and fast. But first he had to figure out what he’d done wrong.
Women, he thought grimly, as he made his way back to his house. What had God been thinking?
He sat on the top step of his front porch and replayed his last conversation with Wynn. He’d said only nice things about her, he’d offered to have children with her—children that she wanted. So why wasn’t she speaking to him? No, why was she crying?
The front door opened and Joylyn came out. “Hey, Dad. Elijah’s finally sleeping, so it’s safe to come inside.”
He glanced at her. “That’s okay. I’m going to sit here and think.”
Joylyn sat next to him, wincing slightly as her butt hit the wooden porch. “Fresh air. This is nice. I’m not sure I’ve been outside since we left the hospital. Maybe tonight we’ll sit out back by the pool.”
“Sure. Good idea. We can barbecue something for dinner, if you’d like.”
“Water buffalo?”
He stared at her. “What?”
She smiled. “Just making sure you’re listening.” The smile faded. “Dad, what’s going on? You’ve been acting weird for a couple of days now, and I haven’t seen Wynn even once. Did you two have a fight?”
Interesting question, he thought. “I don’t know.”
She rolled her eyes. “That is such a guy answer. What did you do?”
“Maybe I didn’t do anything. Maybe I was just being a great guy and she completely overreacted.”
Joylyn stared at him without speaking.
“Fine,” he said between gritted teeth. “A week or so ago Wynn mentioned that she regretted not having more children. There were reasons, but now with Hunter growing up, she wishes she had a bigger family.”
“And?”
“And after you had Elijah, I came home and told Wynn I wanted to have children with her. I said she was a great mom and I would like the chance to be a father again and we should have a family.”
Joylyn drew her brows together. “So you proposed?”
His daughter stared at him. “You offered to co-parent with her?”
“It’s what she wanted.”
Joylyn waved to the house next door. “Based on the fact that you’re sitting here and she’s in her house, it wasn’t what she wanted. Really, Dad? Co-parenting? Not, ‘I love you more than life itself, let’s get married?’”
He’d been able to ignore the proposal comment, but this one required a response. “Why would you say that?”
“Because you’re hanging out together all the time and you’re sleeping together and—”
“How do you know we’re sleeping together? We’ve been discreet.”
“Oh, please. You whistle after you two have had sex. If you were anyone but my father, it would be cute, but it’s not.” She angled toward him. “Dad, do you really not get what you did? You’re in a committed relationship with a great woman, and instead of telling her you love her and proposing, you suggest some ridiculous co-parenting arrangement. She wouldn’t want that. She doesn’t need you to have more kids. She’s more than capable of doing that on her own. She has a steady income and lots of friends for support. What she doesn’t have is a partner to love her and have her back. That’s what she wanted.”
Before he could absorb what she’d said, let alone figure out a response, he heard Elijah crying.
“I need to go check on him,” Joylyn said, standing. “Dad, you have fix this. Either tell her you were a fool and of course you love her and want to marry her, or end things. You don’t get to have middle ground on this one.”
With that, she turned and walked back into the house.
Garrick stared after her, then faced front and waited for his world to stop spinning.
Love Wynn? This wasn’t about love, it was about having kids together because that was what Wynn—
He blinked, then swore under his breath. No. No! He’d completely and totally blown it. Joylyn was right—Wynn didn’t need him to co-parent. She could easily have more kids on her own. She wanted to be a part of something. She was amazing and incredible and a woman like her would demand it all.
Happily This Christmas--A Novel Page 27
