He’d been so sure he was giving her exactly what she wanted, and instead he’d been an idiot and possibly hurt her in the process.
Joylyn was right—he had to do right by Wynn, and that meant committing to her in a meaningful way or walking away. There wasn’t going to be any middle ground.
* * *
JASPER’S OFFICE WAS separate from the house up on the mountain. It was a big, open space with lots of windows and room to pace. There was also a sofa against one wall.
Wynn sat there, her feet tucked under her, an untouched mug of coffee on the table in front of her. Jasper was in his desk chair, waiting patiently for her to explain why she’d shown up with no warning and asked him if they could talk.
He was a good-looking man, she thought absently, taking in the dark hair and green eyes. He’d been a magnificent lover. She’d spent hours in his bed and had enjoyed herself, yet there wasn’t a single part of her that regretted the fact that they’d ended things.
“We were never right for each other,” she said.
One eyebrow rose. “We were right in the moment,” he corrected, “but it was never going to be anything more than that.”
“I wasn’t willing to trust you.”
He smiled. “You weren’t willing to trust yourself.”
“Yikes, that’s too insightful. It makes me uncomfortable.”
Instead of replying, he waited. This was her party, she reminded herself.
“When I was nineteen, I fell in love with a guy named Chas,” she began. “He was a professional surfer, and he made it clear ours was just an off-season fling. When it was time to go back on tour, he would be gone and there was nothing I could say or do to change his mind.”
He watched her without speaking.
She sighed. “I got pregnant on purpose to trap him into a relationship. He took off anyway, leaving me alone and pregnant.” She held up a hand. “I don’t blame him. It was all on me. But it was hard, and there were times I wasn’t sure I was going to make it.”
Emotions flickered through Jasper’s eyes. Emotions that she couldn’t read, or maybe she didn’t want to.
“Has Hunter ever met him?”
She shook her head. “Chas died. I didn’t know until his lawyer showed up to tell me about a life insurance policy. I was the beneficiary.” She waved her hand. “It’s how I bought the business and you know the rest.”
His expression sharpened. “So that’s the guilty secret? You wouldn’t let me in because you were punishing yourself? You couldn’t have a real relationship because you’d tried to trap Chas? Self-punishment when there was no actual punishment to help you atone?”
She groaned. “I really hate that you’re a writer.”
“It can be inconvenient for other people. While I appreciate you telling me what happened, it doesn’t explain why you’re here now. Oh, wait.” He nodded. “This is about Garrick.”
She covered her face with her hands. “I hate my life.”
“No, you don’t.”
She wished Renee would return from wherever she’d gone and interrupt them. She wished she’d been able to figure this out on her own so she wouldn’t have to talk about it with Jasper of all people. Yet her gut told her he would have answers she couldn’t find anywhere else.
“He knows about Chas,” she said. “He seems okay with the information.”
“Most people will be.” His voice was gentle. “Wynn, you were a kid. You made a dumb mistake and you regret doing it. You’ve learned from it, which is even more important. You need to forgive yourself and move on.”
“I have. I’ve been working on it for a while, and I’ve put it behind me. But while working through all that, I realized that in punishing myself, I’ve kept myself away from something I really want.” She looked at him. “A family. I want more kids.”
He smiled. “You’re a great mom.”
“Thanks. The information has been slow in coming, but seeing all my friends have babies and getting to know Joylyn has made me wish I could have a couple more babies. Which I mentioned to Garrick, too.”
“What did he say?”
“Not much. I assured him I was sharing information, not hinting.”
“So you lied.”
“What? No! Why would you say that?”
His gaze was steady.
She flushed. “Fine. Maybe I was trying to find out how he felt about me and us and a future.”
He held up a hand. “I get it. No one likes to put themselves out there. It’s scary to expose your heart without knowing if it’s going to be trampled on. Which apparently is what he did. What happened?”
She leaned back against the sofa. “He offered to have children with me. Not as a couple, but as co-parents. He mentioned how convenient it would be because we lived next door to each other.”
“Ouch.”
“Yeah.”
“Did you tell him you’re in love with him?”
“No. I can’t tell him that. I won’t try to trap another man. I’ve learned my lesson on that one.”
“Wynn, loving someone isn’t a trap.”
“That’s not what Chas thought.”
“There’s a big difference between getting pregnant on purpose and telling someone you love them.” He leaned toward her. “Love heals. Love makes us better than we ever thought we could be. Loving someone, the act of loving, is a generous gift. True love is our greatest calling. Not just romantic love, but all love.”
She blinked at him. “Wow. Renee’s a lucky woman.”
“I’m the lucky one. Tell Garrick how you feel. It’s not trapping him, Wynn. He deserves to know what’s on the line. And you need to be able to share your feelings.”
She nodded and rose. He stood and pulled her close, then hugged her. She hung on for a second, wondering what twist of fate made one person right and another person not the one.
“You give good advice,” she said when she stepped back. “Thank you for that.”
“Anytime.”
* * *
CHRISTMAS EVE DAY was slow at the Happily Inc police station. Even those in town for holiday weddings seemed to be on their best behavior. Garrick had planned to use the time to catch up on his paperwork, but ever since he’d talked to his daughter about what had happened with Wynn he’d been unable to put their conversation out of his mind.
Joylyn had assumed he was in love with Wynn and he’d assumed he wasn’t. Only one sleepless night and an unproductive morning later, he knew that his daughter had been right and he’d been a fool who might have lost the woman of his dreams.
Wynn was great. He’d thought that from the second he’d gone to ask for help and she’d jumped right in to make sure his house was warm and welcoming for his daughter. He admired her enough to offer to have kids with her—a reality that made him cringe every time he thought about it. Because if he really was in love with Wynn, then he’d pretty much done everything possible to mess up what could have been an incredible moment.
Co-parent? Had he really suggested that? What kind of moron offered to have children with a woman before talking about how he felt? He wasn’t interested in a business arrangement. He wanted a forever thing. Love, marriage, a family. But instead he’d hurt her, and now he had absolutely no idea how she was feeling or if he’d screwed up everything between them forever.
Shortly after eleven, he couldn’t stand it anymore. He told his assistant he was going to be gone for about an hour and drove the short distance to Wynn’s store, taking a chance that like most of the businesses in town, she would be open until at least one in the afternoon.
Sure enough, the lights were on and a couple of customers stood at the counter. Garrick walked in and looked around but didn’t see Wynn. One of her employees glanced up and smiled.
“She’s in her office, Garrick.”
�
��Thanks.”
He made his way down the hall and then stepped in through the open door.
Wynn was on her computer, staring intently at the screen.
She was so beautiful, he thought, coming to a stop. She had on a red sweater with little reindeer across the front. Her long curly hair was pulled back, and there was a slight frown line between her eyebrows.
Warmth swept through him. Not just the sexual kind, which was nice enough, but the loving kind. This woman was exactly who he’d been looking for. He could only hope he hadn’t figured that out too late.
“You have a second?” he asked.
She jumped and turned to him. “Garrick, hi. I wasn’t expecting you.”
“I know. I just need a minute of your time.” Maybe two minutes. He wasn’t sure how long it was going to take him to tell her how sorry he was to have been so stupid and how much he loved her.
“It’s okay.” She stood and smoothed her hands down her jeans. “I wanted to talk to you, as well. I was waiting until this afternoon when I thought you’d be home.”
That was good, right? Her wanting to talk to him? Unless she was planning on telling him he was too stupid for the likes of her and to get lost.
He swallowed. “Do you want to go first? I can, if that’s better.”
She smiled. “I’ll go first.” The smile faded. “Garrick, I’m sorry about how I acted before, when you mentioned co-parenting children together.”
He winced. “Not my best move. I’m sorry about that.”
“It’s okay. I said I wanted more kids in my life, and you came up with a way to make that happen. I was just surprised because, well, I guess I was surprised and hurt, which I didn’t want you to see.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“I know. It’s on me, not on you.” She squared her shoulders and looked at him. “I was hurt because I don’t just want children with you, Garrick. I want a real relationship. I’m in love with you, and I want everything that goes with that.”
She was in love with him?
He circled the desk and pulled her against him, then pressed his mouth to hers. Her arms came around him, and she kissed him back.
“I had more to say,” she mumbled against his lips.
He drew back an inch. “Like what?”
“I had a whole speech about how I’m not trying to push you or make you uncomfortable, but that I wanted you to know how I felt.”
He kissed her again, then leaned his forehead against hers. “I’m sorry I was an idiot. It was a dumbass thing to say. I love you, Wynn. Of course I want kids with you, but I also want to marry you and have us be a real family. All of us. You, me, Hunter, Joylyn, Chandler, the baby, our kids and maybe a few pets.” He paused to stare into her eyes. “If any of that interests you.”
She smiled at him. “We would need a much bigger house.”
“I have some savings.”
“Me, too. Plus if we sell both our houses and pool the money, we’d have enough.”
He tightened his hold on her as the love washed through him. “That sounds a lot like a yes.”
“It does, doesn’t it?” She kissed him. “Garrick, I love you.”
“So you’ll marry me?”
“I will.”
“Woo-hoo!”
He picked her up and spun her around, as best he could in the small office, before putting her down.
“Do you want to wait?” he asked. “We can. It’s up to you, if you think a long engagement is a good idea. Or we could get married sooner.”
She smiled. “Sooner works.”
“Great.” He released her. “So I need to go get you a ring and you need to tell Hunter not to be mad at me anymore and I want to let Joylyn know she’s right.”
He stopped. “Wait a sec. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to talk to Hunter first. Explain what I did and then ask his permission to marry you.”
Wynn blinked several times, as if holding back tears. “That would be great.”
Garrick pulled her close again. “I’m going to spend the rest of my life having your back, Wynn. You have my word on that.”
“I’ll have yours, too,” she whispered. “Always.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
WYNN WOKE UP early Christmas morning. There was no reason not to sleep in, but at quarter to six, her eyes popped open and refused to close again. After a few minutes, she gave up trying to fake sleep and got up. She shrugged into her robe, then made her way to her kitchen where she started coffee. While that brewed, she pulled out the breakfast casserole she’d made the night before. She would let it warm up a bit before popping it into the oven.
The shelves of the refrigerator were overflowing. Her turkey was next door at Garrick’s, but all the ingredients for the side dishes were in hers. The chocolate cream pies that were a holiday tradition at her house had the place of honor on the top shelf.
She poured herself a cup of coffee, then walked into the dining room. All the extensions were in the table, and the special holiday linens were waiting to be put in place. The house would be full today, she thought happily. Full of family and friends and soon-to-be family. Jasper and Renee would join them for dinner, along with Joylyn, Chandler and their baby. Hunter, of course, and Garrick.
Just thinking about him made her glance down at the sparkling diamond on her left hand. She and Garrick were engaged—a happy truth that still made her giddy. The knowledge that he loved her as much as she loved him warmed her. They were blessed, she thought.
This weekend, Wynn, Hunter and Garrick were going to spend more time looking at houses online. Monday she and Garrick had an appointment with a mortgage broker to discuss financing for the house they wanted to buy. Tuesday they were going out with a real estate agent to look at the houses that fit them best. Hunter already had a wish list that included a bonus room big enough to be converted into a media room, and a pool. She wanted a big kitchen with plenty of storage, and Garrick wanted a garage with a workshop area.
She went into the living room and turned on the tree lights before sitting on the sofa. Happiness bubbled through her. She’d come a long way from that scared single mom she’d been fourteen years ago. Finding where she belonged had taken a lot of work and some patience, but it had been worth it in the end.
“Hey, Mom,” Hunter said, stretching as he walked into the living room.
“Merry Christmas,” she said, standing and hugging him.
He hugged her back, all long, skinny arms and bony ribs. He was still growing and already taller than her. When had that happened?
“Merry Christmas,” he said as he slumped down on the sofa. “You’re up early.”
“So are you.”
He grinned. “I couldn’t sleep.” He pointed to the pile of presents under the tree. “Santa came.”
“Yes, he did.”
Her son stretched again. “You know, Mom, it’s okay for Garrick to spend the night. I’m not a kid or anything.”
“Thank you for that, but we’re going to wait to live together. The wedding is only a few weeks away.”
They were getting married at the end of January, hopefully right around the time they closed on their new house. They would get settled and then take a delayed honeymoon in February or March. Hunter would stay with Jasper and Renee while Wynn and Garrick were gone.
Until then, she and Garrick would steal their moments together. Once Joylyn and Chandler returned to San Diego, Garrick would have his house back and they could have a little privacy.
Not that she minded having the young family with them. She and Joylyn had become friends, and Chandler was good company. Elijah was an added bonus, giving Wynn a little baby practice. She and Garrick had agreed they would start trying to get pregnant over the summer. They wanted a few months to settle into married life before the excitement and yes, stres
s, of a baby.
“Garrick and I have been talking about what kind of car I’m going to get when I turn sixteen,” Hunter said.
“Have you.”
Her son grinned. “Uh-huh. We talked about buying an old junker and restoring it, but decided that wouldn’t be the best choice. We’ll get something safe for me and then get an old junker to restore for fun.”
She sipped her coffee. “This all assumes I’m ready to think about you learning to drive. You’re still only fourteen.”
“And a half. I can get my learner’s permit in a year.” Hunter gave her a winning smile. “You said I could work for you this summer. I’m going to save all the money and put it toward a car.”
He was a kid with a plan, she thought, both pleased by his maturity and horrified that he was that old. What he didn’t know was that she and Garrick had already talked about enrolling him in a driver’s education class over the summer, so he could get the twenty-five-hour requirement out of the way before he joined JROTC in the fall.
As for buying a car, Garrick had some ideas about a safe vehicle for a sixteen-year-old. And when she’d started to hyperventilate about her little boy being all grown up, he’d reminded her that they still had plenty of time.
But she knew how quickly that time would pass. With luck, a year from today, she would be several months pregnant. Even if she wasn’t, she would still have Garrick, and that was more than she’d ever hoped for.
There was a knock at the front door, then the sound of a key in the lock. Garrick let himself in. He smiled when he saw them on the sofa.
“Merry Christmas,” he said as he walked toward them. “Joylyn and Chandler have just put the baby down and are hoping to grab a couple of hours of sleep before breakfast, if that works for you.”
“I said about eight thirty or nine,” Wynn told him, coming to her feet as he pulled her close. “They must be exhausted.”
“They are, but they’re happy, too.”
Mindful of Hunter in the room, Garrick kissed her lightly, then greeted her son.
Happily This Christmas--A Novel Page 28
