Jonah and Cooper

by Kris T. Bethke

  “I already took off your makeup. I know you hate to sleep in it. It’s not good for your skin.”

  Why did that caused butterflies in my stomach? I wasn’t going to examine it. Not now. I didn’t have the brain to sort that out at the moment. So I gave him a smile instead. “Thank you.”

  He grinned again. “Thank you for breakfast. This is awesome.”

  Awesome? What had gotten into him? The Cooper I knew would’ve never used that word in this context. And while I assumed some things had changed in the intervening years, I was pretty sure he hadn’t changed that much. For a moment, I contemplated calling him out on it and making him tell me what was going on. But in the end, I decided I wanted a peaceful breakfast in the happy bubble we’d created. I ignored his weirdness, sat with my own food, and changed the subject.

  “Has it stopped snowing yet?”

  He shook his head, finished chewing, and swallowed. “But it’s pretty light now. I cleared the worst of it, and got my truck out of the snowbank. I’ll probably have to clear it again before we leave, but the tractor does a good job, so it won’t be a big deal.”

  “That’s good.” I took a bite and savored the cinnamon and vanilla. “Have you checked the weather? Any news on when it’s supposed to clear up?”

  “Report said tonight. I checked the county website, too, and they’ve started clearing major and necessary roads. Won’t be long before they veer off the highway and up here.”

  “So we can get out of here maybe as soon as tomorrow?” My stomach did a weird flip. Was it relief? Or regret? Honestly, it was a bit of both.

  “Probably,” Cooper said carefully. He took a sip from his mug, his gaze never wavering from my face. “Is it so bad? Being stuck here with me?”

  “No,” I murmured, giving him the truth. “I just…there’s things, my life, that I need to get back to. You know?”

  “Yeah.”

  That was all he said before he applied himself to his breakfast with gusto. I let him eat, glancing at him every once in a while. Cooper enjoyed every meal as though it was his last, and watching him was a great pleasure.

  The rest of the meal passed in silence, and Cooper got up to take care of the dishes as soon as I’d taken my last bite. He was quick and efficient as always, and when he was done, he turned around and held out a hand. I quirked an eyebrow at him.

  “You know what I’d like? I’d like to start a fire, and sit with you in front of it.” He walked closer, and I tilted my head so I could keep his face in sight. “Just like we used to. Remember our first winter together? When it was so rough, and we used to sit in front of the space heater in your tiny apartment and pretend it was a fireplace?”

  The memory washed over me hard. We’d been together for several months at that point, and any time he could get off base, he was there with me, keeping me warm in the crap hole I’d lived in at the time. He would give me all the pretty words about someday we’d have space and a real fire. I’d believed him so completely.

  I hadn’t thought about that in years. Hadn’t let myself.

  But he was offering it to me now, and whatever happened in the future, I wanted this moment. Just like I’d taken last night.

  “Shall I make hot chocolate?”

  Cooper’s eyes lit up. “The real stuff?”

  I scoffed. “Of course.”

  “I’ll get the fire going.”

  I laughed as he hustled into the living area. By the time I was done and had two steaming mugs, Cooper had settled himself into the corner of the couch and the fire was dancing merrily behind the grate. I handed Cooper his mug, and he took it as he slid apart his thighs, letting me know exactly where he wanted me. I didn’t hesitate.

  As soon as I settled into his embrace, he pulled the afghan off the back of the couch and tossed it over our laps. Within minutes, I felt toasty warm and cozy. Every one of Cooper’s exhales ghosted along my neck, and his even breathing was comforting beyond words.

  I was content. Happy even. And I so badly wanted to trust it.

  It would be so easy to pretend the past three years hadn’t happened. That Cooper hadn’t decided he’d rather break my heart than have me worry about him deployed in a warzone. Trust had been broken, and I couldn’t forget that just because he’d won some of it back.

  “I can hear you thinking from here.”

  “Not thinking,” I lied. “Not a thought in my head.”

  “Liar,” he teased. He circled one arm around my chest and snuggled me closer, then kissed the back of my neck. He went right for the spot that always made me shudder, and when I did, he gave a smug chuckle.

  I sighed and leaned my head onto his shoulder. “I don’t want to think.”

  “Thinking is not a bad thing, Jojo. You’re actually very good at it.”

  “How about I go put on some glam and you fuck me instead?” I made to get up, but Cooper held me fast.

  “I never thought I’d say this, but things can’t be solved with sex.” He groaned. “Though, God, I’d love to do exactly that. But we can save that for later. How about you talk to me now?”

  “About what?” Maybe if I acted dumb, he’d let it go.

  “About whatever it is you’re ‘not thinking’?”

  I turned to give him a scowl. “You could be fucking me instead.”

  “Jonah. Baby. Please.” He sounded so serious. “Don’t make this any harder than it already is. You know I can’t resist you. But I made the mistake of not talking to you three years ago. I’m not doing it again.”

  The earnestness took me off guard. I turned in his embrace so I could really look at him, and almost gasped. I thought I knew Cooper well, but I’d never seen that look on his face. It was more than nerves. It was fear, plain and simple. This man had walked into battle countless times, but sitting here on the couch with me, he was scared of what I might do or say.

  To know I had that kind of power over him settled something in me. For a heartbeat, I knew I could crush him and walk away, pay him back for all the pain he’d inflicted on me. But just as quickly, I knew I never would. He’d laid everything on the line when he’d come here, and he’d tattooed my name on his chest.

  He still loved me.

  And in that moment, I realized that not only did I love him, too, but that I was willing to give him that second chance he wanted so badly.

  The second chance we both deserved.

  Chapter 8

  “What happens next?”

  My voice sounded a little childlike, but I didn’t care. I was about to lay my heart on the line with this man—again—and even though he had made it clear he didn’t want to hurt me, it was still a possibility. I could admit it, at least to myself. I was scared.

  “What do you mean?” Cooper shifted so we were full on facing each other. I wanted to be back in his embrace. It would be easier to have this conversation not looking at him. But it was time to stop hiding. I reached for his hands, and Cooper quickly gave them to me. I threaded our fingers together, and he immediately started rubbing soothingly with his thumbs.

  “I mean…” I had to take a deep breath, then force out the words. “When you go back on duty—if you’re deployed again—I have to know what’s going to happen, Captain.” I gave him a small quirk of a smile.

  Cooper blinked for a long moment. I wasn’t sure what his expression meant. He looked sort of surprised, maybe. Waiting for him to speak was excruciating, but I resolutely remained silent. When he finally did open his mouth, his voice was low and careful.

  “Jonah. Baby, I’m out.”

  My whole body jerked. I must have misunderstood. “What?”

  “You heard me.” He smiled.

  “I don’t think I did.” I couldn’t have. He was a lifer, and barely thirty-nine. He had plenty of years left in him, and I was sure the Army would be happy to have him until he had to retire.

  “You did,” he assured me. Using our joined hands, he tugged me until I was practically sitting in his lap. “I’m out
. I resigned my commission. Twenty years in, and I’m ready for the next phase of my life.”

  “I…um…what?” My brain was not working. Completely offline.

  Cooper chuckled. He let go of one of my hands, and cupped my cheek. He swept his thumb along my jawline, then titled my head until our gazes met. “And in case it isn’t clear, that next phase of my life is you. I have skills. I can find a job. I’m not worried about that. But the important part of the equation is you. Earning back your trust. Loving you. Building a life with you.”

  “Adrian.”

  “Don’t say ‘no.’” Cooper blinked, then shook his head. “I mean, of course, if that’s not what you want…But it is, isn’t it? You and me and the life we should have had. Will have. If you want it. With me.”

  The rambling was kind of cute. My big-bad, tough-as-nails Army captain, bumbling his way through his declaration. Endearing, even. My heart thawed more, the last pieces of ice melting completely.

  I threw myself at him, and he caught me easily, holding me tightly. I sighed and settled in. I’d always felt safe and protected in his arms, and that hadn’t changed. Things had gone sideways for us, no doubt about that. But we’d found our way back to each other. And now, we could move forward and rebuild.

  Pulling back just far enough so I could see Cooper’s face, I gave him a soft smile.

  “I love you. I always have. And even if you hadn’t come back, a part of me always would.” I traced his eyebrow with one finger. I did love his face. “We have work to do, I think. It’d be stupid if we both said everything was going to be perfect. We have stuff to work on. But I love you. And I want a future with you.”

  Relief flooded his features, and he moved lightning fast to cup my face and kiss me hard. He devoured me and I let him, relaxing into it and letting him command and dominate. When he finally pulled back, my lips felt bruised and I could barely breathe. I loved it.

  “You’re mine, baby. Always have been. And I love you with everything I am. We’ll work it all out. We’ll talk and fight and fuck and love, and spend the rest of our lives together. Relationships are constantly evolving, right?”

  “Right,” I agreed with a content sigh. We were on the same page, and that made all the difference.

  “Good. There’s some stuff I have to finalize with the Army, but I’m done. I don’t have to go back.” He looked at me expectantly, hope shining in his deep brown eyes. “I have to find a place to live.”

  I pursed my lips. “Well,” I said slowly. “I do have a spare bedroom.”

  He growled playfully and powered me down on the couch. He covered my body with his, and I sighed happily as I took his weight. Cooper pulled my hands over my head before pinning them to the cushion with his strong grip.

  “Okay, okay!” I chortled and wiggled, then gasped as my hip rubbed against his groin. He was getting hard. “Just because we’re working things out doesn’t mean you can’t sleep in my bed.”

  “Good.” Cooper used his nose to tilt back my chin, then latched onto a tender spot of my neck. I shuddered and groaned, and his satisfied chuckle reverberated through my skin. He kissed and licked for a moment, and when he lifted his head, I whined at the loss.

  “I love you, Jonah.”

  “And I love you.”

  Cooper gathered me to him and held me close. I rubbed the back of his head, holding him just as tightly. We’d get to the sex eventually. This moment, right here, reaffirming our feelings and being close? That was way more important.

  He’d hurt me three years ago, and it would take time to completely recover from that. But the essential thing right now was that we loved each other and we were getting our second chance at happiness.

  I guess Ellie had done the right thing by sending Cooper in her place. It was amazing what being trapped together could do for two people. I’d have to remember to thank her.

  Epilogue

  I couldn’t help pacing as I waited for Cooper to get home. He was late, but that wasn’t unusual. In the past two years, I’d learned to expect it. Working security wasn’t always an eight-hour job, and since Josef’s House was a shelter for at-risk LGBT youth, Cooper was always needed. His boss was wonderfully accommodating, but Cooper took his job seriously. He knew what he did was important.

  Today, though, I wished Cooper had been a little more anxious to get home. I’d been planning this for weeks, and I knew there was a chance Cooper wouldn’t have adhered to my mental time table. I could have told him I’d been planning something, and he would have come home on time, but that would have ruined the surprise.

  Things hadn’t been perfect between us. There’d been a lot of relearning and arguing as we figured out how to coexist again. There’d also been a lot of loving and fucking. And slowly but surely, we’d found our way together, past the hurt and distrust, into a really wonderful place. We were better together than we’d ever been, and two years after we’d been snowed in, it was time to make things permanent.

  I’d gone with a bronze smoky eye, because Cooper loved the way that looked on me. Dramatic lashes that weren’t too over the top. Tons of highlight so I looked like I was glowing. The bright red lip didn’t exactly match, but again, it was Cooper’s favorite. I’d checked my makeup about a thousand times since I’d finished applying it, but my setting spray was good and I still looked perfect.

  As long as I didn’t sweat and ruin the whole thing.

  Finally, I heard his truck in the driveway. Relief flooded through me, to be instantly replaced by nerves. The house smelled like chicken Florentine. I was wearing a dark blue silk dress shirt and—one last check—my makeup looked perfect. As the door opened, I dropped to one knee.

  “Hey, baby, I’m home!” He called as he shrugged out of his snow-dampened outerwear. He hung up his jacket and kicked off his boots. “Something smells…great…”

  His words trailed off as he saw me. I posed and tilted my head so he could get the full effect of the makeup, then I held up the ring box. The platinum band held a miner cut diamond and would look stunning on his big, strong finger.

  “Jonah?” he whispered.

  “I love you, Adrian. You’re mine. I’m yours. We’ve proved that we can work through anything. Marry me?”

  He hadn’t lost his military-honed reflexes, because one second he was at the door and the next he was on his knees in front of me. Cooper had tears in his eyes, but a huge smile on his face.

  “Yes.”

  THE END

  ABOUT KRIS T. BETHKE

  Kris T. Bethke has been a voracious reader for pretty much her entire life and has been writing stories for nearly as long. An avid and prolific daydreamer, she always has a story in her head.

  She spends most of her free time reading, writing, or knitting/crocheting her latest project. Her biggest desire is to find a way to accomplish all three tasks at one time. A classic muscle car will always turn her head, and naps on the weekend are one of her greatest guilty pleasures. She lives in a converted attic with a way too fluffy cat and the voices in her head. She’ll tell you she thinks that’s a pretty good deal. Kris believes that love is love, no matter the gender of people involved, and that all love deserves to be celebrated.

  For more information, visit kristbethke.com.

  ABOUT JMS BOOKS LLC

  JMS Books LLC is a small queer press with competitive royalty rates publishing LGBT romance, erotic romance, and young adult fiction. Visit jms-books.com for our latest releases and submission guidelines!