by S S Bazinet
* * * * *
As morning light filled the bedroom, Annabel awoke to the smell of coffee and something baking in the oven. She inhaled deeply and smiled. It reminded her of the pastry shop back home. Then she remembered William and how he wasn’t next to her in bed. A bout of loneliness ruined the pleasant feeling she’d had the moment before.
She hoped that William was okay. When he saw her off at the airport, he was encouraging about her trip. However, no matter how hard he tried to hide his feelings, she sensed that he was more troubled than ever. That’s when she had to remind herself that he had lived a very successful life and knew how to take care of himself.
A scratching sound at Annabel’s door brought her back from her thoughts. A series of barks followed. She quickly got up and put on her robe and slippers. When she opened the door, Freddie greeted her like he had the night before. He bounced up and down with enthusiasm. His bright, black eyes emphasized his puppy smile.
“Freddie?” Elise called out from somewhere in the house. “Freddie, where are you? Don’t bother our guest!”
Annabel picked up the puppy and stepped out into the hall. “It’s okay, Elise. I was awake.” She met Elise in the living room. She was about to hand her the puppy, but stopped when she saw Elise’s hands. They were covered in flour. There was also a smudge of flour on Elise’s flushed cheek.
Elise smiled. “Sorry, I’m in the middle of a project.”
Like Freddie, Elise was animated. When she headed back to the kitchen, her steps were hurried and purposeful. Annabel followed, intrigued by the energy in the house. There wasn’t the usual quiet that she experienced at home. It felt like things were happening. Life had a feeling of excitement. “What kind of project?” she asked.
Elise gave her a backwards glance. “I know that in England scones are often served, so I was trying my hand at making some. But I’m not sure about the recipe I found online. I hope the batch I put in the oven comes out alright.”
Annabel ran her hand over Freddie’s soft head and smiled. “I can barely make toast, so I’m afraid I won’t be much help.”
Elise gave her a surprised look. “Don’t you like to cook or bake?”
“I don’t know how. No one has ever taught me.”
Elise smiled. “My gram loved being in the kitchen. She helped me make my first cake.”
“Did you spend much time with her?”
“Some, but she died when I was in my early teens.” Elise paused and sniffed the air. Her eyes flared with panic as she rushed to the stove and grabbed a potholder. “Oh goodness, I think I left the scones in too long,” she said as she retrieved a cookie sheet from the oven. She frowned as she stared at the overly brown pastries.
Annabel walked over to inspect them too. “I’m sure they’re fine.”
“Maybe, but I wanted your first morning to be extra special,” Elise said as she put the cookie sheet on a cooling rack. She went to the sink and washed her hands. “Anyway, I have an idea. Let me take you to breakfast. There’s a place that’s supposed to serve every kind of pancake.”
Annabel put Freddie down and approached the pastries again. She touched one gingerly and smiled. “Would it be okay if we ate these? I really don’t feel like going out just yet.”
Elise dried her hands and looked at Annabel. Her eyes had the same appraising qualities that she’d used on the scones. “You miss your guy, don’t you?”
Annabel felt her cheeks flush. “I’ve never been this far away from William before.”
“When I dated Arel, he sometimes talked about the two of you. I think he envied your wonderful relationship. Of course, now he has Claire, so I’m happy for him.” Elise smiled. “And I know I shouldn’t be, but I’m a little jealous.”
Annabel blinked back. Her former angel senses sometimes resurfaced and helped her to tune into other people. She could feel Elise’s regret. “I’m sorry.”
Elise shrugged. “What’s done is done. Besides, as Carey pointed out, I’m a writer. I’ll just write a new script for my life.”
“You’re going to find the right person. I can feel it in here,” Annabel said tapping her chest.
Elise returned to her chores. “Thanks.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
Elise put a second cookie sheet of pastries in the oven. “Please, get some coffee or I can make you tea. Then sit down and talk to me about this wonderful William of yours while I clean up. I’m always interested in what makes a relationship work.”
Annabel went to the counter and took a cup off the mug tree. “I’d rather hear about your ideas on relationship. It’s what you write about. How did you get started?”
Elise began putting bowls and utensils in the sink. “I guess I was a dreamer. In real life, the guys I settled for weren’t very nice, so I began to invent stories about men and women who did find that perfect love.”
Annabel took her coffee to the table and sat down. “But is there such a thing?”
“No, I don’t believe there is, but I’m beginning to think there are people who can work things out and be happy more of the time than not. Take Michael or Carey. Those two guys never stress. They look for the best in everyone. Wouldn’t it be great to find a guy like that to marry?”
Annabel thought about the two angels and smiled to herself. “I don’t think they represent the norm.”
“I know, but if I meet someone half as nice and considerate, I think I could be happy.”
“You mean like Arel?”
Elise blushed. “Arel might be a bit obsessive when it comes to certain matters, but he’s very sweet.”
“So you could put up with his faults?”
“It wasn’t his faults that kept our relationship from working. It was more me. I couldn’t trust myself to love someone again. But hostility wasn’t an answer either. Finally, I guess I got sick of being angry all the time.”
“So what did you do?”
“I don’t know exactly what happened, but I began to notice that people wanted to help. My neighbors, Peggy and her husband, Tim, were very nice, even after I was very rude. Then Carey and Michael came along. We’d talk about my novel and my characters. They challenged stuff that I believed. Then Michael suggested that I get Freddie. It’s funny, but I thought I was incapable of love, but who can resist Freddie? All and all, I decided I wanted something better. So here I am, not knowing what’s next, but whatever it is, I think that I can handle it.”
“I wish I felt like you.”
“What do you mean?”
“You seem so strong, Elise, but I don’t feel that way. When you talk about handling whatever comes next, it scares me.”
Elise pulled out a chair and sat down. “Believe me, I know how that is. But after being on my own for a long time, I realized that I’d always been strong inside. I just did what a lot of women do, I convinced myself otherwise.”
“Is that the lie? We tell ourselves we’re weak, and then we believe it?”
Elise’s brows narrowed in thought. “Yes, I think that is what we do. In fact, I think I’ll use that idea as the basis for my next book.” She reached out and patted Annabel’s hand. “Thanks, Annabel, you’ve got me thinking about writing a book from a new angle.”
“I’m glad I could help.”
Elise jumped up and got some plates out of the cupboard. “Let’s eat and then we can go for a nice stroll around the neighborhood.”
Annabel hesitated. “Maybe I should stay here in case—”
Elise laughed. “In case Arel is out and about? It’s okay. I found my wig and my oversize, dark glasses. I also have this fake fur coat that will make you look a couple of sizes bigger. Even if Arel did see you, he’d never recognize you. Besides, he thinks I have a guest, so he won’t pay us any attention.”
“I don’t know—”
“Annabel, what’s wrong? You look so worried.”
Annabel sucked in her breath. Why was she so afraid to see Arel or Claire? It didn’t make
sense, but she didn’t know how to change the way she felt. She was reverting back to the time when she’d first taken off her wings. Once she was a human being, everything frightened her. “I know I must look silly to you, but—”
When Elise replied, her voice was soft. “No, you don’t look silly. And I don’t know you very well, but I can tell that you’re too hard on yourself. Take it from someone who knows.”
Annabel bit her lip, trying to keep her emotions from flaring up. “What if I stay this way forever?”
“No, I don’t think so. You’re too smart for that to happen.”
Annabel blinked back in surprise. “How would you know that? Like you said, we just met.”
“Maybe I see a little of myself in you. I used to be terrified of life and fitting in.”
“Really? That’s hard to believe.”
“Believe it, because it’s true,” Elise said as she got up. She went to the oven and checked on the scones. “Great! This batch is just right. Look at that golden color.”
Annabel got up to take a look. “I bet they’re yummy.”
Elise targeted Annabel with piercing, blue eyes. “It just takes practice. If the first batch isn’t right, try again. If you’d like, I’d love to teach you to make them, now that I know what I’m doing.”
Annabel stepped back. “I’d like that. And I’d also like to take that walk with you and Freddie.”
As soon as Freddie heard his name and the word ‘walk’, he raised his head and abandoned his chew toy. He came running over to Elise. He let out insistent, little yaps as he did circles around her.
Elise leaned in to Annabel and lowered her voice to a whisper. “I forgot to tell you about watching what you say. Freddie has very good hearing, especially when it comes to that word, w-a-l-k.” She spelled out the word and laughed. “It’s one of his favorite activities.”
Twenty-Six
WILLIAM PUT HIS phone on the side table, still feeling a bit confused about his conversation with Annabel. She seemed to be having a wonderful visit. She had nothing but praise for Elise. In Annabel’s eyes, the woman was nothing short of a saint.
Elise’s kindness came in unexpected ways. She was teaching Annabel to cook and bake. She also encouraged Annabel to keep a journal. On a lighter note, Elise helped Annabel to take on a secret identity to use when they went for walks. William smiled when he thought of the picture Annabel had sent him. She wore a blond wig and the biggest sunglasses William had ever seen. Her makeup was totally different. A deep, passionate red replaced her normally pink lips. She also wore rouge and dangly earrings. Annabel had been transformed into a new and intriguing temptress. William hardly recognized her, but he was glad that she was happy.
“Well, Raphael, it seems Annabel is doing very well. Maybe she just needed to get away from me.”
“She needs time to find out how to be more of herself, that’s all,” Raphael replied.
The angel had been staying close after Annabel made him promise to watch over William. He sat on the downstairs sofa, paging through one of William’s science magazines.
William frowned. “She was much too worried about me, especially when she asked you not to leave.”
Raphael continued to study an article attentively. When he seemed satisfied with whatever he’d read, he put the magazine aside. “Would you like me to go?”
William felt his gut tighten. He wanted to answer in the affirmative, but his body had different ideas. If he thought about being on his own, his muscles seized up and his anxiety level rocketed. “I feel like I’ve lost control over my body.”
“Do you remember a conversation that you had with Arel? It was during his first visit here. When you were dealing with your emotional mood swings, he said that you needed to connect with that boy inside of you, that young child who loved nature, who cherished the earth.”
William’s muscles tightened even more. “I remember. And I’ll tell you what I told Arel. This world has no room for children. To live on this planet, you have to be tough. You can’t care about the things a child loves. Look at Annabel. She’s a prime example of what happens when you bring someone naïve into the world. She’s constantly in a panic.”
“Annabel sounds like she’s fine.”
“She’s staying in a secure environment, with someone who’s treating her very well.”
“You’re talking about Elise.”
“Right, from what I know, Elise is another example of someone who knew abuse. It took Michael and Carey’s assistance to help her get past her bitterness. Now, who knows how long she’ll be able to maintain her new attitude.”
“William, after all that you’ve been through recently, you’ve still triumphed. Why are you still so adamant about this topic?”
William held his gut, trying to resist the pain that was stirring there. “I remember what it was like to be a child. I’ll never allow myself to feel like that again. So drop it.”
Raphael nodded and ran a hand over the magazine he’d been reading. “So tell me, what have you heard from Arel?”
William sat back and relaxed a little. “Nothing. He’s a man caught up in something that is crushing the life out of him. But he doesn’t have a clue.”
“Then the two of you have something in common.”
William’s angry protest was immediate and short-lived. Before he could tell Raphael how different he was from Arel, an all-consuming pain shot through his gut. He didn’t know how long it lasted. He only knew that the punishing torment had encapsulated the cruelty and fierceness of everything he was fighting so hard to forget. After it passed, he sat immobilized and gasping.
Raphael called out to him from far away. “William, let it go!”
It was an impossible request. How could he let go of something that came and went of its own accord?
Raphael called to him again, still sounding very far away. “You’re holding on to the pain, William! Let go!”
“No!” When William voiced his protest, the pain sliced through him a second time. He was at its mercy, helpless to save himself. He feared that his life would be snatched away at any moment! When he finally opened his eyes, Raphael was shaking him. He stared back with little hope. Deep down, he knew he was doomed.
Twenty-Seven
ROLPHE'S HANDS WERE braced on the frame of the kitchen window. A storm was closing in fast on Paris. Gloomy, grey clouds blanketed the city. The threatening weather matched the heavy feeling that had settled in Rolphe’s bones. Arel and William were in trouble. He was sure of it.
William was especially worrisome. His energy was that of a warrior again, waging a fierce battle, this time with himself. Rolphe wanted to talk to him, but he couldn’t go against William’s wishes. The man had shut himself off with shields that said, “Stay away.”
After days of reviewing the situation and finding no resolution, Rolphe knew he needed angelic advice. Carey came to mind. Rolphe felt more at ease talking to him than Michael.
Michael was kind and compassionate, but Rolphe had glimpsed Michael’s true magnificent nature on several occasions. It was so awe inspiring that Rolphe found it intimidating. On the other hand, Carey kept his grandness hidden. He seemed to enjoy playing the role of a young man who dressed in torn jeans and tennis shoes with holes in the toe.
Still, when Rolphe turned away from the kitchen window and saw Carey sitting on his couch, he jumped back with surprise. He’d barely thought about asking for Carey’s help, and the angel was instantly in his living room.
Carey smiled. “I’m sorry to startle you, but I heard you calling.”
“It’s always a great honor to speak with you,” Rolphe said as he bowed his head. His background and beliefs demanded that he give the Creator’s messenger his special due.
“Please, come and sit down, Rolphe,” Carey said in an easy-going tone.
Rolphe obeyed at once, but he came forward slowly, reverently. Michael and Carey had always encouraged him to be relaxed around them, but he could never man
age it. When he spoke, his voice sounded weak and husky. “I’m worried about William. Please, tell me how to help him.”
“I’m sorry, Rolphe, but I don’t think that William is ready to deal with his problems.”
Rolphe’s eyes lit up with a beautiful memory. “I’ve seen him in visions while I was painting. His heart and soul shine so brightly.”
“Good, keep your focus on that image.”
“It’s difficult to do that. Sometimes, when I tap into his current state, a sense of impending doom grabs hold. What if he slips out of this world?”
“Every person has free will, and it’s important to respect their decisions.”
“Are you saying that I shouldn’t try to change his mind?”
“Perhaps you aren’t giving yourself enough credit. By remaining resolute in your belief in William, you can be a steadying force without William even knowing it.”
Rolphe settled into the couch with a scowl. “All that I’ve been able to do for either William or Arel is to pray for their safety.”
“You don’t seem convinced that your prayers have value.”
Rolphe let out a gasp of despair. “I prayed for my wife and children when they got sick. And what good did it do? Perhaps the Creator thinks my petitions are inferior.”
“Prayer can be a tricky business. Unfortunately, fearful prayers often have little faith behind them. But when you focus on Divine love and trust that there is a Divine plan for each person, it’s much more effective.”
“I wish I knew that when my family was suffering. My prayers were frantic and filled with dread.”
“Rolphe, even if your prayers were aligned with their best interests, sometimes people come into physical form and live very brief lives. In those cases, their souls decide when it’s time to leave the world.”
“But my children didn’t want to die!”
“They were born into very difficult times, violent times. Many people left the earth. Those who stayed were strong enough to keep going and searching for something better, people like you.”
