by Laura Brown
She moved with him, her entire body sensitized and tuned in to his every touch and shift. Until coldness hit her chest. She glanced down and, yup, she had leaked.
Mood killer, postpartum style.
Nolan paused, but his face showed no disgust. “You O.K.?”
“I’m leaking.”
He glanced down and the heat in his eyes didn’t diminish. “Can I lick?” His hands moved in a sensual motion, as though outlining her breast, and she nearly felt his touch.
She shuddered. And even though his smile showed he felt it, he waited for her nod, before bending, blond hair falling over his forehead as he lapped up the trail down her breast, tingles exploding around his touch. Her body quaked.
“I see why Archie likes it.” Then he licked up her second breast and she nearly came from that alone. He gave her a satisfied grin, welcoming all the changes to her body as though they were the best new technology. She didn’t understand how it was possible, but Nolan found her more attractive as a mother. She started to wonder if it was a MILF thing, when he gave her one big thrust, and all thoughts scattered from her mind. She fell into the rhythm, the fast pace, as everything climbed until she didn’t care if she leaked, only that this moment continued.
She clutched his shoulders, his back, his ass, meeting his thrusts, loving every second they shared together. Until she burst, one final orgasm, satisfying every nerve she had and some she hadn’t known about.
Nolan’s head rested in the crook of her neck, and she realized they either came together, or damn near close. He held himself above her, breathing heavily, and she brushed his hair off his forehead.
Her heart screamed at her, confession after confession, and she swallowed them all down. Too soon, too raw, too much at stake. Then he pressed his lips against hers, soft and sweet, as though answering her emotional upheaval.
Maybe, just maybe, they were on the same page. And maybe one day her fantasy would come true. For now she held him close, a few more moments to lay in this bliss.
…
Nolan stifled a yawn the next morning as he waited in line at a coffee shop close to his apartment. And yet this tired felt happy, a willing sacrifice for having two of the most important people to him in his life, at least for a few more days. The coffee aroma surrounded him, and a few feet away, Izzy sat at a table, with Archie kicking in his stroller. Two tired parents called for breakfast out and they were far enough away from work that no one should catch them.
He liked this, being out with Izzy and Archie, doing something for them by taking care of their order, even if it benefited only Izzy. It killed him a bit to realize this couldn’t continue, not with their jobs. He hadn’t a clue how they could continue without it becoming a problem for one, or both, of them. Maybe after adequate coffee and a thorough reading of the human resources packet he thought had migrated to the bottom of his desk drawer, he’d figure something out.
The line inched forward, and he glanced back at Archie, who flailed his hands and feet, looking right at Nolan with his drooling smile. Nolan looked forward, then swung his head back around to Archie, who clapped and laughed. Since Izzy was checking something on her phone, Nolan continued the peek-a-boo game, until he misjudged the moving line and rammed into the person in front of him.
He held his hands up, inching backward, signing “sorry” while mouthing the word. The woman around forty or fifty with overly processed blonde hair did not look amused. He’d explain more about the kid, but as soon as he grabbed his phone to type his apology the woman turned back around, ending his chance to communicate.
That cut into some of his happy, tired state. He kept his phone out, since he’d moved closer to the front than he thought. When his turn arrived he handed over his phone, with his order and Izzy’s typed up. The cashier’s mouth moved and Nolan couldn’t figure out what he was saying. He pointed to his ear and shook his head. The guy nodded and rang up the order, reminding Nolan why he liked this place; for whatever reason they discriminated less than other places did.
When their order was ready he brought it over to the table, Archie clapping as he sat down. “Does he ever not clap?” he asked.
Izzy took a sip of her caramel latte. “Sometimes. I find the clapping cute.”
He did, too.
“You ready for the big meeting?”
His hand wobbled as he unwrapped his breakfast sandwich and he wanted to kick himself. It was a meeting, nothing to be nervous or overdramatic about. But so much rested on this one meeting. He had to prove himself, needed to know his ideas were good and valid and that he could be a positive addition to the agency. And yeah, he knew more than half of his worries stemmed from his childhood and the New York fiasco, and that he amped up the pressure with no outside help needed. He wanted this win.
Izzy waved. “You O.K.? I lost you there.”
He took a bite of his egg and cheese sandwich. “I’m fine.” It would have worked if his signs hadn’t turned jerky, knocking into his large iced coffee. It wobbled and he tried to grab it, somehow managing to knock it again.
Right into his lap.
Nolan stood up, the liquid dripping down his pants and onto the floor. He thanked his luck he went with iced and not hot as the cold drink chilled his skin. Izzy jumped up, handing over napkins as Archie clapped.
“I suspect you are a little bit nervous?”
Nolan dabbed at his pants, but nothing short of an industrial-sized dryer would work at this point. “Maybe.”
Izzy pushed her lips together, but he caught the laughter in her eyes. An employee showed up with more napkins, as though the tiny scraps would take care of the large iced coffee he currently wore as pants, and began mopping up the spill.
Izzy still held in her laughter.
“It’s O.K., laugh.”
She shook her head. “No, it’s not funny.”
He glanced down at his light beige pants and the large darker beige from his drink. He looked like he was Archie without a diaper. “It’s a little funny.”
Her shoulders shook, and she covered her mouth.
He removed her fingers, finding her lips curved. “It’s O.K. ” After all, he was used to doing something like this; it surprised him he hadn’t done it before around her. Though the failed condom certainly had been a big one. And yet, her laughter coaxed his out, and he had to smile even though his legs were wet and cold.
“No, it’s not O.K., but seeing your smile is.” Then, even though Archie sat there watching them, she lifted onto her toes and kissed him on the lips, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
They cleaned up the trash and one of the employees brought over a new drink for Nolan. He thanked them the best he could, because this day now needed even more caffeine than before. He took a sip, but the cold beverage just reminded him of his cold thighs. Nolan knew these pants would not work for an important presentation. “I’m going home to get changed. Bonus, we won’t arrive at work at the same time.”
Izzy nodded. “Good idea, but eat first or take it with you.”
He settled down to eat a slightly soggy meal while uncomfortable, but at least he had Izzy and Archie with him. With any luck, this would be the biggest misadventure of the day, saving him from any calamities with the board meeting.
Chapter Nineteen
Izzy worked at typing up a report for Deanna, while keeping an eye on Archie playing at her feet. Multitasking was a seriously underrated skill, and from now on she’d be putting that front and center on her résumés—multitasking genius.
Movement at the area entrance caught her attention, and she knew it to be Nolan before she even looked up. She always managed to sense him, as though their connection ran deeper than the kid they shared. She soaked him in, enjoying the view, especially as he’d popped open the top two buttons on his green shirt, showing off his neck. Then his disheveled hair came into foc
us, and the worry creases around his eyes. The closer they got to the meeting, the more frazzled he appeared, the spilled coffee this morning the tip of the iceberg, she feared. She knew the meeting was important to him, but each nervous twitch of his jaw reminded her she hadn’t realized how much until now.
He stopped by her desk, fingers tapping the surface three times before signing. “Can I bother you?”
She bit her cheek, because she really liked being bothered by him, in many different ways. Perhaps he needed a little relaxation, and she knew a few things that caused him to lose control. But not the place or the time, and not at work with Archie at her feet. She kept her cool and signed, “What’s up?”
“Can you check the sound on the video again? I know most of the board is Deaf, but for those who do have hearing I want to make sure the full effect is felt.”
She smiled. She’d already listened to it a dozen times, getting the sound to line up just right, but the slight shake to his hands was not typical of Nolan. “Sure. But…” She pointed down, and he came around her desk to where Archie played. The minute Nolan came into view, Archie looked up, clapped as though his father appearing was a magic act, and began crawling over.
Apparently Izzy wasn’t the only one getting attached.
“Hard to listen and watch him,” she signed. “I’ll have to wait until he naps.”
“No. I need your help. If anyone has a problem with it they can talk to me and not Deanna.” Nolan scooped up the baby. Then he turned and walked away, tossing Archie into the air, his peals of laughter echoing around the corner.
Izzy sat for a moment, watching even though they were out of sight. The interaction played on a loop in her head. A simple, domestic moment. After less than a week, Nolan didn’t even flinch. He was hands-on and involved with his son’s life, even if work didn’t want him to be.
Izzy sent up a silent prayer that it would continue and they would find some way around the office protocols. For Archie’s sake. And hers, but Archie came first.
“That is the cutest thing. He’s really taken to your baby,” Lisa said.
Izzy smiled and nodded, afraid to speak. She’d nearly forgotten about Lisa’s presence and feared too much showed in her interactions with Nolan.
“I love how you’ve taught Archie ASL. Was it just baby sign stuff?”
Izzy’s smile faltered. Why would she teach baby sign when she could give her child two full languages? “Actually Archie’s father is Deaf, so it made perfect sense.”
Izzy clamped her mouth shut. Shit. Why had she said that? Why hadn’t she mentioned her Deaf brother-in-law, which was reason enough, beyond the benefits of dual languages?
Lisa leaned forward. “Really? He’s Deaf? Do I know him?” Her lips curved, more sly than friendly, as though a warning simmered below the surface.
Izzy lowered her eyebrows, no longer able to keep her cool. Lisa had probably met a dozen Deaf adults and suddenly thought she knew everyone? “I really need to get back to work. Excuse me.” Izzy stood and made a beeline for the front desk, eager to get away from talkative Lisa.
At the front desk Shanice clicked on the computer, not on a call. Izzy tapped the desk and proceeded to speak in both languages. “Odd question, but do we have any headphones here? I need to listen to the video again and don’t want to bother the other interns.” Or be bothered by them.
Shanice nodded. “Yup. Hang on, I’ll go grab ’em.” She disappeared below her desk, rummaging around in drawers, before reemerging with a thick older model headset. “This is what we’ve got.”
Izzy accepted it. “Thanks, I’ll make it work.”
Shanice looked around Izzy. “Where’s that adorable little boy?”
“With his—” Izzy stopped herself short before she continued. What was with her today? “With Nolan. Just so I can check the sound.” Crap, who had been the one complaining? Izzy hated to think it had been Shanice, but she had to be more careful.
“He’s really a sweet guy.”
Yeah, he was sweet. And sexy and stepping up even though he could have brushed Izzy and Archie off.
Shanice leaned forward. “What was that?” Her voice dropped low. “It really is a shame about the no-dating policy; you two would be cute together.”
Danger. Danger. Abort mission! Izzy’s cheeks warmed and she prayed the warmth didn’t translate to a pink tinge. “I’m just grateful he’s allowed me to work while my usual childcare was away.”
Shanice laughed. “No, that’s not it at all. But there’s nothing wrong with a harmless crush. I would totally crush on someone who liked my kid the way he likes yours, even if it was just a fun fantasy.”
Shanice had hit a little too close to reality. Yes, she did have a crush on Nolan, more than a crush, if she were honest. She took the interaction as a warning to do better about her self-control; no one could know the truth.
“Is there a reason for the policy? I expect that from bigger agencies than this.” She might be revealing too much of her stack of cards, but curiosity got the better of her and she had to know.
Shanice glanced around and continued speaking in a hushed voice, no signs. “I heard that ten years ago, before my time, there were two staff members who started dating. They had a nasty breakup and proceeded to sabotage each other’s jobs, which directly affected our services and negatively impacted several clients. Both were fired and the board added the no-dating policy to ensure they never had a similar issue again.”
Izzy felt the blood drain from her face but forced the smile to stay as she made her way back to her desk. A shiver ran down her spine; with that kind of rationale for creating the policy, she couldn’t think of a single scenario that would be okay with Nolan and her seeing each other, never mind having a kid together.
Through the worries, the initial words settled in, about how Nolan had taken to Archie. She was glad, oh so glad, that he had. But he had reasons to. And now everyone thought extra of him because he simply did what he should as Archie’s father.
A sad reality of life as a parent. Even with all the forward steps to gender equality and dual parenting many still assumed a woman would take care of the kids. So Archie would always be her job, but wasn’t it nice when a father babysat.
Izzy hadn’t grown up that way. Her father was hands-on as much as her mother was. If she had a say, she’d choose the same dynamic for her children. But society still viewed things askew, making her question if the same sentiments would be shared if the truth of Archie’s paternity were known.
She also wondered if her feelings for Nolan would have been as easily pegged without the permanent connection between them.
She could discuss it with Gaby later, all the ins and outs of motherhood versus fatherhood and the layers in between. For now, she had to focus on her job, which included keeping her distance from Nolan.
The office area was empty, Lisa nowhere to be found. Izzy headed straight for her desk, plugging in the headphones before sitting down, to ensure a certain nosy intern wouldn’t bother her when she returned. She accessed the video and double-clicked on the icon. The program opened, but the image remained frozen. She clicked play several times, and nothing changed.
Ugh, old temperamental computers of the nonprofit life.
She closed the program down and tried again, Nolan’s image still frozen onscreen. She’d played this on her computer before, so she knew it had worked. What could have changed in a day? And to make things worse, she’d be in charge of setting the visuals for the meeting, so she needed to be sure it worked on her computer.
Izzy closed it down again, needing to test out a different video. But she had none on her computer. She tapped the keyboard as she remembered the video she had made the night before—and stored on her cloud. She quickly downloaded it to her work computer and accessed the file. No audio, since Nolan didn’t need it, and Izzy wasn’t a huge fan of pa
iring images to music. The stress of finding the right sounds to capture the mood was too much for her slap-it-together-and-call-it-done style.
The images began, but she had them in order and really didn’t need to see her pregnant self on screen. She switched to shuffle, and after two images of Archie scrolled across, she knew this video worked. She minimized that and opened Nolan’s presentation video again, relieved to find it working.
The headphones did the trick and she watched it twice, checking for sound and any other glitches they might have missed. And, perhaps, to steal the moment to observe Nolan without him present.
…
Nolan sat at his desk, Archie on his lap, blank document open as Archie penned his life memoir, which mostly consisted of the letter G. Nolan had closed down all his important programs and scrolled through his presentation on his phone. He had the video completed and polished and checked by Izzy, organized listings on his future ideas, and stats on the social media accounts.
All in all, he felt confident, even if he couldn’t review as he preferred.
Archie continued banging, and every few pages Nolan caught an actual unintended word. Then the typing stopped and Archie faced the door just as Nolan caught a hand flick the lights.
Archie clapped.
Deanna entered, face softening at the sight of the baby. “Oh look at you, so happy!” She faced Nolan. “I’ve been telling my partner how even with two kids this little one is giving me baby fever.”
Nolan bounced Archie on his knee, unsure how to respond. After the complaint, the timing couldn’t be worse for her to be here when he had Archie.
“You ready for the presentation tonight?”
Throwing up sounded like a good idea, but he smiled instead and held a thumbs-up. “We should be good to go.”
“Wonderful, we’re all excited to see your new ideas.” Her eyes drifted to Archie, who had resumed his typing, then checked the door. “Have you heard anything about his father?”
