Shadow

by Laurann Dohner

  Shadow stared at her, surprised that she was so calm. She almost seemed amused by the situation.

  “You know, ‘drowned rat’? It was a joke. I heard monkeys can’t swim though. I wonder if that’s true. I’ve never tried it before.”

  This wasn’t going as he’d imagined. He’d thought she would be screaming, perhaps bursting into tears, but she just released her hair to peer around the cramped room.

  “What is this place?”

  “We store sports equipment here.”

  “Oh. Are they fun to play? I’m not allowed. I’ve watched though and it looks enjoyable.”

  “It depends on the sport.” He almost turned around but then remembered why he kept his back to her. His dick refused to comply with his brain, which was ordering it not to be interested in the Gift Female.

  A shiver ran down her small frame and Shadow softly growled. Her gaze darted to him and widened. A hint of fear finally showed in her eyes.

  “Sorry,” he rasped. “I’m not angry or anything. I just hate that you’re cold. I need to get you help.” He reached for the door.

  “Stop!”

  His hand hovered over the handle when he glanced back at her. She’d risen to her feet. The white nightgown hugged every curve of her body and made him aware she wasn’t similar to the Species females he was accustomed to. Her hips were fuller, her belly softer and she was little. He guessed she couldn’t be more than just an inch over five feet tall. One thing was certain. She wasn’t wearing underwear. His gaze paused at the thin material plastered to her middle before he stared at the floor.

  “Please don’t risk your life by walking out into that storm. Just wait for it to pass. This is my fault. I shouldn’t have left the dorm but I wasn’t thinking rationally at the time. I’d never forgive myself if something happened to you.”

  “I’ll be fine.” His chest puffed up a little, his pride injured. “I’m tougher than a little hail.”

  “I don’t doubt that. You look fierce in your uniform and you’re very big.”

  He glanced at her face, worried that she might be afraid if she noticed those things. No fear showed in her gaze though as they examined each other. He wasn’t sure what to do.

  “Please don’t go.” She stepped closer. “Would it be so bad to wait out the storm with me?”

  He held back a groan. “You’re Gift and you need assistance from another female.”

  Her chin lifted and anger flashed in her eyes. “I know the rules but I’m not afraid of you. It’s just stupid to leave here to get help when I don’t need it.”

  “I’m a male.”

  “I see that.”

  He tried a new line of reasoning. “You shouldn’t be alone with one.”

  Her arms hugged her chest again. “Are you going to hurt me?”

  “Never.”

  “Exactly my point.” She glanced around. “We need to get warm first. I read a lot and that’s what the books say. We should take off our wet things and find something dry to wear.”

  His mouth fell open. “What?”

  She stared at something above his head to the left and pointed. “What is that up there?”

  He followed the direction of her finger. “Those are flags.”

  Beauty worried that the big man would bolt. He looked ready to as he faced the door once again. Shadow was really tall and his hair was short. It was an oddity to see a Species with it cut so close to his head. His blue eyes were really pretty and she was sure he was canine, the way he growled and snarled.

  “Flags?”

  He sighed loudly and partially turned in her direction to stare at her calmly. “Flags. We have teams and someone thought it would be nice to put them on the benches when we play.”

  “Can you hand me one?”

  He slowly reached up to the folded material and pulled. She inched closer. He towered over her by almost a foot and a half. Her head didn’t even reach his broad shoulders. Shadow was careful not to touch her when he passed it over. The soft, silky material was dry and thicker than she’d hoped. She unfolded it to stare at the white fabric with an orange lion’s head printed on the center of it.

  “It looks as if it’s made out of flames. That’s pretty.”

  “I guess.” He shifted his stance. “The other one has a wolf face. Or a dog. I’m not sure which was intended.”

  “Is there a third one for the primates?”

  “No. Just the two. I don’t know why but there probably should be one.” He appeared uncomfortable.

  “These are big. What do you guess? Maybe four feet by two and a half?”

  “I am not sure.”

  “We should wear these.”

  His mouth pursed into a tight line. “No.”

  “You could tie it around your waist as though it’s a towel and this one will fit me if I wrap it around my body like a dress.”

  “No.” His voice deepened. “I’ll go radio your location to Security and they will send out a female officer.”

  The wind still battered the sides of the small building but the hail had passed. “The rain is still really coming down hard. You shouldn’t go out there.”

  “I must.” He grabbed the door handle.

  “Don’t!” She hated the way she almost pleaded with him but the truth was that she didn’t want him to leave. She’d never been alone with a Species man before but he wasn’t frightening to her. Curiosity got the better of her and she just wanted to spend some time with him. “Please?”

  His head whipped around and his eyes narrowed. “You’re afraid to be left alone?” His expression softened. “I will radio it in and return immediately.”

  Guilt ate at Beauty as she flat-out lied. It was wrong to do that but she didn’t want him to go just yet. “I’ll be terrified. Stay with me.”

  He released the door. “This building is built well and it’s safe.”

  “Don’t leave me.”

  He relented. “I’ll stay.”

  “Thank you.” She realized she’d survive guilty feelings at the deception. “I’ll put this on and you can grab that other one. We’ll be dry to wait out the storm.”

  “I’m fine.” He looked away. “You change. You’re cold.”

  She backed away from him and dropped the flag on the box where she’d sat. The nightgown stuck to her body as she tugged it over her head. A chill ran down her as the air touched her bare skin. It was cold. She squeezed out her hair as well as she could before touching the flag. It wasn’t much protection against the cool temperature but it was dry as she secured it around her body. It covered her from just over her breasts to her knees.

  “I’m decent.” Her attention focused on him. “I’ll close my eyes. You really need to remove those wet clothes. Please? I know you’re tough but I’ll worry.”

  He turned his head to stare at her. “It isn’t a good idea.”

  “Why not?”

  His chest expanded as he took a few deep breaths. “Never mind.”

  Amusement sparked. She wasn’t dense. “Do you think I’ll be terrified if you’re mostly undressed with me? I won’t be. You’re Species.”

  The glint in his eyes turned almost harsh. “I’m male.”

  He slowly lowered his gaze to sweep down her body. His interest quickened Beauty’s heartbeat. He didn’t need to say more. She’d heard men were always eager to share sex with a woman. The idea of him touching her didn’t send her into a panic. The sounds her next-door neighbors made when they had company pretty much assured her that consensual sex wasn’t a bad thing.

  “Please take off your wet things and wear the flag?” She purposely turned her back to give him privacy, the way he had her.

  A soft growl was his answer but then his clothing rustled. He was doing it. Beauty hugged her waist to keep the silky material in place and smiled at the wall. He wasn’t leaving and it would just be the two of them together until the storm passed. She finally would be able to get to know a man.

  Chapter Two

&
nbsp; “I’m covered.”

  Beauty resisted laughing at Shadow’s gruff tone. She turned to find his back still to her but he’d removed his boots, pants, shirt, and vest. They were neatly arranged in front of the door. The blue flag tied around his waist showed a wolf head covered part of his thigh on the opposite side of where he’d knotted the material at his hipbone to keep it in place.

  “I really do like the flame patterns.”

  “Are you warmer?”

  “No.” That wasn’t a lie. “It’s so cold.”

  “What were you doing out in the storm?” He glanced around the room, seeming to study everything but her. “You could have been hurt.”

  “I had a nightmare and just wanted some fresh air.”

  His blue gaze fixed on her immediately. “In the midst of a storm?”

  “It seemed the thing to do at the time. It wasn’t smart, was it?”

  His lips pressed together and he looked away to stare at the long box she’d been sitting on. He took a hesitant step closer but paused. “You’re shivering. Do not be alarmed. I could sit down and you could curl into me. I have greater body heat than you probably do.”

  The idea of getting close to him didn’t alarm her but instead it was a bit exciting. “Okay.”

  He moved slowly, as if he feared she’d bolt, until he inched around her and sat on the center of the box. The flag covered his lap and the top of one thigh, the other side slit up to the knot riding his hip. His gaze held hers.

  “There is no reason to fear me.”

  “You can use my name. It’s Beauty.”

  “I remember.” His body looked hard and muscular—unyielding—as his arms parted as if to expose his entire chest to her view. “Allow me to warm you. I won’t do more than sit here. You curl into me. I won’t touch you.”

  She wasn’t even sure what to do but hesitantly approached. He was so large and his bronzed skin mesmerized her. His legs closed until his thighs were clamped together and he broke eye contact.

  “Sit sideways across my lap and lean against me.”

  I can do this. She sat down on him the way he wanted and peered up at his face. He closed his eyes though and avoided looking at her again. Warmth seeped through the flags in seconds and she dragged her wet hair over her other shoulder to prevent it from brushing the chest she leaned against. He was solid and firm. Her hand opened and it trembled as she pressed it against the tight abs of his lower belly.

  He sucked in air but didn’t open his eyes as she felt the muscles bunch under her palm. “You’re very warm.”

  “Good.” Shadow’s voice came out unusually deep. “What was your nightmare about? We should pass the time talking. You are safe at Homeland. There is nothing for you to fear.”

  Beauty grew braver and adjusted a little on his lap. It was comfortable sitting on him and she rested her cool cheek against his chest more firmly. The smell of him filled her nose as she took a deep breath. It was a nice masculine scent mixed with hints of the storm.

  “It was actually a memory of something real that happened. I wish it was just part of my imagination.”

  She thought he tensed but the motion was so mild that she wasn’t sure if he just slightly adjusted or if it was a reaction to her words. He breathed and it rubbed his chest a little against her. She liked the feel of him and relaxed against his frame.

  “Do you want to talk about it? We all have things that have happened to us that follow us into our dreams.”

  “I did something bad when I was rescued.”

  “You didn’t believe they were really there to free you? It’s a common mistake a lot of us made. You are not to blame. Who thought we could ever trust humans?”

  “It was a man,” she admitted. “He asked me to be nice to him. He feared I’d attack him and I…” Her voice trailed off. She was ashamed to admit what she’d done.

  A hand tentatively patted her back twice before it stopped. The touch was so soft she barely felt it. “It is understandable if you tried to harm him.”

  “I did worse.”

  “Humans harmed us. Nothing is your fault, Beauty.”

  Her heart did funny things, hearing the raspy way he said her name. She listened to his heartbeat. It was loud in her ear and strong. Steady. It was soothing and nice. “I thought…” She bit her lip. “I don’t even want to say it.”

  “That he would harm you? That’s what humans did to us.”

  She pulled away from him a little to stare up at his face. His chin lowered and he peered back at her. Compassion and acceptance softened them and encouraged her to speak. She wanted to confess to Shadow for some reason.

  “I was owned by a man so old his hair was white and his skin was wrinkled. He would yell at me sometimes when I was a child and I didn’t know why he seemed so angry. It wasn’t until I grew older that things turned worse. He was waiting until I was an adult to get what he wanted from me.”

  Shadow suddenly growled and his facial expression changed. A flash of fear shot through her and her instincts made her want to bolt. He must have sensed it because his arms loosely wrapped around her.

  “Calm,” he softly ordered. “I’d never harm you. It’s not you I feel the rage toward. I’ve heard the stories of what was done to Gift Females. There’s no need to relive the trauma you suffered.”

  “I need to talk about it.” She wanted to get to know Shadow and hear his story. She hoped sharing hers would make him open up. “He never hurt me physically when I was growing up. I’ve heard some of the stories too. He didn’t molest me as a child.”

  Some of the anger eased from his features. “I am glad to hear it.”

  “He waited for me to mature.”

  His chest under her hand vibrated half a second before a growl was muffled behind his closed lips. She understood it wasn’t directed at her. Her gaze left his to focus on his chest. It was easier to talk while not staring into his eyes.

  “He wasn’t too physically abusive, it was more mental. I didn’t enjoy him touching me but I’ve heard worse stories. It didn’t even last long.”

  “Stop,” Shadow whispered. “Please?”

  She looked at his face and it surprised her to see unshed tears in his eyes. He hurt for her and it stunned her that a stranger would feel such emotion over something that had happened in her past.

  “He got cancer. It’s a disease that made him weak and sick.”

  “I hope he died painfully.” Shadow’s jaw clenched.

  “He survived but he couldn’t touch me anymore. It left him in a wheelchair and unable to hurt me.”

  “Good.” He snarled.

  She nodded and leaned back against him, closing her eyes. His heartbeat had increased, hammering inside his chest. “The guards never dared touch me. They did say things. I knew what they wanted from me. They’d offer me more food and to treat me nicer if I did things to them and for them.”

  The arms around her tightened enough that she felt secure in his hold. “We do what we must to survive.”

  “I never did it.” She shivered, remembering how they’d taunt her by eating in front of her and saying crude things. “I was never nice to them. They scared me but I knew if I told Master that he’d fire them. He made it clear that none of them were allowed to put their hands on me. He would question me a lot about that and made me promise to tell him if anyone tried to come into the basement without him sending them there to fetch me to visit him.”

  “You remembered this and had a nightmare.”

  She nodded. “I was scared when I was rescued. I didn’t know it at the time but Master had heard his association to Mercile Industries was discovered and he fled the country. He must have feared they’d find out he owned me. He left me with those men. They were always telling me to be nice to them, asking me to do sexual things with them. They had mean eyes and handled me roughly when they took me to a new location to hide. I hated the way they watched me shower.” She shivered at the memory, remembering her terror that she’d be atta
cked. “I often made them angry so they’d punish me by not allowing me to get clean.”

  The arms around her tightened and Shadow hugged her against his body. She liked how warm and safe it made her feel. “I think Master hoped no one would find out he had me and he’d threatened the men to keep me alive in case he could get me back. I’ve thought a lot about it. He must have ordered them not to touch me. It’s the only thing that could have kept them from just taking what they wanted.”

  “Don’t call him that. No one owns you.”

  “It’s the only name I have for him. It was a rule.”

  “There are no more rules.”

  She nodded. “Not with him.”

  “You’re free and never going back. There’s no need to have nightmares.”

  “The man who helped rescue me asked me to be nice to him. I thought he wanted me to do things to him,” she admitted softly. “That’s what I was dreaming about. He was very kind and I’d been so afraid for so long. They kept me hungry and locked in chains in the dark. They said things about what they’d do to me if Master said to kill me. They were planning on hurting me first.” Her voice choked up. “The man who rescued me was so nice. I thought if I was nice to him, he’d keep me safe. I had never given in to someone before but I did with him. I thought if I allowed him to have my body that he’d protect me from my old life.”

  “What is his name?” Shadow snarled. “A task force member shared sex with you? I’ll kill him.”

  Her head snapped up and rage showed on his face. “No. He stopped me immediately. That’s why I feel shame and dream about it. He was horrified. I misunderstood and I touched him wrong. Nothing happened between us.”

  He leaned in closer, staring deeply into her eyes. “The truth? You can tell me anything. I’ll make him pay if he took advantage of you.”

  “He didn’t. It’s my shame.”

  “You were mistaken and scared.” One of his arms slid from around her waist and his big hand gently cupped her face. “You were trying to survive the best you could. There is no shame in that. Are you sure he didn’t take advantage of you? Touch you wrong? Perhaps ask you to touch him?”