Shadow

by Laurann Dohner

  “I’m right. For all their macho crap, nothing is scarier to one of our males than someone they think might break under them. You haven’t seen any of our males fall for humans but I have. It’s some funny shit but don’t repeat I ever said it.” Breeze sobered. “Shadow was abused while in captivity. Just know that he’s got some sexual hang-ups too and he will be sensitive to what you have survived.”

  It hurt Beauty to be reminded about Shadow’s past. “He knows what it’s like to be spun around and pinned down while someone hurts him from behind?”

  Breeze closed her eyes and breathed heavily for long seconds before she focused her gaze on Beauty. Rage simmered there. “No. His suffering involved drugs and machines. Do me a favor though. Tell Shadow to take you facing him if you decide to share sex with him. Tell him it’s important and I said so. Can you do that for me?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good.” Breeze pushed away from the door and lifted the bag. “Let’s go. The helicopter pilots should be prepared to fly you to Reservation by now. Just tell Shadow if the flying frightens you. I’m sure he’ll be more than happy to be comforting. The ride isn’t long.”

  “I’ve never been conscious before while in the air. They drugged me when I was brought here.”

  “It will be fine. I’ve flown lots of times.”

  The hallway was empty but Beauty wasn’t lucky enough to avoid the women when they stepped out of the elevator on the first floor. At least ten of them stood silently waiting, their expressions worried. It was Tiny who spoke first.

  “Enjoy your vacation, Beauty. Have fun.” Her gaze darted to Breeze. “She’ll be safe, right? You promised.”

  “She will. A very nice male is going to escort her there and he’ll keep her safe.”

  Tiny shuddered a little and Halfpint stepped to her side to hold her hand. She looked nervous but obviously forced a smile. “We will miss you but we know you need some freedom.”

  Beauty walked over and hugged the duo. They didn’t understand why she wanted to leave the safety of the dorm but the fact that they accepted it meant a lot to her. “I’ll be back before you notice I’m gone.”

  They both appeared doubtful of that but they quickly hid their emotions. “I’m sure that’s true,” Tiny whispered. “Be careful of the male.”

  “Let’s not have any of that,” Breeze ordered sternly. “He’s a good male and he’s Species.” She strode toward the front doors. “Come on, Beauty. You have a flight to catch.”

  She released her friends, trying not to allow their worried stares make her wary of leaving. The concept of seeing and spending time with Shadow excited her a lot. He wasn’t angry if he’d agreed to be her escort. She’d be able to get to know the man better. No fear inched up her spine over the thought of living in close quarters with him. He hadn’t tried to molest her in any way when they were alone at the equipment building.

  Breeze dumped her bag into the back of a golf cart and took the wheel. “This is going to be great but I put a cell phone in your bag just in case you want to call me on the sly if you get hung up.”

  “The sly?”

  “You know, if you find yourself at a loss in a situation. My number is programmed in. You remember what you were taught about how to use them, right? Dial me if you need advice, okay? Day or night.” She threw the small engine in gear and they sped away from the dorm. “I’ll keep my phone close, even in the shower. I’ve got your back.”

  Beauty grinned. “I’m really glad you’re my friend but I’m cool.”

  Breeze turned the wheel and drove them toward the helicopter pad. “Am I rubbing off on you with my mad human slang?” She chuckled.

  “I learned it from my guards. It’s Species talk that I find difficult to adjust to and speak.”

  Breeze slowed the cart to a stop and stared at her. “Like what?”

  “Male, female, human, and I have a feeling the term ‘share sex’ might be a new one I have to learn.”

  “Don’t feel pressured to do anything with Shadow. He doesn’t expect it. You know that, right? He probably hopes I’m wrong about you being sexually curious.”

  Beauty’s cheeks heated. “You told him that?”

  “I did.” There was no regret in Breeze’s direct stare. “He had a right to know and it involves him in case you do want to experiment. This will avoid him being shocked or thinking you are having a miscommunication. It happens with our males when you attempt subtlety. That’s why I suggested getting naked and telling him exactly what you want. He won’t be confused.”

  Beauty let it sink in that Shadow was aware of her inner turmoil and that he had become the focus of it. She was attracted to him and hoped that something might happen between them. She longed to know what her neighbors experienced when they had visitors. She decided to be direct.

  “I’m not like you, Rusty or Kit.”

  “That’s obvious and it’s not just your size.”

  She pondered if that was an insult but saw no disdain in Breeze’s expression. “I don’t want to go from man to man if I do this. I want to only get to know one.”

  “I respect that. Our males can be dominating. Just remember that and don’t allow him to rule you. They are bigger but there’s a saying that applies. Remember it—‘the bigger they are, the harder they fall’.”

  Beauty quietly considered her words. She hesitated to get out when they parked, studying her friendf “What if something happens and I want to keep him?”

  Eyebrows lifted. “Get naked and stay that way. He won’t leave.” She smiled. “They are hard to toss out of bed so if you don’t try, I doubt he will go anywhere.”

  Beauty smiled. “You make it sound so easy.”

  “It is.” Breeze hoisted her bag. “There he is. He’s totally staring. That’s a male who notices you. He doesn’t have a chance if you take off your clothes. Just wait until you’re sure.”

  “I will,” she promised softly, turning her head to gaze around until she found the tall man with short blond hair. He stood in uniform next to the helicopter and appeared as nervous as she felt.

  “Gift wrapped,” Breeze chuckled.

  “What?” Beauty tore her attention from Shadow to glance her way.

  “Nothing. Let’s go. The blades are starting and the pilots hate wasting fuel.”

  Chapter Five

  The cabin rested in thick woods and Beauty couldn’t help but openly stare at all the trees. The tops of them nearly blocked out the blue sky surrounding the small clearing where the two-story structure had been built. Her tongue darted out to lick her lips as the Jeep halted.

  “This is your stop.” Jaded, the council member, refused to glance her way. He had spoken only to Shadow since he’d picked them up from the heliport but she knew he wasn’t being rude. He meant to avoid frightening her by addressing her directly. “It’s been stocked with everything you could possibly need and there’s a set of satellite phones inside. We left two in case something happens to one.” He paused. “You can get cell phone reception usually but sometimes it is sporadic. Call the Reservation number if you need emergency assistance.” His voice lowered. “We have females on duty around the clock just in case.”

  “In case of what?” Beauty spoke for the first time since Shadow had lifted her inside the helicopter. The ride had terrified her but he had held her hand silently during the flight.

  Startling, bright-green eyes flashed her way for a few heartbeats before he glanced at Shadow. “In case you need a female, Beauty.”

  That translates to “in case I freak out”, she guessed. “It will be fine. Shadow won’t hurt me. I know I’m safe.”

  Shadow slid out of the Jeep and reached for her. “Allow me to help you down.”

  She rose from the backseat and strong hands gripped her hips and he lifted her slowly over the edge until she stood on her feet on the dirt road. He released her immediately to grab their belongings.

  “Thank you, Jaded. I am certain we will be fine as long as there
is food. I’ve learned how to cook thanks to the task force. They were very helpful while I lived at their headquarters.”

  The other man chuckled. “I bet they were. The ones I’ve met say they married their jobs. Not having access daily to cafeterias such as we have would make them eager to learn to prepare their own meals. They’d starve otherwise.” His humor faded. “Call if there’re any issues that arise. We’re all here to help.”

  Beauty refused to wince despite the strong urge. She had a sneaking suspicion that everyone at the NSO had been made aware she might be interested in pursuing a physical relationship with Shadow. It was embarrassing and uncomfortable for so many to know what should be private. She ducked her chin to hide the blush on her cheeks and turned to face the cabin.

  The Jeep left and the sounds of the river could be heard once the engine faded away. Birds sang and the treetops whispered from the wind. It was a peaceful place she looked forward to enjoying for the next two weeks.

  “This way.” Shadow carried their bags as he led the way to the front door.

  She rushed after him. “I’ll get the door.”

  He paused and she ignored his frown as she shoved the door open. Shadow jerked his head to indicate she should go first. Curiously, she did just that.

  The inside had rustic charm with log walls and what appeared to be handmade furniture created mostly from natural products. A smile curved her lips. “How pretty!”

  “Brass said the Wild Zone residents made most of this.” He stared at the coffee table someone had painstakingly sanded from a thick log cut in half, the insides of it smoothed and flattened to a level surface. “Nice work.”

  “The couch is nice too.” She stepped closer. “More logs with large cushions. How clever.”

  “The bedrooms should be upstairs. I was told there are two. You should pick which one you want.”

  She spun around to stare at him. Nerves made her heart flutter. Half of her wished to invite him to share a room with her but she wasn’t brave enough to ask. “It doesn’t matter.”

  Broad shoulders shrugged. “I’ll give you whichever is nicest. I’ll return immediately.”

  He fled for the stairs and she watched him disappear. She resisted the urge to follow. The bad thing about being segregated from Species men was her lack of knowledge on how to speak to them. She moved through the lower floor to explore the open space. It consisted of a living room divided from the kitchen by a bar with stools. There was a small bathroom with only a toilet and sink.

  Shadow returned without their things. He avoided her gaze.

  “I am going outside to learn the area. Stay inside until I’m sure it is safe.”

  “No one will hurt us here.”

  That got his attention. “You’re female and I’m not sure I trust that some of the males won’t be curious to see you. Brass told me to do a few things to ensure they know what boundaries not to cross.”

  “Boundaries?”

  “I need to mark the area around the house just to make certain they are aware I am here.”

  “You brought signs?”

  He dropped his gaze to the floor and strode for the door quickly. “Stay inside.”

  He was gone before she could ask another question. He hadn’t been carrying anything. She walked to the window and watched him disappear to the left of the cabin. She spun and rushed for the stairs, hoping for a view from the second floor to see what he was up to.

  The bedrooms were small but she barely noted the details as she rushed through the one that would hopefully give her a view of Shadow. The curtains were open and she spotted him walking through trees. He paused at one point with his back to her and her jaw dropped open as he reached for the front of his pants. While she couldn’t see him exposed, she guessed he was peeing on a tree.

  I need to mark the area. His words sank in and she backed away from the window before he caught her watching him. He’d meant that literally—he was marking the area as an animal would. It floored her.

  Species aren’t like humans, she reminded herself. Her gaze landed on the bed to see Shadow’s bag sitting neatly on the lower end of it. She was inside his room. The bed was a big one with a headboard and footboard made of sturdy branches.

  She went to the other bedroom, which had an identical bed to his, and began to unpack, making sure not to get too close to the window in the event Shadow saw her. She didn’t want him to know she’d spied.

  The dresser had obviously been bought. She neatly stored her clothing inside. The bathroom would be shared by them. It had a door on each side, connecting their rooms. No locks had been placed on either door. He could enter at will.

  She stared at the shower with the clear glass doors. There would be no privacy if he walked in on her. It went both ways though. She could catch him while he bathed if they weren’t careful to listen before entering to make sure the bathroom wasn’t already occupied.

  The door downstairs opened and closed. Beauty went in search of him immediately. He was crouched in front of the fireplace when she returned to the lower level, studying it. She knew he was aware of her since the steps creaked slightly under her feet.

  “Did you mark the area?”

  “Yes.” He didn’t glance at her. “They will be aware I am here and will stay back from the cabin.”

  They’ll smell him. She didn’t say it aloud. “I’m not afraid of them. They are Species.”

  “They don’t see many females unless they venture into the more populated sections of Reservation. I don’t want them to be tempted to come here to meet you. Some of them aren’t stable.”

  “Would they attack me?”

  He rose to his full height and turned toward her. Indecision was clear on his features about giving her an answer. It irritated her. She deserved the truth.

  “Please be honest. Do you think I’m in danger from them? I’m primate. Does that make a difference? I’ve heard most of them are canine and feline. I watch television and have read many books since my release. Are they so untamed that they will wish to hunt me? They have predator instincts, right? I’m aware of the food chain in the animal kingdom.”

  “You’re female.”

  “And? Does that mean I couldn’t stand a chance of surviving if one of them came after me?” She couldn’t see winning that fight either since men were so much stronger.

  “It means they wouldn’t wish to hunt you.” He walked away into the kitchen to wash his hands.

  She stared at his back and allowed his words to sink in. “Sex?”

  He visibly stiffened as he shut off the water. “Yes.” He dried his hands on a towel and opened the fridge to inspect the contents. She couldn’t see his face. “Don’t worry. I’m here and none of them will get close to you. Just don’t go outside without me there to protect you in case one of them is brazen enough to cross the boundary lines I set.”

  “Shadow?” She said his name softly, wishing he’d quit avoiding her.

  He slowly closed the door and turned his head until his blue gaze found her. “Yes?”

  “You could just tell me that. Are you afraid one of them will seek me out to offer to share sex?”

  “No. I’m afraid one of them might try to grab you and take you home with him. I warned Brass that I am not good at tracking. I have a keen sense of smell but I’m not used to the woods. It might take time to find you. Don’t go anywhere without me. I want you to promise you’ll lock yourself in the cabin if trouble arises. I’ll handle it.”

  “I promise.” She didn’t want to be kidnapped. “Would they hurt me if that were to happen?”

  “They know you’re Gift but some of them aren’t right in their heads. They wouldn’t realize the emotional trauma they caused and might attempt to urge you strongly into sharing sex.”

  “Seduction?”

  His eyebrows rose in surprise. “Yes.”

  “I told you, I read.” She hugged her chest. “I wasn’t aware felines or canines did that when they were interested in a wo
man. Usually they try to impress one by other means instead of carrying her off.”

  “It’s the human in us.” He took a step closer but paused. “That’s the part that makes us go after and take something if we want it badly enough. You’re a temptation to a lonely male.” His gaze lowered. “You are attractive. Small. You couldn’t fight back well and they’d be eager to protect you.”

  “Protect or seduce?”

  “Both.”

  “What about your instincts? What do you think when you look at me?”

  He cleared his throat and turned away. “Are you hungry? I could fix us sandwiches.”

  “Shadow?”

  He opened the fridge. “They really stocked it well. There is enough lunchmeat here to feed an army.” He closed it and jerked open the freezer side. “It’s mostly full of meat. I’ll thaw some steaks for dinner. I’m a good cook. Do you enjoy your meat fully cooked or just seared?”

  “Fully cooked. You’re not going to answer my question, are you?”

  “No. I am not. I’m here to protect you.”

  “No, you aren’t going to answer that question about your instincts or you aren’t going to be tempted to seduce me?” She was stunned that she’d spoken her thoughts but didn’t regret it. She wanted to know where he stood on the issue.

  Shadow smothered a growl. The female should be timid but she acted as if she were a female officer with her blunt questions. They made him feel uncomfortable, though he admired her courage. He slammed the freezer closed and cut his gaze her way as he placed the frozen meat on the counter.

  The expression on her face sliced his heart a little. She appeared fragile and a little frightened. “You are safe with me. My instincts are in check.”

  She squeezed her chest a little tighter—he didn’t miss that fact or anything else about her. Her breathing quickened and her eyes were wider. She appeared ready to bolt and he tried to seem less threatening as he took a step back.

  “I know you wouldn’t do anything harmful to me.”

  “Your body language implies otherwise.”

  “I’m not used to speaking to men. I’m just nervous.”