Fake Girlfriend

by Berri Fox

  “I just wanted to remind you that I need to leave in between kids’ corner readings so I can pick up Liam and Lucas from school.”

  “That’s fine.” She must notice the uncertainty on my face, because she adds, “How are you holding up?”

  “I’m good,” I lie.

  “I know it can’t be easy. Having your life turned completely upside down. It’s a big job raising kids. Even when you’ve had time to plan ahead, it can take a toll mentally and physically. When you don’t have any preparation time and they’re just dropped in your lap suddenly…” She lets the sentence hang in the air, unfinished.

  “We’ll be okay,” I whisper.

  “If you need any help, please don’t hesitate to ask. We’re all here for you.”

  “Thank you,” I say, but I don’t want to unload my problems on her. She has her own set of struggles to deal with. All of us here at the bookstore are struggling in one way or another. It wouldn’t be fair for me to burden the others with my mess of a life.

  As the kids filter into the shop, their happy faces and laughter send slices of pain through my chest. I can’t help but to envy the mothers and nannies that come in with them. They all appear so happy, so unburdened. None of them are struggling the way I am.

  Four

  Lucille

  D riving back to the bookstore, I feel like I’m on autopilot. Shock doesn’t even begin to describe the emotions warring within me after the meeting with the lawyers.

  When I pull into an empty parking space near the far corner of the building, I’m surprised to see that I’ve made it here in one piece. I should be concerned with the damage I might have caused driving in such an absent-minded state, but I can’t bring myself to care.

  I want to be sad about my father’s death. I am sad…I think, but I’m having trouble accessing the emotion. It’s like I can see it right in front of me, but when I reach out, my fingers slip through it and it disappears.

  So many years have passed since the last time I saw him. Long years. It was hard in the beginning, but at some point, I took all the pain, all the heartbreak, all the lost love, and wrapped it up. Sealed it away in a nice little box so that I could keep on living.

  I tried so hard to get him to love me, to accept me, for who I am. The fact that he finally came around before he died…I don’t know how to process that. There’s so much that we missed out on, so much wasted time, and now it’s too late.

  Pulling down the visor, I flip the mirror open. My grey eyes are too big, the shock of this morning’s events playing like a storm through the irises and in the crease of my brow. I run my fingers through my hair in an attempt to tame the unruly tresses, before freshening my lipstick and plastering on a fake smile. No one is going to believe that I’m okay.

  Unfolding myself from the car, I slowly trudge across the parking lot. My body feels heavy, foreign, as if it’s no longer my own. The weight of my father’s decision, the stipulations he expects me to abide by, feel impossible.

  It’s as if I’m standing at the base of a sheer, vertical mountain. The top disappears behind the clouds above, and I’m expected to scale it with no equipment, no support, no help. I can’t do it.

  The first thing I notice as I walk in the door is the large group of kids that sit on the carpeted area of the children’s section. They’re staring mesmerized, as Sara reads animatedly. A small sense of comfort sweeps over me.

  Sara is nothing short of amazing, despite her small stature. Her head is framed by a mass of auburn curls and her brown eyes sparkle like twin quartz gemstones.

  Her face holds all the shock, excitement, and innocence of the story in her hand. She changes her voice to match the characters in the story, a high-pitched princess, a gravelly evil witch.

  Her movements are choreographed to bring the entire thing to life and keep the kids suspended on the edge of their seats. I find myself stepping forward, eager to hear the next words coming from her full lips.

  There’s something about Sara that draws me in. I’ve been crushing on her since the first day she started working here. She’s so adorable and kind.

  More than that, though, I admire how hard she works. There’s always a spark that lights up her eyes as she’s reading, despite whatever turmoil’s the world throws at her. It can’t be easy raising two boys on her own, and I’m humbled by her determination.

  “You know, your eyes get this hazy, faraway look in them, and your mouth hangs open, just a tad when you stare at her. I’m waiting for the drool to start dribbling down your chin.” Cody’s voice breaks through my thoughts, and I turn my head towards the register.

  “I’m just saying,” she continues coyly, deliberately brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

  I roll my eyes, untempted by the bait. Cody is always trying to get under my skin. For some reason she thinks it’s hot when I’m mad at her. I won’t pretend to understand why that is.

  She must see something on my face that tells her I’m not in the mood for games right now because her tone softens. “Sara is having a really bad time lately. When she came in today, she looked like she’d been crying for hours and still had more tears readily available.”

  That news sends pangs of grief pulsing through me. The thought of Sara hurting or being sad is unacceptable to me. If there was some way I could make her feel better, help her, and then, a lightbulb goes off in my head. Of course!

  Hovering on the outskirts of the kids’ corner, I wait for Sara to finish her reading. It’s easy to see why the kids love her and why she’s so good at her job. I notice Rachel watching me from the office door, but I ignore her. She doesn’t need to know what my plan is.

  When Sara gets up, and all the small bodies have filtered from the room, I walk up to her. “Hi, Sara. Can I talk to you for a minute? I have a proposition I’d like to make.”

  Her face is uncertain, maybe even a little skeptical, but she agrees, anyway. I lead her down to the basement so that we won’t be heard by the prying eyes and ears of the girls we work with. I’m sure they’ll find out soon enough, but there’s no need to give them the opportunity to voice their opinions, just yet.

  “I had a meeting with my father’s lawyers this morning. It seems he passed away recently.” I begin.

  “Oh dear, I’m so sorry.” Her face is filled with so much sympathy and I remember that her sister’s passing is why she’s raising two boys on her own in the first place.

  “We actually weren’t close,” I say, determined to get this out before I have the chance to lose my nerve. “He was never willing to accept my sexuality, and essentially disowned me.”

  Her face fills with shock and concern, and she reaches out to squeeze one of my hands.

  “Apparently, before his death, he had a change of heart. He left his entire fortune to me. The will stipulates, however, that in order to get everything, I have to be in a stable relationship, with plans to have children and carry on the family line.”

  I take a deep breath and meet her gaze. “I was wondering if you would be willing to pretend to be my girlfriend. There’s an Easter celebration that my family has every year and that’s when I would need to introduce you to them.” I avoid mentioning that my entire family is homophobic.

  “I don’t…know what to say,” she says cautiously.

  “I would pay you for your time and trouble, of course.”

  Five

  Sara

  D id I just hear this lady correctly? It sounded to me like she asked me to pretend to be her girlfriend for pay. To think that I was feeling sympathetic for her.

  Lucille looks like she’s holding something back as she shrugs. “My family would be thrilled to see me with such a beautiful woman.”

  My face burns with embarrassment and I’m glad we’re talking in the basement so nobody can the words that just came out of her mouth. “Are you insane? I know we've known each other for a while, but that’s the most ridiculous thing you've ever said."

  “That’s why it’
s called pretending. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, just smile and nod and tell everyone what a great girlfriend I am so I can get my inheritance.”

  Not only do her words anger me, but I also feel taken advantage of. Perhaps the only reason Lucille was being so kind to me was so she could use me for her little plan. “I don’t even know what to say, but now I know you’re crazy.”

  “Just say yes.” Lucille corners me against a wall, the edges of her lips turning up into a smile as her hand moves to rest on the wall beside my head. She looks sort of attractive as the dim light flickers in her grey eyes.

  I shake the thought away instantly as I regain my self worth. “No! Absolutely not, I have to leave.”

  Disappointed, she drops the arm beside my head and frowns. “Come on, don’t be like that. I didn’t mean any offense.”

  “I have to pick the kids up. Let’s just pretend this conversation never happened.”

  “Alright go get your kids.” A flicker of desperation washes over Lucille’s face before she regains her icy disposition. “But if you change your mind the offer is still open.”

  “It’s never going to happen. I know you wouldn’t stoop so low as to offer me money for a fake relationship.” With more confidence than I’ve ever had in my life, I push past Lucille and head up the stairs.

  Before I completely storm out, I see the shame on Lucille’s face. She doesn’t say anything, and she doesn’t try to stop me. If I didn’t know her better, I would say she was sorry for even posing the question to me in the first place.

  I can’t contain my anger as I get into my car and pull onto the highway. “The nerve of that woman!” I yell to myself, my grip around the steering wheel tightening.

  Lucille’s heart wrenching story about her father and the will almost had me fooled. It aggravates me that I fell for it, and I urge myself to calm down for the sake of my nephews. The day has taken its toll on me but I know seeing them will make everything better.

  I park in front of the school and hurry in, the anticipation of holding my little angels in my arms pushing me to burst through the doors.

  Just as Lucas and Liam’s classroom comes into sight, a woman I vaguely recognize comes barreling towards me. “Oh thank goodness, Ms. Hamilton. We need you in the classroom down the hall right away.”

  I realize the woman is one of the teachers, and her worried expression has me concerned. “Is everything alright, are the boys hurt?” I ask, beginning to think the worst.

  “Well, they aren’t exactly hurt. But they’ve gotten into quite a bit of trouble.” She points me to the classroom, where the twins are pouting in a makeshift time out corner.

  My face pales when I realize the condition they are in. Lucas is sitting across from a taped up window with a scowl on his face and scratches on his hands, while Liam is sitting beside him with dried dirt in his hair. His best trousers are now tattered and stained with mud.

  “We’ve cleaned them up the best we could.” The young teacher looks worse for wear herself, and I can tell she’s struggling to divulge the details of the twin’s hectic afternoon.

  “What happened here?” I rush over to the children and gather them into my arms. “What did you two do?”

  “Everything was going well until recess.” The teacher starts, coming over to sit on top of a desk as she speaks. “Lucas had a temper tantrum and threw a baseball through the classroom window, and Liam decided to make his own mud puddle to play in.”

  My eyes go wide and I stare at the woman incredulously. “Don’t teachers supervise the kids during playtime?”

  She suddenly becomes stern, crossing her arms. “Ma’am, we had four teachers on supervision duty and not one of them could control your wild nephews. They’ve destroyed school property for goodness sakes!”

  “It was an accident auntie.” Lucas looks up at me with his big brown eyes, but despite his cuteness I can see that he’s lying. They only call me auntie when they’re trying to trick me.

  “Yeah auntie, it was an accident.” Liam tries to support his brother, but he bursts out in a fit of giggles as he tries to hide his crossed fingers. “We didn't mean it, Mrs. Erica."

  “What did auntie say about telling lies?” I heave a sigh as I address the boys, realizing that I’m going to have to pay for the damages myself. “I hope you’re getting used to time out because there’s going to be much more of it once we get home.”

  “Frankly Ms. Hamilton, I think this situation requires a bit more than time out.” Erica shakes her head. “This isn’t the first time they’ve acted out, and it’s extremely concerning to the staff.”

  “Are you telling me how to raise my boys?” I snap, realizing that even though the boys have gotten into trouble, they’ve been through a lot. Losing my sister was tough, but I can’t even imagine how they feel without their mother.

  “I think someone has to. I realize you have a lot on your plate after taking in your sister’s orphaned children.”

  I grip Liam and Lucas closer as she says those words, lucky that they’re too preoccupied with the time out chairs to comprehend what Erica just said. “Be careful what you say in front of them, I've told them, but they don't fully understand.”

  “Explain what, aunt Sara?” Lucas rubs his eyes, looking up from playing with the bean bag chair.

  “Nothing darling. Here, play with this.” I spot a toy in the corner and hand it to him.

  Erica narrows her eyes. “That may be the problem, they haven’t had time to properly process their mother’s death. They’re acting out because of it, and honestly, the other teachers and I aren’t sure they have the best home environment.

  My heart drops. “Excuse me?”

  She turns away, pulling out a letter addressed to me. “We’ve taken the liberty of calling social services. Expect a visit within the next few days, all of the information is in this letter.”

  I’m utterly shocked. I’m speechless, and I take time to stare in disbelief at Erica, the letter, and the boys.

  Erica senses my distress, and changes her tactic as she tries to reassure me. “We aren’t trying to disrupt your home or take the boys away. You have to understand, they’ve caused a lot of trouble here and we just want to make sure they’re settling in at your house.”

  Despite her efforts to calm me down, I only feel more hopeless and upset. “Lucas, Liam, let’s go we’re leaving.” I can’t bring myself to reply to Erica, so I grab the kids and lead them outside.

  “What’s wrong Aunt Sara?” Liam notices the tears as they stream down my face. “We didn’t mean to make you cry we were just having fun.”

  Lucas takes the opposite stance, becoming even more rambunctious. Instead of getting into the car calmly like his brother, he stomps his feet and begins to shout. “No, I’m not going home!”

  After buckling Liam in, I wipe my tears away angrily and try to get Lucas to calm down. “Honey, you two have already caused enough trouble. Please be good for auntie and get in the car.”

  “No!” He sticks his tongue out at me and refuses to comply. I look up to the sky, silently wondering if my sister would be disappointed in me.

  “I’m going to count to three.” I’m pulling out all the old tricks, but they don’t seem to be working.

  Lucas takes a big breath, his little chest puffing up before he lets out a scream. “I want my mommy! I don’t want her to be dead and I don't want to go home with you!”

  I feel as if the wind has been knocked out of me. I never saw myself becoming an instant mom and losing my sister, but this is my life now and I have to make the best of it. “Lucas honey, we've talked about this, please get into the car.”

  I think Lucas finally notices the tears on my cheeks, and his little face softens.

  “I miss her too, baby. Your mom trusted me to take care of you, you wouldn’t want her to be sad too. We have to work together so we can both be people she would be proud of.”

  He takes a bit of time to process my words, and
eventually slides into the car. I take his head into my hands and place a small kiss against his hair as he begins to shed tears as well.

  “It’s all going to be alright you two. I promise.” Just as I finish buckling them both in, my phone rings.

  “Hi Sara, it’s Rachel. I hope I’m not reaching you at a bad time.” It’s the hiring manager from work.

  She couldn’t have called at a worse time, with Lucille’s odd offer and the disaster at the school. Part of me is already concerned that she called since I haven’t heard from her since the day I got hired. “Hi, how can I help you?”

  The other line is silent before she takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry to say, but your manager reported a problem with your paychecks. They were two dollars out and he’s concerned you’ve stolen from the diner.”

  My hands fly to my forehead as an intense ache starts to form. This cannot be happening. “There must be some mistake, I’ve done everything by the book there’s no way my checks could be wrong.”

  Rachel’s voice is sympathetic but serious. “I’m sorry Ms. Hamilton, your manager has shown me the accounting records and there’s no fighting this. Unfortunately we have no choice but to let you go.”

  “Wait, I need this job! I have two small children now, I need to work!” The boys are quiet in the back seat, both of them leaning in to hear my conversation.

  “Sorry.” Rachel hangs up without another word, and I’m left without any hope. I’ve lost my sister, I’m about to lose the boys, and now I’ve lost my job.

  I look at them in the rearview mirror, and their concerned faces make me desperate to provide for them. Without a job, I only have one option. “Let’s go home,” I sigh, preparing myself to stoop to new lows as I drive away.

  Six

  Lucille

  I ’m such an idiot. Why did I have to go and ruin everything with Sara by offending her? I should have known offering to pay her to lie wasn’t the best way to approach the subject.