Somerset

by Aaron Oster

  He felt that he should have been bothered by the fact that someone had tampered with his body and mind, but then again, he probably should have expected it. Had he thought that there was just a magic screen popping up in his vision that no one else could see? Of course it was all in his head.

  Sam kicked open the first door he came to, finding that it was occupied by a large wooden tub.

  Who knew monsters liked to bathe?

  It was only then that he took a good look at himself. His clothes were caked in blood, dirt and who knew what else. He guessed that he smelled about as bad as he looked.

  A bath it is, then.

  Walking over to the tub, he was glad to see that it was the same setup as back home. Two knobs and a spout. Thank the dumbass Overlord for small favors , he thought, turning the two knobs until he got the correct temperature. Yet another thing that just didn’t add up. Why would a medieval farmer-siren and her familiar have a working bathtub?

  Sam decided that from now on, he would stop wondering about these things, as they would probably just drive him crazy. Instead, he put a stopper into the bottom of the tub, and headed to find the bedroom. After opening two more doors, a closet and toilet, he finally found what he was looking for. Sam hadn’t really been sure what to expect of a monster’s bedroom, but he was pleasantly surprised at what he saw.

  A small, tidy bed was tucked against one corner of the room, and a dresser sat across it. There was a tall mirror against one wall, and against the other was what he was looking for.

  “Jackpot!” Sam yelled, walking quickly over to the small chest set against the far wall.

  Rubbing his hands together, he squatted down and quickly flipped the lid open. To say that what he saw was disappointing would have been a stretch. A plain blue denim shirt, a pair of thick black pants, some boots and a small leather bag. That was it.

  He was about to slam the lid shut, when he reminded himself where he was.

  He was in a world like a video game. That meant that there were no useless items.

  Quickly removing the clothes, he used his Inspect skill.

  ITEMS FOUND!

  Name: Farmer’s Canvas Shirt Durability: 28/30

  Rarity: Common Quality: Good Armor: +2

  Name: Farmer’s Canvas Pants Durability: 27/30

  Rarity: Common Quality: Good Armor: +2

  Name: Farmer’s Leather Boots Durability: 40/40

  Rarity: Common Quality: Sturdy Armor: +3

  You have found a full set of Farmer’s Clothing.

  Set Bonus: +1 Strength & Endurance

  “Sweet!” Sam exclaimed, now glad that he hadn’t tossed them away out of hand.

  He was also glad to finally have some gear with an armor bonus. Plus it was a set, and it gave him extra attribute points that he desperately needed.

  Sam decided to leave them off for now and only put them on after his bath. Lifting the small leather bag from the floor, he hefted it in his hand, then turned it over. Nothing came out.

  So much for striking it rich .

  ITEM FOUND!

  Name: Spatial Wallet Durability: 200/200

  Rarity: Epic Quality: Enhanced This pouch can be used to hold all of your coins, and jewels; beware of placing anything else inside as it will not come back out.

  Contents: 18 Copper, 63 Silver, 8 Gold, 1 Uncut Jade

  Sam gaped, eyes going wide.

  It looked like he’d struck the mother load of loot! It wasn’t exactly a bag of holding, but he could keep a small pouch like this hidden anywhere. And the amount of money was amazing!

  He quickly stuck his hand inside and thought of retrieving a gold coin. A second later, he felt something cool and smooth land in his palm. Removing his hand from the bag, Sam saw that a heavy gold coin sat in the center of it. Pinching it between his fingers, he could see a picture of a crown stamped on one side, and a stylized O on the other.

  Any takers on what the ‘O’ stands for? he sarcastically thought to himself.

  Placing the coin back into the bag, he next thought of retrieving the

  Uncut Jade , and a smooth green stone appeared in his hand.

  ITEM FOUND!

  Name: Uncut Jade Durability: 79/80

  Rarity: Rare Quality: Sturdy

  That’s it? No description of how much it was worth or anything?

  Sighing, Sam dropped the stone back into the bag and tucked it into his shirt.

  He would be taking this with him. He still wasn’t actually sure how money worked in Somerset. A gold coin could be completely worthless, for all he knew.

  Deciding to ask Gordon in the morning, Sam went back to the bathroom and stripped out of his nasty, gore smeared clothes. As he soaked in the hot bath, feeling the accumulated filth of the day washing off, he decided that life might not be so bad here after all.

  8

  “Good morning, Sam! Come on, get up. We have a busy day ahead.”

  Sam groaned, rolling over in the comfortable bed and waving his hand at the annoying voice.

  “Jus’ five more minutes, I promise,” he mumbled sleepily. Greg was probably trying to wake him for some class.

  “None of that. We have a schedule to keep and a Mayor to meet!”

  Sam felt a heavy weight land on him, and slowly cracked his eyes open. It took him a few seconds to recognize that there was a large black and brown dog sitting on his chest.

  When had Greg gotten a dog?

  “Ah, I see that you are finally up. Very good,” the dog said.

  “Holy shit! A talking dog!” Sam exclaimed, his mind still half-addled from sleep.

  DIVINE CURSE

  You have broken a rule, and have been struck by a divine curse.

  Effect: Total Strength Attribute Halved Duration: H 6: M 59: S 59

  “Gaahhhh!” Sam screamed in rage, surprising Gordon so much that he actually leaped off the bed, as it all came back to him.

  “I was only doing you a favor. No need to shout,” Gordon said, sticking his nose up in the air and heading to the door, tail rigid as an iron bar.

  “Wait, Gordon! I’m sorry, just had a bit of a shock,” Sam quickly said. He still had questions and didn’t need his only source of information giving him the silent treatment.

  The dog stopped, turning his head back to look at him. Then he dipped his head ever so slightly and continued out of the room.

  Sam blew out a relieved breath, then rose from his bed. Almost immediately, he swayed, feeling the effect of the divine curse. If I ever get my hands on that damned Overlord…

  He blew out a long breath. If he ever met the Overlord, he would probably die. It also didn’t help his mood, that his only way out of here was to kill said Overlord.

  Moving around the room, Sam quickly dressed in the new Farmer’s Clothes , more than a little surprised that they fit him so well. As soon as the boots were on, he felt his Strength increase and let out a relieved sigh that he would be strong enough to walk around without too much trouble. Picking up the Spatial Wallet, Sam bounced it on his palm a few times, trying to figure out where to put it.

  Shrugging to himself, he stuffed it down his shirt, tucking it into the waistband of his pants and adjusted it until the bulge was no longer visible. That should keep it safe. Probably.

  Heading into the kitchen, Sam let out a low whistle. It had been dark in the house during last night’s fight, so he hadn’t really been able to tell the extent of the damage. Now that it was light, he could see that it was a complete wreck! Furniture lay in splintered ruins, cutlery lay scattered about, and clay bowls lay shattered all over the floor.

  The only thing that was missing was the corpse of the siren.

  Maybe dead monsters got absorbed back into the world? He would have to ask Gordon about this later.

  “It was one hell of a party, though,” Sam said, grinning at his own horrible joke.

  Gordon padded in, clutching his stick between his teeth.

  “So, how far is this town?” Sam asked, comple
tely ignoring the nasty piece of wood that the dog continued to chew on.

  “About an hour,” he replied, sharp teeth sinking into the wood, his tail swishing back and forth.

  “Right. I guess we should get going then. Now that my other divine curses have worn off, I can complete the quest without losing any XP!” His stomach growled then, reminding him that, once again, he was hungry and there was no food.

  Thinking about food made him realize how thirsty he was, and all that combined to make his okay mood turn sour.

  “This town wouldn’t happen to have somewhere I can get some food, does it?” he asked, feeling his stomach clench.

  “It would. There is a lovely inn, as well as a general goods store where you can buy some travel rations. However, you will need to procure some money if you wish to purchase these items.”

  Sam grinned.

  “I’ve got the money. Or at least, I think I do. Let’s get going, though. We can talk on the way there.”

  Gordon was on his feet in an instant and he dropped the stick, his tongue lolling out, as his tail wagged back and forth. Sam resisted the urge to snicker and walked past the dog to head out the door.

  “Not bringing the stick?” he asked as Gordon padded to his side, heading down the path to the main road.

  “I believe that it is time for a new one. I will have to hunt one down later.”

  “Not gonna offer me another quest?” Sam jokingly asked.

  “Perhaps another time,” Gordon answered as they turned onto the main road.

  They walked in silence for a few minutes, Sam enjoying the early morning sunshine and the light breeze tickling over his skin. Gordon walked slightly ahead, nose pressed low to the ground and tail wagging back and forth.

  Despite how smart he was, Gordon still acted exactly like every other dog he’d ever met, which Sam found to be extremely odd.

  Shouldn’t he act differently, since he had a brain?

  Sam decided that he didn’t care and turned his attention to more important matters, like getting his questions answered.

  “How does the currency here work? I know that there are copper, silver and gold coins, but what exactly are they worth?” he asked, speeding up slightly to walk beside the dog.

  “The currency is really quite simple. Copper is the lowest denomination of coin, and one silver is worth 100 copper coins.”

  Of course. Fantasy trope 101.

  “Silver coins are the next up, and 100 silver coins make up a gold coin.”

  “And let me guess,” Sam cut in, “is there also a platinum coin, which happens to be worth 100 gold?”

  “There is indeed a platinum coin, but it is only worth 10 gold coins.”

  Sigh.

  “After that, comes the electrum coin, which is worth 10 platinum coins.”

  “Wait, what?” Sam exclaimed, completely caught off guard by this.

  There were more coins?

  “Yes, quite fascinating. I know,” Gordon continued, completely missing the point and continuing on with his lecture. “There are 10 electrum coins to every orichalcum, 10 orichalcum to every mithril, and 10 mithril to every adamantine,” he finally finished.

  Sam clutched at his head.

  “I thought you said it was simple,” he deadpanned.

  “But it is the very simplest of currencies and easily explained.”

  “I didn’t understand it, though. Is there an easier way for you to explain?”

  “Of course!” Gordon waved a paw, and a screen popped into his vision.

  CURRENCY

  The currency in Somerset is divided up so everyone can easily use and understand how it functions. The currencies are as follows: Copper, Silver, Gold, Platinum, Electrum, Orichalcum, Mithril, Adamantite To make it easier to understand for newcomers, a chart has been created comparing your old currency to the one in Somerset.

  Copper: 1 Penny (1 Copper) Silver: 1 Dollar (100 Copper) Gold: 100 Dollars (100 Silver) Platinum: 1,000 Dollars (10 Gold) Electrum: 10,000 Dollars (10 Platinum)

  “Why aren’t the amounts for the last three mentioned here?” Sam asked as he closed the screen.

  “The highest denomination of coin you will likely ever see will be electrum. The other three only come in bars, but if you must know, then the highest denomination, adamantine, is worth 10 million of your Earth dollars.”

  “Holy crabs! Where can I get some adamantite?” Sam exclaimed as the screen winked out of view.

  “Crabs?”

  “Can’t curse, so I’m trying out some substitute words until I can,” he replied with a shrug.

  Gordon just shook his head in exasperation but answered Sam’s question all the same.

  “As I mentioned before, the last three on the list do not come in coin form, only in bars. They are mainly used by banks, guilds, or extremely wealthy individuals when moving large sums of money from place to place. Those three metals are also extremely valuable, as the most powerful weapons and items are usually made by using them.”

  “So, how hard is it to rob a bank here?” Sam casually asked.

  “If you are thinking that it will be easy, you can think again. Banks are even better guarded than the Overlord himself. You will have a better chance of defeating him in single combat, with your hands tied, than stealing from someone with that much wealth.”

  “No shirt?” Sam replied, earning him an eye roll from the dog. “Alright, fine. I’ll stop trying to replace my curse words and do my best to suppress the urge until the day is over. Are you happy now?”

  “Quite.”

  What a dick.

  “Fine, onto another topic then. How do I stop all the damage messages from showing up in the middle of a fight? They’re extremely distracting. Also, why don’t I get notified when my skills or abilities level up?”

  “The damage notifications can be turned off at any time, merely by thinking the words, ‘turn off damage notifications.’ As for your skills and abilities, you will only be notified once they rank up. You will not receive notifications for each individual level-up, however, as you will most likely amass very many skills and it would become very distracting if you receive them on a constant basis.”

  Sam immediately turned off his damage notifications, glad to get that out of the way.

  “How can I tell the time here?” he asked next.

  “Just think about the time, and a clock will appear in your vision, the same as when you use the map.”

  He did just that, noting that it was 7:34 AM. So, time in Somerset did function the same way as it did back home.

  Sam couldn’t tell if the dog was getting annoyed or not. By the way he spoke, he would think that he didn’t mind, but by the way he kept rolling his eyes, he guessed that the incessant questioning was beginning to get to him.

  “Just one last question.”

  “And what would that be, my ever curious simian?” Gordon asked.

  Yup. The dog only started calling him a simian when he was annoyed.

  “You explained the currency pretty well, but exactly how much will things cost?”

  “You will need to be a little more specific. ‘How much do things cost,’ is not exactly something I can answer with any great confidence.”

  Sam was the one to roll his eyes this time, and he did his best not to allow any anger to enter his tone as he rephrased his question.

  “Alright. How much would the average meal cost at an inn?”

  This was important because the fate of his breakfast hung in the balance.

  “The average meal would cost about one silver. It may sound a bit pricy, but keep in mind that a meal is normally provided when one pays for a room.”

  Oh, happy day! Look out, breakfast. Sam is coming in hot!

  9

  It took them another half hour to reach the town of Farmer’s Rest , by which point, Sam’s abysmal Strength had his legs feeling like jelly.

  “Finally. It’s about time!” Sam said, raising his hands over his head and archin
g his back.

  “Come now, the Mayor’s house is right this way. Follow me.”

  Straightening with a light groan, Sam followed Gordon into the town, passing under a wooden sign with the name Farmer’s Rest painted in sloppy white letters.

  He walked down a wide, dirt road, noting that people were already moving around the town, despite the early hour.

  No, it was just early for him. These people probably got up early enough to wake up their roosters.

  He noticed that a lot of them were giving him mistrustful looks and he did his best to appear as friendly as possible, waving to the townsfolk, and feeling like a complete tool while doing so.

  Gordon then took a turn off the main road, and he was thankful to able to leave all those prying eyes behind. Following the dog, he soon noticed that the road they were on was cobbled, unlike the roads they’d been traveling on until now. Looking around, he could see that only two buildings lined this smaller street. One had a few people milling about, and the other had a sign above the door that simply read Inn.

  How imaginative.

  Looking straight ahead, Sam could see a large house set at the end of the road that didn’t seem to fit the with the overall feel of the town.

  Could this perhaps be the beginning of another quest? “Corrupt mayor is an asshole; kill him and claim an epic reward!” Or something like that.

  Sam shoved down his wandering thoughts as they approached the very fancy front door, and knocked. Just a few moments later, a robust, and red-faced man answered the door. He was dressed in a red silk nightgown that did little to hide his hairy chest, a nightcap of the same color, and a pair of red silk slippers.

  Someone call Santa, I think there’s some copyright infringement going on here.

  Sam resisted the urge to laugh as that particular thought flashed through his mind. Instead, he gave the annoyed looking man his best smile.

  “Hello, my name is Sam. We have completed the quest to rid your town of monsters. We’re here for our reward.”