Somerset

by Aaron Oster

RULE OF THE DAY

  You must kill a dungeon boss (Met) Divine Boon Effect: Total HP doubled Duration: H 5 : M 28 : S 09

  Effect: +50% Increase to XP gain Duration: H 23 : M 34 : S 41

  Sam looked over his status and shook his head.

  It was getting to be such a pain to read the entire thing over every time.

  He idly wondered if there was a way to view an abbreviated version without all the abilities, skills, and items.

  So, he decided to do an experiment. He assigned 15 attribute points, then focused on seeing only the first part of his status, along with the changes he’d made. When it actually worked, he was quite surprised.

  CHARACTER STATUS (ABBREVIATED)

  Name: Sam Race: Human Level: 9

  XP: 247/5,200

  AP: 1

  Class: None HP: 120/120 (240/240) (Regen 1.2 (2.4) Per Second) MP: 400/400 (Regen 3.0 Per Second) STA: 90/90 (Regen 0.9 Per Second)

  ATTRIBUTES

  Strength: 5 (6)

  Constitution: 12 +2

  Agility: 6 (10)

  Endurance: 8 (9) +1

  Intelligence: 30 (40) +4

  Wisdom: 25 (30) +5

  Charisma: 19 +3

  Luck: 10 (20)

  After looking it over, Sam decided that from now on, he would be checking the abbreviated version, unless a whole bunch of his skills or abilities increased at once. Closing his status, Sam now noticed a very distinct difference in the way he perceived the room around him. His head swam for a moment, as every detail stood out in sharp relief. After a moment, thankfully, everything returned to normal.

  What the hell was that? he wondered.

  Turning to Emma, he saw that she’d stopped scratching Gordon and was now focused on her own status. At least, he had to assume so. Otherwise, he’d think he was sitting next to a crazy person who just liked poking at thin air.

  Rising to his feet, Sam headed over to the far wall, where the core pulsed lightly. He was about to reach out and grab it, when Gordon spoke up.

  “I would leave that core be, if I were you.”

  “Why?” Sam asked, turning to face the dog.

  “The guild would not be happy if the dungeon became inactive for the next year, because you took its core. They would likely hunt you down and kill you for such an offense.”

  “They didn’t mention anything before I came in,” Sam said.

  “That is because it is obvious to everyone who comes inside. One simply does not take the core from a guild owned dungeon.”

  Sam felt his temper beginning to rise.

  “Guild owned? Who the fuck do they think they are?”

  Gordon shrugged. Under different circumstances, that would have made Sam laugh. Now, he was just annoyed.

  Who the hell do these guild people think they are? Making people join up, taking over dungeons, and charging taxes? Hunting people down for not paying? They sounded more like a criminal enterprise than the high moral compass that Gordon made them out to be.

  “Who is the head of the guild?” Sam asked, moving away from the core.

  Gordon shrugged, but Sam was surprised to hear a different voice answer.

  “No one actually knows who it is, but rumor has it that’s he’s near level 80.”

  Sam turned a shocked expression to Baron Von Tweet, who was standing a few feet away, still munching on his piece of mango.

  “What’s with that look, bitch? You wanna go?!”

  “What the hell was that?”

  “What was what? Asshole,” the bird responded.

  “You actually gave a straight answer; before you went back to being a total dick,” Sam replied, staring the bird down.

  The bird cocked his head to the side, examining Sam with one wide red eye.

  “I am a companion. Just because I act a certain way doesn’t mean I don’t give good information. Dickwad.”

  “I feel like you’re trying too hard with this whole cursing thing,” Sam said, thinking he’d figured the bird out. “You’re not even doing it right half the time.”

  The bird blinked.

  “I’m not?”

  “No!” Both Sam and Emma answered at the same time.

  Apparently, she’d finished checking her status and had turned her attention to the conversation they were having.

  “Oh,” the bird said, shuffling and looking embarrassed. “I didn’t realize.”

  The bird looked so distraught that Sam wanted to comfort him.

  “It’s fine, Barry,” he said, stretching out a hand.

  “Wait! It’s a…” That was all the warning Sam got.

  Baron Von Tweet shot forward, lifting off the ground in an instant. The next second, Sam felt something hot and wet splatter onto his shoulder and hit his cheek. It took him a few seconds to realize what had happened, and when he did, his face turned a beet red.

  “You little shit! I’ll fucking kill you!” he screamed, aiming his wand at the bird, who was circling overhead and cackling madly.

  “You just got PONED, bitch!” the bird shrieked, deftly dodging out of the way of Sam’s wild attacks.

  “You really should learn to control your temper,” Gordon commented as Sam continued wasting his MP trying to hit the erratic bird.

  “Don’t you fucking start with me, dog! That little asshole tricked me into feeling sorry for him, then literally shat on me! You got insulted when he was using you as a perch, so don’t you even start!”

  Sam continued firing at the bird, but was eventually forced to give up once he ran out of MP. He sat down hard, panting for breath while the bird circled above, still taunting him.

  “I had the same reaction the first time he pulled something like that on me,” Emma said, squatting down next to him.

  She held out a hand, displaying a wet piece of cloth, which Sam took with a mumbled thanks. He began cleaning the bird crap off his shoulder and face, as Emma watched the bird flying around overhead with a sour expression.

  “You really lucked out when you got Gordon,” she said wistfully.

  And for the first time ever, Sam actually agreed with that sentiment.

  He finished cleaning himself off and offered the rag back to Emma, but she just laughed.

  “No thanks. It’s all yours, pal.”

  Sam grinned and just dropped the cloth to the ground.

  “Guess we should probably leave,” he said, looking around at the empty room, surprised that no one else had made it there.

  “Yeah. Don’t forget to hide your things. Otherwise, those guildies outside will take them,” Emma said, tucking her items into her bag.

  “Guildies?” Sam asked with a raised eyebrow, as Gordon rose and padded up next to him; new stick clutched between his teeth.

  “A combination of ‘cronies’ and ‘guild members,’” she replied, already heading for the exit tunnel.

  “I think this world is rubbing off on you,” Sam said, speeding up a bit to catch up with her.

  She shrugged and the two of them walked in silence until they reached the dungeon exit.

  Upon exiting, Sam looked around for the supposed ‘guildies’ that would be waiting there for them. No one was there. He could see a small barrier set up, along with an area where men would be posted, but they were nowhere to be seen.

  “Guess it’s our lucky day,” Emma said with a grin.

  “Guess so,” Sam replied, eyes already scanning their surroundings for any sign of danger.

  Something wasn’t right about this. The guild didn’t seem like the type to just let things go. Especially if they were charging 40% tax on everyone who went in.

  They walked around to the main road and began heading back in the direction of the city. Everything seemed fine. In fact, nothing seemed to be out of place at all, which was exactly why Sam was so on edge.

  “Gordon, do you smell anything?” Sam asked in a low voice.

  “I do not smell anything out of the ordinary, if that is what you mean.”

  Finally, after a few
more tense minutes of walking, Sam saw another group of people heading down the road.

  Maybe they would know what was going on.

  “Excuse me!” Sam called to the group of five heading their way.

  They were having a serious conversation apparently, because as soon as Sam called out, they all jumped and looked around with scared expressions on their faces. It was only once they looked at him, that Sam saw the copper chains around their necks. Guildies.

  The name actually wasn’t that bad. He’d probably be using it from now on.

  “How can we help you?” the man in the lead asked. Calling him a man was stretching it. He looked like he was even younger than Sam.

  “Do you know what’s going on around here?” Sam asked, putting on his most friendly smile.

  Charisma, don’t fail me now.

  “My companion and I were in the dungeon, and we couldn’t help but notice the lack of people and the absence of guards when we exited said dungeon.”

  The man’s posture relaxed and he smiled back.

  “There’s a good reason for that. Everyone ranked above silver was called into the guild hall for an emergency meeting. Not really sure why, though. We were sent out to take their places, so if you’re looking to pay the guild tax, you can hand it us.”

  “We’d be happy to!” Sam said, nudging Emma in the ribs.

  Let’s see how good an actress she is.

  Emma stepped forward and flashed the man a wide smile. Sam was happy to see that his face turned a deep scarlet. He was only glad that he’d somehow avoided becoming an embarrassed wreck around her. Maybe his Mind Over Body skill had something to do with that.

  “This is all we found, but I’ll be more than happy to hand it over to a dashing man like yourself,” she said with a wink, pulling a single gold coin from her pocket. “What’s your name, handsome?” she asked, slipping the coin into his breast pocket.

  “J-John,” the man squeaked out, face now so red that Sam began wondering if his head would explode from the amount of blood rushing into it.

  “John,” Emma said, as though testing the name. “That’s a good name. I’ll make sure and tell the guild what an excellent job you’ve done here.”

  Sam quickly turned his attention to the other four, but saw that they were all staring at John with envy and anger.

  She’s good, Sam thought, doing his best to hide the grin that was attempting to crawl its way onto his face.

  John nodded dumbly and Emma stepped back. Then she winked at him and walked straight past him, trailing a finger under his chin as she did so. Sam walked past him as well, noting with some amusement, that he was slightly hunched over.

  I feel your pain, buddy, he thought as he followed Emma down the road. He noticed that she took extra care to sway her hips as she did so, and guessed that it was for the benefit of the men watching them. They continued walking in silence, until Gordon spoke up.

  “They are no longer watching us and have instead devolved into a petty squabble about which one Emma liked the best.”

  Emma snorted out a laugh and Sam joined her.

  “Damn! You really worked that poor guy hard!” Sam exclaimed. “That was one hell of a show!”

  Emma’s cheeks colored slightly and she gave him an exaggerated bow.

  “Three years of acting classes finally amounted to something,” she said with a light laugh.

  “I would recommend you both take a step to your right,” Gordon suddenly said, cutting into their conversation.

  By this point, Sam had learned to act, rather than question, and stepped neatly to one side. Emma didn’t, giving the dog a confused look. Sam caught a flash of green and yellow, and his arm shot out, dragging Emma away, just as Baron Von Tweet swooped down and let loose with another ‘present.’

  “You’re gonna pay for that, you damn bird!” Emma yelled as the bird flew into the air, cursing away at having missed his targets.

  “Thanks for the warning, Gordon,” Sam said.

  “But of course. That bird is a menace,” he said, sticking his nose up in the air, as though the very idea of both of them being companion animals offended him.

  “Yeah. Thanks, Gordon,” Emma said, bending down to scratch him behind the ears. “And thank you, Sam, for pulling me out of the way.”

  “It was no big deal,” he replied with a shrug, trying to play it cool.

  “Don’t give me that macho crap,” Emma said with a snort.

  “Figured me out, have you?”

  “Fuck you all!”

  “Shut up, you damn bird! I’ll turn you into a Thanksgiving dinner when I get my hands on you!” Emma shouted back as the bird circled overhead.

  “We should probably get back to the city. It’ll be dark out soon and we don't wanna get locked out,” Sam said, trying to distract the obviously fuming Emma.

  “You’re staying in the city?” Emma asked, looking away from the bird and back to him.

  “Aren’t you?”

  “No. I’m actually just a few more minutes down the road. We found an abandoned cottage there. There’s food, water, and a bed, so why waste money on an inn?” she said with a shrug.

  They continued down the road until the cottage in question came into view.

  “Guess this is where we say goodbye,” Sam said awkwardly.

  He really wasn’t good at this crap. He might be okay with talking to Emma, but goodbyes were always so awkward.

  “Yeah, but I’m sure we’ll meet up again soon. Wanna run that dungeon again with me tomorrow?”

  “Sure!” Sam said, eager to stick with the only other person he’d met that was from Earth. It also didn’t hurt that she was smoking hot and pretty handy with that sword. Fighting with a team had been nice and he was eager to try and keep them together.

  Emma grinned.

  “I’ll meet you in the city tomorrow morning then. There are a few things I need to get before we go. Where are you staying?”

  “The Classy,” Sam said, rolling his eyes.

  Emma snorted out another laugh.

  “You’re serious. There’s really a place called The Classy?”

  “Unfortunately, yes,” Sam replied with a rueful grin.

  “Alright then, hot stuff. I’ll pick you up at eleven sharp.” Then she winked and walked into the house, slamming the door shut before Barry could make it inside.

  The bird gave him a pitiful look as he landed on the doorknob and tried opening it.

  26

  “What do you think of her?” Sam asked once the house was out of view.

  “I think she is quite lovely,” Gordon replied. “I do hope that you do not inadvertently drive her away.”

  Sam rolled his eyes.

  “You’re just saying that because she spoiled you today.”

  “I am merely stating a fact,” Gordon replied. “That woman is a gem, though that parrot has dreadful manners and an even worse personality.”

  Sam felt his fists involuntarily clench at the mention of the bird. Now that Emma wasn’t around to distract him, he could feel his earlier anger at what he’d done to him returning. Blowing out a long breath, Sam forced his fingers to unclench and took a few deep breaths.

  The bird wasn’t his problem. It was someone else’s.

  He did feel bad for Emma, since she’d been stuck with such a horrible companion. Gordon was practically an angel compared to that fucking monster.

  That made his thoughts turn back to Emma. She’d acted normal around him for all the time they’d spent together, so he’d thought that she just wasn’t into him that way. But then she’d made that off-handed comment, and winked at him, before heading into her house. Now he was just confused.

  He was snapped from his wandering thoughts when he heard the sound of someone shouting up ahead.

  “Let go of me, you dirty fuckers!”

  Sam gave Gordon a look, then the two of them sprinted in the direction of the voice. Running off the road, both he and Gordon crashed through the
trees, the sounds of distress growing louder and louder as they drew near.

  “Shut up, you dumb bitch! Don’t you know who we are?”

  Sam recognized that voice, but couldn’t quite place it, until he crashed through the last of the trees and stumbled into a clearing. Two men were holding down a woman and one of them was in the process of removing her top.

  They all turned to stare, as both he and Gordon emerged from the surrounding trees. Sam was forced, once again, not to facepalm at the horrible cliché. Fudge and Stork, the two comically named guildies who had tried to stop him from leaving the guild earlier that day, were pinning a dwarf woman down and very obviously attempting to have their way with her.

  Sigh.

  “Unhand her, you fiends!” Sam called out, standing straight and puffing out his chest.

  The looks on the men’s faces were priceless and Sam had to resist the urge to laugh.

  “Hey, I recognize you!” Fudge said, removing his hand from the woman’s waistband and turning to glare at him.

  Sam just shook his head at the man’s utter stupidity, then he raised his new wand and blasted him off his feet with a Mana Burn, followed closely by a Mana Shot . His new weapon, along with his Sucker Punch and Critical Strike skills, were enough to kill the man outright before he even hit the ground.

  You Deal: -80 Damage to human guild member (Mana Burn).

  You Deal: -68 Damage to human guild member (Mana Shot).

  Human guild member dies! +237 XP

  “Holy shit, that’s a lot of damage!” Sam exclaimed as the notifications flashed across his vision.

  “Hey, you killed Fudge!” Stork said, already raising his fists in anger. Gordon exploded out of the man’s shadow, surprising even Sam, and promptly tore the man’s head clean off.

  “Damn, Gordon. When did you get your class?” Sam asked as the dog landed back on the ground, a moment before the corpse did.

  “Back in the dungeon, though you didn’t care to ask.”

  “Oh, don’t get all huffy with me,” Sam said, rolling his eyes and walking over to the woman.

  She was cowering on the ground, face down, and didn’t dare look up. Sam could see that her pants had already been dragged halfway down and her shirt had been roughly torn down the back. Thankfully, her underwear still seemed to be in place, so they’d gotten here before the men had gotten a chance to do anything.