Somerset

by Aaron Oster

  Sam and Emma shared a look, then turned back to the blushing fawn woman.

  “That couldn’t have been enough to keep everyone in line though,” Emma prodded.

  “It wasn’t,” Lilly agreed. “Those that the elf couldn’t control through blackmail, she controlled through fear. You see, she’s a very powerful Mage , and can make people do what she wants. She made an example of someone who refused to listen. She…” Lilly stopped for a moment and covered her mouth, as though trying to stop herself from vomiting at the memory.

  “What did she do?” Sam asked, now becoming horrified at the type of person he’d been traveling with.

  “She made him tear his throat out with his bare hands, then forced him to eat it while he bled out on the ground.”

  Sam felt bile rising in his throat at the image and had to suppress a shudder.

  “That… is some seriously messed up shit. Can you tell me the elf’s name?” he asked, already afraid of hearing the answer.

  “Millicent, I believe he called her,” Lilly said in a quiet voice.

  Sam felt his heart sink when he heard that. He’d already known that Milly was the most likely culprit for all his misfortune, but he had no idea that she was this twisted.

  “Where will you go now?” Emma asked her.

  “Since I’m most likely presumed to be dead at this point - or going to be in the near future - I’m going to the city of Caster and letting the guild over there know of the situation. This has been our best chance of freedom yet, and I’m going to take it.”

  “But if they discover that you’re still alive, aren’t you afraid they’ll come after you?” Emma asked.

  “There’s always that chance, but I think I’ll be able to make it. Caster is only four days away and if I get enough of a head start, then I think I’ll be able to make it.”

  Sam nodded, then stuck out his hand for the woman to shake.

  “Thank you for the information. You’re free to go. I hope you make it there safely.”

  Lilly nodded, taking his hand in a surprisingly strong grip and shaking it firmly. Emma gave the girl a hug and handed her three stew rations for the road.

  “Thank you,” Lilly said, bowing at the waist to both of them. “I will not forget that you spared my life when you didn’t have to, and let me go free.” Then she turned and jogged off into the darkening forest.

  35

  “Well, I guess we know the how. Now we just need the who,” Emma said, once Lilly’s form vanished into the surrounding gloom.

  They both turned to the gnome, who was lying on the ground near the opposite edge of the clearing and sitting very still. They could both see Baron Von Tweet standing on his chest, and Sam had to wonder what the bird had done to warrant such good behavior. As they drew near, however, it became abundantly clear. The gnome’s entire face was caked in bird poop. It was on his eyes, in his hair, and plastered around his mouth.

  “Your bird is one sick fuck,” Sam whispered to Emma as they saw what the bird had done.

  “Tell me about it,” she whispered back.

  Baron Von Tweet turned to face them as they stopped before him, puffing out his feathers, and looking very pleased with himself.

  “You did an excellent job keeping him quiet,” Sam said, feeling that praise would be the best course of action right now.

  “Yes, a really good job,” Emma said, reaching into her bag and pulling out a piece of dried mango. The bird snatched it up in his beak, before taking off to perch in one of the trees.

  “Is he angry?” Sam asked in a lowered tone, just in case the bird was still listening.

  “No,” Emma whispered back. “He doesn’t take praise very well. He gets very embarrassed and flies away.”

  “Why don’t you use that all the time then?” he asked.

  He figured that it would be a great way to get rid of the bird when he was being particularly annoying.

  “He can spot false praise a mile away.”

  “But we just falsely praised him,” Sam replied, now very confused.

  Emma shrugged.

  “You must have been very convincing.”

  “Guess so.”

  They then both turned their attention to the shit covered gnome. It would be impossible to question him like this, so Sam motioned for Emma to drag him over to the small stream.

  “Eww, there’s no way I’m touching him,” Emma said, wrinkling her nose at the gnome.

  “Come on, Emma. My Strength isn’t high enough for me to lift him.”

  “Really?” Emma asked, quirking a brow. “You can’t lift a gnome that probably doesn’t weigh more than a hundred pounds?”

  Sam shrugged, then bent down and twined his fingers in the ropes around his waist. He attempted to lift the small man but had absolutely no luck. He then tried with both hands. Still nothing. He gave Emma a helpless look and the girl just rolled her eyes.

  “Really? How the hell did you manage to move all those heavy logs into the trees if you can’t even lift one gnome?”

  “Gordon did most of the heavy lifting,” Sam replied sheepishly. “I just helped him roll the logs into place.”

  Emma leaned down and wrapped the fingers of one hand into the ropes, then lifted him off the ground with apparent ease.

  Showoff.

  “You’re lucky you’re so cute. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be doing this,” she said, then turned her back on him and walked over to the stream.

  Sam just shook his head, wondering at the girl’s forward nature. She didn’t line up at all with the social norms from back home.

  Girls just didn’t act this way, especially around him. Since when had he become so cool about it? Maybe this place was affecting him more than he’d realized.

  Sam shook himself from his thoughts when Emma abruptly dropped the gnome into the water. A few seconds later, a stream of sputtering curses followed. He arrived by the stream just as Emma was hauling out the dripping wet, and now mostly clean, gnome. He was glaring daggers at both of them and tried to spit in Sam’s face as soon as he was close enough.

  Sam kicked him in the balls, and the gnome doubled up, howling in pain as Emma hauled him into a sitting position for Sam to begin questioning.

  “Now, my little gnomy friend, you’re going to tell me all about your buddy Sirus and his organization within the city.”

  “Eat shit!” Pompayous snarled, face so red that Sam could see it, even in the near darkness of the clearing.

  He was wondering how they would be continuing the interrogation if they couldn’t see, when there was a flash of sparks and a moment later, the area was illuminated by a flaming torch.

  “Where’d you get that?” Sam wondered, as Emma settled down on the ground a few feet from him.

  “The supplies shop,” she replied with a shrug. “Why, don’t you…” She trailed off, as though just remembering Sam’s total lack of any equipment.

  Sam ignored her slipup and turned his anger on the little gnome tied up before him.

  After all, he thought, this asshole is one of the ones responsible for all my lost loot, so the least I can do is pay him back a bit… Before I kill him.

  “That,” Sam said, grinning wickedly at the gnome. “Is a very interesting choice of words.”

  Pompayous’ face paled as his eyes flicked upward to the bird still perched in the tree.

  “Now, tell me what I want to know, or you can eat shit,” Sam threatened, leaning heavily on his Browbeat skill, and hoping it would do something.

  Pompayous’ eyes flicked between Sam and the bird for a few more heartbeats, before he finally broke.

  “Overlord, damn you to the abyss!” he snarled. “What the fuck do you wanna know?”

  “Everything,” Sam said, leaning in and narrowing his eyes. “And for every lie I catch, you’ll pay. Big time!”

  It only took two lies to convince Pompayous that it would be a good idea to tell the truth. Baron Von Tweet was more than happy to poop on the man’s head when
Sam asked him to and, after the second time, the gnome finally cracked. He told Sam everything. The whereabouts of Sirus’ headquarters outside the city walls, his numbers within the city, the city officials he’d bribed, as well as the average levels of his cronies. He also fished for information about the particular con that had been played on him and got a surprising amount of detail.

  Apparently, he’d been chosen as a target by Sirus’ Mage , Millicent. She had apparently done this before, but when she’d led him into the trap, he’d escaped unharmed. Millicent was then forced to improvise, and lead him to the city personally. She’d had to fabricate the whole story about being hired help, and had gone to The Classy for her cover. Class Cee was apparently being blackmailed into helping them, as were most of the businesses in the city. Quentin, the concierge, was the one keeping an eye on him, which explained why he was such an asshole. Millicent was debating outright killing him, but then as luck would have it, he’d walked right into Sirus’ shop.

  From there, Sirus had taken care of everything else. He’d paid him with fake coins, then sent a message to the guild to be extremely rude to him. After leaving, he’d had them followed to the dungeon, and set up the stunt with Aoife to get the rest of his items. It then fell to the gnome to finish him off, and dump his body.

  “But you somehow got free and managed to keep ahold of your money,” the gnome finished angrily. “It was supposed to be in your bag when Aoife took it. You could have ruined all our plans, but luckily for us, Millicent was still here. She sent us a warning that you’d survived and Quentin was ordered to contact us if you were to discover the fake coins. After that, it wasn’t too hard to get a group of guards into his shop before you came. The rest is history.”

  Sam nodded, feeling the pit in his stomach dropping even further.

  This is some seriously fucked up shit.

  “What I don’t understand, is why. Why the hell did Millicent think I would be such a perfect target? Why go through so much trouble just to get my stuff?” Sam asked.

  The gnome shrugged and a nasty smile crossed his face.

  “Beats me, but I’m sure Millicent would be more than happy to tell you. Why don’t you ask her yourself?”

  “Oh, I plan to,” Sam said, his features darkening.

  “Uh oh. Did you fall for poor Milly’s act?” Pompayous asked, his shit-eating grin growing wider.

  When Sam didn’t reply, he actually began to laugh.

  “I can’t believe you fell for it! You poor sucker! I bet she strung you along, made you believe she was in love with you, probably sold it pretty good too! Her deception is second to none, so I guess I can’t blame a country bumpkin like you to… Agghhh!”

  The gnome’s sentence cut off as Sam punched him in the face. It only did -2 damage, but it felt good all the same.

  “You piece of shit!” the gnome yelled as his head was rocked to the side.

  “I think I’ve heard enough,” Sam said, then placed his palm directly on the gnome’s face.

  “Wait, what are you doing?” he screeched, as Sam’s hand glowed blue.

  “Keeping the rules!” Sam replied, before using his Mage Bolt.

  A crackling nimbus of mana pierced right through the gnome’s eye and emerged out the other side of his head in a dispersing web of forked electricity.

  You Deal: -122 damage to Guildmaster Pompayous (Mage Bolt)(Massive Critical!) Guildmaster Pompayous dies! +644 XP

  Sam watched as the gnome’s now lifeless body slumped to the ground, then let out a massive, parent up breath.

  “Sam,” Emma said, her voice hesitant. “Are you okay?”

  Sam looked over to see her still seated a few feet from him. Her face was a mask of concern and, to Sam’s horror, pity.

  “It’s fine,” he said, shaking his head to rid himself of the angry gnome’s final words. “I’m sure everyone’s been the victim of a con or prank at some point in their lives. It’s happened to me before, so, no big deal.”

  He eyed the corpse of the gnome, his Stalker skill picking out a few small items of interest, but before he could make a move, a message popped into his field of vision.

  DIVINE BOON

  You have kept today’s rule, as such you have been granted a divine boon!

  Effect: Permanent +1 to all attributes

  Well, the rule hadn’t exactly been an easy one to keep, Sam thought as he closed the window. It only made sense that the reward would be greater if the goal was accomplished. The permanent boost to all attributes definitely helped with his bad mood.

  Emma saw his sour expression lessen and was quick to seize onto it.

  “Good reward for keeping your rule?”

  “Yeah, I got a permanent single point boost to all my attributes,” he said.

  Emma let out a low whistle.

  “Who does a girl have to kill to get a boon like that?”

  “Not fish people,” Sam replied, feeling his sour mood evaporating quickly.

  “Obviously,” Emma said with a snort. “Wouldn’t wanna get cursed again.”

  Sam chuckled lightly at that and the two of them fell into a companionable silence.

  “So,” Emma said after a few minutes. “You got any plans on how to oust Sirus and his gang?”

  Sam shook his head.

  “Not a clue, but I’m sure we’ll figure it out. For now, though, I’m beat. Today’s been a massive shit-show and all I want to do is sleep.”

  “You think we should cuddle for warmth?” Emma asked, her sly grin creeping onto her lips.

  “And have you groping me all night? No thanks,” Sam said with a chuckle.

  Emma pouted at him for a moment, then her lips curled up in a smile once more and she winked at him.

  “Well, if you change your mind, the ground next to me has your name written all over it.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind,” Sam said, standing from his position crouched over the dead gnome and heading over to where Gordon was still sound asleep.

  He didn’t know how he’d slept through all that, but just chalked it up to the dog being a deep sleeper.

  Laying down on the ground next to the dog, Sam stared up at the stars winking back at him through the foliage of the leafy canopy above. As he felt his eyes closing and consciousness slipping into slumber, he couldn’t help but wonder if these were the same stars he’d seen back on Earth.

  36

  Sam woke as he felt someone stirring against him.

  Probably the damn dog again, he thought as he tried to force his mind into a more alert state. Opening his eyes, he saw a blurry outline just a few inches from his face.

  Yup, definitely Gordon.

  Sam tried to roll over and go back to sleep, but discovered that he couldn’t, as Gordon had apparently decided to drape a paw over him and the dog was too heavy to move. He shrugged to himself and was about to go back to sleep when his mind finally caught up.

  Wait. Dogs don’t do that. Not even the weird talking type, like Gordon.

  Forcing his eyes open once more, Sam rubbed at them a few times to clear up his vision. Emma’s face came into view, just inches from his, and Sam felt his heart leap up into his throat.

  What the hell?

  It was then that he noticed that the dog foot he’d thought had been draped over him, was a human one. Emma was curled into his side, with one arm draped over his chest, and one of her legs pulled up onto him.

  She’s using me as a fucking body pillow!

  Sam let out a low groan and thought about waking her, but when he checked his clock and saw that it was only five in the morning, he quickly changed his mind.

  Besides, what did he care if a hot girl wanted to cozy up to him, even if she was a little weird?

  So, closing his eyes once more, Sam allowed himself to drift back into sleep.

  He awoke a few hours later when a ray of sunlight hit him directly in the face.

  “Fucking sun, go away,” he groaned, draping an arm across his eyes and trying to b
lock it out.

  “Aww, you’re so cute when you’re all grumpy.”

  Sam nearly jumped out of his skin when Emma’s voice sounded just inches away from his ear. It was so close, in fact, that he could feel her breath tickling over him as she spoke.

  “I know that you seem to have no boundaries,” Sam said, still keeping his arm over his eyes. “But I feel like this is getting to be a little too much.”

  He heard Emma laugh, then felt her swat him lightly in the chest.

  “You say that, but your little friend doesn’t seem to mind my company.”

  Sam sat bolt upright, hands flying to cover himself as Emma laughed. It took him a few seconds to realize that he had not, as Emma had implied, been pitching a tent. He glared at her, but she just continued laughing unashamedly.

  “You do know what sexual harassment is, right?” he asked sullenly.

  “I do, and if I thought you minded my attention in the least, I’d leave you alone.”

  Sam rolled his eyes and turned away from her as he got his knees under him. His back felt sore and his body was completely cramped up from a night spent sleeping on the ground. Arching his back, Sam heard a few satisfying cracks, then got his feet under him and moved to rise. It was only then that he remembered who was standing behind him, and by then, it was too late. Even as Sam was breathing a sigh of resignation, he felt the hard slap on his behind. To his credit, he just ignored it, straightening to his full height and turning to face Emma, who had an innocent look on her face.

  Shaking his head, Sam held a hand out to help her up, which Emma graciously took and used to haul herself to her feet. Emma dusted herself off, then walked over to the stream running by the camp to wash her face and fix her hair.

  Sam looked around then, noting the absence of his canine companion. Looking up into the trees, he noticed that Baron Von Tweet was missing as well.

  That’s odd.

  “Do you know where Gordon and Barry went?” he asked, approaching the stream and bending down to wash his own face and get a drink.

  “Yeah,” she said, wetting her hands and running them slowly through her silky black hair. “I sent them both to scout out the city and see if they can get eyes on our targets. As far as I can see, we have three at the moment: Sirus, Aoife, and the elf.”