Trail of Flames
Page 24
Sula looked down at me, smiling kindly, and raised his glass. All around the quiet room, glasses filled the air while the Istkaal and Theria looked at me with proud eyes. I scanned the room, finding encouraging smiles laced with something else. Not pity. Not shame.
“Empathy,” Saven said.
I looked at him, then over the room once more. He was right. These people didn’t see the Fiero as the City’s lapdogs, and there were no patronizing expressions. To them, I wasn’t an orphan child wandering an unfamiliar world. I was a long-lost relative thrown into chaos. What happened to the Fiero could have happened to any of the clans. They knew that, and I felt the respect that emanated from each person in the room.
My chest swelled with an unexpected sense of belonging. My throat tightened, and I wasn’t sure what to say that wouldn’t make me cry. My eyes fell on Saven and he nodded encouragingly.
I glanced at Cypress, his glass also in the air. I smiled at the room and raised my glass above my head. “To the Fiero,” I said.
“To the Fiero,” the room echoed.
Everyone brought their glass to their lips and drank deeply. I nearly gagged when the bitter liquid hit my tongue but forced a straight face in front of the others.
“Alright, that’s enough soft stuff for one night,” Sula announced. “Canis, play something loud!”
The piano came to life with a fast-paced tune and I turned towards the bar, allowing my face to finally react to the ale. “This is strong,” I said to Cypress.
“If you think that’s strong, don’t even ask me for the whiskey,” Roger said.
“Want to head outside?” Cypress asked.
I nodded and he took my hand, leading me towards the back of the bar and out another door. The cool night air hit my warm face like a sigh of relief. Anza sat at a table to our left, giggling like a pink-cheeked child with a pretty young woman beside her.
“The guest of honor!” Anza called. She stood and stumbled over to us while Mjoll watched her with concerned eyes.
“Are you drunk?” Cypress laughed.
“Stupid question, S-Secara,” Anza stuttered. “The better question is, why are you not drunk? This ale is fantastic!” She downed the remaining liquid from her glass and wiped her chin.
I shuddered at the thought of drinking any more ale, but I took a sip anyway, not knowing what to say to her.
Anza stared at me with hazy eyes, frowning suddenly. “The Fiero are not allowed to drink, correct?”
“No, we weren’t,” I said.
“Neither the Warriors,” she said angrily. “Few Grakkir can afford the luxury of drink, but least of all the Warriors. We need to remain focused, always prepared for a City attack.” She looked out onto the grassy yard, her eyes distant. “Damn City. They take from all and give only pain.”
Saven watched from beside the building. His sympathy flowed through me as we remembered the aftermath of the City’s attack on the Grakkir village. The image of Anza crouched beside her parents’ bodies flashed in my mind.
“I’m sorry for what happened to your people,” I said quietly.
Her eyes darted to mine and she inhaled sharply. I waited for her to make some snide remark or scream, “You should be, it’s all your fault!”
Instead, Anza exhaled slowly, her shoulders sagging as she released pent-up tension. “I, too, am sorry for your people. The Istkaal man is right, our clans are cousins. They have suffered under the same fist.”
My mouth opened in surprise. Anza reached for my glass of ale. I gave it to her and watched her raise it in front of her face. “To the Fiero,” she whispered, her eyes watery.
“And the Grakkir,” I added.
She gave a nod, and she and Cypress took a long swallow of beer. Without another word, Anza turned and headed back to the waiting woman.
“She stole your drink.” Saven slithered up beside me.
“She can keep it,” I said aloud.
“You aren’t enjoying this, are you?” Cypress asked.
“It’s, uh…” I thought about lying and saying it was fine, but I couldn’t. “No, not really. Crowds aren’t really my thing.”
Cypress looked at Saven, then at me. “Where would you like to go?”
I glanced back at the boisterous bar. “Someplace quiet.”
We crossed the small yard and exited through a wooden gate. We wandered quietly down the empty cobblestone streets, glancing at buildings and listening to the hushed waves caressing the boats and docks. Every once in a while we spotted someone at the very end of a dock, their eyes focused on the dark sea. Some stood, while others sat with their feet dangling in the water.
“Blackguards?” I wondered aloud.
“Probably keeping lookout.” Cypress swallowed more ale, the half-full glass glinting in the light from the streetlamps.
“They can sense changes in the wind and water, maybe miles away.” Saven flicked his tongue in the air. “This place appears very safe, but I won’t let my guard down.”
I chuckled softly. “I wouldn’t expect you to.”
As we passed an empty dock, Cypress nodded towards it. “Let’s go sit on the end.”
I followed him down the wood planks. He took his shoes off and dangled his feet in the water, like the Istkaal Blackguards. “It’s cold,” he said with a laugh.
I mirrored him, and the water hissed for a second when I dipped my feet in. Normally I’d be cautious to do anything that might reveal my unusually high body temperature, but for once I didn’t feel the need to. The City couldn’t reach us on this island inhabited only by people with Ancient Blood. There were no City soldiers hiding around the corner, and everyone here already knew about my powers. For the first time in my entire life, I felt like I didn’t need to hide. I smiled at the thought.
Saven slipped into the cool water, his eyes scanning the glassy surface. He swam out in front of the dock and dipped beneath the water. A second later, he resurfaced with a fish wriggling in his mouth. He swallowed it and dove for another. If he was hunting, it meant he also felt secure enough with our surroundings to relax for a little while.
I was so focused on my sense of calm that I hardly felt Cypress’s hand on mine.
I twitched away out of habit. When I looked at his face, he didn’t seem embarrassed, nor did he apologize. A small grin crept across his lips and I realized it wasn’t a mistake at all.
I set my palm down on the rough wood planks and my heart thumped when Cypress placed his hand back on top of mine. I had never been an affectionate person; to touch anyone outside my immediate family would reveal my powers and lead to punishment or death. I resisted the urge to pull away. The familiar instinct telling me this was dangerous fought with unfamiliar feelings that told me this was good and shouldn’t be taken for granted.
“You know, I’ve been thinking,” Cypress said.
“You don’t say?” I asked sarcastically.
He chuckled and elbowed my side. “When everything is said and done—after we defeat the City, that is—we could come back here and stay a while. We could reopen trade routes between the clans and do things better than the City has. Everyone would share with each other and we’d all flourish.”
“Think you could convince the Nordahl to participate?” I asked.
“Well…maybe someone else should take on that challenge.”
I laughed. Saven resurfaced several feet to our left, his powerful jaws breaking the shell holding some unsuspecting creature. I wondered, what would it be like to live on Three Winds? We could use our powers openly. I could find a job in the orchard, maybe set up a produce stall in the market, and live in a small brick cottage somewhere away from the bustling port area.
The wind kicked up, rocking the glowing lantern attached to a tall post above us, and with it I remembered that the odds of us defeating the City were not in our favor. Even if we had an army big enough to drive the City back, there was no guarantee I’d survive the battle. But if I did, wasn’t I obligated to restore the F
iero village? I needed to be with my sister, and we would try to rebuild our family home. I’d gather the remaining Fiero survivors—the ones who would speak to me—and help them sort out life after the war. Wasn’t that the reason I was doing this?
“Valieri?” Cypress asked.
I turned to him and realized I was crying. I sniffed and looked away, wiping my face with the back of my hand. “It’s a nice idea,” I said quietly.
“But you don’t think it will happen?” he asked.
I didn’t respond, focusing on Saven’s darkened shape gliding under the water. He popped his head up and looked at me, sensing my sadness, knowing my thoughts. His gaze drifted from me to Cypress, then he quickly looked away, his mind a battleground of thoughts. Should he protect me from possible harm, or allow me the chance at happiness?
Saven slithered our way and loomed over us, nudging my shoulder gently. “Stay focused on your purpose, Valieri. Let it give you hope to survive.”
He pulled himself out of the water and meandered towards the street. “Where are you going?” I asked him.
Saven paused. “I’m tired. I’ll be waiting for you at the boarding house.” His tone didn’t chastise me, nor was it laced with jealousy or irritation. It felt like he was reluctantly giving in.
I watched him turn away, feeling guilty all the same.
“Val.” Cypress squeezed my hand, redirecting my attention. “I know it won’t be easy. We’re up against the strongest entity in the entire world and we don’t even know how many people are going to help us. But please,” his eyes searched mine, looking desperate and sad, “please don’t give up before we’ve had a chance to try. We might not have numbers, but we have hope and a sense of duty. The City only craves power; we’re all fighting for our lives and for each other. They can never understand that.”
As I stared into his eyes, I suddenly didn’t feel so alone. My bond with Saven was almost innate, perhaps even fateful. But Cypress didn’t need to care for me. He didn’t need to try so hard to be close to me. Like Anza, or the Secara, or even the Grakkir, Cypress had no obligation to stand with me any more than it took to complete our mission. But here he was, looking at me like I was more than just an ally and a stranger he found freezing to death on his trade route. He never glared at me with accusing eyes to remind me I was the catalyst of so much death. He looked at me like I was someone who was more than just a product of fate’s cruel hand. He made me feel worthwhile in ways most people hadn’t.
I leaned in and pressed my lips to his. They felt cool, reminding me of the fire raging within myself. Most people pulled away at the touch of my skin, but Cypress only moved closer, one of his hands squeezing my arm while the other found my cheek. For once, my instinct to pull away silenced and I allowed myself to feel affection and attraction fully and without fear.
His kiss filled me, not like the tiny peck we shared before. This was deep, longing. I felt accepted, cherished. For so long I hated myself for my powers, for the harm that came to many because of me. But with his lips against mine, I forgot all of this. I wasn’t a strange person with forbidden powers, but the one he wanted to kiss. My breath held in my lungs and I embraced the moment.
Finally, I leaned away and smirked down at my lap, not sure what to say or do. I watched the gentle waves as they bobbed and disappeared under the dock. My cheeks felt hot and I noticed the water around my ankles was steaming. I quickly pulled my legs up and sat cross-legged.
“You okay?” he asked.
I struggled to find my words. “I’m—I’m fine.”
He chuckled. “Do you want to head back? Saven is waiting for you.”
He was, and I suspected he’d look at me with disappointment because I was allowing myself to become close to Cypress. I knew it was a risk to feel closeness for anyone, not just because it put them in danger, but because feelings make us vulnerable. My heart had been broken in many ways, so one would think I’d never want closeness. But did it have to be that way? I fought every day to find Jenassa because I loved her; why should I not allow myself to feel love in other ways? Was it selfish to want to be normal for a change?
“In a few minutes,” I finally said.
I focused my eyes on the ocean, leaning my shoulder against Cypress. He leaned back, not saying or doing anything. Just being.
Chapter 18
Gods have mercy…”
Anza’s groan pulled me from the deepest slumber I’d had in a long time. I turned my head and winced as the sunlight spilled through the thin white curtains. She clutched her head, eyes clamped shut, looking pale and pained.
“What’s wrong with you?” I sat up.
“The ale must have been poisoned,” she moaned. “Or someone stabbed me in the temple while I slept.”
“Isn’t that what alcohol does when you drink too much?”
Anza groaned again and rolled onto her side, hunting for the chamber pot under her bed. She found it at the last minute, and I turned away before witnessing the effects of her excessive drinking. I was no longer angry at the City for banning alcohol.
Mjoll grunted sympathetically outside. I pulled the curtain back and lifted the window. The mountain lion stood just below our bedroom, staring up with round, sad eyes.
“She’s not dying, if that’s what you’re worried about,” I told her.
Mjoll whimpered softly and sat with her shoulders slumped forward. Saven was curled in a ball on the other end of the yard, quietly sulking. By the time I’d returned to the boarding house the night before, he’d already fallen asleep. I frowned, feeling stubborn yet guilty. Saven lifted his head and flicked his tongue. I sighed. “I’ll come down in a minute.”
I pulled myself back inside the room and moved to close the window, then thought better of it when I glanced at Anza slumped over the edge of her bed.
“Shall I send for a Healer?” I asked sarcastically.
“Shut your—” Anza clamped her lips together and breathed heavily through her nose.
I shook my head and stepped over to her small cluster of belongings. I found her leather waterskin and placed it beside her. “I’ll come check on you a little later.”
She mumbled something that may have been “thank you” as I pulled my shoes on and left the room.
Closed doors lined the walls all around the upstairs area. Over the wooden banister in front of me was an open foyer, the front desk empty. The building was quiet and peaceful. At the end of the hall was Cypress and Roger’s room. I drummed my fingers on the railing, contemplating whether I should see if they were awake yet. Then I remembered Saven’s disappointment and decided it would be best to go talk to him.
Once outside, I realized the sun had been up for a few hours. The salty breeze felt cool and fresh, so I knew it was late morning. The glistening ocean greeted me, and my lips rose at the corners as an unusual feeling of calm washed over me.
I headed towards the port, glancing at people as they passed. Some moved slowly, no doubt feeling like Anza, while others smiled kindly and said “hello” or “good morning.” I paused at the back side of the boarding house where Saven waited patiently at the closed gate.
I looked up at him, feeling ashamed and apologetic. I expected him to be angry. Instead, jealousy and concern swirled through his mind. The thought of holding a grudge against each other filled us both with sickly unease. We realized we needed to have a discussion.
Finally, he broke the silence. “I could just crawl over the gate, but I’d probably destroy it.”
I smirked and lifted the latch, allowing him to pass through.
I took my time securing the gate again and when I finally looked at him, he was watching the ocean. “Do you think living here would make you happy?” he asked.
“You overheard us?”
He nodded.
I inhaled and let my breath out slowly, relaxing into the soft breeze that passed by. We watched a flock of pelicans soar overhead, flying towards the harbor to search for fish. “You know…any place
I wanted to go you could go too, right?”
He shifted but didn’t say anything.
“Me choosing to care for someone else doesn’t mean I care for you any less.” I touched his side and he finally looked down at me. “Are you worried I’ll abandon you for someone else?”
“No…” He couldn’t hide his uncertainty from me, no matter what he said.
“Saven,” I chided. “You should already know you’re irreplaceable.”
He hissed slowly, sighing. “When I became your companion, I swore to protect not just your body and your life, but your mind and heart as well. Love is a dangerous thing and I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
I bit my lip and looked away. “I love you. Is that not dangerous?”
He flicked his tail, snared by his own logic. “Just tread carefully, Valieri. You know what I would do to anyone who harms you.”
I wanted to tell him it was none of his business. Whether he was just jealous or genuinely worried about my heart being broken, I was still permitted to live my life and take whatever chances I wanted. But I also didn’t want to do anything that would hurt him.
“Can we just put this aside for now? I’ll try not to do anything risky. Aside from attacking the City, that is.”
Saven chuckled in his head. “Okay, we can let it go for now. I just want you to stay focused. After this is over, your life will be your own. No one will ever tell you what to do again.”
“That’s right,” I said. “I will have a life of my own, and you will always be part of it.”
He leaned down and pressed his forehead to mine. I felt forgiven, and so did he.
✽ ✽ ✽
The harbor was by far the most active part of the island during the day. Ships were being loaded and unloaded, some were leaving the docks, others mere specks on the horizon. We heard hammering long before the Salty Mutt came into view, and I spotted Cypress, Roger, and a few Blackguards attempting to get the new mast upright.
“Good morning, you lazy dogs!” Sula barked over the railing. “Nice of you to help an old man out.”
I smiled and put my hand on my hip. “You seem to be doing just fine on your own.”