Rosshalde

by Hermann Hesse

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  Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright Notice

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Books by Hermann Hesse

  Copyright

  Chapter One

  TEN YEARS AGO when Johann Veraguth bought Rosshalde and moved in, it was an abandoned old manor with overgrown garden paths, moss-covered benches, cracked stone steps, and a tangled, neglected park. The only buildings on the property, which measured about eight acres, were the fine, slightly run-down manor house with its stable, and in the park a small temple-like summer house, its door hanging askew on bent hinges and its walls, formerly hung with blue silk, covered with moss and mold.

  Immediately after purchasing the house, the new owner had torn down the decrepit temple, leaving only the ten old stone steps that descended from its threshold to the edge of the fish pond. In its place Veraguth's studio was built. Here for seven years he had painted and spent most of his time, but he had lived at the manor house until the increasing dissension in his family had led him to send his elder son away to boarding school, to leave the manor house to his wife and servants, and for his own use to add two rooms to the studio, where he had been living as a bachelor ever since. It was a pity about the fine manor house; Frau Veraguth and the seven-year-old Pierre used only the upper floor; she received visitors and guests but never very many of them, so that a number of the rooms were empty all year round.

  Little Pierre was the darling of both parents, the only bond between father and mother; not only did he maintain a certain contact between the manor and the studio, in a sense he was the sole lord and master of Rosshalde. Herr Veraguth's domain was his studio, the lake shore, and the former game preserve, while his wife reigned over the house, the lawn, and the lime and chestnut groves. Seldom did either of them visit the other's territory, except at mealtimes, when the painter usually went to the manor house. Little Pierre alone did not recognize, indeed he was hardly aware of, this division of life and territories. He came and went as freely in the old house as in the new, he was as much at home in his father's studio and library as in the hallway and picture gallery of the manor house, or in his mother's rooms; he was lord over the strawberries in the chestnut grove, the flowers in the lime grove, the fish in the lake, the bathhouse and the gondola. In his dealings with his mother's maids and Robert, his father's servant, he felt himself to be both master and protege; in the eyes of his mother's visitors and guests he was the son of the lady of the house, and in the eyes of the gentlemen who sometimes came to Papa's studio and spoke French, he was the painter's son. Paintings and photographs of the boy hung in his father's bedroom and in the mother's rooms in the old house with their light-colored wallpaper. Pierre was very well off, better off indeed than children whose parents live in harmony; his upbringing was not regulated by any program, and when, as sometimes happened, he was in trouble in his mother's domain, the lakeside territory offered him a secure refuge.

  He had gone to bed long before, and at eleven o'clock the last window in the manor house had darkened. Long after midnight, Johann Veraguth returned alone from town, where he had spent the evening with friends at a tavern. As he strode through the balmy, cloudy, early summer night, the atmosphere of wine and smoke, of red-faced laughter and outrageous jokes had fallen away from him; consciously breathing in the warm, damp, slightly tense night air as he walked alertly down the road between the dark fields of already well-grown grain, he approached Rosshalde with its massed treetops silent against the pale night sky.

  Passing the entrance to the estate, he glanced at the manor house; its noble, luminous facade shone alluringly against the black darkness of the trees, and for a few minutes he gazed at the lovely scene with the pleasure and strangeness of a passing traveler; then he continued on for a few hundred paces along the high hedge to the place where he had made an opening from which a secret path led through the woods to the studio. His senses keenly awake, the small powerful man walked through the somber, overgrown park toward his house; the dark treetops surmounting the lake seemed to open, a great sphere of dull-gray sky came into view, and suddenly the house was before him.

  The little lake lay almost black in the total silence, the feeble light lay on the water like an infinitely thin membrane or a layer of fine dust. Veraguth looked at his watch, it was almost one. He opened a side door leading into his living room. Here he lighted a candle and quickly undressed; naked, he left the house and slowly descended the broad flat stone steps into the water, which for an instant glittered in soft little rings before his knees. He plunged, swam a little way out into the lake, suddenly felt the weariness of an evening spent in an unaccustomed way, turned back, and entered the house dripping. He threw a bathrobe over his shoulders, smoothed the water from his close-cropped hair, and barefoot climbed the few steps leading to his studio, an enormous, almost empty room, where with a few impatient movements he quickly turned on all the electric lights.

  He hurried to an easel bearing a small canvas he had been working on in the last few days. Bending forward with his hands on his knees, he stood before the picture and stared at the surface, whose fresh colors reflected the harsh light. So he remained for two or three minutes, staring in silence until the entire picture, down to the last brush stroke, came alive in his eyes; in the last few years he had become accustomed on nights before working days to take no other image to bed and sleep with him than that of the painting he was working on. He put out the lights, picked up the candle, and went to his bedroom, on the door to which hung a small slate. He picked up the chalk, wrote in bold letters: "Wake at seven, coffee at nine," closed the door behind him, and went to bed. He lay for a short while motionless with his eyes open, compelling the picture to take form on his retina. Saturated with it, he closed his clear gray eyes, heaved a gentle sigh, and soon fell asleep.

  In the morning Robert awakened him at the appointed hour; he rose at once, washed in cold running water, slipped into a faded suit of coarse gray linen, and went to the studio; the servant had pulled up the heavy shutters. On a small table stood a dish of fruit, a carafe of water, and a piece of rye bread. He thoughtfully picked up the bread and bit into it while standing at the easel looking at his picture. Pacing back and forth, he took a few bites of bread, fished a few cherries out of the glass bowl, and noticed that some letters and newspapers had been laid on the table but ignored them. A moment later he was sitting on his camp chair looking tensely at his work.

  The little picture in horizontal format represented an early morning scene which the painter had witnessed and done several sketches of in the course of a trip. He had stopped at a little country inn on the upper Rhine. The friend he had come to see was nowhere to be found. He had spent an unpleasant rainy evening in the smoky taproom and a bad night in a damp bedroom smelling of whitewash and mold. Before sunrise, he had waked hot and disgruntled from a light sleep. Finding the house door still locked, he had climbed out of the taproom window, untied a boat on the
nearby bank of the Rhine, and rowed out into the sluggish, barely dawning river. From the far shore, just as he was about to turn back, he saw a fisherman rowing toward him. Its dark outline bathed in the cold, faintly quivering light of the milky rainy daybreak, the skiff seemed unnaturally large. Instantly captivated by the scene and by the strange light, he had pulled in his oars while the man came closer, stopped at a floating marker, and raised a fish trap from the cool water. Two broad, dull-silvery fishes appeared, glistened wet for a moment over the gray river, and then fell with a smack into the fisherman's boat. Bidding the man to wait, Veraguth had fetched a rudimentary paintbox, and had done a small water-color sketch. He had spent the day in the village, sketching and reading; the next morning he had painted again in the open, and had then resumed his travels. Since then he had turned the picture over and over in his mind, suffering torments until it took shape. Now he had been working on it for days and it was almost finished.

  As a rule he painted in the bright sun or in the warm, broken light of the park or forest, so that the flowing silvery coolness of the picture had given him a good deal of trouble. But it had shown him a new tone, he had found a satisfactory solution the day before, and now he felt that this was good, unusual work, something more than a commendable likeness, that in it a moment out of nature's mysterious flow burst through the glassy surface, giving an intimation of the wild, full breath of reality.

  The painter studied the picture with attentive eyes and weighed the tones on his palette, which, having lost nearly all its reds and yellows, bore little resemblance to his usual palette. The water and the air were finished, the surface was bathed in a chill, unfriendly light, the bushes and stakes on the shore floated like shadows in the moist, livid half light; the crude skiff in the water was disembodied and unreal, the fisherman's face was speechless and undefined, only his hand reaching out calmly for the fish was alive with uncompromising reality. One of the fishes sprang glistening over the gunwale of the boat; the other lay flat and still, its round open mouth and rigid frightened eye full of creature suffering. The whole was cold and almost cruelly sad, but irreproachably quiet, free from symbolism except of the simple kind without which there can be no work of art, which permits us not only to feel the oppressive incomprehensibility of all nature but also to love it with a kind of sweet astonishment.

  When the painter had been sitting at his work for about two hours, the servant knocked and in response to his master's absent call brought breakfast in. He quietly set down the pitchers, cup, and plate, moved up a chair, waited awhile in silence, and then announced diffidently: "Breakfast is served, Herr Veraguth."

  "Coming," said the painter, rubbing out with his thumb a brush stroke he had just made on the tail of the leaping fish. "Is there hot water?"

  He washed his hands and sat down to his coffee.

  "You can stuff a pipe for me, Robert," he said cheerfully. "The little one without a cover, it must be in the bedroom."

  The servant went. Veraguth drank the strong coffee with fervor, and the faint suggestion of dizziness and exhaustion, which had been coming over him lately after strenuous effort, lifted like morning mist.

  He took the pipe from the servant, let him light it, and greedily breathed in the aromatic smoke, which intensified and refined the effect of the coffee. He pointed at his picture and said: "You went fishing as a boy, Robert, I believe?"

  "Yes, Herr Veraguth."

  "Take a look at that fish, not the one in the air, the other with its mouth open. Is the mouth right?"

  "It's right," said Robert distrustfully. "But you know better than I do," he added in a tone of reproach, as though sensing mockery in the question.

  "No, my friend, that is not true. It's only in early youth, up to the age of thirteen or fourteen, that a man perceives things in all their sharpness and freshness; all the rest of his life he feeds on that experience. I had nothing to do with fish as a boy, that's why I ask. So tell me, is the nose right?"

  "It's good, it's perfectly right," said Robert, flattered.

  Veraguth had stood up again and was examining his palette. Robert looked at him. He was familiar with this concentration that came into his master's eyes and gave them an almost glassy look; he knew that he, the coffee, and their little conversation were vanishing from Veraguth's mind and that if he were to address him in a few minutes, the painter would wake as though from a deep sleep. But that was dangerous. As Robert was clearing the table, he saw the mail lying there untouched.

  "Herr Veraguth," he said softly.

  The painter was still accessible. He cast a hostile glance over his shoulder, very much in the manner of an exhausted man spoken to when on the point of falling asleep.

  "Your mail."

  With that, Robert left the room. Veraguth nervously squeezed a blob of cobalt blue on his palette, tossed the tube on the little lead-sheathed painting table, and began to mix his colors. But then he felt troubled by the servant's reminder. Irritably he put the palette down and picked up the letters.

  The usual business correspondence, an invitation to contribute to a group exhibition, a request from a newspaper for biographical information, a bill--but then a thrill of joy passed over him as he caught sight of a handwriting he knew well; he picked up the letter and delightedly read his own name and every word of the address, taking pleasure in the strong character of the free, impetuous pen strokes. He tried to read the postmark. The stamp was Italian, it could only be Naples or Genoa. So his friend was already in Europe, not far away, and could be expected in a few days.

  With emotion he opened the letter and looked with satisfaction at the rigorous order of the short straight lines. If his memory did not deceive him, these infrequent letters from his friend abroad were the only pure joy he had experienced in the last five or six years, except for his work and the hours spent with little Pierre. And now once again, in the midst of his joyous expectancy, a vague, unpleasant feeling of shame came over him at the thought of his impoverished, loveless life. Slowly he read:

  Naples, 2 June, night

  Dear Johann,

  As usual, a mouthful of Chianti with greasy spaghetti, and the shouting of the peddlers outside the wine shop, are the first signs of the European culture to which I am once again returning. Here in Naples nothing has changed in five years, much less than in Singapore or Shanghai; I take this as a good sign and am encouraged to hope that I shall find everything in good shape at home as well. The day after tomorrow we shall be in Genoa, where my nephew is meeting me. We shall visit our relatives together. I expect no great effusions of sympathy in that quarter because to be perfectly frank I have not earned ten talers in the last four years. I figure on four, five days for the most pressing family obligations, then business in Holland, say another five, six days, so I ought to be with you on about the sixteenth. You will receive a wire. I should like to stay with you for at least ten days or a fortnight, and interfere with your work. You have become dreadfully famous, and if what you used to say some twenty years ago about success and celebrities was even halfway true, you must be quite gaga by now. I mean to buy some paintings from you and my foregoing lamentations about the state of business are a maneuver to hold your prices down.

  We are growing older, Johann. This was my twelfth trip across the Red Sea and for the first time I suffered from the heat. 115 in the shade.

  Think of it, old man, only two weeks! It will cost you a bottle of Moselle. It's been more than four years.

  A letter will reach me from the ninth to the fourteenth in Antwerp, Hotel de l'Europe. If you have any pictures showing on my itinerary, let me know!

  Yours,

  Otto

  In high good humor, he reread the short letter with its sturdy, erect letters and temperamental punctuation, took a calendar from the drawer of the little desk in the corner, and wagged his head with satisfaction as he looked at it. Up to the middle of the month, more than twenty of his paintings would be on exhibit in Brussels. That was a good thing.
It meant that his friend, whose sharp eye he rather feared and from whom he would not be able to conceal the devastation of his life in the last few years, would at least have a good impression of him, an impression he could take pride in. That would make everything easier. He saw Otto with his somewhat rough-hewn transoceanic elegance striding through the Brussels gallery, looking at his paintings, his best paintings, and for a moment he was thoroughly glad he had sent them to the show, though only a few were still for sale. And he immediately wrote a note to Antwerp.

  "He still remembers everything," he thought gratefully. "He's right, the last time we stuck almost entirely to Moselle, and one night we really drank."

  On reflection, he concluded that there was sure to be no Moselle left in the cellar, which he himself rarely visited, and decided to order a few cases that very day.

  Then he sat down again to his work, but felt distracted and uneasy and was unable to regain the pure concentration in which good ideas come unsummoned. He put his brushes in a glass, pocketed his friend's letter, and sauntered irresolutely into the open. The mirror of the lake glittered up at him, a cloudless summer day had risen, and the sun-drenched park resounded with the voices of many birds.

  He looked at his watch. It was time for Pierre's morning lessons to be over. He strolled aimlessly through the park, looked absently down the brown, sun-mottled paths, listened in the direction of the house, walked past Pierre's playground with its swing and sand piles. At length he approached the kitchen garden and looked with momentary interest up into the high crowns of the horse-chestnut trees with their shadow-deep masses of leaves and last joyous-bright candles. The buzzing of the bees came and went in soft waves as they swarmed round the many half-open rosebuds in the garden hedge, and through the dark foliage the merry little turret clock in the manor house could be heard striking. The number of strokes was wrong, and Veraguth thought again of Pierre, whose proudest ambition it was, later, when he was bigger, to repair the ancient clockwork.

  Then he heard, from the other side of the hedge, voices and steps which in the sunny air of the garden blended softly with the buzzing of the bees and the cries of the birds, with the lazy-blowing fragrance of the carnation border and of the bean blossoms. It was his wife with Pierre; he stood still and listened attentively.