Florence

by Patricia Pacjac Carroll

  She stared at him. “What are you trying to tell me?”

  He removed his arm from her shoulders. “The sawmill is going to take a lot of time. Our home isn’t finished, and I have a lot to do before winter. And then there are the normal strains of two people learning to live with one another.” Jay playfully touched her lips. “I promise to make you smile. I will be a good husband.”

  Her heart softened toward him as she took down the walls she’d put up when she saw him go into the saloon. “I’m sorry to jump on you for something you didn’t even do. Yes, we will no doubt have to forgive one another over and over again. I know that I probably am not an easy woman to love. Life has been hard for me, and I fear it has hardened me. But I will try my best to be a good wife.”

  Jay smiled at her and tucked a wayward curl behind her ear. “Let’s go have dinner. Talk about what we like and don’t like and get to know one another.”

  She smiled, at least it was a weak attempt. “I am hungry.” At least, she had been. She hoped her hunger would return. She had a feeling she was going to need all the strength she could muster, but then again, Florence Winwood Selmer had never been afraid of hard work.

  ***

  Jay walked beside her in a protective and proud manner. Something tremendous had happened in his heart at the church. Before they married, he had pledged to himself to be a good husband to Florence. Now, the charge to be a good husband to her was deep inside his heart and soul.

  What had the preacher said, Holy Matrimony? And that’s how it felt. A holy vow to love and protect her and to provide for her in every way. But mostly, to love her with all that was in him. Jay felt as if he’d been made a new man.

  Jay opened the door and waited for Florence to enter. He was glad to see that none of the mob of miners were inside. He understood how stirred up and hot men could become, and it was hard to reason with a mob once they crossed that line of reason. Levi had done a good job.

  Looking for a table in the middle of the room, Jay led her to one. He felt it was important to show her off and let her know how glad he was that she had married him. He could tell it made her a bit nervous, but Jay felt it was necessary.

  He pulled out a chair out for her and then sat beside her. “I chose the middle of the room because I want everyone to know how thankful and proud that I am to have you as my wife.”

  She blushed.

  Jay enjoyed seeing that his explanation had touched her. “What would you like to order?”

  Florence studied the one-page menu. “The beef stew sounds good.”

  Jay nodded and ordered her the stew while he ordered a steak. While they waited for the dinner, Jay looked at Florence. She was a fine woman. He didn’t like to see the sadness in her eyes, but he hoped to wipe away. That worried him some as they were looking at some tough times to get established.

  Jay folded his hands and looked at her earnestly. “We won’t be able to eat here very often. I don’t have money trouble, but I am short of funds right now. I still owe for the horse, and I’m working off what I owe on the sawmill. If all goes as I think it will, we should be free and clear by next spring. I do hope you’re a patient woman.”

  She gave him a weak grin. “I can assure you that I have mastered patience. At a very young age, I took over the duties in my family’s household. My mother took ill. I was the oldest and didn’t question that I would take over the bulk of the duties. I learned to cook, clean, sew, and comfort the little ones when they got hurt. Patience, I have.”

  Jay felt for her. She deserved an easy time. Instead, she was stepping into a hard mix of work and tough times. “I won’t lie, the house is a mess. It will be beautiful when it’s finished, but right now, only the one room is livable.”

  “I’ll make do with what we have.” She unfolded her napkin and laid it in her lap. “I’m used to hard times. It will be a joy to have someone to share the burdens with.”

  He smiled at that. “I like that you see it that way. I really want to make everything nice for you.”

  “I can see that.” She smiled and wiped a tear from her eye. “I feel that I have been alone and on my own since I can remember. It will be quite a relief to know that I am in this with you. Thank you for that, Jay.”

  He leaned back. “So, what is your favorite meal?”

  “Easy. It’s stew. Easy to make, and the flavors are so robust.”

  “I like a good steak and potatoes with gravy and rolls. And butter.” He laughed. “Not that I have had steak very often in my life. Mostly, we struggled just to eat.”

  Florence nodded. “That had to be hard. With all my trials, living on a farm, we never had to worry about food. I will make sure I always make bread and rolls and have butter ready for you. Although that would mean getting a milk cow.”

  Jay took out his pad and pencil and wrote down a milk cow. He wanted to get her whatever she wanted. “I don’t know when I can get one, but it’s top on my list.”

  “No rush. I don’t want to put unnecessary pressure on you.”

  Jay kept the pencil in his hand, ready to write. “Do you need new clothes? I have some money set aside for you.”

  “No, I have several outfits. I’d rather you put the money toward the house.”

  Jay nodded. “What’s your favorite color?”

  She blushed. “You know that flower you picked for me?”

  “The fireweed?”

  She nodded. “That beautiful color of pink fused with red.”

  “Noted.”

  She grinned at him. “What about you? Your favorite color?”

  Jay scratched his chin. “I’d say it’s the color of the blue sky.” He grinned and pointed at her. “The same color as your eyes.” He took her hand in his. “How many children?”

  She blushed, and her cheeks neared the color of fireweed. “You know, from the time I was a little girl, I always thought I would have seven children. A good mixture of boys and girls. And that I’d have them all before I was thirty.” She laughed. “Now, I’m already twenty-five, and that doesn’t seem a possibility. Like so many of my dreams.”

  Jay patted her hand. “I’m good with as many as you want. And don’t sell your dreams short. I never dreamed I would own a sawmill, be married to a wonderful woman, and have a house. I was headed for prison or a rope. God must have looked down on me and dished out a big dose of mercy on me.”

  The waiter brought the food.

  After they’d finished eating, Jay looked at her. “How about a nice walk around the town?”

  “I’d like that.”

  He could see she was nervous. Well, to tell the truth, he was a little himself. A pleasant walk was the best way to settle those nerves.

  The sun was just dipping down to the hills and lighting the church steeple a bright yellow. He led Florence toward the park. They walked around the pond and made small talk. Or mostly he did, but she added a few words here and there.

  The sun dipped behind the mountains, and the twilight scattered long shadows over the ground. The sky turned colors until the dusky blues of beginning night took over.

  Jay took her to the swing on the edge of the pond. “I hear this is the swing that makes couples fall in love.”

  She sat away from him, leaving several inches between them.

  He looked into her eyes. “I love you, Florence. I know we barely know one another, but at the church during the wedding, something changed in my heart. I’ll live and die to make you happy.”

  Her shoulders relaxed. “I can see it in your eyes.” She started to say more but stopped.

  Jay knew she didn’t feel the same, but he trusted it would come. She would love him in time. He pulled her to him and kissed her. Just once. Then he caressed her hair.

  At first, she was stiff in his arms, but as he loved her, she relaxed until finally, she was leaning against him, her head on his shoulder.

  “You’re going to get used to this, Florence.” He pointed to the east. “There’s the moon. I ordered it
to come up just for you.”

  “Jay, I don’t know—”

  “Shh, it’s all right. We’ll take our time. We have all our lives together.” He hugged her to him and felt as if he wanted to put her safely inside his heart. Or maybe she was already in his heart. He couldn’t be more in love with her if he wanted to.

  Loud shouts came from down the street where the doc’s office was. Jay turned and saw a wagon outside the building.

  “Oh dear, someone has been hurt or sick.” Florence stood.

  “Wonder if it’s one of the miners.” Jay stood and took Florence by the hand. “We better go back to the hotel.”

  Chapter 8

  Florence awoke to the sun streaming through gently waving curtains. The day was already warming. She took in a deep breath and turned over to see that Jay was already up and gone.

  She was a wife and a woman in every way. She couldn’t say that she was in love with Jay, but they’d crossed some threshold last night, and she at least had reached an understanding within herself.

  Florence was happy with her choice. It had been a long time since she could claim that she felt content. She knew there would be troubles, but she did like Jay and missed him right now. She wondered what he was doing.

  She didn’t have long to wonder because the door opened, and Jay entered with a tray loaded with breakfast.

  He closed the door with his foot and smiled at her. “I didn’t want to wake you. I went out and brought you breakfast. You hungry?”

  “Yes. Thank you.” She got up and wrapped her robe around her. “What did you get?”

  “A little of everything. Eggs, bacon, potatoes, and pancakes. And of course, coffee. I forgot to tell you that in our get-to-know-one-another session. I need my coffee in the morning. Lots of black coffee.”

  She sat at the little table and fixed her plate. “I will remember that. Oh, this looks delicious.”

  He took her hand in his. “If I could, I’d make you breakfast every morning. You’re beautiful, Florence.”

  Her cheeks warmed. “Breakfast will be my duty. I am excited to see our house.” Just saying our house sent off a new wave of delight in her. Never had she been this happy.

  “After breakfast, I’ll rent a buggy, and we’ll go home.” He smiled and looked at her with such adoration in his eyes.

  “We need to go to the store and pick up some supplies.” She had meant to keep her dowry a secret in case she needed to escape a bad situation. Yet, she was beginning to trust him. “Jay, I do have some money of my own. A dowry from my family.” She wouldn’t tell him how much. She would keep that to herself.

  Jay grinned. “I’m the provider of this family. I have enough for the basics plus I already have some goods at the house. Besides, I’m a good hunter, so we’ll have plenty of meat.”

  She grinned. “And make me a garden. I’ll provide vegetables for us. Later we can plant some fruit trees.”

  “Well, you are an enterprising young lady, and one that’s going to keep me busy.”

  She ate the last of her bacon. “We’ll work together. I am not afraid of working.”

  After sipping the last of his coffee, Jay set his cup down. “Why don’t you get dressed, and I’ll get the horse and buggy.”

  “That sounds lovely.” She grinned at him. He was so full of life.

  Jay left the room, and she instantly missed him. He was making an impact on her that was for sure.

  She picked out the light blue skirt and white blouse with tiny roses embroidered on the collar. She’d sewn it herself. Florence recalled sitting in her old house sewing late in the night, stopping every now and then to consider if her future husband would appreciate her handiwork.

  Soon, she’d know. After dressing and fixing her hair, she packed her things and then looked around the room to see if she’d forgotten anything. Sure, that all was packed, she went to the window to look out on her new town.

  Florence hoped the sickness at the mines didn’t intrude on the little city. She was delighted to know that there was a doctor in Shirleyville. Plus, Bridgette had told her about James and Li, a lovely Chinese woman, and how they were both going to go to Boston to study medicine.

  Florence had heard of cholera and typhoid outbreaks. They could be deadly. A family down in the bottoms all died from typhoid back in Minnesota. Her father wouldn’t even talk about the scene as he helped the sheriff bury the family. All six of them.

  “I won’t think of that. Only good things.” She paused and wondered what her house would look like. Unfinished, he’d said. Well, she would have her hands full cleaning it and keeping it clean.

  The door unlocked, and Jay entered. He didn’t say anything, just cocked his head and stared at her.

  Florence worried that something was wrong. “Is everything all right?”

  “More than all right. To enter this room and see you at the window, I’m sorry, it just overwhelmed me. I’m surprised you can’t hear my heart racing. I love you, Florence.”

  She smiled, and this time didn’t have to force it. The smile came from deep inside her and was real. This man was changing her from the inside out.

  “Well, let’s go.” He took the bag from her. “You have a trunk, too, don’t you?”

  “Yes, it’s at Bridgette’s house.”

  “No, problem. We’ll drive out and visit them later this week.” He led her down the stairs, staying ahead of her in a protective way lest she stumbled. She stared at his broad shoulders. The dark hair that curled at the nape of his neck as if to say, I won’t be tamed.

  She figured that was her Jay. Her heart glowed at thoughts about him. That she had a man, she could call her own made her heart light and happy. But she had to admit, she had a sneaking idea that this man she had would not be owned.

  Florence reached the bottom of the stairs and saw that Jay was waiting for her to walk beside him.

  “I already settled with the clerk. Let’s go to the store.” He took her arm, and together they walked to the general store.

  Florence picked out a sack of flour, coffee, sugar, and bacon. She picked a dozen eggs. “We’ll need to buy chickens and build a coop for them.”

  Jay nodded and put it on his list.

  Florence looked about and asked the clerk, “Seeds, do you have some?”

  The clerk nodded. “Right over here. Just got some in.”

  Florence picked out some carrot, cabbage, lettuce, green bean, spinach, and melon. “That should give me a start.”

  Jay picked out some seed potatoes. “I like potatoes.”

  She laughed. “I hope you have a hoe and shovel.”

  Jay grinned and asked the clerk. “I think that better be it.”

  She carried the seeds, and soon they were in the buggy and on the way to the house. Florence kept telling herself it couldn’t be that bad. She would first make her garden. That was one thing she’d loved to do back home.

  The road narrowed to barely a path only large enough for one wagon at a time to get down. Then Jay reined the horse to the right and stopped. Florence wondered why, but then she looked, and there it was.

  Yes, it was but a shell of what it could be, but it was nestled in a meadow surrounded by tall green forests of pine. A bubbling creek ran down the north part of the land, cutting a blue ribbon across a lush green field.

  She touched Jay’s arm. “It’s beautiful. Oh, the house, it has such promise.” She turned to face him. “I know we can make this work. I love it.” Indeed, it was as if the land and house called to her that she was home.

  Jay drove the buggy to the house and then helped her down. “Let me show you the house. Like I said, it needs lots of work.”

  “We’ll do it. I’m not afraid.”

  “Let’s go then.” He pulled her to the steps. “Later, you can buy flowers, roses even to put beside the steps.” Jay led her up the steps, then stopped and picked her up to carry her inside the house.

  Florence almost laughed. While there were only a few walls
, there was a door.

  “This will be the main room.” Jay waved his arm. “We can enjoy the fireplace and look out at the brook in the pasture. And I’m sure it will be full of fine horses frolicking in the meadow.” He looked at her with fun in his eyes. “I’ll have to build a barn this summer. Winters are brutal.”

  “Yes, we will. For my chickens and milk cow, too.”

  She followed him to the back of the house where one room was walled in.

  He opened the door. “This is our bedroom. We have a fireplace. Later we will have windows, but we do have shutters. What do you think? Can we live here while we fix up the place?”

  She nodded. It would take work. A lot of work. Just cleaning the place would be a long-time job. “And the kitchen.”

  He grinned and pulled her out the second door of the bedroom. “I figure we can put something in between the kitchen and our room eventually, but this is where it is now. It makes use of the big fireplace in the main room.”

  She walked in. There was a stove. Not a new one, and it looked like the weather had rusted parts of it. “Have you used it at all?”

  “No, not really. Tomorrow morning when I make you breakfast, will be the first time.”

  Florence shook her head. “No, I think that will be my job from now on. I’m your wife, not your queen.”

  He grabbed her to him and kissed her. “You are my queen.”

  “Then this is your castle, and you are the king.” She pulled away and started to clean off the oven. “We need to check it, make sure it isn’t rusted out.”

  “I’ll do that right now.” Jay went to work on the stove and was soon covered in soot and rust.

  Florence brought in her satchel and went to the bedroom. She could tell the bed and the sheets were new. There was a wardrobe to hang her things. She opened the shutters and gasped at the view of the mountain and meadow. She couldn’t have imagined a prettier place.