Hold Me Now

by Addison Moore

  Melissa steps in and takes up my hand. “Just say the word, and we’ll make a run for it. Joel and Russell can hold them back.”

  Shit. I glance out at the angry mob waiting for me to gift Jessie up like some prized side of beef. He is, but still.

  “Okay.” My voice shakes as I struggle to project it. “I’ve made my decision, and if you don’t like it, I suggest you try to live with it.” I turn to Jessie, and he shakes his head and lands a finger over my lips.

  “I’ve made the decision.” Jessie leans in close until his breath warms my lips. His eyes steady over mine, speaking to me, smiling at me all on their own.

  “Wait!” Amanda jumps over, cutting her hands through the air as if calling a tie. “No fair! Both of you have to say it at the same time. Tess or Rachel—say it loud and proud. This ends tonight!”

  It ends tonight. I look to Jessie and blink back tears. Jessie has made his own choice—that means we end tonight, too.

  “On three!” Amanda barks.

  I look to Heather and Melissa, and they both offer a nod of encouragement.

  Amanda spikes up a hand. “Three, two, one—go!”

  “Neither of them,” I say. Jilly and I are firm on that.

  “I choose Jennifer,” Jessie says it in tandem while diving deep into my eyes with that mesmerizing gaze.

  “Who?” I glance over at Tess and Rachel, both with jaws wired to the ground.

  Jessie tucks his finger under my chin and draws me to him. “I choose you.” He breaks out into that killer grin, those tiny divots inverting on either side of his cheeks and the world stills.

  “You choose me?” My voice is barely audible. Jessie chose me. I can’t believe this.

  “You fucking bitch!” Tess lunges at me, clawing my face open with her press-on nails in one clean swipe.

  “Geez.” My hand slaps over my cheek reflexively, and I glance down at my fingers to find traces of pink.

  “We’re done!” Jessie barks at her. “You, too, Rachel.” He softens a little for that last blow. “I’m sorry it didn’t work out, but I’m not doing this with either of you anymore.” He shuttles me deep into the parking lot before pulling me close, his heavy gaze running over my features quickly. “If you don’t want this with me, I get it.” He gives a hard blink. “Actually, I don’t get it. But if you’re into Danny and you want him to be your ‘wild side,’ I’ll support whatever you want.” His expression sours as if those last few words hurt to get out.

  “You want me to be your ‘mild?’” I bite down on the delicious grin begging to break free.

  “Yes,” he says it softly, so sweetly my heart melts straight down to my toes.

  Normally, this would be the part where we would kiss, where I would jump up on his hips and dry hump him while my tongue was buried deep in his mouth, but the Barbie Brigade is descending on us quickly, wielding stilettos and sharpened acrylic nails, perhaps a key or two poking out from their gnarled fists.

  “Let’s ditch this place,” I practically sing the words in fear.

  Jessie unlocks his Corvette, and we jump as he hauls us out of there. I scowl at Tess and Rachel as they shrink in the rearview mirror for ruining what could have been my very first kiss with Glen Heights High’s Best Looking boy of the class of ’86—Jessie Fox. Then a thought occurs to me that sends my stomach tumbling, my muscles trembling, my bones rattling and ready to shatter.

  It’s going to happen.

  I’m finally going to kiss Jessie Fox.

  And I’m going to do it tonight.

  * * *

  Jessie asked if it was okay if we hung out at his place. He said his dad is out of town on business, and Jilly is at a sleepover so we’ll have the whole house to ourselves.

  Of course, I said yes. My entire person is on edge the closer we get to that mansion that sits square on top of The hill. All I can think of is the fact I’m about to be schooled in all things wild by the master himself. Am I going to go all the way? Am I going to do things to his body that I’ve only fantasized about alone in the dark with my hand down my pants? Crap! Did I even bother to shave my freaking legs today? My head pulsates, and my ears clog up with the rapid-fire beating of my heart as he pulls into the driveway.

  We get out and head inside as if this were an ordinary day—as if I were about to head straight for the kitchen and make Jilly a peanut butter and jelly sandwich out of that wheat bread Estella buys that’s hard as birch wood, or that organic peanut butter with inches of oil sitting at the top that you have to stir back in. It totally ruins a good PB&J, by the way. Runny and greasy peanut butter does not a good PB&J make.

  He lets us in, and I do it. With every single nerve in me bouncing, I head straight for the kitchen without saying a word and slap together enough sandwiches to feed the masses.

  “You’re pretty hungry, huh?” He leans over the counter across from me, those amber eyes of his looking practically backlit. Jessie Fox is too gorgeous to comprehend. He’s simply inhuman. What the hell am I doing here again?

  “Oh! This? No, God, I’m totally not hungry.” I jump as he makes his way around the counter. God, he’s going to do it! He’s going to kiss me! Every synapse I own misfires at the thought.

  His forehead creases as if he’s suddenly deep in thought. “Do you have to go home tonight? I mean, I’m all alone, and we can just hang out.” He lifts his hand a moment as if proving he has nothing to hide. “I won’t try anything funny.”

  My stomach detonates in a vat of acid. Did Jessie Fox just ask me to spend the freakin’ night with him? Of course, he did. What did I think was going to happen once I cleaned house and evicted every last member of his happy hickey harem? His hormones are on overdrive, and I’m the only free female within an arm’s length. God, what have I gotten myself into?

  “Should I call my mom?” I press my hands to his chest in a panic. What do girls do when they spend the night at boys’ houses? “I’ll tell her I’m spending the night at Heather’s. That’s my go-to lie.” I slap my fingers over my lips. “I mean, I don’t make it a habit of spending the night at a guy’s house. I just really used the excuse once at prom last year. And I totally didn’t sleep with Frankie Delacruz. I heard that rumor, and I am here to refute it.”

  Jessie’s chest bucks with a quiet laugh as he takes a careful step toward me. His hands rise back in the air a moment.

  “I’m glad to hear you’re spending the night—and, no, I’m not attacking you.” He swipes his finger ever so gently across my injured cheek, and a sad smile comes and goes. “Go ahead and call your mom. I’ll get us both some ice—and milk to go with the feast you’ve prepared.”

  He takes off, and my fingers misdial three different times before I get the number right. The machine picks up, and I’m eternally grateful to the telephone gods for that one small act of telecommunications mercy. I’m so hopped up that I might have blurted out the truth.

  “Hi, Mom. It’s me, Jen. The dance ended early, so I’m just going to hang out with Jessie.” Crap! I clap my hand over my forehead loud enough for Jessie himself to glance over. “I’m spending the night with a friend. I’ll be home in the afternoon. Night. Love you.”

  “Knew it.” He winks, gathering the mountain of sandwiches I created and placing them onto an elegant wooden tray. “You’re too nice to lie to your mom. It’s admirable. That’s what I like about you.”

  “Yeah. Well, tell me how admirable you think it is when my dad shows up with a shotgun.”

  We laugh it off, sort of, as we head on up. Jessie flips on the TV, and we settle on the couch with our matching ice packs over our faces while Dire Straits belts out “Money for Nothing.”

  “I want my MTV,” I say for no reason, and we both crack up like it was the funniest thing in the world. “I guess that’s about as wild as I get.” I curl the bag of ice into my chest a moment just to get the sting off my face.

  “Not true.” Jessie dips his chin, looking up at me with an authoritarian flare that sets my insi
des on fire. “I’m your wild, remember?” He tosses his ice pack onto the table and picks up my hands. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! He’s getting right down to business!

  “Wild,” I say numbly.

  “All those things you talked about doing with Danny”—his eyes ride slowly down my body before riding back up—“you’re going to do them with me. Do you want that?”

  I give a frantic nod.

  “And you’ll teach me what it’s like to have a girlfriend?”

  “I will, I swear it.” I hold my hand up like some pent-up sexually frustrated juror in a court of law.

  Wow, I swear it? Could I sound any more ridiculous and desperate?

  “You can relax.” He pulls my hand down slowly and lays it on my lap. “I’m not going to jump your bones”—he gives the hint of a devilish grin—“just yet.”

  “That’s crude.” I shake my head, and he winces.

  “See? First lesson. Don’t be crude.” The smile melts from his face again, and his lids hood over. Jessie runs his tongue over his lips, looking at me like I was his next favorite meal. “Help me out, Jennifer. What does a good boyfriend do right about now? Because I’m really starting to lose it.”

  “Oh, right.” Crap. How am I supposed to know? I’ve never had a freaking boyfriend! “I think now that we’re officially one another’s teachers—” God, must I make it sound so clinical? “Maybe we should dance. You know, something physical to get our bodies comfortable with one another.” Then, he can totally jump my bones. Ha! What am I saying? I’m not ready for Jessie Fox to jump my anything. I may never be. This is Jessie Freaking Fox! Maybe I should have started small and stuck with Danny. The thought of his pale, lanky body gliding over mine makes my stomach turn. Never mind that I have a perfectly good Jessie Fox ready and willing to fill the position—fill me. Gah! That’s like totally gross! And sorta, kinda, not.

  “Dance.” His brows furrow. “That reminds me. I left something in the car. Give me two seconds.”

  He ditches through the hall with his feet drumming down the stairs, and in about two minutes, he’s right back where he started, panting through a smile. He pulls a neatly wrapped square the size of an album from behind his back. Its metallic black paper catches the light like a dying star, only to be offset with a bright pink bow.

  “Happy Valentine’s Day, Jen.”

  I jump to my feet just staring at the gift, marveling at the fact this is something that Jessie actually picked out for me.

  “I can’t believe this,” I squeal as I carefully run my finger under the seam of the wrapping. “I bet it’s a boat.”

  “I thought for sure you knew it was a TV.”

  “Funny. But they’ll never make a TV this flat.” I peel off the wrapping paper and gasp at the colorful cover. “The Beatles!”

  “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.”

  “I guess this is our initiation to the club.” I hold it out to him. “Let’s play this bad boy. I think it’s time you dance with your girlfriend.” My face slaps with heat. “I mean, if I were your girlfriend. You know, now would be a great time to get the ball rolling.” Kill me.

  His brows furrow. “For argument’s sake, I think we should settle on formal nouns. Boyfriend—girlfriend is fine by me. It will sound a whole lot less suspicious than student—sensei.”

  “Oh?” I laugh as he cues up the record. “And who might I ask is the student and who is the sensei?”

  “I think it’s an even split. Agree?” He comes over just as the title track trumpets through the room. Jessie pauses in front of me as if we’re at an impasse.

  “So, this is it?” Wow. Like really? Way to make it sound as if he’s about to shove me off a cliff.

  He presses those intense toffee-colored eyes into mine. “I want to kiss you.”

  “Down, boy.” My voice shakes with the reprimand. “I think we should, you know, like dance first.” He wants to kiss ME!

  Jessie breaks out that slow, sad grin and wraps his arms around me with his hands pressed heated against my waist. “Can I say that I like it when you’re bossy?” His dimples dip in as if to annunciate his point.

  “Only if you mean it.” I tweak my brows as we sway to the cheery beat as if it were a slow song. Our hips lock tight, my stomach presses over that lump in his jeans, and it’s all I can do not to focus on what may or may not be happening in them. “Um.” I try to swallow past the boxer-sized lump growing in my throat. God, that sounded horrific! I’m a pervert! Every thought I have is somehow intrinsically linked to his sex organs. Wait. Do guys have more than one sex organ? How can I be so stupid! He’s going to need to draw me a map if we ever hope this sex club of ours will work. Sex club! Oh my shit. They say the first step to self-help is admitting a situation exists. I think for me this is that moment.

  “You were going to say something?” His hands move slowly up and down my back, warming me, stirring me to a roiling boil just beneath the surface.

  “I was just going to ask, um, what kinds of things did you want to do tonight?” I shake it off as if, whatever the answer might be, it were no big deal, but something tells me the big deal train has long left the station.

  Jessie gently pinches my chin up toward his, bows his head, and whispers, “This.” His lips fall to mine with a gentle sweep as if testing out the waters while The Beatles fill the room, singing “With a Little Help From My Friends.”

  Jessie pulls back with a heavily hooded, drugged, glazed look in his eyes.

  “I want to do that all night long.” His lips meet mine as he swallows me down. Jessie Fox wants to do just this—kiss me—Jennifer Barkly, all night long.

  Miracle granted.

  I give a slight nod, and he bows into me again. My mouth opens for him as his tongue touches over mine, and a tiny whimper crawls up my throat. He tries to pull away, but I leash him there, holding him to me by the back of his neck, rolling my tongue into the four corners of his mouth as if I suddenly belonged there, as if I were chartering a new frontier, braving the heated elements in search for a new home, and in a way I was.

  My heart drums right up into my throat, but his chest tells me his heart is drumming just as fast. I’m not sure what that means—fear, excitement, a little bit of both? But I am loving it. I’m loving every delicious second of his mouth covering mine. We slow dance that way—with our lips sealed over one another well into “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.” After that, I can’t hear the music, the TV fighting for our attention. All that exists, all that I ever want to exist is his hot mouth fused to mine, his heated hands branding themselves against my back.

  Jessie Fox and I are happening.

  Mild just met wild in the most delicious way.

  Jessie

  There are a few moments in my life that stand out to me—making my first touchdown as a varsity player for Glen. The time our basketball travel club won the season and the tournament a few years back. The day Jilly was born. I remember that day, feeling big and strong, ready to protect that tiny being from whatever came our way. I knew even then we were on our own. But this moment, this feeling, whatever it is, feels just as life-altering, just as big as if something new had arrived into the world, and once again I want to protect this from whatever comes our way. I have kissed more than my fair share of girls, but never before has it felt this fucking amazing, this powerful, this earth-shattering in the best way possible. Jennifer Barkly is teaching me things all right. She’s teaching me that everything I thought I knew, everything I believed I could teach her, was and is essentially a cardboard cutout of what it could have been—what it’s becoming between the two of us. I probably won’t admit it, but I have a feeling I’ll be learning everything from A to Z right along with her.

  My lips tread a line straight to her neck, and I take a gentle bite. Sweet. Juicy. My mouth salivated the first day I saw her beautiful neck. Don’t get me wrong. I’m an ass man, a tit man for sure, but I’ve always been drawn to this tender part of the female anatomy.r />
  Jennifer loops her arms high over my shoulder, those brilliant jade eyes smiling up at mine. “What do we do now, Sensei?”

  A dark laugh rumbles from me.

  “We get to bed.” I scoop her up, and she squeals and giggles as I flip the TV off and head to my room.

  I’ll admit, it’s not the cleanest, definitely not the neatest room in the house, and right about now, I’m regretting my insistence that Ramona not touch what she’s dubbed “Mount Smelly,” a snaking vine of old sweaty socks with the obligatory boxers thrown into the mix. The truth is, I wanted to do my own laundry once a week. I don’t really dig the idea of Ramona fluffing and folding my tighty-whities—not that there is a tighty-whitey in the bunch.

  “I don’t care.” Jennifer hikes her shoulders for a moment as I come in for the landing over the mattress, settling us both down with a thud.

  “Don’t care about what?” I kick my shoes off, take off the sweater and tie that’s been strangling me all night long. I catch her face bleaching out like plaster at the sight of me disrobing and feel like crap. “Sorry. I swear this is it.” I touch my hand to my dress shirt.

  “Oh, I meant about the clothes on the floor. I saw you make a face when we walked in. I—I just wanted you to know it’s not a big deal.”

  My hand accidently bumps her hip, and she jumps.

  “It’s okay. I promise I just wanted us to hang out. We can watch TV in here.” My heart breaks seeing her so wound up with fear. “And thanks about the clothes.” I give a sheepish smile, never taking my eyes off hers while flipping on the tube. I reach over and turn off the lamp, letting the monochromatic hues rinse the room in a cool bath. “I’m not going to do anything that you don’t want to do. In fact, that out there? That’s about as wild as we get for tonight.”

  “Wow. The sensei has very little faith in his young grasshopper.”