by L A Cotton
By the time we arrived at the Hassons’, nervous energy coursed through my veins.
“Relax,” Hailee said. “It’s going to be fine.”
“Did you watch the same game I did?” I asked incredulously. “We practically got our asses handed to us.”
“It was one game and it isn’t like they needed the win or anything.”
“Hails, you have so much still to learn.”
She chuckled, cutting the engine. “I know I talked you into coming tonight for Jason; but confession time, I partly did it for me.”
“Hails, he’s seen the portrait. He knows how good you are.”
“I know but this is different.” Her voice cracked. “It’s like baring myself to everyone, and that terrifies me.”
I twisted around to her. “You are so talented, babe. You have nothing to be worried about. Mr. Jalin managed to fix the damaged portraits and everyone is going to love them. All of them. This is your time to shine, Hails.”
She gave me a slight nod, but I could see the fear in her eyes. Reaching over, I squeezed her hand. “You’ve got this.”
“We’ve got this.” Her smile grew.
“Ride or die.”
“Ride or die.” Hailee gave me a small nod, before we got out of the car and made our way around the side of the house. The team were already there, their expressions somber, the mood still tense.
“Ah, Miss Raine,” Coach Hasson made his way over. “Just the person I wanted to see.”
“Hi, Coach, tough game.”
“Hmm.” His lips pressed into a thin line. “We’re not going to dwell on that tonight. We’re here to celebrate our seniors and your talent. Mr. Jalin informed me of the incident.” The way he said it suggested he knew there was more to it than what he’d been told.
“Unfortunate to have happened the day before the presentation,” he added.
Hailee tensed but kept her expression neutral. “These things happen. I’m just relieved Mr. Jalin had the foresight to take photographs of them.”
“Indeed. Now if I could borrow you for a quick moment to run through the plan.”
“Hmm, sure.” Hailee looked to me and I nodded.
“Go, I’ll be fine.” Glancing around the Hassons’ yard, I spotted Asher and Cameron with their parents. The rest of the players were standing with their families.
But not Jason.
He was sat in a chair on the edge of the gathering, drinking a beer. Jenna Jarvis sat proudly on his lap, like the Queen Bitch she was. A potent mix of anger and jealousy skittered up my spine when her eyes lifted to mine and glittered with victory.
“Flick, what’s... Oh.” Hailee reappeared. “What the hell is he playing at? She isn’t even supposed to be here, it’s a closed event,” she mumbled beneath her breath.
“It’s fine,” I steeled myself, ignoring the ache in my chest. “Let’s go get our seats.”
“You’re sure?”
“I’m here now, aren’t I?” And it wasn’t like seeing Jenna all over Jason was new to me. I’d been there and done that enough times, I didn’t just own the t-shirt, I had that crap trademarked.
I trailed after Hailee, keeping my eyes ahead. If Jason noticed me, he didn’t let it be known. Asher on the other hand, beamed at me as we approached the long table. They had been arranged in a giant U shape with the lectern at the front surrounded by Hailee’s portraits behind in a sweeping arc, and rows behind for the rest of the guests.
“Fee, baby, this is a surprise,” Asher said quietly, his gaze moving past me, probably to Jason.
“Hailee invited me as her plus one.”
“Screw that, you can be my plus one. Come on.” He patted the seat beside him.
“Isn’t someone sitting there?”
“You.” He smiled and some of my nerves subsided.
“Hey, Felicity,” Cameron added once I was seated. “How are you?”
“I’m good. Sorry for gate-crashing.” I gave him a tight smile.
“Never. You’re Hailee’s best friend which makes you one of us. Besides I think Mrs. Hasson got carried away with all the food. The more the merrier.”
“Thanks.” Before I could stop myself, I’d lifted my gaze over to where Jason and Jenna sat. He looked indifferent, barely touching her, but she was wrapped around him, hands splayed on his chest, her body turned into him slightly, sending a clear signal to everyone—to me—that tonight, Jason belonged to her.
“He’s pissed we lost,” Cameron said.
“Nah, he’s pissed his head wasn’t in it and that’s why we lost.”
“Ash,” Cam warned.
“He needs to figure his shit out before the play-offs or we can kiss State goodbye.”
“What?” I asked, the three of them staring at me.
“You should talk to him.” That was Asher.
“She’s going to, right, Flick?” Hailee added. “After the presentation.”
“I, uh, I guess.” My eyes found him again only this time he was staring back. His eyes narrowed and dark. Anger rippled off him, palpable even from our position all the way across the yard.
“Ignore her.” Asher leaned in.
“Easy for you to say.” I tried to give him an easy smile, but I knew it probably looked strained.
“He doesn’t want her. She’s just convenient. Or a bad habit. Yeah, she’s a bad habit.” His lip kicked up.
“You know what they say about bad habits, right?” I said. “They’re hard to break.” My stomach sank.
“Don’t give up on our guy yet. I don’t know what happened today but something’s eating at him.” I gave him a pointed look and he added, “More than usual.”
“You really want me to do this?” The words flew out of my mouth. “Me and Jason?”
Asher sucked in a harsh breath, his eyes shuttering. But when they opened again, he was looking at me with nothing but understanding. “Did I wish for a second that things could be different? That maybe I’d caught your eye first? Hell yeah, I do.” He swallowed thickly. “But you can’t help who you fall for and I always knew it was you and him.”
“I’m not sure there’s a me and him, Asher.”
“That’s because Jason doesn’t know how to let people in. He doesn’t know how to trust anyone. But you’re changing him, Fee, baby. Which is why you can’t give up on him yet. He might not realize it yet, but he needs you. And something tells me, you need him too.”
“I...” The words died on my lips. “You’re a good friend, Asher Bennet. He’s lucky to have you.”
“You’ve got me too.” He grinned. “No matter what happens, I’ll always be here for you.”
“That means a lot. You’re going to make some girl very happy one day.”
“I’m not so sure about that.” He chuckled, but it came out strangled. “Here we go.”
I followed Asher’s line of sight to where Coach Hasson was standing next to the lectern. Jason had finally moved to an empty seat at the table. Of course it had to be right opposite me. His hard gaze burned into the side of my face as I tried to concentrate on Coach Hasson.
“Okay, okay, settle down.” He waited for silence to fall over the yard. “Tonight we celebrate our seniors. Their commitment and dedication, their leadership and talent. But it isn’t only a celebration of the past, it’s a celebration of the future. Of the young men you’re becoming and the doors that await you. I have a whole other speech somewhere,” he pretended to check his pockets, “But for now, I’m going to hand it over to a man who knows all about what it takes to be the best. Kent Ford.”
Hailee stiffened beside me and I leaned in. “Did you know about this?”
“He never said a word,” she whispered.
“Maybe that’s why he was off his game.” It would make sense. Everyone knew there was no love lost between Jason and his father, despite the united front Mr. Ford liked to present to everyone.
Jason’s dad moved to the lectern, brushing down the lapels of his dinner jacket. He looke
d good, much like an older Jason. Same unruly brown hair, same dark intense eyes. But age had mellowed him, or maybe that was Hailee’s mom. Either way, he looked happy. He looked like a man content with life. A man in love.
I found Hailee’s mom in the outer row of seats. She beamed at her husband, radiating happiness. “Look at your mom,” I said quietly.
“I’d rather not,” Hailee groaned.
“Hey.” I took her hand under the table. “She’s happy. They’re happy. I know she hurt you, but you can’t help who you fall in love with.” God, I sounded like Mya and Asher. I knew Hailee carried a lot of resentment toward her mom and the lies she’d told. But if I’d learned anything over the last few weeks, it was that sometimes your head and heart went to war and it wasn’t always your head that came out the winner.
It was so easy to judge, but it wasn’t until you were in that situation, trying to do the right thing, that you realized just how powerful the heart was. I mean, here I was, completely aware that Jason didn’t want me, not the way I wanted him, but I was willing to put myself on the line one more time to try to reach him. To try to show him that sometimes you had to take a risk.
“Hey,” Hailee nudged my shoulder, “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” I flashed her a weak smile. “I’m fine.” The lie was so regular now, it rolled off my tongue with ease. Even if every time the two little words spilled from my lips, it killed another little piece of my heart.
Jason
I wanted to run. The urge to get up and walk away from my old man, from Coach, my teammates, and best friends, Hailee, even Felicity, coursed through me. Like deadly poison, it burned, eating away at my soul.
The last thing I wanted to do was sit here and listen to Kent Ford spout shit about hard work and sacrifice and family. Because he was a liar. Sure he’d loved the game, and he was a damn good player back in the day, one of the best, but he didn’t know what it meant to make sacrifices. He was a have-your-cake-and-eat-it kind of guy, and like so many players before him, I suspected he loved what the game could do for him more than the game itself.
But still, I didn’t move.
People thought I was cold, that I didn’t care. Sometimes I wondered if I cared too damn much. I just didn’t let people see it.
“Welcome to Seniors Night,” his strong voice carried across the Hasson’s yard, “The final home game of any season always holds a special place in my heart, but tonight was something else. Tonight, I watched my son continue the Ford legacy in Raider history. It’s just a shame his game was off, but what player doesn’t have his ups and downs.” He gave the crowd an easy smile, even earned a laugh or two. But I wasn’t laughing. I wasn’t even smiling. Because I knew it wasn’t a joke.
He and Coach were pissed we didn’t get the win and they weren’t the only ones, My old man was telling me in front of everyone I hadn’t been good enough tonight and it fucking burned. So much so, part of me wished I’d have gotten up at his wedding and talked about his failure as a father and husband just to see how he fucking liked it.
The feeling of never quite being good enough, even though you thought you gave your all.
But the truth was my head wasn’t in it tonight. Too consumed with Thatcher’s latest threat. With Felicity’s sea-green gaze every time she’d looked my way at school. I couldn’t tell anyone about Thatcher though. Until I figured out what the fuck to do, I had to lie and pretend everything was fine.
Everything was not fucking fine.
It was falling to shit around me. The pieces of my carefully constructed world falling apart all because I couldn’t keep my dick in my pants and out of the girl who made me fucking crazy.
“I know all about the sacrifice and dedication; the blood, sweat, and tears that go into winning a State Championship,” Dad flashed his championship ring to his enthralled audience, “that’s why I know you’ll bring it home this season. Because you’re fighters. Because you’re the best. Because you’re Raiders. And Raiders—”
“Never quit,” rang out around me, reverberating through me, stoking a fire in my soul. Even though I was pissed, even though this was the last place on Earth I wanted to be right now, it didn’t matter. Football was in my blood, part of my DNA, and when my teammates and our supporters cheered our name, it called to something inside me.
My eyes found Felicity across the yard. She was watching me, a faint smile gracing her lips. Why she was here I had no fucking idea, but deep down, I wanted to believe she came for me. Not that I could ever tell her that.
“Okay, okay, I’m going to wrap this up so we can get to the good stuff.”
“Yeah, Mrs. H’s chicken wings,” someone yelled, earning him a round of hoots and hollers.
Dad grabbed his drink off the lectern and raised it high. “To the seniors of 2019. May your futures be filled with opportunity, success, and most of all… football.”
The place erupted, everyone cheering for the man I hated so much I could barely look at him. It probably wasn’t healthy, the amount of resentment and bitterness I carried around with me, but I didn’t know how to let go.
I didn’t know how to forgive him.
Parents were supposed to set the standard. They were supposed to help shape us into the adults we would one day become. Which meant I could look forward to becoming a cheating son of a bitch who cared more about looking good in front of his town, and getting his dick wet, than his family.
The man of the moment approached me. “Jason,” he stuck out his hand. “I’m proud of you, Son. So damn proud.”
I stared at his hand, wishing I could leave him hanging. But everyone was watching, waiting to see the special moment between father and son.
“Thanks,” I choked out, grabbing his hand and shaking.
His eyes held so many apologies, but it was too little too late. I wasn’t sure we’d ever find our way back to one another. Not after everything.
Coach chose that exact moment to intervene and I breathed a sigh of relief as Dad took his seat. “Thank you, Kent,” he said, offering a nod of appreciation. “I know it means a lot to the team to have you here. You’re a true inspiration to the guys and proof that dreams can come true.
“Now we move onto the presentation. Every year, I like to give each of my seniors a token gift to remember their time at Rixon High. To remind them where they came from. This year, we’ve done something a little different. In an effort to work across departments, I approached Mr. Jalin, our arts director, about an exciting opportunity for one of his students. Miss Raine, if you’d like to come up here.”
I watched from across the way as Hailee stood up, cheeks flushed and eyes wide, and walked toward the coach.
“What Miss Raine has created for this year’s presentation is nothing other than incredible. And I hope you’ll join me in applauding her talent. Seniors of 2019, we present your senior year portraits.” He and Hailee began uncovering each portrait. The crowd hushed into awed silence. Even I couldn’t deny the impact of the nine paintings side by side.
“I think you’ll agree they really are something special.”
“Thank you,” my step-sister said, barely able to look at her audience.
One by one, Coach called up the seniors, presenting them with their portrait. Hailee posed for photos, graciously accepting a chaste kiss on the cheek from each of them, all except Asher who picked her up and twirled her around, and Cam who pulled her into his arms and kissed the crap out of her, audience be damned.
“And last but by no means least, our quarterback and captain, Jason Ford.”
The crowd’s applause faded into white noise as I got up and moved toward Hailee. She was smiling at me with such uncertainty, I felt like a complete shit. But when I reached her and she wrapped her arms around me, it was my turn to choke. Hailee didn’t speak, she didn’t need to. That one gesture spoke volumes.
When she pulled away, her smile was no longer uncertain but full of understanding. It only twisted the knife deeper. I’d been s
uch a dick to her: making her life hell ever since she arrived in Rixon. Yet, here she was forgiving me for everything as if it was the simplest thing in the world.
“I hope you like it,” she said taking the framed photo down from the easel and presenting it to me.
I’d seen the portrait yesterday, but it had been ruined with red and white paint splashes.
“Well, Son,” Coach said, filling the awkward silence. “What do you think?”
“I...” The words lodged in my throat along with the giant fucking lump that had been there for the last couple of minutes.
“I think you’ve stunned him into silence.”
Hailee’s brows furrowed. “Are you okay?” she whispered.
“It’s good, really good,” I managed to choke out. “Thanks.”
“Okay, now we’ve got all the formalities out of the way,” Coach declared, “let’s eat.”
Mrs. Hasson and some of the other player’s moms began uncovering all the food laid out on a long table at the edge of the gazebo. Most of the guys wasted no time joining the line. But Cam and Asher came over to us. “You’ve been holding out on us, Hails,” Ash said.
“You saw them yesterday.”
“No, I saw the mess Thatcher made.” I winced at the mention of his name. “You’re super talented and I don’t know about these two goons, but I’ll be hanging mine above my bed.”
“Thanks, I think,” she chuckled.
“Where’s Fee?” he asked.
“She’s hmm,” Hailee’s eyes flicked to mine, “around.”
Code for: she didn’t know if she should come over here.
My chest tightened.
“Are you hungry?” Cam asked her.
“I could eat.” Hailee blushed, and I groaned.
“Seriously, can you two at least pretend to be talking about food.” Shouldering past him, I headed for the line, only to be intercepted by Felicity.
“Hi,” she said, her smile not quite reaching her eyes.
“Hey.”
She winced at my cool tone, but shook it off maintaining eye contact. “I just wanted to say congratulations.”
“Thanks.” I went to move around her, needing to get away, but she grabbed my arm. “I was hoping we could talk, later, maybe?”
