I tried not to laugh, but April was one of those people who had that kind of unstoppable confidence where she would say or do anything, probably without even thinking about it. That could be very entertaining.
“I’m not sure,” I said. “I haven’t really had my eye on anyone, but that’s extremely frowned upon in my understanding. The Chief gave me a huge lecture on that when I was first hired.”
She sighed. “Yeah, that is a bummer, and they are deadly serious about that no fraternization garbage. But it’s still fun to pretend.”
I was a bit curious now. “Do you think there are people who are having relationships without anyone knowing?” I wondered if it was even possible with a unit that close.
She laughed. “Maybe, but I think it would be pretty hard. You can usually tell that sort of thing. People in that close of an environment who have those types of strong feelings for each other are very obvious. You can see the flirty glances, the occasional touch, and you hear about them being spotted different places together. It’s just not wise to try to game that system. But it’s fun as hell to fantasize about.”
“I guess,” I replied. “I imagine that would be difficult. Has this rule been in place long?”
She shrugged. “Ever since I’ve been with the department. So that’s five years now.”
I thought April looked younger than that, but I was a bit intrigued.
“So, I’m curious, what do your folks do? I mean, this place can’t be cheap to be a member of.”
“They are both doctors,” she said. “Boring.”
“So, I take it you never had the desire to follow in their footsteps?”
She laughed. “No. I grew up watching them both work eighty hours a week to pay for the ridiculous house we had and the nice cars. They have always been the types to enjoy that type of lifestyle, but I got bored with it quickly. Besides, I would be bored to tears working in some stuffy job like that. I’ve always been an adrenaline junky. I love extreme sports, and I always gravitated towards fun, physical types of jobs. School was never really my thing.”
“Did your parents ever give you a hard time about it and try to force you to get an education and all that?”
“Sure, they did,” she said. “But they know me and they learned early on that I’m going to march to the beat of my own drummer.”
“That’s cool,” I said. “I admire that you stuck to your guns and went the path you wanted to go down.”
“That’s the way you do it,” she replied. “You can’t live according to other people’s plans. By the way, you never answered my question.”
“Which one?”
“Who do you like? What guy is tickling your fancy?”
I smiled. “Well, I did have a bit of a connection with Gary. I mean, it’s probably nothing, but I think he is interesting.’
April’s demeanor changed suddenly. Her face grew a bit cold and she shifted her body language as she took a big drink. She sat up straighter and looked deeply into my eyes. “Now, it’s a good thing we have this rule in place, because a guy like Gary is guaranteed to lead any woman to heartbreak.”
“Really? Why do you say that?”
“Let’s just say, he has a lot of baggage going on. I mean, he is a veteran on the team, and he generally gets along well with everybody, but there are a lot of rumors going on that he is just not the type of guy you want to date. He is very much into himself, his space, and even though he has a lot of friends on the crew, I don’t think anyone can say that they actually know the man. He is really off in his own world, and he wants to stay that way.”
I was taken aback. April really did seem to know a lot about Gary. Her words hit home, mostly because they described myself in a lot of ways. Gary wanted to be alone. There was nothing wrong with that, but he was still nice and sociable. He had friends in the company and I’d witnessed this myself. He was likeable and very well respected.
I couldn’t help but feel that maybe, April had a thing for Gary and didn’t like the idea of someone else, especially the new girl, encroaching on her turf, even though she wasn’t going to do anything about her feelings due to the strict company policy.
Something told me I did not want to get on April’s bad side, but someone should have told her that she definitely did not want to get on mine.
“I see,” I said. “Well, it’s just a feeling I had. He is a great looking guy, right? And of course I would never dream of going against the company policy to ask him out or anything.”
“Yeah, that’s good. Being the new girl especially, they are going to have you under a bit of a microscope, to make sure you toe the line.”
April laughed. The tension was easing a bit, but I couldn’t get over the fact that she had gotten so mad about that. It was actual anger; that was what bothered me so much. Did she and Gary have some sort of history together? Maybe there was more going on there then I really was aware of. For now, I would just play it safe and stay under the radar, but April’s plan had backfired. If she wanted me to forget about Gary, I was now more intrigued about him than ever.
We finished our drinks and then parted ways. When I got home, I pulled up my laptop and did a bit of snooping. I checked Gary out online, just trying to see what I might be able to dig up about him, but of course I only found the typical stuff. Most of what I knew about him was on social media, something I did not do much with. Ever since I lost Edward, I had no real reason to share anything about myself with the world. Most of what I would share would probably just bring others down, but I knew I was getting better. Little by little, I was starting to heal. The fond memories were outweighing the thought that I would never get to see him again.
I finished my search by pulling up a few photos of Gary. He was such a great looking guy and there was a warmth behind his eyes that I gravitated to. And as I searched more deeply there, I could see the pain that he felt. I could feel that there was more to him, something he kept closed off from the world. I might have been wrong, but this was something I could identify with. I wanted to believe that we were kindred spirits and that was why I had this weird connection with him, though we’d talked just briefly.
I believed it was the physical contact that really helped to solidify this attraction between the two of us. That was it. That’s what it was.
But was it all one sided? Did he feel this with me at all? Or was I just fooling myself? Maybe April was right and he had no intention of ever letting anyone into his inner circle.
I wasn’t sure why I kept thinking so much about him, but since that first day when I’d demonstrated the lesson with him, I’d felt so close to him that I couldn’t let it go. I wanted him with me. I wanted to feel him close to me.
And consequences be damned, I wanted him to make sweet love to me.
I just wanted to feel that again. I needed to feel that yearning and that sense of completeness. I needed that emotional and physical connection with a man again. I felt guilty for acknowledging those needs, but there they were. And I knew that Ed would want me to move on.
But I couldn’t with Gary. It was just too risky.
Chapter Five
Gary
“Strike!”
I heard Max yell behind me so loudly it almost startled me into jumping out of my formation as I watched my bowling ball collide with the pins and take them all down in one big crash. I loved that sound so much. Bowling was one of those past times of mine that I had never let go of. Ever since I was twelve and my dad taught me the basics of the game, I had fallen in love with hit. For a bit, I was even interested in pursuing it as a full time career, but I never really had that level of talent and ball mastery.
But I still played at least twice a week, and often much more.
Tuesday nights were our bowling league night. Max, Richie, Shawn, Charlie, and I would go to Jack’s Bowlarama and take on team after team, week after week, and drink a few beers along the way. It was a fun, leisurely activity that we enjoyed whether or not we actually won, which
it was about a fifty-fifty split on that.
“That’s it,” Richie said. “That’s the game. Good shot!”
I high fived my friends and we shook hands with the guys on the other team. This game had been a real nail biter, and somehow at the last minute I had pulled a strike out of somewhere and we had achieved victory. I felt good. The stress of the week was slowly melting off my shoulders. The crew had already responded to two nasty fires this week so far and I was hoping that the rest of the week might go much more smoothly. Of course in both fires no one was hurt, and we were able to salvage most of the property, so it could have been far worse.
“Good job,” Charlie said. “That’s how it’s done.”
“Well, it all wouldn’t have been down to me if you had actually pulled your weight this week,” I teased him. “You bowled a one twenty. That’s lame, dude.”
We all averaged over two hundred per game, especially Charlie. He was usually a great bowler. Tonight he had been off his game. I thought he might have been hung over at first, but I could see that wasn’t it. There was something going on though. It wasn’t like him to have such a bad night.
“I told you, I tweaked my wrist last night,” Charlie said.
“Doing what?” I asked.
“Do we even want to know?” Richie joked.
Charlie gave him a mocking, laughing face. “I was helping my dad move something out of his garage. I guess I didn’t notice he stopped lifting because he got a back spasm, and the weight of this damn thing toppled back on me and I barely got out of the way before it dinged my wrist completely. So, cut me some slack.”
I laughed and shook my head. Charlie was always getting into something weird and having uneventful things happening to him. He was a fun, entertaining guy to be around, but his life was full of all sorts of weird antics and crazy stories.
“Ok, I’m sorry,” Richie said in a very condescending voice. “We didn’t know…”
We all shared a laugh. Charlie sighed, disgusted. “You guys suck.”
“We know this,” I said. “It’s part of our team motto.”
I grabbed my ball off the return and placed it in my bag. Then I sat down to change my shoes. Charlie sat down beside me. “So, what are you doing this weekend?”
I tried to think. “I thought I might go skydiving, or maybe hop on a plane to Niagara Falls, but nothing is set in stone, yet. Why?”
He ignored my jokes. “The Cubs are playing the Braves. I got an extra ticket. Wanna go?”
“Sure. That sounds good.”
“Awesome.”
“Why do you have an extra ticket?”
“A date I had fell through.”
“Ah, did she cancel or did you?”
“She did,” he replied. “She apparently has a work thing that she can’t get out of.”
“So, she is lying?” I asked.
“Oh, yeah. That goes with the territory. No biggie. Now you and I can have a blast at the game.”
“You have a very refreshing attitude that is utterly immune to rejection. Are you just that big of a narcissist?”
He laughed. “Yep. It works for me. I gotta run. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Ok,” I said. “Talk to you later.”
Charlie left and I said goodbye to the rest of the guys. I packed my shoes in my bag, grabbed it, and started to head home. I was thinking I might pop in a frozen pizza and watch a movie. It was still early enough.
I was almost to the door when something caught my eye. A beautiful woman was bowling by herself a few lanes down from where our league had finished up. She must have just started because I had not noticed her until right now, and a woman this stunning would not have escaped me. In fact, she probably would have been a huge distraction to my game.
And after a moment of watching her, I knew why. She actually looked very familiar to me. As I observed her rolling a long, winding roll that hooked towards the end and only grabbed two pins, I realized that this was a woman I had seen before.
It was Shelly.
What were the odds?
I sauntered over to her and waited until she was done with her current roll before I tried to talk to her. “Hey,” I said. “Funny meeting you here.”
Shelly smiled up at me, surprised and a maybe a bit embarrassed. “Hey, how’s it going?”
“Good. Just finishing up league night. I didn’t know you bowled.”
“You never asked me,” Shelly said with a grin.
“That’s true,” I replied.
“And I don’t bowl,” Shelly said. “I’m really just trying to get a handle on it.”
“What sparked the interest in this sport?”
“You will probably laugh,” she said.
I sat my bag down on a chair. “Try me.”
“I was watching it on television and I figured it might be a good way to relax.”
“Yeah, the stress of the job will do that to you.”
“I feel bad even comparing my stress to what you have. You guys are out in the field. I haven’t been out there in a little while. But I do worry that I haven’t done my job well enough if one of you gets hurt. That sort of thing keeps me up at night, so I thought I might just try some bowling and see if that helps.”
“It is a good recipe for calming the mind,” I agreed. “It’s probably one of the reasons that I do it.”
“Would you like to give me some pointers? All of my rolls keep going to the left,” Shelly said.
“Sure,” I said. “Happy to help.”
I looked around instinctively as if trying to make sure that no one else from work was around. I did not need any rumors being spread about Shelly and I getting too close. And I was honestly a bit apprehensive about us getting closer. I had a crazy, strong attraction to her and I wanted to hold her in my arms, pull her close, and kiss her strongly on the lips, but those impulses could very easily get us both fired.
Shelly grabbed her ball and looked to me for some guidance. “Ok, now the thing you want to remember is that when you bowl, you want to keep your wrist straight, but not rigid. And when you release, you need to step forward, bend down with the back leg, and then bring your arm through. That’s important to have that basic foundation. So let’s roll a few that way.”
Shelly followed my instructions. She knelt down the way I showed her and stepped forward with it. Then she brought her arm through and released the ball. Her hand was pointing towards the center pin when she let go of the ball. It rolled down the lane and hit the center pin, knocking several down but leaving a split.
“Well, that was better,” Shelly said.
“It was much better,” I replied. “That’s great. Now the next step is that you want to aim for the center pin and the pin to the left or the right of it. You never want to hit it dead on or you will very likely leave a split like this one.”
“Ah, ok,” Shelly said.
“Take a crack at the split and see if you can hit those two on the end. You most likely won’t slide the inner pin over to hit the other pin. That’s a very tough move for even a pro to pull off. And you might be tempted to move to the side in front of it, but all your shots should be released from the center of the lane. That way you have all the boards to work with.”
Shelly rolled the ball down the lane and nailed those two pins, leaving one remaining. When the balls were set back up, I proceeded with the lesson.
“Ok, now have you ever hooked the ball before?” I asked.
“You mean like the pros? I’ve always wanted to try that. There has to be some crazy trick to it, right?”
I nodded. “There is, but it takes practice.”
“Can you show me?” Shelly asked.
I loved hearing the way she asked a question so innocently, but it made me feel like she was insinuating something else. I leaned in closer to her so I could demonstrate this properly.
“Sure,” I said. “Here, what you want to do is hold the ball this way.”
I positioned her hands so
that her wrist was straight and her other hand was on top of the ball. “You want to put your fingers in the hole just up to the knuckle so that the ball can slip quickly off your fingers and then the spin will take over and start creating the hook.”
My hand was grazing against hers as I showed her the way. I loved touching her, even a small innocent touch such as this had so many layers and levels of innuendo to it. I couldn’t help but feel so attracted to her that I thought I was going to split in two at any moment. I could feel the sweat dripping down my back and I was tempted to wipe my brow, but that would have only displayed to her that I was a bit nervous and I did not want to give her any inclination that I was having these romantic thoughts about her.
I smiled at her and then looked back down at the ball. “Now, when you release the ball, you want to bring the ball straight back and as your foot steps down in front of you, then you shift your weight and create that momentum. As you bring your arm forward you turn your hand over partway with a sharp twist on the ball as you release it. And you release the ball from a higher place than normal. This gives it a strong placement as it hits the lane and starts its journey. Now, you give it a go.”
Shelly did as I had instructed her and her form looked perfect. As she bent down and began to roll, my eyes automatically dropped to her backside. She had the most magnificent ass I’d ever seen. It was tight and on full display in her tight, dark blue jeans. I couldn’t stop staring at it. But I quickly became aware I was staring at it and forced my eyes to move upwards. This was so hard. Why couldn’t I make my feelings known to her? This policy was idiotic. It harmed more than it helped.
I watched as her ball rolled down the lane and then curved hard at the last moment and hit just a bit past where she was aiming. She knocked down eight pins. Shelly jumped up cheering for herself. “Alright, that was great. I felt it actually spinning off my hand differently.”
“That’s the thing,” I said. “It just takes practice until you feel it going the right way. Then you really have to trust that it will happen the way you feel it should. That’s part of it, really just believe in it.”
Slow Burn (Forbidden Heat Book 3) Page 4
