“Ok,” I said. “I’m listening.” I tried to keep my voice as calm as I could. Inside I was exploding.
“I found out I was pregnant, the day before I left,” Shelly said.
The words hung in the air, settling down slowly over me, pushing their full weight against my being until I felt like I was being crushed to death. What was she saying? Really? This was happening?
“You… we…” I started. I felt the emotions rising up in me. I held it together the best I could, but I knew that I was about to fall apart. This was too much, way more than anything I ever could have expected.
“Yes,” she said. Shelly was wiping tears from her eyes now. “I left because I knew that this would ruin your career. You were being promoted and everyone was going to know I was pregnant and that the baby was yours. Your promotion, your job—everything would have been taken away from you. I couldn’t do that to you. This job means everything to you. It’s your reason for living. I made the choice that you would be better off without me.”
“You made that choice for me?” I asked. “Well, let me tell you something. That was the wrong fucking choice. Yes, the job means everything to me, but that is not before you. Baby, you mean everything to me. Our child would have meant everything to me. Our child… what happened?” I braced myself for possible more bad news. No… please… don’t tell me something happened…
“We have a two year old daughter named Amber,” Shelly said. “She is in preschool right now. It’s just a few blocks away.”
I was trembling now with emotion. “I have a daughter? We… baby…”
I was trying to keep it together and not lose myself completely, but it was so hard. I couldn’t ever imagine being in any more distress.
“Yes,” Shelly said. “We have a daughter. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you. It was with the best intentions, you have to believe me. I knew that this would have made you bitter and unhappy if I’d stayed. You did not need this in your life then.”
“Oh, come off it,” I was getting mad. “You took this from me. I have a daughter I didn’t even know existed and now you act like keeping this from me was a good idea. It was for my own benefit. That wasn’t your decision to make. Do you really think I’d put a job over you and our baby?”
I was standing up now pacing back and forth. I felt broken, as if everything about my life was a total lie.
“I’m so sorry. I really never meant to hurt you. I love you so much. I have dreamt of you incessantly ever since then. You have to believe me.”
I knew she was telling the truth. I could see it in her eyes. I could not stay mad at her no matter what. I just wanted her. I wanted our daughter. I wanted my family. This had happened for a reason, and even though she’d betrayed me and deceived me all this time, I could not help the way I felt about the love of my life. I knew I would forgive her, even if I couldn’t stop the anger in the moment.
Looking into her eyes, I knew that this was going to be ok. We would be together. And more importantly, I was the Chief now. I was in charge. If there was some policy here that would keep me from Shelly and my baby, then I would just overturn it.
I was going to have my family once and for all.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Shelly
One Month Later…
He’d popped the question. It had happened last night, but all I’d done since that moment was replay it over and over again in my mind, as if it was stuck some kind of loop. I just couldn’t stop looking at it. The ring was so beautiful. The moment was priceless. I would always remember it.
Gary had taken me to La Fleyer, a French restaurant that he’d heard about. The atmosphere was amazing, the music was amazing, and the food was the most delicious thing I’d ever tasted. Every single taste was like I’d taken a plane to Paris. That was how perfect it was.
The past month had been a bit of whirlwind. After I told Gary everything, he was very angry with me, which I totally expected. But after his anger had subsided, he was actually very gracious and understanding. We talked some things over and by the end of the conversation both of us knew that this was going to work this time. We held all the cards and we were going to do what was best for us and our family.
The moment that Gary had laid eyes on Amber was the most precious thing. He looked as if he might melt. The tears of total joy would not stop coming. He was sobbing so much that Amber kept asking, “Why is he so sad?”
Gary picked her up and held her as Amber showed him all the wonderful things in her room, and then they played tea party together for a bit. Gary fell right into the role and instantly fell in love with his child.
It was only a few weeks before Amber started to call him daddy. We did our best to explain to her that he was her real daddy and that he had been away for a while because of work, but now he would be there with us all the time. Gary moved into my house that week and we started to feel like a real family. It was wonderful.
And now we were getting married. The world had turned around into our favor, finally. It was miraculous to think about how it all came together. For so long I didn’t know what was really going to happen, or if I would ever actually get to see Gary again. I knew I would make that phone call eventually, but what would happen next was anyone’s guess.
Gary fell into his role as the new chief as well. He loved being the boss and he loved his new team. They really were a great team that he was working with. They were all surprised to hear that we were actually a thing and that now we were engaged, mostly because they’d never even heard me mention him before and now he was the Chief and my fiancée, all within a few weeks. Life would do that to you sometimes. You had to stay on your toes to get ready for whatever came next. That was one of the most important things I’d learned in my time.
I finished preparing the training class lesson plans for the next few weeks. There were some things we had to work on and some things that we had to do entirely differently from now on. That was the job, always changing. And I loved it dearly. I did occasionally miss being out in the field, but mostly since I’d become a mother, I was grateful that I had a job that never actually put me in harm’s way.
And I was thankful that applied to Gary, also.
But not today.
I bit my lip as I glanced at the time nervously. The team had been called about forty minutes ago to a large structure fire. It was bad apparently. And we were so short staffed. Several people were on vacation and several others had some nasty stomach flu that was going around. Gary had no choice but to suit up and take command out in the field. I was worried sick about him. I knew that I could never stand it to know that he was putting his life on the line out there every day anymore. I wasn’t sure how I did it before. But then again, he wasn’t my husband and he wasn’t the father of our beautiful little girl, either.
So, while I waited, I threw myself into finishing up the work for the day. I was a little bit behind, but with some drive and focus, I was well on my way to having everything back on track by the end of the day. Gary would be pleased to know that. I didn’t want to be lectured about it not being done on time. As much as I loved Gary, and as wonderful as he was a fiancée and a father, he was a strict one when it came to being Chief. At work, we separated our personal lives from the job as best we could. And for the most part we did a pretty good job of it, I would have said. But sometimes things did carry over from one to the other. That was something that couldn’t be helped sometimes.
I was almost done with filing the lesson plan in the computer when the phone call came in. It was Gary.
It was bad.
I couldn’t stand sitting there. I was watching my future husband, the man I loved more than anyone could possible explain, the father of my daughter, fighting for his life. He was stable, but there was a possibility that he would not recover. The doctor told me that the next twenty-four hours were crucial and it was up to him. They’d done all they could.
Lucy was holding Amber sitting beside me. I was too dist
raught to hardly speak. It was all crashing down now. I’d been so happy just a few hours ago.
And now… everything was up in the air. Gary’s life was hanging in the balance. How had we gone from where we were to here? I tried not to dwell on it. If I continued it might very well destroy me. Amber needed me to be strong here. Gary needed me to be strong.
He’d been so wonderful with everything. I couldn’t believe that he had actually forgiven me for everything I’d done. The choice was wrong. I knew that and if I really looked back to how I was feeling when I made that choice, then I would have seen that it was not the right thing to do. But I’d done it. Why? Why did I do this to us?
I wasn’t sure. I knew I had done it because in my heart I felt that it was the best option to protect Gary, but was that the entire truth? Was there some ulterior motive going on in my twisted little brain? I wasn’t sure. I just didn’t know. I’d apologized profusely to Gary and he had accepted my apology. He wanted to look to the future and not dwell on the past. Now it looked like he might not have a future.
What had happened? The other guys in the crew said that Gary had jumped out of the way of some fire burst inside the house when he was coming down the stairs. He’d helped get someone out to safety by handing them off to someone else, and then as he was making his way out of the house this crazy thing happened to him. It was one of those rare things, but they were known to happen.
Gary was knocked off his feet and went tumbling down over the rail to the floor below. At some point his mask was knocked off his face and he was half unconscious breathing in the toxic levels of smoke. He had severe smoke inhalation by the time someone found him.
But he was tough. He was a fighter. He would survive this. I knew that. There was no doubt in my mind that he would get through this. He would not leave me. He would not leave Amber. He was so strong. There was nothing that would keep him from doing what he had to do for his family. I’d never seen a happier man than Gary was nowadays. He loved being part of a family. It was as if this had completed his life somehow. I was a fool to ever think that he would feel any other way about it.
Amber climbed down off Lucy’s lap and came over to me. She was crying looking on. She knew that her dad was hurt badly, even if she didn’t fully understand. I picked her up and held her. My little girl was trembling now, her tears starting to run out of her sweet, little eyes. She was trying to be so brave, but she was scared. Gary and she had become so close lately. She loved her daddy dearly and he loved her.
Amber reached out right then and touched Gary’s hand. She stroked his index finger and cried louder. “Daddy… wake up… daddy…”
I tried to hold it together but this was the most heartbreaking thing I’d ever heard. She was crying for her daddy to wake up and be ok. That’s all any of us wanted. “Daddy will be alright, sweetie,” I said. I hated telling her something that I didn’t know would be true, but I just wanted to believe it so badly and I wanted to dry her eyes as fast as I could. I hated to see my little girl crying. She was being so strong.
“Daddy, wake up… daddy!” Amber cried again.
Lucy was wiping tears from her eyes trying to keep it together as well. My friend had been so great, so strong for me and Amber. I didn’t know what I would have done without her.
Gary’s hand moved.
I did not imagine it. I could see it clear as day right in front of me. His hand was moving, twitching his finger against his daughter’s little hand.
“Daddy…”Amber said, uncertain.
Gary’s hand began to move more pronounced now, several fingers twitching now. A moment later his whole hand was grasping, lightly holding his daughter’s little hand inside of his.
I couldn’t believe it. This was really happening. Gary was waking up. I stared into his face at his furrowed brow. He was wincing from the pain and from the haze of being between dream and being awake.
“Gary…?” I asked out loud. The words left my mouth subconsciously. I could hardly breathe. My voice was shaky and unsure. Was this real? Was Gary really going to wake up? I reached out and touched his hand as well, squeezing his hand with mine.
Just then Gary opened his eyes. He appeared dazed, but he was conscious. He was clearly there and present. I believed that he even knew where he was and as I locked eyes with his, I could see the recall of the day’s events happening behind his eyes. He had realized what happened and was trying to process it all.
“I’ll get a doctor,” Lucy said. She left the room to alert the staff that Gary was waking up.
“Baby…?” I said. “Baby… I love you.”
Gary looked at me and smiled slightly, his eyes still very dazed and a bit unsure of what was going on. His hand held his daughter’s hand lovingly.
“I love you,” Gary spoke softly. “I love you both.”
I laid my head on his chest and listened to his strong, steady heartbeat pounding in his chest. He was going to be ok. I somehow knew this. He would never leave us. Never.
And I would never leave him, not ever again. His little girl needed him and so did I. We would be together forever. I had no doubts about this.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Gary
Six Months Later…
It had finally happened. I was a married man. I still had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming, but there I was standing up in front of all of our friends and family being sworn in as husband and wife, Shelly and I.
Just thinking back about seven months earlier, I wasn’t sure I’d ever even see Shelly again. And then that sweet little twist of fate had occurred and brought us both in to each other’s lives again. That was the strangest thing about the universe, the cosmos, life; you just never knew how it was going to swing things your way sometimes. And you had to be prepared to take advantage of the opportunity.
I thought a lot about what would have happened if I had decided not to fly to Columbus. What if I’d just decided to stay where I was happy and content to continue being miserable and pining over Shelly? What would have happened then?
I imagined that my life would have continued to suck and I would have stayed miserable and completely alone. Maybe I would have come out of it, but I knew that there was no way I ever would have been able to love anyone like Shelly. And that would have prevented me from ever even attempting to try to get close to anyone else.
As fate would have it, I ran into Shelly when I least expected it. That was crazy to think about. There she had been, just randomly out of the blue, almost as if she was waiting for me to find her in some way. And I think looking back on it now, she might have been. She was as lost as I was when I really thought about it.
I’d been so angry at first over the lies and the betrayal, but nothing could have prepared me for the fact that I had a little girl that I knew nothing about. How could Shelly have kept this from me for so long? I… I just couldn’t fathom keeping a secret like that from her. It was unthinkable.
But I did my best to keep a level head and to try to maintain some perspective, or at least try to see things from her point of view and get inside her head to understand why on earth she would have thought it was the best thing. I realized she had never tried to do anything malicious at all. She was in a tough spot and she made the wrong decision. It was a mistake. She was scared and she reacted to her fear incorrectly. Maybe it was my fault for not communicating to her how she could always talk to me about whatever was going on in her world, especially if it affected me. We were a team and we would work these things out together.
The moment I laid eyes on my daughter was the most amazing moment in my entire life. I didn’t know how I would feel, but the fact that it happened so quickly really solidified to me what was real and important in life. I had a whole new meaning, a new role, a brand new purpose. Nothing else in the world really mattered except that I was there for my little girl. I wanted to be the best father I could possibly be and I wanted to be the best husband I could be as well.
After I got over the initial shock of reconnecting with Shelly and after I had done a bit of soul searching, I knew that I had to be with her. I wanted to be married to her. That was not even a question on my mind anymore. It was just a fact. I was going to propose to her and I hoped that she would happily accept it.
She did. And now we were here getting married in front of what felt like the world, or at least our little world. We had friends from the old station there, both of our families, and even some of our new friends came to support us and celebrate our happiest of days.
The wedding was a fairly small ceremony, nothing crazy or elaborate, even though I told Shelly we could go all out and make it as wonderful and outrageous as we wanted to. In the end we decided that we would just make it quiet, intimate, and a real day to remember. We didn’t need to go wild and spend an insane amount of money or anything.
As the minister said, “I now pronounce you husband and wife,” I glanced down at our little girl in the front row with Lucy watching on with a sweet smile on her face. I knew that this was the beginning of a wonderful life together. Amber was our little flower girl and she relished the idea of having an important job in the wedding. And she was wonderful, so adorable.
I kissed my new bride softly on the lips after lifting her veil to reveal the most beautiful face I’d ever seen. I held her closely in my arms as the kiss finished and whispered, “I love you, baby.”
“I love you,” she said back to me.
After the wedding ceremony, we changed our clothes into something more comfortable so that we could enjoy the reception properly. There was a great band that we’d hired, who actually let me come up and play a few songs, including a tender ballad I’d written just for Shelly. I’d spent some time working on it in secret and I played it over and over again in rehearsal trying to get it all just right. Shelly loved how I sang to her. She was almost in tears when it was done. “That is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard.”
Slow Burn (Forbidden Heat Book 3) Page 22
