Court of Frost and Embers (The Pair Bond Chronicles Book 1)

by Leeann M. Shane

  “Loud and clear,” I bit out.

  “Good.” He released me, on his feet and calm in seconds. He took a deep breath of the air, rolling his tongue along his bottom lip. Now his eyes glinted with a shade of hunger. “Do you have any idea how good you smell?”

  I ground my teeth together. “As appetizing as ever, I assume.”

  He took one more breath, held it in his lungs, and then his chest stopped moving, and his eyes brightened. “Your assumption is right.” His eyes found mine, and in them I saw how upset he still was, how scared.

  And since he had been there for me, I wanted to be there for him. “I’m sorry I said that. But I’m not sorry that you’re important to me. And I’m not sorry that I’d do anything to keep you alive.”

  In many ways we were faced with the same nightmare. Now for later, later for now—the future lay within a dream; I couldn’t tell if it were real or not.

  “You sound like me. I don’t like it. Say something human. Please,” he stressed.

  I sighed. “I have to pee. BRB.”

  He let his head fall back and his eyes closed in relief. “Sweet magic to my ears.”

  Once I was finished in the bathroom, I stepped out to find that he stood right where I left him. Only his expression was lighter and his eyes humorous. “How good is vampire hearing?”

  He awarded me with a crooked smile. “Uncanny.”

  I blushed. “Great.”

  He held his hand out to me. “I have a plan.”

  I left my hands at my sides. “Is it a good one?”

  “Trick question, I take it. All of my plans are good.”

  I snorted, unable to help myself. “Right, is that including that time you took us to the top of a mountain and risked the sunlight?”

  He completely ignored me. “Your humanity is important to me. I want it to be important to you, too. There’s only one way to do that, and that’s to show you all of the incredible things about being human.”

  “Like being able to pee without your vampire soulmate listening in the other room?”

  Again, he awarded me with a lopsided grin. “For the record, I don’t intentionally listen. I also hear a hawk somewhere in the forest, and a rabbit scurrying through the snowfall for food. I hear Masters in the basement tinkering about, and Reowna painting. The brushstrokes nearly put me to sleep, if that were still a possibility. I hear your heartbeat, and your breathing; when it speeds up and when it slows down. I’d put super hearing on the cons list of being a vampire. You have no real privacy. At least if you’re around other vampires.”

  I gaped at him. “You mean you hear all of that, all at once, all of the time?”

  He nodded.

  I let that settle in. I couldn’t hear anything other than his words and my own. I didn’t know where Reowna was or what Masters was doing, and I could barely hear the howl of the wind through the thick windowpanes, let alone life beyond them. “At least you can’t read thoughts. That would be sensory overload.”

  His smile evened out into a flat line. “Is that what you’re going to do? Find the silver lining in all of my attempts to prove your humanity is superior?”

  I shrugged. “It wouldn’t be me if I didn’t.”

  “All right.” He wiggled his fingers at me once more. “Take my hand. It’s about time for lunch. Why don’t we go feed you?”

  “I can feed myself.”

  “Emmie.”

  I slapped my hand in his. “Fine, fine. For the record, I’m not looking forward to your plan.”

  “You will,” he said quietly, the way one would whisper their deepest darkest fears.

  I frowned to myself, wondering why he’d seek my humanity out so deeply as to make me crave it, when deep, deep down inside he feared it.

  Back in his car, the heater blaring and the snow falling, I knew I should stay awake, but I couldn’t find the strength not to give in to the heaviness weighing down my lids. I awoke an indeterminable amount of time later to him gently stroking my hair.

  “As adorable as your snoring was, we’re here.”

  I blinked, taking in my surroundings. We were still in Port Inlet, but we were closer to the mountains than we were the town. There were giant peaks in the distance and the forest lay between them and the shack we were currently parked in front of.

  “What is this place?” I blinked at the dilapidated wooden building leaning precariously against the mountain. Lights were on inside, and the small window carved into the wooden surface showcased human-sized shadows moving inside.

  “It’s Coast Café. It’s away from the city. Tourists don’t know about it. It was one of my favorite places to eat as a human. We all came here before we went on the school trip. I had my last human meal here. I want you to eat it for lunch.”

  My breath caught in my throat. I saw the restaurant in a new light. A brighter, beautiful tragic light. One from the eyes of a human boy who’d had no idea his life was about to end. Chill bumps broke out across my arms and I knew no matter how hard this would be, I had to do it. To step into Maxell’s shoes for even a moment. To know what it felt like to have my humanity so close and yet so easily taken away.

  He pulled his hood on and pulled out a pair of sunglasses from a cubby in the arm rest and then got out, waiting near the hood. They were black aviators and they did a good job at shielding his face from the world. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he was a tourist passing through. And not a vampire who was trying his hardest to hold on to his humanity.

  And there I was, attempting to toss it away. Even with good reason—his life was a pretty good reason to me—I still felt the sting.

  Feeling awful, I got out of the car and met him out front. He took my hand and I relished in the cold strong feel of him around my fingers. I wondered if he relished in the soft heat of mine. When he squeezed my hand before opening the warped wooden door to Coast Café, I had to wonder if he could read my thoughts even a little.

  Stepping inside the café was like stepping inside a new world. One full of wood, candlelight, and the strong smell of coffee and spiced meat. Gold twinkle lights were strung to the ceiling and names were carved into the wooden walls. So many names, some with hearts, some with lines through them—there were love stories everywhere I looked.

  Maxell headed straight for the back, sinking down at a booth near the window. His back was to it and I slid in across from him. I heard chattering coming from the kitchen, but there were no other patrons in the dining area.

  “What if someone recognizes you?” Even with shades and a hoodie, he was so familiar.

  I stared at where his eyes were. Even though I couldn’t see them, I felt his gaze on me. Cool and heavy; I shivered.

  “I’m unrecognizable,” he stated, only his lips moving. His chest was as still as a painting. In fact his entire body was still. Not a single inch of him moved unless he absolutely had to.

  In terror, I realized why. And it had nothing to do with my scent. It had to do with the rest of the humans in the back. The humans he had never smelled before. I couldn’t ever remember him being around other humans than me.

  I gritted my teeth together. “Maxell.”

  “I’m fine,” he ground out. “As long as I don’t breathe, I’ll be okay.”

  A door off the side of the kitchen swung open and a woman came out. Spotting us, her eyes lit up. “Customers! I was starting to wonder if we were the last humans on earth.”

  Maxell snorted under his breath.

  I gave her an uncomfortable smile, so afraid that my palms hurt from where I dug my fingernails in. I immediately hated the scene before me. The rigid hardness of Maxell’s body. The deep inner struggle that ensued inside him. One I couldn’t see but I could only imagine.

  The waitress grabbed two menus off the counter and sauntered over, easily in her mid-twenties. She set them down, one in front of each of us, as she gave Maxell a longer look than what I deemed normal. Glancing at me, she gave me a smile. I had a good bet that her instinc
ts were kicking in. I knew how it felt to want to run and stay put at the same time.

  “Can I get you two something to drink while you look the menus over?”

  “One water, one double hot chocolate with extra whipped cream. One double venison cheeseburger with bacon and barbecue sauce with onion rings and extra fry sauce.” Very carefully, Maxell nudged both menus back toward the waitress.

  She studied him, blinking until she absorbed what he’d said. “Gotcha. Gotta love a guy who knows what he wants.” She laughed lightly. “Do you need an extra plate?”

  Maxell didn’t move. “No.”

  She picked up both menus and turned to leave, throwing a look over her shoulder at him before ducking into the kitchen. No doubt to tell everyone about the weird vampire boy at table ten.

  Maxell was stiff and even though I couldn’t tell for sure, I sensed that his eyes hadn’t left mine from the moment we sat down.

  “This is crazy,” I whispered. “You’re torturing yourself.”

  His large pale hands rested atop the table, gently clasped. “This isn’t torture. This is simply a test in self-control.”

  “Since you’re a jock, I have no faith in your test taking abilities.”

  His lips twitched. “Were a jock. Now I’m just a vampire who might have kidnapped you.”

  “What?”

  He tapped his left ear. “Uncanny hearing, remember?”

  I glanced at the kitchen, wondering what else the waitress was saying. “Uh-oh.”

  “It’s fine. Although you might try smiling for real instead of giving her the blink twice if you’re here against your will smile you’ve been giving her.”

  I blew out a breath and tried to relax. He hadn’t shown any true signs of stress so far. I knew he was strong. If he could deny himself my blood, he could deny himself all blood. “Hold my hand. That might help throw her off.”

  He took hold of both of mine with both of his. I studied our hands together as he did the same. His hands were smooth, unblemished alabaster. There wasn’t a mark or scar on him. His nails weren’t pointy, like I’d expect from the vampire movies I’d seen. They were normal nail beds without crescent moons and a hint of white nail overgrowth. My hands were half the size of his, and they were so… human looking. I had a scar on my left ring finger from when I’d been cutting onions for Mom’s marinara and the knife slipped. It had taken four stitches to close the wound. I had a burn on the back of my right hand from pulling a Christmas pie out of the oven.

  I turned our hands over, placing our palms side by side. My palms were riddled with lines and I could even see my veins in the space below my thumb. He had one line in his left palm, and it stretched from his pinky all the way down to his thumb. His right palm was smooth, unblemished stone.

  I traced the line on his left palm with my fingertips.

  I glanced up at him, glad his eyes were covered for once. The intensity coming off him was hard enough to withstand.

  “One water and a double hot chocolate with extra whipped cream.” The waitress set both drinks down, giving our hands a relieved smile.

  “Thank you,” I told her, hoping I sounded normal. Whatever the heck that was.

  “Burger will be out soon,” she informed us, giving Maxell another long look before heading behind the counter.

  He released my hands to push the hot chocolate toward me. “The best hot chocolate you’ve ever had. Hands down.”

  It looked good. The mug nearly toppled over with a mountain of whipped cream drizzled with chocolate sauce. There was even a square of chocolate tucked on top. I plucked it off and popped it into my mouth, letting it melt on my tongue.

  Sadness chased the pleasant taste. Maxell had tasted the exact same flavors I tasted. I brought the mug to my lips with both hands and pulled in a large mouthful, the rich chocolate flavor making me close my eyes and moan. It did taste phenomenal. I took another taste and another until I looked down at the mug in dismay. It was empty.

  When I glanced at Maxell, his shades were slightly lowered enough for me to see his eyes, and they were practically glowing. “Be careful. Your humanity is showing,” he murmured softly.

  I licked my lips, finding them smeared in chocolate and whipped cream. He reached across and slid his thumb over them, leaving what was left on his finger there for a moment.

  I took hold of his hand before he could wipe it off and leaned over, licking the chocolate from his thumb. “That’s mine.”

  His eyes narrowed. “Yours,” he breathed.

  Sitting back, I eyed him as he slid his shades back in place. The waitress set down the burger and onion rings. The burger was enormous. It almost fell over, dripping cheese and bacon. The scent of barbecue sauce and grilled meat made my stomach growl. Tears pricked my eyes imagining Human Maxell devouring this same burger with his friends, with no care in the world.

  I swallowed hard and shook my napkin out, freeing my silverware. The snowfall picked up outside. The waitress started a fire in the pit on the far end of the restaurant. With the gold lights twinkling overhead I could almost pretend that this was romantic, and not a tactic on his part to force my humanity down my throat one bite at a time.

  It had all the parts of a date.

  Him.

  Me.

  Food.

  Warmth.

  Twinkle lights.

  As far as dates, I couldn’t say I’d ever been on one. If he were human, who knew how it would have gone. Maybe I’d tell a joke and he’d gift me with one of those brilliant smiles I’d seen when Misty had shown me his picture for the first time.

  That felt like a million years ago.

  When he took me home after our date, he’d kiss me. We’d hang out at school and make plans and … abruptly, I didn’t want that version of him. I wanted this one. The boy wearing sunglasses in his favorite restaurant. The boy too afraid to breathe in case he hurt me. The vampire who’d lost so much and tried so hard to make me want what he no longer had.

  His eyes bored into mine behind his sunglasses. He didn’t ask what I was thinking. Maybe it was obvious. Maybe it wasn’t and he didn’t need to know these specific thoughts for them to be real.

  We didn’t talk as I ate. I gave it my best shot, eating until I couldn’t physically take anymore. My stomach hurt and onion rings were coming out of my ears. I leaned back, patting my stomach. When the waitress came to take my plate, I panicked. “Can I take the rest to go?”

  She brought me a takeout container and I carefully packed away the third of the burger left and the onion rings, leaving space between them and the fry sauce. Maxell dropped a fifty-dollar bill on the table and pulled his hoodie down further, giving me a nod.

  Before we left Coast Café, he turned back and looked out over the empty restaurant. His lips were pressed together and the tendons in his jaw were strained.

  I got the strangest impression that he was saying goodbye to his human-self right then. Goodbye to the boy who’d had his life cut short, and then he looked down at me a little longer than he did the restaurant, and I got another impression that he was saying hello to his vampire-self.

  Back in his car, he ripped his sunglasses off and pushed back his hood, ruffling his hair and swiping his fingers through it. I was too full, the heater was too warm, and my eyes hurt from fighting back tears all afternoon. I dozed off, only rousing long enough to notice that he was carrying me upstairs. He brought me into my bedroom and lay me down on my bed.

  “The food?” I mumbled, barely able to keep my eyes open as he gently pulled my shoes off and tucked my legs under my blankets.

  “I’ll bring it in,” he promised, bending over to look me in the eye. “This is one more part of being human you’d miss. Closing your eyes at the end of the day and letting everything fade. Sleep tight, Emm.” He pressed a long kiss to my temple, whispering in my ear. “Don’t be afraid to dream.”

  I closed my eyes. And I dreamed of Maxell.

  The way he was now. And not the way he had o
nce been.

  CHAPTER TEN

  My teeth chattering woke me the next morning.

  Cold, so harsh and sharp, crept into my bones and chilled them. It hurt to even move. My thoughts felt chilly and frozen; I could barely think beyond what was happening to me.

  My lips wouldn’t move even though I needed them to scream for help. Something Masters had said weaseled into my conscious mind. “That isn’t a statue carved out of marble. That is a man who is frozen in time.” And then another. “Her body’s going to find a way to kill her, Maxell. It’s only a matter of time.” I closed my eyes, aware that panicking at a time like that probably wasn’t going to make it any easier on me. But I couldn’t help envisioning Maxell toting around my frozen corpse forever, the way I couldn’t forget my nightmare of my boy becoming ash.

  When I opened my eyes, my tears were icicles clinging to my lashes. I let go of a breath; it fogged out in front of me. “Maxell,” I groaned so quietly I myself could barely hear it. “Help.”

  My bedroom door blew open and smashed off the back wall. He was there, screaming for Masters and kneeling over me, hands steady even though his eyes were teeming with concern.

  Masters came into the room, the fever elixir in hand. I realized as I guzzled it down that he’d given me twice as much as he had before, but I only wondered about that briefly because within seconds I thawed. My tears melted and ran down my cheeks. My breath no longer fogged out in front of me and my bones defrosted. I was me in seconds.

  I smiled through my tears at Maxell. “Phew.”

  “Phew,” he repeated, stroking his thumbs over my cheeks.

  Masters studied me intently. “That was a double dose. I have enough windmint for another week’s worth at that rate. I’ll need to make a trip to the fae realm now if I’m to get back before you run out.” He stood from where he’d been kneeling on the bed. “Reowna and I will set out tonight. Will you two be okay without us?” He was looking at Maxell when he asked that.

  Maxell was looking at me. “We’ll be okay. Won’t we, Emm?”