by Em Petrova
“I was an ass back there with Corbin.”
Her brow shot up. “Yeah, you were.”
“Talk with me,” he said again, and dismounted.
She did the same, and they hobbled their horses to allow them to graze while they faced each other here in the open, instead of across a desk or a conference table, or even across from his father’s coffin and the mere patch of grass that had separated them.
“You’re a damn good horsewoman,” he said.
She stared at him a moment and then down at her boots. Scuffed, worn boots. Well-loved boots.
“Thank you,” she said.
“You never told me you were country when I hired you. I had no idea.”
“That’s because I didn’t need this side of myself back in Houston.”
“Is it hard for you to hide it?”
Her blue eyes gleamed. “Is it hard for you?”
Yeah, it was, increasingly so now that he was here and enjoying himself more than he should for a visit to bury his father. He nodded. “Fair enough question.”
“But you won’t answer.” She settled a hand on her hip and jutted it forward in a stance that was all sass and not at all the prim office assistant he’d hired.
Goddammit, I want her.
“I’ll answer, but only because you asked me.”
She eyed him as he paced a bit back and forth, gathering his thoughts.
When he stopped, he said, “I wanted to be self-made. I didn’t want the Cohen money from the success of this ranch paving my way. I went to business school, received honors. I couldn’t back down from that drive I had to create something brand new and all my own, not at all related to the ranch life. I dropped everything and walked away from it. My father was pissed, probably until his dying day.”
He fell silent on the revelation, a new flood of guilt hitting him.
Kizzy waited. When he couldn’t go on, she said, “I didn’t want the country life either. Never wanted to become the wife of a cowboy, struggling to pay the bills. My family’s lucky, but most aren’t. I knew I had to leave the area before I got tied down and it was too late.”
He met her stare. “Exactly.” So they were two peas in a pod, after all. Which only made it harder for him to keep his hands off her.
She was so close, a step away, her lips so inviting and all it would take was one kiss and he knew it would be all over. She’d have to resign from her position as his assistant, and he’d officially be the asshole he’d always hoped he wasn’t.
“So you understand why I can’t stay here.”
She nodded. “I guess I do.”
Her horse wandered over and nudged her. She put up a hand to stroke her automatically, and the mare nuzzled close, right where Knox wanted to be.
“It’s time to head back.” He didn’t know if he meant to the barn or Houston, a world away.
She nodded, probably understanding better than he did himself, and then swung into the saddle.
As he mounted his horse, he settled in to watch Kizzy—and to brood over everything that had taken place this week. Hell, it was a lot longer than a week, if he was honest. The guilt over the way he’d left things with his father extended far beyond this week following his death.
Kizzy’s long dark hair waved over her shoulders. He imagined it was thick enough to wrap around his fist while he—
Firmly shutting the door on that snack break of his imagination, he directed his horse next to hers. Best not to watch her ass bouncing in that saddle any more than he already had, at least for one afternoon.
She was silent, and his mind wandered. Riding always had a way of conjuring memories. How easily he pictured his father on horseback before him, leading him on one of their earliest trail rides. Showing him how to cowboy.
His Uncle John was also in those memories, always on the outskirts, as encouraging as his own father.
He’d given John a hard time since returning to the Amazing Grace. When it came down to it, he didn’t want to step into his father’s boots. Not because they were too big and didn’t fit, but Knox had built a new life for himself—this ranch, becoming the overseer of all that it entailed, did not fit into that box.
What Kizzy had said about never wanting to be the wife of a cowboy, struggling for every dime, didn’t exactly match what he knew of ranchin’. He’d been lucky, and his father had dealt with the hardships. His old man’s savvy business mind, which Knox had inherited, had quickly built the Amazing Grace into the empire it was today.
Maybe what his personal assistant had been trying to say was she wouldn’t do what was expected of her, what generations before her had done. Wasn’t that Knox’s own hang-up as well?
Of course, he couldn’t put words in her mouth.
Then again, she was such a natural here on the ranch, maybe she needed to rethink her life.
“Kizzy.”
She turned her head to pierce him with her gaze. The direct look almost knocked him off his horse. He gripped the reins and tried to recover, when all he wanted to do was put out a hand and graze her warm skin with his fingertips.
“What is it?” she asked.
“Why did you leave what you had to work for me?”
“I went to school for business. Only business I could work at back home was manager of a feed store or maybe doing something for oil riggers.”
He nodded, lost in thought. “So you chose your path. Blazed your own way, outside of your family’s.”
“They’ve been ranchin’ all their lives. Their fathers before them too.”
“And things are different for women?”
“No!” The blue in her eyes transformed to ice, and it cut him to the bone. Her throat mottled red with anger. “My sister Gracie is the best damn hand they have on the Blackburn Ranch, and she could run that place with her eyes closed and a hand tied behind her back.”
“I can see I’ve said that all wrong. I didn’t mean you’re not capable of doing all those things because of your sex.”
She arched a brow at him.
“God, you’ve got a wicked glare, Kizzy.”
Her lips twisted. “Thank you.”
“I’m not sure it was a compliment.”
“I’ll take it as one.”
He chuckled. “All right.” His drawl was back full force, but he didn’t bother trying to rein it in. “So what is it you want out of workin’ for me?”
“Is this one of those ‘where do you see yourself in five years’ questions?”
He spread his fingers, palm up. “If you’d like to answer it as such.”
She was quiet for several more paces. “Will you hold it against me if I tell you I don’t have ultimate plans for my future? I wanted to get into Cohen Mortgages to gain experience, to see how things are run from the top.”
“From my point of view.”
“Yeah.”
He liked this softer, less buttoned-up and precise Kizzy more than he should ever admit. He trailed his gaze over her beautiful face, and damn if he didn’t feel that stirring low in his core again.
He glanced away, to the horizon.
“I figured if an opening became available and I wanted the position, I’d put in my résumé for it.”
“Let the wind carry you?” He cocked his head as he studied her.
“Something like that. But I know you don’t operate that way—you have your next year’s goals hashed out and they’re already being implemented.”
“Are you telling me that I’m too much of a planner?”
She lifted a shoulder in a shrug.
“Wait, you think I can’t be carefree and make a snap decision?”
“I don’t know. Can you?”
He processed this, lips pressed together. “Don’t challenge me, Kizzy.”
At his low warning, her reaction was to toss him a grin. Eyes sparkling, she said, “I have wondered if you are one of those guys who lays out his clothes for every day of the week on Sunday.”
“Dammit. I do
n’t want to be so predictable.”
She giggled, and the warm sound edged into his chest and settled there like a sweet weight.
“I only do it because of the idea of having a sort of uniform. It frees the mind for more creative endeavors.”
She bobbed her head. “Like Steve Jobs without the turtleneck. I get it.”
He wasn’t sure he liked the way she viewed him. That age-old desire a man had to impress the woman he pursued was like a pesky bug biting at him. But he didn’t want to impress Kizzy—she was his employee.
She caught his gaze and glanced away. “Why did you leave all this?”
“Well, that’s the question of the day, isn’t it?”
And he didn’t have any more answers when she asked the question than when he asked it of himself.
* * * * *
Kizzy stood at the open barn door, surveying the Amazing Grace. The country air had filled her head, shoving out all the exhaust and smog of Houston. Beautiful green grasses had overtaken the views of skyscrapers and signs bearing insane traffic patterns.
It had taken her weeks to grow accustomed to city life. And in eight days, she’d managed to lose all sense of that universe and she was a country girl again.
Her parents would smile at her revelation. Her brothers would tease her. And her sisters would give her knowing nods that meant, “I told you so.”
Leaving behind the work she did for Cohen Mortgages for the day and turning to the world she knew so well was becoming a habit she could get used to. Instead of battling traffic to get home to her apartment, she got to slip into the saddle.
Funny how Corbin was always around when she got there. Or maybe not funny at all.
Whenever the ranch hand and Knox got within a hundred yards of each other, their backs went up like a pair of hissing cats. There was no stopping their tense shoulders and short words. If her sister Jessamine was here, she’d tell Kizzy that she was the cause—two guys thumping their chests over a woman.
But she couldn’t help but think there was something else, an underlying animosity that could be the real reason Knox had left the ranch.
Over the past few days, she’d been waiting for the word to pack up, that they were headed back to Houston. But each time she saw Knox, he said no such thing. His uncle was pressuring him to take over the Amazing Grace—maybe Knox was seriously considering it?
No, this was KC she was talking about. The man was king of the conference room. He sliced up small companies and ate them for breakfast with a side of toasted dreams.
Corbin came around the corner of the barn and caught sight of her standing in the doorway. His crooked smile quirked her way. “How you doin’ today, Kizzy?”
He was handsome in that rugged way all cowboys were. Worn jeans, sleeves rolled over ripped forearms and work gloves in place. Hat brim pulled low, he had a way of staring at her that made her uncertain if she should run or step closer.
This was exactly why it’d been a good idea to leave home. One look from the wrong cowboy and she’d be married and home with a couple o’ babies. She never wanted those things for herself and if she ever decided she did, she’d go after it on her own terms and only if having a family enriched her life.
She wasn’t about to adopt that lifestyle just because it was the next step.
He ducked his head, catching her eye. “Everything all right? You look mighty broody this afternoon.”
She shook off her cares. “Just fine, thanks. How’s your day?”
“Same as always. Runnin’ day in and day out, all day long. Don’t mind the hard work, though. Keeps my mind off other things.”
“Yes, work does that. Especially ranch work.”
“Where’s your family’s ranch?”
A smile spread on her lips. “Paradise Valley. All my cousins and brothers are there.”
“My family’s been in this area for generations. I learned cowboyin’ from my daddy, who worked here on the Amazing Grace.”
Her brows shot up. “A family business, it sounds like.”
His face darkened. “No, that’d be Knox Channing and his daddy.”
The way he used both names to refer to Knox made her think of those Southern boys who went by their first and middle names. John Lee or Cole Dean. Curious that the ranch hand would refer to Knox this way, unless he knew him well. The pair definitely had a history.
She was about to question him more, but Corbin pulled off his Stetson and raked his fingers through his sweat-damp hair. “I’ve got more chores ahead of me. But I’ve got time to saddle your mare if you’d like me to.”
“I can do it,” she told him, not for the first time or even the fifth. “Corbin, is there anything else to do around here?”
He eyed her. “To do?” he echoed.
“Yeah, like a place to dance.”
“You wanna go out? Gettin’ a bit stuffy in the big house for ya?” He tossed his head toward the house and then planted his hat back on his head.
“Not exactly stuffy. And I love getting out to ride. I just wondered what else is in the area.”
“Cowboy bar up the road about ten miles. Not a place a lady goes alone, but I’d be happy to—”
He cut off abruptly, leaving her waiting. And wondering. Perhaps if he wasn’t supposed to fraternize with anybody who visited the Amazing Grace.
The internal struggle she saw on his face had her reaching out a hand. She placed her fingers on his arm. “It’s all right. We’ll be leaving soon, and I’ll be back in the city.”
He gave a nod and stepped away. “See you later, Kizzy.”
“Yes.” She watched him walk off. Confused by his hot/cold manners, she could only wonder if she was right about ranch hands not being permitted to speak to guests. It was an old-fashioned idea, but this place had been established long ago, when ranch hands were just employees and not friends.
She folded her arms across her chest and turned in the direction of the house. Today, she wouldn’t ride. She would go exploring on foot and see what new excitements she could discover.
While she strolled, her phone rang twice. She fielded questions from Charles Davis and the marketing team again. Both parties wanted to know when to expect KC back in the office.
She told them he was handling important business here, but she didn’t tell them she had no idea what. He didn’t confide much to her about the ranch or what he was going to do with his inheritance.
In the end, she returned to her room and gathered her laptop. She took it out to the veranda so she could enjoy the late-afternoon sun while she worked late.
A footstep brought her attention up and away from the memo she was typing and about to send off to the marketing team. When she settled her gaze on Knox and saw the torment twisting his handsome features, she shot to her feet.
She hadn’t seen him like this since the day she’d shared the news his father had passed.
“Knox…”
“Am I interrupting you?” His voice was pitched low.
She shook her head. “I’m just sending a memo to marketing.”
“Yeah. Marketing.” He stared at her a long heartbeat. “Would you mind looking at something with me?”
Why was her heart pumping so hard, so fast? This was just KC, her boss.
She nodded.
He tipped his head, indicating she should follow him, and went into the house.
In the days she’d been a guest on the ranch, she had never set foot in the study, which had belonged to his father. Doing so now felt like meeting the man himself. Photos of him stood on a wooden table along one wall. Some of the man on horseback, lassoing a gelding out of a larger herd or leaning against a fence. A thick rug patterned in the Navajo style covered the dark wood floor and panels of wood behind the desk showcased the golden trophies there.
The desk itself looked to have been moved from some vintage estate, battered around the corners so they were rounded instead of square, and gouges and scratches only added to the charm of the piece
.
Knox didn’t take the leather seat behind the desk but folded his arms and leaned against the furniture. Behind him, papers were stacked or spread out.
“I love the feel of this space,” she said, looking around herself.
He nodded, not removing his stare from her. She felt it like a touch of his fingertip, and it left her stomach tingling.
“It’s about the ranch, Kizzy.”
“Okay.”
“I’m not sure what I should do.”
“I’ll help in any way I can.”
After a few seconds, he nodded and pushed away from the desk. His manner was so off today. What was going on? A red flag waved in the back of her mind. What she saw of her boss was starting to worry her. This was not the confident, self-made man she knew.
He picked up a heavy wooden side chair and drew it up to the desk alongside the leather swivel one. “Take a seat, please. I’d like you to look over some of these books with me.”
“Of course,” she said coolly. But what she felt inside was a flutter of apprehension. She didn’t like the way he was acting. Even his speech was coming out flat, without any of the enthusiasm he always had for his own company.
They sank down together, and he began to show her the books. She was distracted as hell, wanting to turn to him and put her arms around him and tell him that no matter what he decided about the Amazing Grace, it would be all right.
She chewed her lip as she stole glances at his handsome profile.
Crap—she needed to get back to Houston, and quick, before she started allowing her personal feelings for Knox to show. She could not, on any level, reveal that he was anything more than a boss to her. He wasn’t even her friend let alone the wild things her imagination was building him up to be.
And she sure as heck wasn’t thinking of how those hard lips of his would feel against hers.
* * * * *
The columns of numbers were all in the black. The profits last quarter on the ranch had been record-breaking compared to past quarters. If things continued in this vein, they’d be making a hell of a lot of money this year.
But Knox didn’t care about the money. Did he want the ranch?
Sitting here at his father’s desk all day, the chair that molded to the form of his father’s body, and looking over his small, neat handwriting, had shaken all he knew about himself.
