The Golden Viper

by Sean Robins

  “Did he just say ‘prince’?” asked Cordelia.

  “Did you kill a member of your royal family to save me?” I asked incredulously, half my brain still thinking it must’ve been a trick.

  “Yes,” he said as if it was the most normal thing in the world. “His actions would have brought dishonor to the kingdom and the king I serve. Moreover, he had disobeyed a direct order.”

  Damn it. I was beginning to actually like this guy.

  “You remember he was about to kill you if that dead prince hadn’t interfered, right?” asked Venom. “Seriously, what’s wrong with you? Do you now have some weird type of Stockholm Syndrome, on top of OCD?”

  “Will you ask your fleet to stop?” asked Maada.

  “What? Oh, sorry.” I’d totally forgotten my fleet was moving towards us. I contacted Ella and asked her to stop.

  “What the hell is going on?” she asked.

  “Damned if I know,” I growled.

  “We have a problem now,” Maada continued. “Your space fighter is damaged by Polvaar. It is not fair to you if we continue our duel in your ship’s current condition. I, however, can disable a few systems on my ship and reduce her capabilities so that we can resume.”

  “And I must trust you why exactly? You could pretend you have done that and come at me with your ship’s full power.”

  I could hear the anger in his voice, “Everyone in the universe knows—”

  “That you keep your word. I know.”

  “Jim?” said Ella. “The Akakies just went apeshit dirtside.”

  Kurt had done it. Again.

  “How’s that going?” I asked.

  “Hard to say, but fighting has broken out all over the planet.”

  Maada’s image disappeared from my screen. “General?” I asked.

  His ship suddenly dove towards the planet, his fleet right behind him.

  My heart decided to jump into my mouth, but it got stuck in my throat. He was going for the Akakies. If we stood there and did nothing, he’d slaughter the poor insectoids by the millions from above. If we followed him, we would have to engage his fleet close to the planet surface, where he’d have the support of those terrifying planet-based anti-aircraft laser turrets which were capable of inflicting heavy casualties on us. Talk about a no-win situation. This was a perfect example of the Kobayashi Maru.

  And Kurt was still somewhere down there. My mouth dried so much that I felt it was filled with desert sand.

  “Fight’s on!” I screamed into my mike.

  I pushed the stick all the way down, put my Viper’s nose down forty-five degrees, and followed the enemy fleet.

  Ella and the rest of my people came after me.

  Maada had always been quick to anger, but the hot, burning rage that overcame him right now was so severe that it was like a high-voltage electric current was shooting through his body.

  The Earth fleet appearance on orbit was a trap, as he had expected. What he had not anticipated was the Akakies—those spineless insects—would suddenly grow backbones and attack them. And not a few millions, or even billions of them, but the whole freaking planet, every single one of them armed to the teeth.

  No matter. He would rain fire on Kanoor, killing millions. The enemy fleet was hot on his tail, but he would have the planet to himself for a few minutes before they could catch up. His fleet could inflict a lot of damage in a few minutes and, hopefully, help their ground forces squash the Akakie upraising. But despite his blinding rage, deep down he knew that was not possible. Killing a few million would not help when your enemy numbered in the billions.

  How the hell had this happened? The insects’ aversion to fighting was legendary. How had the whole planet suddenly turned into fearless warriors?

  His hands started trembling uncontrollably, and for the first time as far back as he could remember, he tasted fear. He could not lose another battle right after the Earth debacle. Moreover, if this fleet were destroyed too, Tangaar would never survive. They simply did not have enough ships left to keep the kingdom together.

  I will not go down in history as the man who destroyed Tangaar!

  He swore he would kill the next Akakie he crossed path with.

  A minute later, he was glaring at Tarq’s face in a VR screen.

  “You,” Maada growled.

  His warrior instinct told him this little insect was bad news. He had met him for the first time before their defeat on Earth, and even then he had felt Tarq was up to something. And now, he was here again, right when the Akakies had inexplicably gone into a frenzy. It could not have been a coincidence.

  “I did not introduce myself the last time we talked face-to-face. My name is Tarq, and I am the commander of the Akakie Special Operations Force.”

  Maada frowned. “Is that supposed to mean something to me?”

  “What?” The insect looked genuinely surprised. “You do not remember me? We have talked before. On Earth. I said you had fallen into my trap, and you said something about having sex with a horse.”

  Maada gave him a level look. “I have no recollection of my last few weeks on Earth.”

  Tarq chuckled. “Is it a clone thing? This is awkward. I was planning to brag that you have fallen into my trap again. I am sure you know there are now twenty billion armed Akakies screaming for your blood here.”

  “I am aware, and I really would like to know how you managed that.”

  Tarq sighed theatrically. “I am going to tell you the truth. Do you remember we used our own mind-control machine to inoculate our people against yours? We used that opportunity to leave a hypnotic message on everyone’s mind. Once they heard a secret word that I had just broadcast all around Kanoor, they believed they were strong, undefeatable warriors, and they would happily give their lives to kill your type. I wonder if you have noticed, we have plenty of lives to give. And they will not stop until all the Xortaags are dead, or I broadcast another secret word.”

  This made sense, and it matched the reports Maada had received from the planet, according to which the Akakies were attacking with no apparent regard for their lives.

  “I still can, and I will, destroy you and your stupid planet,” Maada said through clenched teeth.

  “You might, but I submit to you that your goal had never been to destroy a planet, but to colonize it, and I think we can both agree that unless you can invent a time machine, go back in time and stop me from broadcasting the first secret word, it is not going to happen.”

  The insect had a point. Destroying Kanoor had no advantage for the Xortaags, and keeping it was not possible either. Moreover, the potential price he had to pay to achieve a strategically useless objective was very high. And with his contingency plan in full swing, it could even be argued this campaign was already a success, and there was no reason for him to risk everything to lay waste to Kanoor now, especially given that if everything went as he hoped, they could always come back in a year or two and deal with the insects once and for all.

  “The way I see it, we have two options,” continued Tarq. “We can fight. Maybe we get lucky and kill you. Maybe you get lucky and kill us, but either way, Kanoor is lost to you.”

  Maada could not argue with that logic. He said nothing and just listened. He had a hunch where this was going.

  “Or we can call it a truce. You can take your ground forces and go back home. Imagine how many people you are saving.”

  “I have to confer with Prince Mushgaana,” said the general.

  “Can you summon his ghost?” Tarq asked innocently.

  Maada’s eyed widened. “He is dead?”

  “You people really have to stay away from the humans. Every time you go to war with them, your crown prince ends up ‘buying the farm’, as the humans would say.”

  Maada’s heart sank. He and Mushgaana had been campaigning together for a very long time, and the prince was his only friend. He was family, even. Maada remembered how Mushgaana had saved his life back on Tangaar by going against his broth
ers, and a familiar anger rose in his heart. There was no time for anger though, nor for mourning. He had to think about the people under his command and how to save them from this clusterfuck.

  “To sweeten the deal, I also offer to unilaterally release our POWs,” said Tarq. “We have captured some twenty-five million Xortaags on the planets our task force freed, and to be honest, we are not sure what to do with them.”

  Maada thought about it for a moment. “How many Deathbringers have you seized?”

  The question caught Tarq by surprise. “What?”

  “You heard me, and do not try to lie. I will find out. Also, I have heard the story of how the Kingslayer made fifteen thousand Deathbringers surrender to him on Talmak.”

  “That number is slightly exaggerated.”

  “I know. You know how? We had only eight thousand space fighters there.”

  “I do not know the exact number,” responded Tarq. “Ten thousand sounds like a good estimate.”

  The general rubbed his scars. Between this and his plan B, he could still turn this operation into a win. “I want them back too.”

  Tarq protested, “We cannot possibly give you a whole fleet of Deathbringers!”

  Maada leaned forward and stared at him through the screen. “Listen to me, and listen carefully. I cannot go back to Tangaar and tell my king I got his favorite son killed, again, and I have nothing to show for it. You will release our POWs and return our ships, or we will all die right here, right now.”

  Tarq said nothing for a minute. Then he looked over his shoulder and threw his hands up. “OK, I agree.”

  Not a good negotiator, thought Maada. “And I want the Kingslayer’s head.”

  Tarq wiggled a finger at him. “Do not push your luck.”

  Maada shrugged. “It was worth a try.”

  And who knew? He might even be able to convince the king to bring Mushgaana back one more time.

  “One more thing, General. We’ll scan your ships as they leave the planet, and we will fire upon any transport vessel that we see carrying a piece of our technology.”

  A little late for that. “Fair enough.”

  Tarq looked over his shoulder again. “Call off your forces, and I will do the same. Please hurry up because it appears some of your soldiers are rolling in a laser cannon aimed at my precious little head, which I very much prefer to keep on my shoulders.”

  I was the last pilot to go back to Invincible, but I didn’t immediately land in her hangar bay. Instead, I hovered above her in space, all alone, surrounded by an eerie silence, with nothing to see but thousands of sparkling diamonds all around. I leaned back in my cockpit seat and closed my itchy eyes. I was exhausted. The dogfight with Maada, while short, had taken a lot out of me, and there was always an adrenaline crash immediately after a mission. My limbs were heavy and sleep sounded nice, but I knew it wouldn’t come for a long while, even later in my bed.

  I could feel an easy smile spreading over my face. All I wanted to do at that moment was to be still and let relief sink into my tired bones. Before the operation I was certain (given the enemy’s numerical advantage and the fact that Maada was leading them) we were walking into a bloodbath. Fifty percent casualty sounded like a reasonable estimate, and that was if we won. And yet, we’d come back from this one without losing a single pilot. Yay, me.

  “I take my General Custer comment back,” said Venom.

  On top of that, we’d done what we came here to do. Kanoor was liberated, and the Xortaags couldn’t use the Akakie technology to attack Earth and expand their kingdom even further. We’d quite literally saved the galaxy. Eat your collective hearts out, Avengers.

  And, on a personal note, I’d gone toe-to-toe with Maada and survived, which in itself was a remarkable victory. He had the upper hand towards the end, but I had him for a few magnificent seconds. I wondered if he was scared when the energy bolts I’d shot ripped into his Deathbringer. He probably was. That would teach him.

  Yeah, this was a win all around.

  Liz would’ve been so proud of me.

  Three days after Operation Endgame ended, I ran into Patricia who was stepping out of Kurt’s quarters on Serenity. “How is he?”

  She shook her head.

  “That bad?”

  I entered Kurt’s quarters. “You know, I used SFD to come here. It’s like those Star Trek transporters. I can’t believe I just got beamed.”

  “Oksana and I”—his voice broke when he mentioned her name—“used to do it all the time, going back and forth between Serenity and Invincible.”

  He was sitting in a lotus position on his bed. There was an opened but untouched Paulaner bottle in front of him.

  “Are you meditating?”

  “Yes, but it isn’t helping. Neither did playing the piano, or even drinking.”

  I sat on a sofa in front of him and waited.

  He stared off into nothing. “The first time I met Oksana, she challenged Allen to hand-to-hand combat.”

  “That girl had guts.”

  “She did.” He glanced at a chess board in a corner of his room. “We didn’t even finish our last game. You realize from our inner circle in Winterfell, only you and I have survived?”

  I choked up a little. “Kind of hard not to, seeing that one of them was my wife, and one my brother-in-law.”

  After all this time, it was still difficult to talk about Liz.

  “If Oksana had married Matias, what would she have been to you?”

  “Family,” I said, “which she already was anyway.”

  Kurt stood up and stretched before sitting on the sofa. “I led a task force of forty Commandos to SH-1 during Operation Royalty. You know how many have survived besides me?”

  I shook my head.

  “One. It was a woman who found her husband after we turned off MFM and decided to start a family, so she left the Commandos. There would’ve been another one, but he died in a car crash. Go figure.”

  “I lost three thousand pilots under my command during that operation,” I said, “and six thousand in total, freeing Earth.”

  “Seriously, it’s a competition now?” Kurt smiled bitterly. “I looked them up, you know. Tried to visit their loved ones, or at least call them. It was more heartbreaking than watching them die in the first place.”

  We sat quietly for a few minutes, lost in thoughts.

  “I like to sit here and wallow in my sorrows as much as the next man,” I said, “but I’m here to discuss something important. I think I’ve found a way to end this thing with the Xortaags once and for all.”

  “Wow! Seriously?” asked Cordelia.

  That caught me by surprise. “What the hell are you doing on Serenity?”

  “I told you, I’m a sentient being now,” she said. “I can go wherever I want as long as there is a system that can support me.”

  “Privacy mode,” I growled.

  “Why? You aren’t doing anything private. Or disgusting. I’d leave you alone if you did. Oh, and Kurt, if you want, I can play chess with you.”

  “Thanks, Cordi,” said Kurt.

  I grunted and rubbed my forehead. Now that she’d found a way to disable the privacy mode, there was no way to get rid of her.

  Kurt smiled at my discomfort. “You were saying something about a plan to beat the Xortaags?”

  “I didn’t say ‘beat,’ to be exact,” I clarified. “I’m planning to make them an offer they can’t refuse.”

  Kurt listened to my plan with interest. “I think Tarq has been rubbing off on you. Be careful now. Next thing you know, you’ll start pulling distasteful pranks on people.”

  “This could work,” said Cordelia.

  “So what do you think we should do?” I asked Kurt.

  Kurt took out his PDD. “We should talk to the world’s greatest shadow master.”

  “The one who didn’t come up with this genius plan?” I asked wryly.

  “Before you do that,” said Cordelia, “I have something that might ma
ke you laugh and cheer up. Check out your PDDs.”

  She’d sent us a video, showing one of the many ongoing celebrations on Kanoor. The whole planet had been a wild party since the Xortaags had left. Boy, those Akakies sure knew how to celebrate! A huge crowd of the Akakies had gathered in their presidential palace, dancing excitedly like they had forgotten how to stand still, screaming in joy. They watched as a twelve-foot-tall statue of a human was being erected. The statue was golden, and its face was extremely familiar. I saw that face every day whenever I looked in a mirror.

  “They’ve built a statue of me?” I said in disbelief.

  “Nope,” Cordelia answered. “Not a statue. Thousands of them. All over the planet.”

  “Why?”

  “You did defeat Maada again, albeit not as decisively as the last time, and help them take their planet back from the Xortaags.”

  “I’m the best,” I said humbly.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me,” growled Kurt.

  He sounded very, very angry. I had no idea why.

  “Don’t worry, Kurt,” I said. “If you want, I promise to have a statue of you built and keep it in my closet. It has to be much smaller than this one though.”

  I ran towards the door before he could find something to throw at my head.

  “So, what do you think?” asked Tarq.

  “Jim came up with this plan?” asked Xornaa. “That boy’s smarter than he looks.”

  “I have often wondered if his silly behavior is simply a facade to throw everyone off,” said Barook.

  They were in Xornaa’s quarters aboard Serenity. She had offered them a drink, but Tarq had said no. He would not have put it beyond Xornaa to poison him. Away from Jim and Ella’s prying eyes, he was smoking his favorite pipe. “If that is the case, he is making a very good show of it. Did you know that he talks to himself?”